As I regain consciousness, a dull ache throbs throughout my body. 'Literally every inch of me aches - like when you do very strenuous exercise, and muscles you didn't know you had ache? Yeah, take all of those unknown muscles and add in a pinch of a few more just for funsies, and that about sums up how I feel right now.' As I become conscious of this fact, I realize I am lying on my back, and a cold feeling of wetness lies against practically all my skin. Starting slightly, I quickly force myself up into a sitting position, letting out a pained groan as I do so. Opening my eyes, I flinch slightly at the dim light emitted from the ceiling lights. 'As I said, I'm not a morning person. My eyes do not adapt well to sudden changes in lighting - and that does not help getting up in a morning, let me tell ya.'

  Looking around with squinted eyes, I have a sudden, disgusting revelation of what the cold 'wetness' I was feeling before is. The floor is covered with ankle deep sewage water - even complete with floating logs, and not of the wooden variety. As I contemplate my surroundings, the second notice - or blue screen - appears in my vision.

  *Ding!*

  '...'

  'REALLY. REALLY NOW. Huh, so reality really has gone to 'shit' - I was thinking it was just my reality that had. So, it looks like we are in some sort of game-system-based reality now.'

  'Status!'

  'Inventory!'

  'Okay then. Some features still work. In a dungeon, especially, having something like an inventory feature will be very useful.' I look up once again, and remember that I'm sitting in a sea of shit. Hurriedly standing up once again, a slew of 'Ding' s and notice screens appear in my vision

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  'Phew, that was a few tables. Was not expecting that. Hey, at least it seems like I got some genuinely useful benefits from all that, even if it does involve standing ankle-deep in sewer water... hey, that gives me an idea...'

  'Identify!'

  '...'

  'Is this system mocking me. Scratch that - of course it is - but does that mean it is some form of AI, or something of the sort?' Now is not the time, however to contemplate such things *shelved*. Now, let's just stop and contemplate what the fuck is going on for a minute;

  

  
1. I am now in some sort of game-like reality where I currently have to fight to survive.


  
2. I am in a dungeon.


  
3. My whole family is in another dimension *buries note*


  
4. I am probably going mentally insane.


  

  'Okayyy then... let's just ignore note 4 for now, as if it is true, then this is probably all just fiction, and the others have no impact of reality whatsoever. So, fight to survive huh... but I'm trapped in some form of toilet dungeon. What the fuck am I supposed to fight with? Logs of shit?'

  *Gurgle* *Gurgle*

  'Uhhhh, what the fuck was that?' My head snaps up, breaking me from my reverie, as a wet 'Splat!' echoes across the room. In the dim lighting, I see the deep sludge ripple outwards from one of the cubicles. As I approach, I almost trip as I kick the broken broomstick, and I grab it as some sort of weapon - for if push comes to shove. Soon, I can see a raised lump within and above the sludgy layer.

  *Identify!*

  'A slime... right, time to use game knowledge to my advantage! They are immune to physical damage, are generally made up of an acidic slime, weak to magic damage, and have a vulnerable core - which can be harmed by physical damage.' The slime continues approaching me. 'So, this spear is practically useless, right?'

  *Swish* *Splat* *Thud*

  My spear goes straight through the slime, and I back up quickly as it approaches. 'Yup, I was right... so, I can hit the core... but in this sludge that is probably never going to happen. What else do I have? Cleaning fluid, and a mop bucket... wait, slimes are made up of acid, right? And cleaning fluid is alkaline, generally. So, shouldn't that neutralize the slime, and if not kill it let me remove it's core?' I hurry back to the mop bucket, where I left the cleaning fluid, grab it and turn around. By now the slime has nearly reached me, so I take a step forward and squirt cleaning fluid onto the slime.

  'Yes! I killed the damn slime, thank god. At least I should be able to kill a few more like this.' The bottle was only half full, and that took quite a bit, so I'll have to use it sparingly. The sound of a slime emerging - not unlike the sound of a plunger being used on a toilet - once again echoes out. Except, this time, it appears as though there is more than one. 'In the room, there are five cubicles, so there should, theoretically, be five slimes here, right? I've killed one, so that leaves four. Let's hope that the next wave isn't any more than two'

  *Splat* *Splat* *Splat*

  'Oh fuck...'