“I got that delivery you asked for, remember?” said Rob, standing in front of the crab holding a small wooden crate full of bottles.

  Balthazar stared at the courier with his jaw dropped, his frown expressing utter fusion.

  “I literally teleported to this pot even ten minutes ago from across the whole ti! How in the name of meringue did you find me?!”

  The mustached adventurer simply shrugged. “Dunno. I just deliver things where I’m told.”

  “Where you’re… By whom? By what? How?!” the bewildered crusta excimed, throwing his pincers up.

  Rob rolled his eyes. “Look, you want the stuff or not? I got other pces to be, other deliveries to make.”

  “You do? Because it’s holy starting to feel like I’m your only t…” Balthazar pihe space between his eyestalks a out a resigned sigh. “It’s been a long, chaotic day. I don’t really have time for this argument anyway. Just… give me those.”

  “Alright, here you go,” the courier said, putting the crate of bottles down in front of the crab. “Special delivery of pond water, as you requested.”

  “Potions of Hydration, if you don’t mind, thank you very much,” said the mert.

  “Sure, sure, whatever you say,” the former thief said. “What do you want these for anyway?”

  “Why, for selling, of course. I am still a mert after all.”

  “They’re bottles of water,” the human said. “Who would want to buy these?”

  Balthazar smirked as he began st the bottles in his bottomless backpack. “That’s where I work my mert magic, my mustached friend. Silly adventurers don’t know what they really want or need until I make them see it.”

  Rob scowled as he crossed his arms. “You do remember I’m an adveht?”

  “Yep!” the crab nontly said without taking his eyes off the bottles he was moving.

  “Anyway, I should head off now,” said the courier. “Yuys bae say hello, by the way. And they ask when you will be back.”

  The traveling mert raised his gaze to the adventurer. “Soon, hopefully! Tell them I’m really close to finding a way to repair Bouldy.” He paused, thinking for a moment. “You travel a lot, have you heard anything about the red dragon? Any sightings of it?”

  “Nah, nothing,” Rob replied. “People were on edge for a while, but things are starting to calm down now that it’s been a couple of months without any more dragon sightings. Maybe it went into hibernation?”

  “I kinda hope not,” Balthazar said as he put the backpack ba. “By the way, have you seen Rye around somewhere?”

  “The archer boy? Nope. Why? I thought he was traveling with you.”

  The crab let out a quiet sigh. “Yes, he was, for a while. We… split up a while back. I hope he’s doing alright. If you see him, let him know I found a way t Bouldy back, will you?”

  Rob gave the crab a quick goodbye salute. “Sure thing, big crab. I’ll be going now, before it gets dark. See ya!”

  “Alright,” Balthazar said, gng down at his backpack’s straps as he adjusted them. “Safe travels and—”

  He moved eyestalks back up, but the courier had already disappeared.

  “…and he’s already gone.”

  Shaking his shell, the mert pced both cws on the sides of his shell and looked back at his panions.

  “Well, this has been one hell of a day, hasn’t it?”

  Druma shook his head vigorously, as always. Blue simply stared impassively, as usual.

  The crab looked up at the sky and the setting sun on the horizon.

  As eager as he was to get to that fe across the valley below them, he khere were risks in rushing it. He had e so far already, a few more hours wouldn’t hurt. They all needed rest after the crazy day the crab and his friends had. And navigating a dense, unknown forest in the middle of the night would be just asking for trouble.

  “Alright! Let’s set up camp a here for the night,” Balthazar said to his panions. “Tomorrow we head down to the Golem Fe and bring our Bouldy back!”

  Druma cpped enthusiastically befetting to work starting a small campfire, and the crab could swear even Blue had given him a subtle nod of approval.

  After a while, uhe moonless night sky and the fire’s warm glow, the crab sat down going through his backpack as his assistant and his drake slowly drifted off to sleep.

  Rummaging with his pincer, Balthazar finally found what he was looking for—a slice of a few days’ old pie.

  Ah, a little snack before sleep is just what I needed…

  Just as he was about to bite down on the pastry, his eyes nded on his bag again and he paused.

  Reag inside again, the crab retrieved his new monocle and put it on, amazed once again at how easily it automatically adapted itself to his unique anatomy.

  Looking down, he ied his backpack again to read the sed special effect the wizard had helped him uncover.

  [Once a day, you may reato the backpack to find a em has appeared ihe item’s usefulness may be questio never fully random.]

  Hmm, I wonder how useful this could be…

  He looked up at the cloudy sky as a windchill blew past the clearing in front of the cave.

  Well, the day is almost over. Maybe I should do a little testing…

  With his toig out of the er of his mouth, Balthazar reached ihe pack with his whole arm, rummaging and feeling for something that even he didly know yet.

  e on, e on… Give me something useful…

  He stopped as his pincer suddenly grabbed somethiallic.

  “Oh!”

  Excited, the crab pulled his arm out of the bag to see what item had appeared in his backpack.

  Held between his pincers was a fork, old and with signs of years of use, with a bit of rust between its tines.

  “Are you kidding me?!” the mert muttered, not wanting to wake his friends up. “What is the point of this?”

  His frownialks moved from the fork down to the piece of pie he was about to eat before.

  “Oh, e on…” he said, rolling his eyes. “How is that really useful? I don’t even have hands to use cutlery!”

  Ahe crab tossed the rusty fork behind his shell, deeming it too worthless to even sell.

  “Stupid system…” Balthazar mumbled as he stuffed his mouth full of pie using his pincers, like nature intended.

  It was stale and slightly hard to chew, but it hit the spot heless. After his snack, the crab leaned back against his backpack, watg the swaying treetops as he let the warmth of the fire soothe his tired body.

  Good time as any to do this, I guess…

  Flig his eyestalks, the crab brought the level-up s into his view.

  [You have reached level 23]

  [Choose a base stat to increase by 10]

  [Health: 230/230]

  [Stamina: 30/30]

  [Mana: 30/30]

  Bah, no overthinking this time. Just give me more health!

  [Health: 240/240]

  With a yawn, Balthazar moved to the s.

  [You have 3 u attribute points]

  [Attributes:]

  [Strength: 5]

  [Endurance: 5]

  [Agility: 5]

  [Perception: 5]

  [Intellect: 20]

  [Charisma: 63]

  I’m doh Intellect for now, screw that. I could dth to meet the requirements fa Pinch, but now that I got that skill from Tweedus that lets me bypass that once a day… Maybe I won’t bother. How many times in a day would I o pineone super hard anyway?

  Struggling to keep his eyestalks up, the crab simply dumped his three points into the old trusty Charisma as usual and dismissed the system s, letting himself fall asleep o the crag campfire right after.

  ***

  The m, Balthazar woke up to a thin yer of hoar frost c his shell. Autumn would soon be over, and winter was already making itself felt in the early hours of the day.

  Thankfully for the mert, crabs are cold-blooded creatures, so all the chilly weather did to him was make him feel zier, slightly less hungry, and give him an irrational urge to bury himself into the ground.

  Uhose warm-blooded creatures with their stant internal temperatures, shivers, and frostbites s. Like his goblin assistant a few paces away.

  Snuggled up against Blue to stay warm.

  So sad, how he o feed off her magical warmth.

  Made the crab feel pity for him.

  Poor thing, all nid cozy between her wings.

  Not like Balthazar, who would never o embarrass himself like that in order to survive.

  Feeling great for being such a superior species and without a hint of envy in him at all, the crab stood up and shook the frost off his back as loudly as he could.

  The sound of the thin ice shattering and falling to the ground made the goblin open his eyes, looking around groggy and disoriented.

  “Oh, did I wake you?” the mert said offhandedly. “My bad, didn’t notice you were still sleeping there.”

  After some m stretg and a few bites of mango pie to sweeten his mood, the crab and his party set out to the fe on the side of the mountain across the valley below.

  Walking down the narrow path from the hill they were on, the three travelers ehe forest as the timid autumn sun began shining through the sparse leaves and branches above.

  The woods were quiet, with little chattering from the wildlife, save for the occasional rabbit or squirrel skittering away between the fallen leaves as they felt the approag stomping of the giant crab.

  Balthazar was happy to find backs on his path. For o seemed like he would finally reach his objective without any distras or detours.

  Halfway through the forest, the group arrived on the side of a dirt road that split the valley in two.

  With the mountain being oher side of the woods, the road was of no use to them.

  The mert looked east up the road and the where it went. Nobody in sight.

  Excellent! Nothing to get in the way.

  With a shrug and a step forward, the crab started crossing the road.

  Halfway across, his bristles stood up as he heard the unmistakable sound of g metal armor that could only meahing: adventurers.

  “Noble crab!” a boastful voice called.

  Oh, for the love of pie…

  Dropping his arms, the exasperated crusta turo face the ining nuisance.

  “Sorry, too busy to sell you callus oi right now! Please e visit us at our establishment near Ardville ter. Good day!”

  “Please, dear crab,” the adventurer excimed. “I seek thee not for thy wares, but t thee gd tidings!”

  The mert stared at the human with a cocked eyestalk. “What?!”

  “Good news,” the adventurer said. “I’m saying I bring you good news, friend.”

  By the sound of her voice, it seemed she was a young woman, which was otherwise impossible to dis beh the bulk of her heavy pte armor. She moved down the road toward the crab with the awkward waddle of someone who was clearly wearing far too much pte.

  Balthazar usually had trouble remembering human faces—which was not really a factor here, as the adventurer wore a full-face helmet with only two narrow slits for the eyes—but something about this o vaguely familiar.

  “Do I… know you?” he hesitantly asked.

  “Why, of course!” the knight excimed, stopping in front of the crab. “It is I, Hah, noble knight padin! We have met before, when you se on a most noble of quests to save your friend!”

  The mert’s eyes widened as he finally remembered where he had seen that bucket head before. She was one of the adventurers Balthazar had inquired about the Frostshade petals when Druma fell ill due to a wolf’s bite.

  “That was ba the middle of st summer!” the crab excimed.

  “Goodness me, time sure does fly!” the padin said with a boastful ugh. “My apologies for the dey. I have been mighty busy with other errands.”

  “Yeah, pretty easy to get sidetracked when doing quests, I know,” muttered the traveling mert.

  “heless, fear not, for I have returned with the cure for your friend’s ailment!” she announced loudly and proudly, before awkwardly bendied arm to reach the pou the back of her belt. “The Frostshade petals you requested!”

  Held in her gloved hand was a small blue flower, wilted and missing most of its petals.

  “That’s a on blue mountain flower,” Balthazar said, doing his utmost not to let his eyestalks roll to the back of his shell.

  “It is?!” the surprised adventurer said, bringing the old flower in front of her helmet’s eye slits.

  “Not that it matters,” said the crab. “It’s been months! What made you think I’d still hem now?!”

  “You do not?” Hah said in a quieter tone. “My deepest dolences for the loss of your friend.”

  The baffled mert looked at the adventurer as she held her fist against her pted chest in a salute, the poor little remnant of a flower still in her grasp.

  “What? No! My friend is fine. I got the petals and cured him months ago!”

  “Oh! Happy days! All's well that ends well then!”

  The crab and the knight stood still for an awkward moment, her one saying a thing.

  “So…” Hah finally mumbled, idly kig a pebble from the road.

  “So… what?” said Balthazar.

  “I guess that cludes my quest… right?”

  “Oh, no way! Uh-uh, I’m not paying you a single ,” the mert excimed, shaking his pincer. “You came bae months ter and without even bringing the right item!”

  The padin stood very straight—or as straight as her limited posture allowed.

  “Perfectly uandable! I make no cim to any moary payment. But… could I perhaps still ask to have this quest be pleted, my good crab?”

  Balthazar squinted his eyes at the adventurer with suspi. “Why should I care about that? In fact, why would you care?”

  Hah dropped her shoulders and sighed as if letting go of a great weight.

  “Look, mate,” she said, dropping the bombastie of voice. “I’m just trying to clear out my backlog of quests, alright? This thing goes back months, and I’ve been traveling all over trying to plete every little thing I’ve taken on, but for every one I plete I seem to take on three or four new ones. Seriously, I ’t seem to stop myself. Just earlier I started a new quest to find a bloody purple chi, f out loud!”

  The crab gred at the human with an unfortable expression. In the past, he would have cared little for her plight, but after his travels, Balthazar found himself uo not rete to her problem, even if just a tiny bit.

  “e on,” said Hah. “Help a girl out, will you? I don’t even need you to give me any rewards. Just tell me my quest is plete so I cross this off my list and I’ll be out of your… bristles.”

  Balthazar sighed and rolled his eyestalks.

  “Fine. But only so you’ll leave me alone!”

  “Great!” excimed the young woman.

  “Well done, adventurer, yada yada yada, your quest is plete,” the mert said with a groan. “Now get lost.”

  “Many thanks, good sir!” the padin procimed, returning to the loud and boastful voice, much to the crab’s chagrin. “I shall return to my journey now, tent in knowing that another fine inhabitant of Heartha has been aided by the gods through this loyal vessel!”

  “Freaking role-pyers…” Balthazar muttered under his breath.

  “Safe travels to you,” Hah said. “And do keep a for dangers! I have heard talk of goblins being sighted around these valleys. The foul, disgusting creatures!”

  Gng at the side of the road where his panions were still waiting, the mert discreetly shooed Druma and Blue away with his cw. Thankfully, it seemed they were both out of the very narrow field of view of the bucket head knight.

  “Yep, sure thing. Will do!” Balthazar said. “Hey, wait, speaking of sightings. You wouldn’t happen to know anything about a big red dragon being seen anywhere, would you?”

  “A dragon?! Verily?” the knight padin excimed, her helmeted faing closer to the crab. “There is a dragon on the loose in these nds?”

  “Well, not sure what nds, but yes, there’s a red dragon somewhere out—”

  “By the gods’ divine grace!” Hah blurted out. “This be a knight’s most noble of tasks! To find and sy a dragon! Oh, what grand and purposeful quest!”

  “What?! Wait, no!” Balthazar hurriedly said. “I was just asking if you heard anything. I’m not giving you a ques—”

  “Worry not, my crusta friend!” excimed the adventurer, hitting the metal pte on her chest with a closed fist. “I, Hah, knight padin, swear on my honor that I will see this quest through and find this mighty dragon, no matter how long it takes me!”

  The crab stood rooted iaring at her, feeling his will to live quickly abandoning him.

  “Yeah, sure. You know what? Ght ahead. I don’t even care anymore. Knock yourself out.”

  The knight padin nodded her bucket. “Very well! Farewell to thee. I shall get ba the road now!”

  Balthazar watched as she ked away, walking out of the road and disappearing into the bushes of the forest.

  Shaking his shell as he signaled for his panions to follow, the crab walked in the opposite dire, heading toward the Golem Fe’s entrance.

  I swear, if one more damn adventurer shows up, I’m gonna start ping ankles.