Chapter 32: Bck Lace, Silky StrapsIt’s hard to judge how profound an effect the beautis had on me. I’m not sure, but after that moment staring at dy’s refle I started to give up. Agreeing to K’s crazy scheme was ohing, but actually disc I could be made to appear like a girl--a real girl, a hot girl--was really pying havoy self esteem, you know? Especially sin one level . . . well, hell yeah, I actually felt some pride in how sexy dy looked.

  So after the girls left I spent an hour sitting numbly at the edge of my bed, shaking slightly, fighting down the urge to throw up. My headache slowly faded. The refle opposite openly mocked my male ego. Uanding how both K and the ic were systematically breaking down my mase self-image, even knowing that it was for my own good, didn’t make it any less painful. Once I recovered from my small mental breakdown, though, something ued happened: with an almost audible ‘click’ something in my head flipped and I figured, ‘fuck it’. I decided that there was no way I was going to spend the few weeks in a state of stant misery.

  With renewed enthusiasm I took to my stog feet only to remember that I didn’t actually have anything to do. I couldn’t leave room Cos 402 on at of my throat and doctor’s orders. The s on the wall was set to only receive a few els and no news from the outside world--I couldn’t even check up on fug Steele’s trial.

  I had no choibsp; Uhe threat of extreme boredom and with nothing else to do, I started to perfect the whole femi. I began by reading some of the teenage fashion articles and young adult books K had left behind loaded oablet, and very sciously tried to do so in as girly a ossible, curled up on the sofa with my legs tucked up beh my ass, unsciously stroking my hair as I perused the articles.

  Eventually I drifted into the bathroom and practiced my makeup skills and all that other shit, theantly slipped into some low heels and pranced bad forth for a bit. I kept them on for the rest of the night--I was almost surprised at how quickly the night came, once I got serious about my training--and finally settled in for food and a movie.

  I whipped up a quick meal with what I found i, and finally kicked ba the sofa with a gss of white wine. I watched the best thing I found in the media sele, some apocalyptiance from a few years ago. The whole time I felt acutely aware of the image I must have presented: young blonde on sofa with gss of wine. I absently fidgeted with my hair or bra and lost myself in the movie, and in that movie I saw fshes of myself. Focused on the female lead, I couldn’t help but appreciate her choice of clothing, the shoes and skirts and hair and makeup, in a new way. She was hot, sure, but in the iable se between male and female leads, with her decked out in sexy bck lingerie… Well; I couldn’t help but wonder how I’d look in the same frothy fe of bck ce, silky straps and bows.

  Before I k, it turned one AM, I was yawning, and I’d survived my first day alone as dy. A little drunk from two bottles of Chablis, I lifted myself from the sofa auro my bedroom. I went through the nightly routine again, ing up and slipping bato the corset and brushing my new long hair. Thinking back over my day, I realized that it hadn’t been all that bad. Yeah, a bit freaky at the beginning, and the middle part was kind of emasg . . . but hell, it beat hiding out in some shithole waiting for some bastard to pop a bullet into the bay head.

  That’s probably when I started to rex--to really rex, for the first time in far too long. After fiddling with the media trols set into the headboard of the bed--setting an arm, adjusting the heat in the room and putting some chilled tunes on a timer--I pulled on that same babydoll I wore my first night as dy and slipped into bed. Within a few minutes of hitting bed I was asleep, warm and fortable and surrounded by music.

  Author's Notes:

  If you're impatient to read on, you find ter chapters at FM S. You also find everything avaible on Patreon: patreon./fakeminsk, as well as fanart and a few side projects.

  And of course, ents and feedback are always appreciated!