I blinked as I stared at him, some deep primal part of me kly who, exactly what he was. This made the idea that he might be upset with me absolutely terrifying. “I’m sorry, I kind of did. Amnesia. A goddess-”

  He ughed and spped his knee. “Oh calm yourself friend, I know what happened. I see a good bit more thahe gods .” He stepped over to a nearby stone bench (which seemed very odd that it was just sitting there with no ns of anything man-made nearby) and sat with a low grunt. He patted the benext to him. “e on, sit. You never got to finish telling me about your friend. Not that you remember anymore. Vei’Ryn and her partners really did a number on you. I’d be upset, but I uand the desperation to survive.”

  I pulled myself up and realized I could feel the ground under both of my feet. “What, but even in the Dream-”

  “The Dream is a refle of the minds of those dreaming. This is just your soul, and it doesn’t lose parts. Not like that at least.” He patted the seat again and I walked over, sitting dowo him. A few moments of silence passed as he looked me over before he spoke again “You certainly look different. Of course, I suppose that’s to be expected.”

  “Well, my Goddess did make me her champion.” I shrugged.

  “Oh that isn’t what I meant, but you’ll figure that out as you get stronger.” He reached over and patted my head softly. It felt as if he were my grandpa and I was a little kid just spending time with him. “You had me scared for a bit. A little piece of you drifted down here, I was worried one of the hounds had gotten to you before you fully returo the living.”

  I stared out at the water for a few moments, this whole situation was surreal. I could make out movement oer and when I peered out, I realized there were more boats like his everywhere I looked. Hundreds, maybe thousands, millions? Somehow I could see farther than I should have been able to and all up and down the length of the river were… him. On boats, ferrying people across.

  “You’re busy today.” I said, not thinking of anything else.

  “I’m always busy. More worlds than be ted ah happening on them all. Well, at least all the ohat still have living.”

  “Am I…?” I couldn’t even ask, the idea bled into my mind and I felt like I might cry. It wasn’t fair, I was happy, I have lovers, friends, a home. I had a Goddess to serve and save.

  “Oh, no no no. I mean yes, for the moment. But I’ll send you back up just fine soon enough. No side effects, lingering sequences, so on. It should be only a few moments on that side no matter how much time passes here.” He chuckled, “And to ahe one, I wao che you. I have very few friends, and the idea you had e to harm in a way that would prevent us meeting again was troubling.”

  I took a deep breath and rexed, thehe hought out. “How did I make friends with you?”

  He grinned and nodded happily. “The right question. You see Esme— it is Esme now correct?” I nodded. “Ah good. You see Esme, I get all types down here, literally. But there are two overall groups that stand out. Both are ohat aren’t upset upon arriving to me. The first and more ohe very old who feel their lives fulfilled and thus don’t mind that it’s over. They are just curious to see what happens after. Thehers, the kind like you. The kind who died young, but are simply gd it’s over. Those whose short lives were simply so painful that the end was a relief.”

  Well, that… holy sounded abht I think. “That’s depressing.”

  “True. Even I still feel grief for those like you. But you? You didn’t let me. You were one of the rarest versions. The ones who celebrate not the end, but the idea of the path. You were so filled with thankful joy that you hugged me when you realized where you were. Then started apologizing for not having anything but… well, what you thought were the wrong kinds of s. No coppers for the ferryman. Not that I hem, that’s just an old tale. But I do appreciate those who give thanks for my work.”

  “I was happy to be dead aed for whatever came ? That’s it?” I raised a brow and he chuckled.

  “Oh no, no you wao py a game with me. Another old tale that isn’t true, but you didn’t care about winning your life back. You just felt bad that people didn’t py games with me just for fun. Though I still say you cheat at cards.” He ughed and it felt like life. Like the bright moments of joy that remind you that you’re alive and that beating in your chest is something to cherish. His ughter felt like a celebration of life itself.

  “We hung out, pying games and talking?” I smiled and my mind slipped out a small memory, the two of us pying a game with an overly plex traption that would drop a cage onto tiny simple carvings of painted mice. It looked fun, like we were just having fun. “Mouse trap? There was a game with a mouse trap. Strange. Oh! Charon! That’s your name, right?”

  He smiled and nodded, “One of many, ahat game was some of the most fun I’ve had iuries.”

  I ughed a my lips spread into a wide smile. “Yeah, it was fun. I think it was the most fun I’d had too.” Then tears fell down my face. “You know, it’s strange. My memories don’t always make sense. Sometimes they have details that seem wrong. People that should. Words I don’t remember the meaning to. But the feelings, the feelings are always so…” I sniffled and he reached over and gave me a small hug.

  “It will get worse before it gets better. But I promise you it will get better so long as you keep growing before you get sent back here again.” Theook a deep breath a out a sigh. He reached into a pouch hanging from his shoulder and pulled out a shimmering sliver of light. “This is a part of you that escaped. I got it and several more and put them all together. This is why your soul is tained in a barrier, what they did was causing pieces to shed themselves off of you. It was an act, ohey are desperately trying to fix, but you are the ohat must live with the sequences.”

  He held out the sliver of my soul and I reached up to it. As soon as I touched it, it was drawn into me and I felt a few memories returning.

  It’s cold. The winter is settling in and the only shelters that are actually safe to use are full. But Grandma Betty says I sleep at her pce. It’s just a box, but it’s right o a grate that blows out warm air every fifteen minutes. Between that and having each other’s body heat we should make it just fine. But I bet I steal us a better b before it gets much worse.

  I look out of the window from my chair, it’s old, creaks, and I’ve repced two legs but it’s miendri’s chair is the same. So is all of our furniture. But hey, it has character and it’s cheap, especially the stuff we salvaged from the dump. There is a pte of food oable waiting for her whes home. I always eat first, before she gets off of work, so she doesn’t see that my pte is all the food that’s starting to go bad. She’d worry. But she’s the oh a real job, she ’t afford to get sick. The most I do is let that disgusting little Lord use me. I hate it but it got Tendri work with the scribe at city hall. As long as she’s doing well, it doesn’t matter what happens to me.

  She left me! Fug bitch just dumped me to go run off with her new girlfriend because her band is going on tour and she gets to sleep in their bus with them! What the hell happeo forever, huh!? What happeo growing old together!? Fuck. Betty is trying to e but I feel like my heart’s been ripped out.

  Tendri is mad, yelling at me as she cries and rubs alcohol on the ied y back. Saying I should have told her when I got it, she could have ed it properly then a it from getting so bad. I couldn’t tell her I got it beating an older boy senseless after he tried to steal the parts I’d salvaged. I hem to fix the radiator, I could hahe cold but it always bothered her. I had to win the fight no matter how badly I got hurt. I could take the pain anyway. For her I could deal with anything.

  I shuddered and gasped for air, even knowing I didn’t really have lungs right then. “Wh-what the fuck, what, I don’t-”

  “Shh, shh, it’s alright Esme. It will make sense in time.” He stroked my back softly and I felt myself lean against him. “Friend. When you uand, you will be tempted to be angry. Rightfully so in fact. But I implore you to remember this. I know they meant well. I know they tried to do things right. They made mistakes born of fear and desperation and you are the one suffering for them. But they do care and want to help you.”

  “Wh-why are you tellihis?” I shuddered, my mi reeling with things that make so little sense.

  He gave me a soft, sad smile. “Because one day I will see you again for the st time. I don’t want that to be for many, many years. You are my friend. So you must be stronger and hold to those who help give you strength, even if they harmed you in doing so.”

  I nodded, more or less uanding. “Thank you.” I hugged him tight. “ime we meet, maybe I’ll remember my friend enough to tell you about them?”

  He smiled, “I look forward to that. Though hopefully not for a long, long time. Now, it’s about time you got back to your body. I imagine your lover and your friend are someset at the moment. Do give them both my apologies.” He bowed his head softly. “Oh, and whe you speak to yoddess tell her to introduce her parto you already, just because it would be difficult doesn’t meas to keep you in the dark about them.” He wi me. “I’ll see you again one day friend. Maybe more than once before the st time. But make no assumptions friend, live well and fully. Bring me ories to listen to as we cross the river together.”

  Before I could say anything I was very suddenly streaking skyward. I had a moment of vertigo before I sat up gasping for air on the exam room table and trembling.

  “ESME! Oh thank the gods!” Carmil’s voice called from within me. “I got your heart beating again but you wouldn’t wake up.”

  Tulip looked pale as she carefully set down an emergency first aid kit. “Oh thank the gods.” She muttered, “But i, Carmil, you tell what happened yet?”

  [No, everything is pletely normal ahy. I have no idea what happened.]

  “Um, I do.” I said softly. “e on out, beloved. I’m fine, I promise.” I took a slow breath and calmed my shaking.

  Carmil hesitated before ref o the table. “Alright, do not keep us waiting then.”

  I took a breath “A friend called me to go see him, he found out something and wao make sure I was okay. Oh, uh, he also wanted me to apologize to you both for sg you.”

  “A… friend? What friend could just stop your heart and, and ull you out of your body?” Tulip was clearly trying to stay calm and not doing so well.

  “The Ferryman, Charon.” The room was dead silent, slight pun intended. No one said anything for far too long, so I spoke again. “So I kind of, died, a while back? Then got better? And I met him between those two moments a along really well. I sound pletely insane right now don’t I?”

  “Were it any but you I would think so. But with what I know of you, of our patron, I fully believe it.” Carmil leaned in and kissed my softly.

  Tulip shook her head and spped her cheeks. “Okay, alright, you… you got killed for about thirty seds because Death wao check up on you?”

  I shook my head. “He’s not death, he just takes the dead across the river. At least from what I remember and uand. Which, Mind Shatter, so not a lot. But what I said still feels right. But to simplify, yes. He uh, found piey soul and was worried something had happened. No I don’t uand that either.”

  Right about then a team of doctors and nurses rushed in, apparently the prof had hit some medical emergency button when my heart stopped. Which, you know, that’s generally a good move. I didn’t feel like expining my friendship to a bunch of strangers so I just let them examine me and make sure I was okay for half an hour.

  Absolute professionals, never questioned Carmil’s and my nudity until it was obvious I wasn’t in any immediate dahen the simple words ‘Path folk’ were like a magic spell that made them all just nod and stop staring, or at least stop staring in worry. I still got stared at for other reasons until they left.

  I spent another couple of hours there gettied, answering questions, and helping calm Tulip down. But eventually she did all she could without going over data and readying some experiments. At least all she could do until Carmil let the Professor examine her and that would be after our double date. So Carmil hopped bato me, I got dressed, and I made my way home.

  Once ba the yurt I enjoyed a meal with my tribe and then ked out early. I guess being dead for a bit was more tiring than I would have thought. Dekarru looked at me funny but didn’t ask anything, I guessed I looked as tired as I felt and she was just going to let me sleep.

  Good thing to because I had time to pull a b over me before I was floating in the Dream again. I immediately knew I was dreaming, there was no moment of dreaming fusion. I’d have to check my status when I woke up but I retty sure Dream Touched ranked up. I was able to find a thread that felt familiar within moments and followed it quickly to my nightmare eati friend and give her a huge hug. Especially because she was mung on that same nightmare from that Uvtrayl officer I’d entered when Daisy and I first met. I offered the fused woman another smile and wave before Daisy and I ran off.

  Daisy and I explored a cave full of glowing moss and bugs that were cooler than they were gross. But not for long, as I had a mission tonight. “Okay Daisy, let me lead this time and we’ll see how good I’m doing. But keep an eye on me and tell me if I’m messing up, okay?” She gave me a crisp salute with her trunk and wiggled excitedly.

  That night I would try and find my Goddess myself.