As I woke up this morning, I could feel that something was different. It was a strange feeling, almost like something had been taken away from me.

  It wasn't until I sat up in my bed at the inn, that I realized what it was. Something that was very important to me was gone. And as I sat there in silence, I agonized over the realization. I couldn't believe that it was gone.

  "Faye, wherever you are, you better move your ass here right now," I said with great woe, as serious as I could.

  "What is it?" She said as she appeared, as usual, out of nowhere.

  "Once again I ask you, do you know who I am?"

  "You are the mortal Cyrus, who I ward over and have been in this world for 18 years, eleven months, three days, fourteen hours, thirty-five minutes, and fifty-seven seconds."

  "That's interesting. Has there been a defining trait for that mortal? Anything so fundamental to his nature that he didn't even think about it?" I asked.

  "No."

  "Did you ever happen to notice that I was a man? With cock and balls and the whole lot?" I gestured at my crotch.

  "I hadn't noticed," she dryly replied.

  "Ha, very funny, hilarious even. Laugh if you want, go ahead, I won't be mad. But, I'm sure you saw me naked, once or twice at least, and don't feel no shame because I sure don't. You aren't the type to blush easily but have you ever sat down and wondered 'What happened to his family jewels?' Because I did, when I woke up they were mysteriously gone, alongside with the rest of my manhood."

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  As I waited for Faye to respond, I couldn't help but feel a sense of frustration. How could she not have noticed such a significant change? It was as if she wasn't paying attention to me at all. But then again, she was an otherworldly being with a mind of her own.

  "Your outer appearance has changed, yes, same as it has done for a while." She said.

  "Usually, it’s only appearance, not sex."

  "It is the same as it has been. The customization changed at random. It was only a matter of time."

  I took a deep breath and tried to see the upsides of my new 'condition'. At least I was cute, or that's what I thought. I posed for Faye in a cutesy way and asked her if she thought I was.

  But she replied, "You are as any other human, an inconvenience."

  "You're just jealous."

  I looked at Faye again and examined her chest then compared it to mine; mine was clearly bigger, "at least I'm not as flat as you are."

  If she had the ability to pout, this would have been the perfect moment for it.

  I examined myself in the mirror more clearly. I was tall, athletic, and had raven hair.

  I could have ended up a lot worse, though-

  But then I started to worry. How was I going to enter the tournament looking like this?

  I sat down to think. I also pulled Faye down from the air to sit on the bed with me.

  I looked into her eyes, which seemed to pierce right through me, and asked her, "what the hell am I going to do? You're a living, breathing- well, I don't actually know if you breathe- anyway, wikipedia of this world. This is kind of your fault so, please, find an answer for me.

  "I cannot directly tell you what to do, but there is a singular person in the city who looked exactly like your previous incarnation. You can do what you want with this information."

  "Oh really? ...Interesting," I grinned maliciously as I realized what I was going to do.