I had entered a supermarket and bought myself some disinfectant.To change my appearance I would require something sharp, but not deadly.

  Something easy to get but also cheap and untraceable through conventional methods.

  A shard from a broken bottle, but not any random shard.

  One that is thin and sturdy, sharp like a japanese knife to cut easily through elastic material.

  To start off, I will search through some of the back alleys, rummaging through recycling bins and grabbing the higher quality bottles to later on break in a secluded area.

  The back alleys still are rather populated so if I break the bottles here I would attract too much attention because of it's sounds.

  Using some bags and backpacks I store a dozen of bottles and head over in the outskirts of the city to break them inside an abandoned house.

  Smash, after smash I throw each bottle against a wall, covering as much space of the floor as possible with broken shards. Out of roughly 17 glass bottles I had to break each one and choose one single shard.

  I had to move carefully, the broken shards crackle beneath my feet, my hands touched tenderly each and every promising shard that I could see.

  Some were good so I had kept them. Any shard that managed to make a small cut on my finger was saved for later.

  At around 18:00 I finished the search with 3 cuts on my index finger. 3 cuts, 3 shards. All deemed worthy. But now I had to find a place where to start the process of dehumanization.

  I needed water, something private but also insignificant where I could leave some blood droplets behind and unnoticed. My idea? A club. The chaos in there is great for this kind of thing.

  So I grab my bags, hide my shards, show my ID and then pay the entrance to the club. By this time there would be a shit ton of drunk partiers.

  I had to blend in a bit, partied for my last time, groped a woman's ass for the last time, even if she wanted me, wanted to let her lust onto somebody, it didn't have to be me.

  I lost all lust, and interest in physical attraction, not even her plump ass on a thin body wouldn't make me feel a tiny bit aroused. I had already become less than human inside.

  I seeminglessly guide her to another man's arms and let the 2 humans let out their lust.

  I enter the bathroom, take out the cloth pieces First and put them inside the sink. Then I begin washing the broken shards with the disinfectant, afterall, we don't want infections.

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  The shards are ready, clean and very sharp, almost tempting me to cut my wrists instead of my initial plan. But even if I gently rub the sharpness of it against the wrist, slightly cutting my skin, my cowardice made me stop nevertheless.

  I licked, the cut on my wrist, the blood tasting different compared to when it tasted back when it was infused with the drugs and dirt. This time, the taste was bland and meaningless.

  A superficial cut, but that was enough to prove it's gonna be reliable.

  With everything now prepared, I look at the human body that I had possessed for the very last time before I leave it behind without it's future that was supposed to be mine, but now becomes of something else.

  I grab my lip from the inside and pull it outwards, stretching it in the process.

  It had to be done so it would lose it's elasticity and become easier to cut.

  About 2 cms above my lips I gently press the shard from outside into the skin, trying to penetrate it gently, my cowardice was leading me into a slow pace.

  It is painful, maybe even eye watering painful, but a monster isn't allowed to have pity, and so he isn't allowed to cry and deceive the ones around him.

  If the piercing action barely left and drops of blood on my outerskin, the moment it went through and almost touching my gum, the blood began dropping rapidly from the shard.

  It landed on the cloth piece I prepared, slowly enveiling it's once greenish color into a dark red.

  I got used to the pain, and now, have started to rotate the shard to drill the hole and widen it.

  From this point on all that was left was to cut across my lips to remove chunks of skin and lips to expose my gum and teeth. I slowly move the shard across in a horizontal direction, slicing through the upper skin sloppily and making a huge chunk to fall down off my face.

  It fell onto the cloth piece, may I say it's disgusting simply because it's my skin that fell off.

  I cut off my skin from the top lips, leaving me with a curtain of blood flowing into my mouth and dirtying my lower teeth with it's red color.

  I swallowed my own blood multiple times. Now, it was time to cut the lower half.

  Exposing the red teeth from my jaw took the same actions, the same technique and the same pain lacking of whimpers or tears.

  It took courage, and cowardice at the same time. The cowardice of not killing myself, and the courage of on giving up my humanity.

  Men and women pass by me, quickly bypassing me and locking themselves in the bathroom stalls to moan and whimper as they fuck all night.

  The sound of them brainlessly having sex was reassuring, I now knew none can notice me devouring my face off it's human side.

  After I finish, my teeth and gum were visible without any lips covering them. The human side of us showing emotion through our mouth expressions was gone. All that was left were empty eyes and unreadable teeth.

  Before I go I had to do something painful for one last time. I had to disinfect my teeth using the alcohol based disinfectant from before to prevent infections.

  Pouring the liquid into my palms and slap it onto my teeth and gum, the sting of it painful and burning. Every time I spread it the worse it gets, my eyes would slowly become teary and my gum swollen and irritated by the liquid.

  By this point my parents should be worried and probably might declare me as missing. I had left my humanity behind, together with all that was of me in the past. I would even pronounce myself dead as I killed the one known as "Roderick Karmish." And became nameless through and through.

  It was painful and exasperating, but for me to free the world from my existence, I think that it's worth it.

  My mouth is still stinging but I had to go away and move far away from here, while not being further away from my own reality.

  I would need to cut my hair as well later on, but for today, this is enough.

  I put my mask on my face to cover the mutilation and throw away the rags dirtied by my own disgusting blood.

  I had succeeded.

  I have become a monster.