Roses are red

  And so am I

  Please Love me!

  §

  There are so many fish in the sea

  So far I've been allergic to all but three

  §

  These feelings I keep hidden

  But not very well

  But to say them out loud

  Makes me want to throw myself down a well

  §

  Like the sun doth rise

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  When I see you

  So too do I

  §

  You are like a field of flowers in spring

  So beautiful to look at

  But weird you're covered in bees

  §

  The warning of sirens I once did hear

  I took up the mission to search far and near

  The tale that was told did seem quite queer

  You row the boat while I steer

  No matter where we go, the sea looks clear

  Until a little bird found me at my pier

  "Stop looking!" it said

  "Please you must hear"

  What it said then brought to my eyes that old familiar tear

  "Your face they did see, so they swam away in fear!"

  §

  Give unto me your love, so sweet

  Oh, what the hell! Put away your meat!

  §

  She called me sweet and silly

  Upon my arm all night she held

  Until the moment came we went to bed

  The last I saw, she was laughing at my willy

  §

  Deep in the forest there lay a carving long unseen

  Don't go looking, its phallic and obscene