I don't belong here.

  I was born into a family who expected me to follow in their footsteps. My father was a tough sales manager at a random company I barely knew while my mother barely had time for me to focus on my older sister. My older brother, on the other hand, treated me more like a slave than a relative. No one in my family dared to care about me, see me as a human being... It's all studies, no play, and merely a working product that was meant to replace them when the time came. Despite all of this, I pushed them away because I couldn't deal with the pressure. Yet I couldn't as everyone kept watch on me. Not even school could let me get away from my family with bullies harassing me every day and teachers barely recognized me as a troubled child wishing for help.

  I want to tell them I don't want it. I want to show them I want to be my own person.

  But I'm completely trapped in the cage with no doors. A cage where I don't belong.

  For all of my childhood, I retreated within my head just to escape my parents' scolding and name-calling from my bullies. I couldn't take it, yet I was forced to bear it or my stuff will be taken away. It's not like I'm more worried about the latter since I never get anything I want and my siblings were the ones to get those cool video games and toys. At one point, I tried "taking" one of my brother's video games out of curiosity. But when he caught me, I resisted and as a result, he pounded me until my father stopped it before he got too rough on me. After that, I never tried borrowing or buying my own games or comic books ever again. If I did, I feared what would happen if my siblings found out.

  Not even my bedroom was a safe haven away from everyone. I could do nothing there but homework, study, and relentless tutoring. And when I slept, I couldn't stop thinking how am I going to live like this. In my nightmares, I always sit in an empty movie theater, replaying all of those dreaded memories on the silver screen. The only dreams I had were movies if my parents were nice, my siblings weren't so mean to me, and my bullies would stop hurting me and be popular in class for once.

  But one day, there was a book report and I was assigned to read "The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde". At that point, I was frustrated to do this report because of my parents and when I was going home afterward, I was tempted to throw the book over the bridge. I didn't care about getting good grades anymore and I was already at my limit. I even wondered what kind of punishment my parents would give me if I didn't. It would be great if they abandoned me in the middle of the streets.

  Maybe if I don't do well in school... If I stop caring about myself... I...

  "Is that Dr. Jekyll?!"

  My thoughts broke the moment I heard a young girl's voice. I turned around and noticed a girl my age that time with black long hair standing behind me with a smile. She wore a black dress, white long socks, and black shiny shoes, and her eyes seemed to be glowing purple. She looked strange and my parents taught me not to talk to strangers. Yet, something about her seemed... trusting.

  "Are you talking to me?" I asked nervously while trying to avoid making eye contact with her.

  "Yeah! That book you're holding..." She pointed at the said object in my hands. "I never knew you like "The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde"!"

  I could tell from her face that she was brimming with excitement when she saw my book. I would leave immediately if she talked too long and throw the book in the river. But just staring at the book cover made me reconsider my frustrations. "I-It's...for my book report. I never read a book with no pictures unless my teacher or my parents say so. Plus, I just borrowed this from a school library. So I can't keep it for long."

  Her smile disappeared, yet her energy remained as she continued to look at me and the book. "That's a shame. I get it's too boring for you. But you have to read it. I feel like it might be cathartic when you know the whole story." I prepared myself as she walked closer to me. But instead of taking the book, she gently pushed it to my chest and widened her smile. "You never know how much "darkness" you hid in your heart for so long."

  "Darkness"? "Cathartic"? I don't know what that girl was saying. But she didn't try insulting my book or calling me names like my brother and bullies and if she tried to mess with the book, she would have taken it away rather than pushing it and insisting me to read it.

  "I-I... But..." I stuttered. But I took a deep breath before continuing. "I don't know if I can finish reading it... It doesn't have any pictures and it's too hard to read it..."

  "Hmph... I don't believe you. People always say that when they're scared to pick up a real book." She then gasped with a smile. "Maybe you need a quiet place to read it. That way, no one can disturb you!"

  My eyes widened in shock. Apparently, she didn't get the point. "I'm telling the truth! I can't r- AHHHH!"

  Before I could finish, the girl in black grabbed my wrist and dragged me out of the bridge. "Don't worry! I know a good place to help you read Dr. Jekyll! It's my secret place and you might need a good place to read the whole thing."

  I wanted to tell her she was wrong. But I was so shocked at her forceful grip around my right wrist that I couldn't tell her otherwise. Before I knew it, I ended up following the girl, passing my usual path to my home.

  "Here we are!"

  I gasped for air after trying to catch up with the girl while enduring the pain from her grip on my wrist. But just as I caught my breath, I looked up and gasped at where she was pointing. "I-Is this...supposed to be the "quiet place" you've mentioned?!"

  This was nothing I imagined! I was hoping she would take me to a library or a cafe like those grown-ups go to read books or do stuff on their laptops. Instead, she took me to a rundown small shop at an abandoned alley at the corner near my school. How was this supposed to be "quiet"?! There was no way I was going to read in this scary place! However, the girl grinned and nodded without seeing my reaction to what it really was. "What do you think? It's my little hideaway from those unruly adults and there's no way someone mean would find you here so easily."

  "But it looks...raggedy..." I muttered. "Are you sure it's safe for us to go inside? The ceiling might go down just like in a movie where an earthquake came and broke everything as the pieces fall on us!"

  "Relax! I've been here a couple of times and the ceiling doesn't have those cracks like in the movies." The girl quickly grabbed my wrist before I tried running back to my usual path. Come on! It's not as chilly inside and I got snacks inside!"

  "B-But...!"

  And once again, I was pulled against my own will. I was mentally screaming, feeling horrified at the thought of the ceiling coming down at us the moment we went inside. I kept my eyes closed as I heard the door opening and closing behind me.

  "We're here!" The girl declared. "Welcome to my little shop, kid! It's where the world of imagination opens and... Would you stop shielding your eyes like a wimp?!"

  My hands were gone from my eyes as I felt them being removed by the girl. I was still hesitating to open them, but I had a feeling she might use force if I didn't. So I opened my eyes...

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  And my jaw dropped to see the shop itself. What I thought to be a ruined building was nothing more than an empty, yet slightly clean shop. There was no paint or wallpaper to cover the small cracks on the wall, but I saw the empty shelves and racks perfectly standing straight and the ceiling seemed to be free of cracks. As for the counter, the cashier machine thingy wasn't on, but there were jars of candies and chocolate that weren't as old as I first imagined.

  "W-Whoa..." I muttered in pure awe. "I-Is this...really your hideaway?"

  "Uh-huh!" The girl nodded again. "I spent my time cleaning up the shelves and doo-dads and saved up enough on my favorite sweets. No one didn't bother to find this place since the store was closed for years now. It would be a perfect place for you to read Dr. Jekyll book."

  "But what if my parents find this place? Would they get rid of this place?"

  The girl simply smiled and said, "Don't worry. In my hideaway, no one is allowed when I say so! No one will find this place except to my playmates!"

  My eyes widened once I heard that word. "P-Playmates? A-Are you saying we're friends?"

  "Yep!" The girl grabbed my hand and shook it vigorously. "I'm Umbaria! Nice to meet you, playmate!"

  This was a bit direct. But at that time, I was elated when she introduced herself, unlike my bullies. For the first time in my life, I finally have a friend to be with!

  "N-Nice to meet you." I took a deep breath and accepted her handshake. "I'm..."

  -----

  Nothing.

  Why were my parents blaming me?! I didn't mean to hurt my sister! I was mad that she took my Dr. Jekyll book! But instead of scolding her, they pinned everything on me! Why am I the bad guy?! And worse, my bullies hurt me more because my brother told me all about it!

  It's not fair! It's not fair! I shouldn't have deserved to be beaten up! Them! Not me!

  I hate them... I hate them so much... I want to tell them how I hate them for blaming me for their mistakes! I want to tell them how I hate studying in my room! I want to play outside! I want to read comics! I want to play video games! I want to hang out with friends!

  Why can't I get anything my siblings have that I don't?!

  "Hey, are you okay?"

  The moment I felt a hand on my hand, I screamed. But when I turned around, I saw Umbaria looking at me with worry in her eyes.

  "S-Sorry... I-I didn't know you were there..." I apologized.

  "No worries. But you should have known I'm here. We're in our hideaway, remember?" She scratched her chin. "I told you no one who isn't our playmate will find this place. You're safe here."

  "I-I know. But what happens if I leave here? There's no way I'm safe back home with my siblings around."

  "Then why don't you tell them how you feel?"

  I quickly shook my head. "It will never work. Whenever I told them I didn't like studying, my Dad would blame me that I'm turning my back on the family if I did because I was supposed to carry on the "family business". Mom wouldn't even help me since she only cared about my brother and sister. As for them, they just boss me around and hurt me if I tried asking permission to borrow their stuff."

  "That's horrible! Maybe you should tell all about them to another ad-"

  "NOBODY WOULD BELIEVE ME EVEN IF I POINT FINGERS ON MY BROTHER AND SISTER!" I screeched in panic at the thought of my siblings. "Nobody but you can help me. I'm only a kid and grown-ups can never listen to me even if I begged them." I blow out the snot dripping down from my nose. "Just like my brother said, I'm all alone and I will be alone with no one caring about a talentless kid like me."

  And that's the truth I was forced to accept...

  "Now what kind of stupidity do you think that?! If anything, your brother doesn't know the difference between friendship and bribery. Everyone has limits and your family should have cared for your wellbeing before your studies. If they continue to neglect that part of yourself, then they are not qualified as your parents and siblings."

  I froze after hearing her explanation. I don't know what to say about this. All of my life, my family only cared for my grades, never my "well-being". If what she said was true, then they weren't my family at all.

  "Take it from me. No one should suffer their health and self-love than the validation of the people who were careless of their wants and needs. Besides, aren't you frustrated that they never recognized your grades even if they were below their expectations? You worked hard to study for them and now, your parents thought you never did enough even though you did so?!"

  ...She's right.

  Why am I being punished for having a "D" on my paper? I studied so hard so I could get praise from my parents. Instead, they said I didn't do much after everything and they just locked me up in my room with no rewards on my studying. Why am I being punished?! Why am I the only one who had to suffer?! If only they would get punished instead... If only someone else would acknowledge me...

  If only those people were dead...

  No... That's impossible. What was I thinking?! I wanted to get away from my studies, not kill them! I don't...

  "It's only the start."

  Huh? "The start"?

  "You can bottle up your frustration on the world. But no matter what you do, you cannot change the truth. It's only a matter of time until all of the evil inside you will come out, Dr Jekyll."

  Huh?

  What did she...

  "Whatever. How about we get back to the game?" The girl smiled at me. "I'll be the customer this time. And you will be a..."

  "Useless brat..."

  No... I'm not useless.

  "Stupid thief. Why do you start asking when you tried reaching out to one of my comics without permission?!"

  T-That's not... ARGH!

  "Utterly useless. Dad was right about you. Why bother studying when you're bound to fail anyway? You are nothing more than a hopeless reject living in the wrong family."

  Reject?! You only think of me as useless because Dad said so! I studied hard even if those guys kept hurting me! I kept feeling the pain whenever he punched my gut when I called out on him.

  "Honestly, why are we feeding this mutt at all when he can't do anything right?"

  I did everything right. You didn't acknowledge me even when I spent sleepless hours trying to get my Algebra right! What's the point of me studying when all of you don't see it?!

  "Why do I need to talk to your father? If you think your grade is unfair to you, then you should have studied better."

  Studied...better?! I tried studying so hard, but you thought I didn't do too much, either! What's wrong with you, people?! I would have gone better if you gave me games and comics as rewards, too! I would have studied easier if it wasn't for the long hours of those stupid tutoring sessions you put me through! I would have been happy with or without games and comics if you let me leave my room instead of grounding me!

  Just...why?! Why am I still not good enough for you?!

  "It's only the start."

  Those words... "The start"... Why were those words kept repeating in my head?

  "You can bottle up your frustration on the world. But no matter what you do, you cannot change the truth."

  The truth... I know the truth now.

  My family doesn't care for me even if I worked hard enough to gain their attention to me! Even if I threw away my sleep or endured those insults or pain from my brother and bullies, they just didn't care for me at all!

  "It's only a matter of time until all of the evil inside you will come out, Dr Jekyll."

  Me? Jekyll? As if... There's no way I'm like him. I'm not useless. I'm not a failure. I'm not like my deadbeat father. I'm not like my arrogant brother and sister.

  I'm not them! I'm not like my family!

  I had it with this! I had it with my family's dumb rules! I want to be free! I want to play outside like the other kids! I want to escape from my bullies!

  I'm not a useless son! I'm not a punching bag! I'm not all of them! I'm not him!

  I'm not! I'm not! I'm not! I'm not! I'mnoti'mnoti'mnoti'mnot...

  I'M NOT!!!

  I'm... I'm... I'm...

  "Hey, Aster! Wake up! Are you okay?"

  I gasped when I heard the girl's voice. I opened my eyes and saw a familiar girl with black long hair with a matching dress staring at me.

  "You've been muttering while you're sleeping lately. Did those jerks hurt you again? If you like, maybe you should take some time off and man the counter for a while."

  I stare at her a while longer and after a while, I ask,

  "Who's Aster?"