While the Zika Zoster drama was transpiring in the presidential ranchion Kommandant Chunks and the Buboe army had encamped before the principal gate of Viralvania and a wigwam had been pitched for Empress Soda. President Scrumpox was annoyed because they didn’t attack. He was himself so nervous and excited that he became desperate and after an hour of tedious waiting, during which time he pranced around impatiently, he decided to take initiative and attack the hated Buboes and rid the country of them.

  "Their dreadful color makes me hysterical," he said to his soldiers, "so if I am to have any peace of mind we must charge the foe and drive them back into the mist. But take all the prisoners you can, my brave men, and tomorrow we will have a rip-snortin’ good time splicing them. Don't be afraid; those magenta dork-butts have no turquoise blood in their veins and they'll all run like scared little rabbits when they see us coming!"

  Then he ordered the gate thrown open and immediately the Viralvanians poured out into the desert a-hootin’ and a-hollarin’ and waving their veiny vein whips and began to run toward the Buboes. The president went out, too, flanked by Sheriff Chancroid, but they kept well behind his people, remembering the sharp sticks with which the enemy were armed.

  Kommandant Chunks was alert and had told her army what to do in case of an attack. The Buboes did not run like scared little rabbits, but formed a solid line with their long, sharp sticks pointed directly toward the Viralvanians, the other ends being set firmly upon the ground. Of course the Viralvanians couldn't run against these sharp points, so they halted a few feet away and began to swing their veiny vines- some with big hard dried boogers stuck to their tips. But the Buboes were too close together to be caught in this manner, and now by command of Chunks they suddenly rose to their feet and began jabbing their sticks at the foe. The Viralvanians hesitated until a few got pricked and began to yell with terror, then the whole of Scrumpox's attacking party turned and ran back to the gate, their president and sheriff reaching it first of all. The Buboes tried to chase them, but their short, fat legs were no match for the long, thin, ostrich-like legs of the Viralvanians, who quickly gained the gate and shut themselves up in their country again.

  "It is evident," panted President Scrumpox, facing his defeated citizens wrathfully, "that you are a pack of lily-livered cowards!"

  "We but followed your own example in running," replied the Sheriff Chancroid.

  "I merely ran back to get a drink of sarsaparilla, for I was thirsty," declared Scrumpox.

  "So did we! So did we!" cried the other Viralvanians, eagerly. "We were all thirsty."

  "Sir," remarked the sheriff, respectfully, "it occurs to me that the weapons of the Buboes are superior to our own. What we need, in order to oppose them successfully, is a number of prickers which are longer than their own."

  "True- true!" exclaimed the president, enthusiastically. "Get to work at once and make yourselves LONGER prickers, and then we will attack the enemy again."

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  So the iguanaboys and other citizens all set to work preparing long sharp sticks, and while they were doing this back at the camp Excrescence had a vision in which she saw exactly what was going on inside the walls. Empress Soda and Kommandant Chunks and Edwige and Pucas saw the vision, too, for they were all in the wigwam together, and the sight made them anxious.

  "What can be done?" asked Soda. "The Viralvanians are bigger and stronger than the Buboes, and if they have sharp sticks which are longer than ours they will surely defeat us."

  "I have one thaumaturgic charm," said Excrescence, thoughtfully, "that will save our army; but I can only work only one charm about every three days- not oftener. It drains my life-pudding."

  "It strikes me," returned Edwige, "that what we need most on this expedition is to capture Viralvania, so I say go ahead and charm away.”

  "Very well," replied Excrescence; "I will take your advice, Edwige, and enchant the weapons of the Buboes."

  She then went out and had all the Buboes come before her, one by one, and she enchanted their sharp sticks by throwing some alchemistical powder at them, belching twelve times and making queer passes with her hands over the prick-tips.

  "Now," she said to them, "you will be powerful enough to defeat the Viralvanians, whatever they may do."

  The Buboes were overjoyed at this promise and it made them very brave indeed, since they now believed they would surely be victorious.

  When the president's people were armed with long, thin lances of turquoise fleshwood, all sharpened to fine points at one end, they prepared to march once more against the invaders. Their sticks were twice as long as those of the Buboes and the president chuckled with glee to think what fun they would have in pricking holes in the round, fat bodies of his enemies. He wondered if they would explode or just deflate slowly.

  Out from the gate they marched very boldly and pressed on to attack the Buboes, who were drawn up in line of battle to receive them, with Kommandant Chunks at their head. When the opposing forces came together, however, and the Viralvanians pushed their points against the Buboes, the weapons which had been enchanted by Excrescence began to whirl in swift circles- so swift that the eye could scarcely follow the motion. The result was that the lances of the president's people could not touch the Buboes, but were thrust aside with violence and either broken in two or sent hurling through the air in all directions. Finding themselves so suddenly disarmed, the amazed Viralvanians turned about and ran again, while Chunks, greatly excited by the victory, shouted to her followers to pursue the enemy, and ran after them, swinging her sharp stick as she advanced.

  The Viralvanians were in such a frightened, confused mass that they got in one another's way and could not make very good progress on the retreat, so Kommandant Chunks soon caught up with them and began pricking at the crowd with her pricker. Unfortunately the Buboes had not followed their commander, being for the moment dazed by their success, so that Chunks was all alone among the Viralvanians when she caught her foot in a protogopher hole and tumbled full length, her sharp stick flying from her hand and pricking the president in the butt as it fell.

  At this the president of the Viralvanians stopped short in his flight to yell with terror, but seeing that only the chunks golem was pursuing them and that this solitary foe had tumbled flat upon the ground, he issued a command and several of his people fell upon poor Chunks, seized her in their long arms and carried her struggling into the country, where she was fast bound.

  Then a panic fell upon the Buboes at the loss of their leader, and Empress Soda, Pucas, and Edwige called out in vain for them to rescue Kommandant Chunks. By the time the army recovered their wits and prepared to obey, it was too late. And, although Empress Soda ran with them, in her eagerness to save her friend, the gate was found to be fast barred and she knew it was impossible for them to force an entrance into the country.