The stats on my screen made no sense. Unh uh. Wasn’t real. “A Fella Called Shoe” had 10,011 views and 117 followers. What. The. Fuck? I’d just posted that comedy poem in the contest LAST NIGHT. How did so many people see it? Ping!
Curling up on the sofa, I spooned Tum Yum Gum soup from my fave Thai delivery place down my gullet hungrily. Yum. Hot, spicy, limey, and all that extra flavor. Time to see what the Discord sounds were about.
HC: CONGRATS!
Ayela: ?
HC: LOL! Tell me you’ve seen your Poetry Contest Stats!
Ayela: I’m looking at them, but it doesn’t compute!!! You’ll never guess what happened today!
HC: ??
Ayela: I was at the park with a friend, and some kids were chanting, “Fella Named Shoe, Fella Named Shoe!”
HC: LMAO! You’re overnight famous! ?? ????
Ayela: How is this even happening?
HC: Purple Road advertises the contest everywhere on stream, so new viewers see the poetry entries, and the more upvotes you get, the closer you are to the top. You’re in 19th place, Ayela.
Ayela: WHAT?!!!
HC: Link to Purple Road Poetry Contest Rankings
I couldn’t believe it, and I couldn’t stop it. I just sat there in awe smiling like a crazy person and feeling like my heart would burst. “A Fella Called Shoe” was so dumb, so stupid, so nonsensical.
And people liked it?
Why?
Ayela: Is this because of the #SpecialStreams?
HC: I’m sure it helps that Bartt was an ass to you and everyone saw it. But no, that’s not all of it, Ayela. You’re just fucking hilarious, and it’s time the world knew.
Me? I was hilarious? I mean, I cracked myself up, but I was mostly just mousy and boring, wasn’t I? Well, I did make HC Merrin LOL on a regular basis, but did stupid quips count towards overall sense-of-humor genius?
This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.
HC: I need that rope again
Ayela: what, you wanna hang yourself?
HC: unggggghhhhhh
Ayela: ?? fess up, HC
HC: wondering if this book will have a “Sexual Content” warning
Ayela: ooooooohhhh. Share. Now.
HC: LOL. Nothing to share yet. Just a lot of words. And more words. With talking. And saying things.
Ayela: What, you're a girl love smut virgin?
HC: you know about the kissing, dammit, why do you torment me?
Ayela: HAAAAAAA. Did you try writing two dudes going at it?
HC: LMAO. Gods no. Wait, have you tried that?
Ayela: shagging two dudes at once?
HC: LOL! Well, if you’re into it. . . .
Ayela: gross! I’d rather eat poo!
HC: LOL! Me too!
Ayela: see, now you’re ready to write a WLW love scene!
HC: I’m gonna try
Ayela: What’s so hard about it?
HC: there’s no hard, that’s the problem
Ayela: did you just make a cock joke?
HC: was it funny?
Ayela: my stomach hurts. I’m laughing so hard
HC: no, seriously, I have no idea what to do. I mean, I just sorta wanna smash two girls together and hope it works out
Ayela: You’ve been with at least one woman. You know what to do, HC. Smashing together IS how it works out.
HC: LOL, yeah, but
Ayela: I think you’re just a chicken
HC: 100%
Ayela: What are you afraid of? The characters or what someone else will say?
HC: the latter
Ayela: I can help you
HC: I was hoping you’d say that
Ayela: send me what you’ve got. I’ll be real, but gentle
HC: like a lover with a virgin
Ayela: oh god no
HC: So, um, on the mechanics
Ayela: oh, this’ll be good
HC: hey! you said “gentle”
Ayela: I like a good, firm embrace
HC: LOL. Well, with the lack of certain hard things
Ayela: oh, good god, man, just say “dick”
HC: LOL. I was trying to be couth
Ayela: we’re talking about writing smut, why be coy?
HC: damn, this is fucking embarrassing
Ayela: this will help you get the jitters out of your system. if you can’t say it to me, you can’t say it on stream
HC: tru that
My screen was blank, and I was starting to get worried I’d scared him off. . .
. . .
. . .
HC: sorry. had to let the dog out. okay. I don’t know anything about strap ons.
Ayela: but you are well-acquainted with cock
HC: lol. no comment.
Ayela: what’s the problem?
HC: How does one write it in a sexy way?
Ayela: skip the mechanics. go for the feelings. what does the character want? how does she feel?
HC: okay, that tracks
Ayela: have you written any sex scenes ever? hetero or gay?
HC: not really
Ayela: well, maybe start there. not something you’ll show someone else. Use a pen and paper if you want. Then you can burn it, and no one will ever see it. Write what feels comfortable. Then you can try your couple and something you’d want to send me to review.
HC: not a bad idea. okay. I’m off. I’ve got work to do. Thx. BEST BETA-READER EVER!
Ayela: Sing it with me!
HC: You’re the best! ??
Still giggling about HC, I went back to my stats, astounded. My poem'd moved up the charts by another rank to eighteen. Ten tits, that was so cool. I just sat there, refreshing the page in wonder.
Then it occurred to me to look at Moons Dancing, and oh my lord, I had 156 followers and 12,789 views. Tears rolled down my cheeks.
What if HC hadn’t told me about the Poetry Contest? What if I’d refused his invitation to enter? All of these events had stacked up like dominoes, and my book was actually going somewhere. All because I read Flopper, wrote some comments, then joined Zoe’s Discord.
Was that how people got their shit together? They just started on a project, having no idea where it would go, then things fell into place?
Well, Discord was working for me. Or at least, meeting HC Merrin was working for me, and I wasn’t gonna stop. I wanted to keep going and see just how high I could climb.
