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  When we first arrived here, I didn't know how long it would take before we'd leave for good. Maybe because I was too exhausted, I didn't pay attention as time passed. The more time goes by, the less confident I feel that we'll ever return home.

  Mom is waiting for us, I know that, but it's hard to keep believing that now. Each exhausting day ends with my head hitting the pillow, my eyes forcing themselves to stay open a few seconds longer, my mind hammering with questions I won't remember clearly by dawn—questions that'll return when I y my head down again, disappearing into a vicious cycle.

  Then it's morning again, nothing else matters. I get up and walk to the bathroom, washing my body with cold water, putting on the same white clothes as always. Now it's different from before—I've grown. We're led to cement tables and benches, I sit down, grabbing my meal tray and chewing the fvorless food.

  It's been years. Years of the same things. The only thing that's changed since the first day is that today, I turn eighteen. This is what the soldiers were waiting for—to assign all eighteen-year-olds to new roles.

  I don't know how I'll keep protecting Zane. Today I have to leave this pce, God knows where. He's only fifteen, three more years before he can join me.

  "Go get your things. The ship is ready, be back in ten minutes." One of the regur guards stared at me coldly. I'm already used to his irritable personality. I nodded in confirmation.

  I sighed, squeezing my eyes and standing up, tossed the tray in the trash and ran a hand through my hair—it's short now, since they don't let us grow it out. I got up, grabbing my things, kept the clothes from the day I arrived—the only real thing I own.

  Zane appeared, looking at me with dirt smeared on his face. He must've just finished morning training. Seeing me for a few minutes is probably the only mercy they'll give us. I wiped the grime off his face.

  — You're almost a man now.

  — What an exaggeration. I've always been a man.

  He retorted, puffing out his chest. I ruffled his buzzed hair and smiled.

  — I'm serious. It's good you're not that stinky brat anymore. Means I don't have to worry about you now that I have to leave.

  He frowned hard, and I pinched his cheek.

  — Not even a goodbye hug?

  — Don't say it like you're going to die.

  He hesitated, but hugged me tight, with all the strength a kid could muster. I squeezed him back, crushing his body against my muscles.

  — Bye, Zane.

  — Bye, Rei...

  He whispered against my ear, a barely contained sob. I pulled away and ruffled his spiky hair, smiling.

  — Take care of yourself.

  I let him go slowly, and he did the same, staring at me with those wide, devastated eyes. I turned, grabbed my things, and headed to where the warship was parked, climbing the stairs among all the new adults. I pulled the uniforms handed at the door over my tattered white clothes.

  I sat on the floor, resting my hands on my knees. The regur soldiers distributed weapons—RX-90 Orions. Standard psma pistols, shitty guns.

  I grabbed the RX-90 and adjusted it in my hand. It has two ammo feeds, two barrels. Ran my fingers over the smooth, simplistic white design. The trigger is pressure-sensitive, so I could easily fire by accident since there's no safety. I set the gun aside—we had weapon training for this model. Got an ammo pouch.

  Opened it and took a look—about six cartridges, probably eight shots each... I sighed, stuffing the ammo into the pockets of my dark military pants. Turned my eyes to the corner window—we're in the sky, flying straight to the nearest battlefield.

  I know our country is at war. The reason is beyond me... I squeezed my eyes shut, biting my lips. I need to survive. I've never shot anyone. I've never taken a life.

  My chest tightens, and I sigh. Fuck it, why worry? Eventually, it'll be routine.

  The ship kept flying for six hours, so I forced myself to sleep—it's too exhausting to stay awake. But anxiety kept me up until I finally passed out.