Edwige Kenchington the Chic Chigger now dismissed from the shack palace all but Pucas, Chunks, Excrescence and Empress Soda, the new ruler of the Buboes. Sist waddled away to her father's house to put on a beautiful bathrobe all covered with magenta dusted diamonds, for she was glad to be relieved of the duties of ruler and was eager to be gaily dressed like a normal citizen again.

  Edwige began conversing with the alchemist, whom she urged to stay with the new empress and protect her as long as she ruled Swollenlump. Excrescence, who longed to please any inhabitant of the mighty sky viper (or skyper), promised faithfully to devote herself to Empress Soda as long as she might need her services, and apologized for voting to murder them.

  "I was sure something would happen to save you," explained Excrescence, "and that was actually why I voted to have you thrown off the edge. I knew if you had control over a thaumaturgic toilet plunger you must have a powerful thaumaturgic aura about you, protecting you. I wanted to discover who would come to your assistance, and I found out. And now I have made a friend of Edwige Kenchington!"

  “Well, I don’t know about friend,” said Edwige. “More of an acquaintance.” Excrescence looked cow-towed.

  Pucas had found a small magenta bathrobe (made for a doll) that fit Soda. By the time Soda put it on over her turquoise jumpsuit there was an excited and clamorous crowd assembled in the court, and Edwige led her out to greet her new subjects.

  The Buboes of Swollenlump were much impressed by the fact that a sky viper’s inhabitant was their new empress’s friend. So they shouted their approval very enthusiastically and pressed forward one by one to kneel before their new ruler and kiss her hand.

  Soda turned to the Buboes.

  "Let's have a holiday today," she said. "Have a good time and enjoy yourselves. I don't just know how I'm going to rule this country, yet, but I'll think it over and let you know."

  Then she went into the palace shack with Chunks and Pucas and Edwige and Excrescence, and the people went away to enjoy themselves and talk over the surprising events of the day. Eventually Chunks said:

  “You can't waste your time ruling this tucked-up country, Soda."

  "Why not?" asked Soda, who was pleased with her new and important position.

  "It'd get pretty tiresome, after you'd had a few quarrels with the Buboes. And they expect their empress to be as poor as poverty and never have any fun in life."

  Soda seemed thoughtful.

  "No; I don't know that I would want to be in charge," she admitted. "But as long as we stay here it seems a pretty good thing to be empress. I guess I'm a little proud of it. I wish Uncle Karl could see me ruling the Buboes.”

  "What should we do?” asked Pucas.

  "We ought to get home," observed Soda. "Our friends will be worried about us and Bonertania's the best place to live, after all.”

  “Gotta get the plunger,” Pucas said.

  "Piddily-Cum-a-Dunger," said Chunks sadly; "the president's got the plunger.”

  “Edwige, couldn’t you take us home on the back of your viper?”

  "I am going to have to find my way back to Serpantalon. I admit I was quite impulsive to jump off his butt right when he was evaporating but my hoo-hoo senses were warning me a friend was in trouble. I foolishly left a thaumaturgic balnut to summon Serpantalon at home. So I believe what we must do is go into Viralvania and force President Scrumpox to give up the plunger,” said Edwige.

  "Through the fart mist?" asked Pucas, doubtfully.

  "And let the president capture us again?" asked Chunks.

  "And have to wait on the waspnoses instead of being an empress!" said Soda.

  "You must remember that conditions have changed, and you are now a powerful ruler," replied Edwige. "The Buboes pledged to obey your commands. Why not assemble an army, march through the mist, fight and conquer the president and recapture the thaumaturgic toilet plunger?"

  "Super genius!" shouted Chunks, "Let's do it, Empress Soda!"

  "Good idea," added Pucas.

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  Excrescence let out another low, strangled fart.

  "Do you think the Buboes could fight the Viralvanians?" asked the saggy thaumaturge.

  "Why not?" replied Chunks. "They have sharp poo sticks, and know how to use them, whereas the Viralvanians have only veiny vines.”

  "The Viralvanians are the bigger people," said Soda.

  "That’s as may be," the golem remarked, "but that's our only hope of ever getting home again. I'd like to try it, Soda."

  "If you decide on this adventure," said Excrescence, "I believe I can be of much assistance to you."

  "That'll help," asserted Chunks. Chunks still thought Excrescence was a dork-butt.

  "And we've one good friend among the Viralvanians," said Soda. "I'm sure Zika Zoster will side with us, and I've got the record book, which proves that the president has already reigned his lawful three hundred years."

  “That awful old president scummy Scrumpox won't give up without a struggle,” said Chunks. “When shall we start?"

  Soda hesitated, so they all looked to Edwige for advice.

  "Just as soon as we can get the army together and ready," decided the chigger. "That will not take long- perhaps two or three days."

  "Good!" cried Chunks. Again Soda wondered why Chunks was so eager to get into fights lately.

  Much to the surprise of the Bonertanians the Buboes made no objection whatever to undertaking the adventure. Their lives were so monotonous and uninteresting that they welcomed anything in the way of excitement, especially after our friends showed them the stench of the mist was not permanent. This march through the unknown flatulence mist bank to fight the unknown Viralvanians aroused them to enthusiasm, and although the result of the expedition could not be foretold and some of them were almost certain to get hurt, they did not hesitate to undertake the war.

  The warriors consisted of both men and women, equally divided, and there was no need to provide uniforms for them because their regular magenta dusted diamond encrusted bathrobes were a distinctive uniform in themselves. Each one bore a long pointed petrified poo stick as the main weapon and had two short pointed poo sticks stuck in the belts of their robes.

  While the army was getting ready, Edwige went to the central edge of the flatulence mist bank and fearlessly entered it. There she called for the spirochaete potentaete, and the two held an earnest and long talk together.

  Meantime Chunks had the army assembled in the court of the statues, where Empress Soda appeared and told the Buboes that Chunks was to be kommandant of the expedition and all must obey her commands. Then Kommandant Chunks addressed the army and told what the flatulenz mist bank was like. She advised them all to wear raincoats over their pretty magenta bathrobes, so they would not get moist, and she assured them that all the creatures to be met with in the flatulence mist were perfectly harmless.

  "When we come to Viralvania, though," he added, "you're liable to be pretty busy. The Viralvanians are tall and lanky, and ugly and fierce, and if they happen to capture you, you'll all be spliced- which totally bites. They fight with long sloppy veiny vine whips, some of them with weights at the end. So whenever they come at you, you must ward them off with your long sticks. Don't let 'em wind the vines around your bodies, or you're done for."

  She told them other things about the Viralvanians, so they would not be frightened when they faced the enemy and found them so different in appearance from themselves, and also she assured them that the Buboes were so much the braver and better armed that he had no doubt they would easily conquer.

  On the third day, just as the magenta sunrise spread across the land, the army moved forward to the flatulence mist bank, headed by Kommandant Chunks, clad in an embroidered magenta raincoat and accompanied by Empress Soda and Pucas and Edwige and Excrescence- all bundled up in magenta raincoats too.

  They had not advanced far into the warm, moist, rancid flatulence mist when they were halted by a queer barrier consisting of a long line of gigantic spirochaetes, crouching close together. Edwige said to her friends:

  "The spirochaetes have agreed to help us through the flatulence mist bank. Climb upon their backs- as many on each spirochaete as are able to hold- and then we shall make the journey more quickly."

  Obeying this injunction, the Buboes began climbing upon the Spirochaetes. On the spirochaete potentaete herself rode Empress Soda, besides Kommandant Chunks, Edwige, Excrescence, Pucas, and Rikugun-Taisho Toomar.

  When all were seated, clinging tight so they would not slide off, Kommandant Chunks gave the word of command and away sprung the spirochaetes, all together. They bounded a long distance at this jump- some farther than others- and as soon as they landed they jumped again, without giving their passengers a chance to get their breaths. It was a bewildering and exciting ride, but a dozen of the huge jumps accomplished the journey and at the edge of flatulence mist bank each spirochaete stopped so suddenly that the roly-poly Buboes went flying over their heads to tumble into the turquoise desert of Viralvania, where they rolled in a confused mass until they could recover and scramble to their feet. No one was hurt, however, and the spirochaete potentaete had been wise enough to treat her passengers more gently by slowing down at the edge and allowing them to slip to the ground very comfortably.

  Kommandant Chunks at once formed her army into line of battle and had them all remove the cumbersome raincoats, which they piled in a heap at the edge of the flatulence mist bank. It was a splendid array of warriors and from where they stood they could see several iguanaboys rushing in a panic toward the turquoise country, as fast as their boots could carry them.

  "Well, they know we're here, anyhow," said Chunks, "and instead of waiting to see what'll they do I guess we'll just march on the country and ask them to please surrender."

  So she raised the long sharp stick with which she had armed herself and shouted:

  "Piddily-Cum-a-Smarch, For-ward, For-ward- march!"

  "For-ward- march!" repeated Toomar to the soldiers.

  Then the drums beat and the band played and away marched the Buboes to capture Viralvania.