The nefarious President Scrumpox was quite busy at the time the Buboes sprung forth from the flatulenz mist. He had discovered the loss of the book of record and almost crapped himself. Frightened almost to death at the prospect of his fraud on the people's being made public, he decided to act boldly and hold his position as president at any cost.

  Since Majordomo Zika Zoster was to be the next president, Scrumpox suspected him first of all, so he had the man bound with veiny vines and brought before him, when he accused him of stealing the book of record. Of course Zika Zoster denied taking the book, but he became almost as nervous at its loss as had the president. He secretly believed that Soda had taken the book from the treasury, and if this were true it might prove as great a misfortune as if the president had kept it locked up. For Soda had escaped into the flatulenz mist bank and Zika Zoster was afraid the tween would never again be seen in Viralvania.

  He did not tell Scrumpox of this suspicion, because in that case the president would realize he was secure, and that his deception could never be proved against him. The majordomo simply denied taking the record book, and the president did not believe he spoke truly. To prevent his rival from ever becoming the president of Viralvania Scrumpox determined to have him spliced, but for some time he could find no other Viralvanian to splice him with. No one had disobeyed a command or done anything wrong, so the president was in a quandary until he discovered that a servant- a mixologist named Dengue had- poorly concocted his daily martimmy. So, on the very morning that the Buboes arrived, President Scrumpox had ordered his two prisoners brought into the chamber of the ranchion where the Splicer stood and his soldiers were getting ready to perform the operation of splicing Zika Zoster with Dengue, when a very attractive messenger named Cyto came running to say that a great army of the Buboes had broken through the flatulence mist bank.

  "Never mind," said Scrumpox, "I'll attend to them in a minute. I'm busy now."

  "They are marching on us," said the frightened-yet-alluring, big-eyed Cyto. "If you delay, Mr. President, we shall all be captured. You'd better save your country first and do your splicing afterward." Cyto’s legs were the shapeliest in Viralvania.

  "What!" roared Scrumpox, "dare you dictate to me?" But he was impressed by the handsome messengers logic. After locking the prisoners in the splicing chamber the ruler hurried away to assemble his iguanaboy thugs.

  By this time the Buboes had advanced halfway across the desert, so the first thing Scrumpox did was to order all the gates closed and locked and then he placed a line of iguanaboys on top of the wall to prevent any of the Buboes from climbing over.

  Therefore when Kommandant Chunks' army reached the wall she was obliged to halt her ranks until she could find a way to enter the country.

  Now when President Scrumpox looked through the turquoise-steel bars of the main gate and saw the enemy armed with prickers, he began to tremble; and when he thought how painful it would be to have his body and arms and legs pricked by such weapons he groaned aloud and was very miserable. But the thought occurred to him that if he could avoid being caught by the Buboes they would be unable to prick him. So he went among his people and reminded them how horrible it would feel to be pricked full of holes by the invaders, and urged them to fight desperately and drive the Buboes back into the flatulenz mist bank.

  Only a few of the Viralvanians were brawlers, and these all belonged to Scrumpox's iguanaboy bodyguard, but the citizens realized they must indeed fight bravely to save themselves from getting hurt, so they promised the president to do all they could. Also they assembled in the streets in small groups and told each other in frightened whispers that all their trouble was due to the president's cruel treatment of the freaks. If he had received them as friends instead of enslaving them, they would never have escaped to the Buboes and brought an army into Viralvania, that they might be revenged. The Viralvanians had not liked their president, before this, and now they began to hate him, forgetting they had also treated the strangers in a very disagreeable manner.

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  Meantime the six waspnosed sisters had seen from the balcony of the ranch house the army of the Buboes marching upon them, and the sight had served to excite them greatly. They had been quarreling bitterly among themselves all the morning, and strangely enough this quarrel was all about which of them should marry Zika Zoster. They knew that some day the majordomo would become president, and each one of the six had determined to marry him so as to be the vice-president- and thus force her sisters to obey her commands. They paid no attention to the fact that Zika Zoster did not want to marry any of them, for they had determined that when it was agreed who should have him they would ask their father to force the man to marry.

  While they quarreled in one room of the ranch house Zika Zoster was in danger of being spliced in another room; but the six waspnosed sisters did not know that. The arrival of the Buboes gave them something new to talk about, so they hurried downstairs and along the corridors so as to gain the courtyard of the compound and take part in the exciting scenes.

  But as they passed the closed door of the splicing chamber they heard a low moan and stopped to listen. The moan was repeated and, being curious, they unlocked the door- the key having been left on the outside- and entered the room.

  At once the Buboes were forgotten, for there upon the floor, tightly bound, lay Zika Zoster, and beside him poor Dengue, who had uttered the moans.

  The six sisters knelt down in a circle facing the captives and Ebola said:

  "Zika, my dear, we will release you on one condition: That you choose a partner from among us and promise to marry the one selected, as soon as the Buboes are driven back into the mist bank."

  Zika Zoster managed to shake his head. Then he said:

  "Really, ladies, you must excuse me. I'd rather be spliced than be hitched to one of you dork-butts."

  "Jerk-face!" cried Diptheria; "If you don’t choose me I'll gouge your eyes out!"

  "If you don’t choose me," said Papilloma, in a rage, "I'll tear out your hair by the roots!"

  "I'll scratch your obstinate face with my finger nails!" screamed Neisseria.

  "And I," said Urethrussa, passionately, "will pound your head with a brick!"

  "I'll shake him till his teeth shatter!" shrieked Pertussia.

  "The best way to manage a husband," observed Ebola angrily, "is to break his nose."

  "Ladies," said Zika Zoster, when he had a chance to speak, "threaten me all you want, I shall choose none among you for a partner."

  "We'll see about that," said Diptheria.

  "I think you will soon change your mind," added Neisseria.

  "I'm going to be spliced to Dengue, here, as soon as the president returns," said Zika Zoster, "and it's against the law for a spliced man to marry anyone. It's regarded as half-bigamy." Dengue moaned louder.

  "Dear me!" cried Pertussia; "if he's spliced he never can be president."

  "Then he mustn't be spliced," declared Papilloma. "We must save him from that fate, girls, and force him to decide among us. Otherwise, none of us can ever be the vice president."

  This being evident, they proceeded to unbind the long legs of Zika Zoster, leaving his body and arms, however, tied fast together. Then between them they got him upon his feet and led him away, paying no attention to poor Dengue, who whined to be released. Dengue was particularly vexed because he had wet his pants five minutes earlier.

  After a hurried consultation the six waspnosed sisters decided to hide the majordomo in one of their boudoirs, so they dragged him up the stairs to their reception room and fell to quarreling as to whose boudoir should be occupied by their captive. Not being able to settle the question they finally locked him up in a vacant room across the hall and told him he must stay there until he had decided to marry one of the sisters and could make a choice among them.

  They left him a bucket to go poo-poo and pee-pee into.