“So how did it go last night?” Isabel sipped her mimosa.

  Lena, quite visibly still hungover, groaned. “Is, it was so bad.” She chugged her Bloody Mary through its straw until it gave her life again.

  “Did you go home with him? Was he good in bed?”

  “Ew, no. It did not get that far.”

  “Why not?”

  “Okay, well. You know how when we were in school, he was always like, disappearing off with his friends to go do mysterious things that somehow correlated with weird shit that was happening in the outside world?”

  Isabel pondered. She shook her head. “Weird shit?”

  “Yeah! Remember? He’d be gone from class for like a week. And then all of a sudden would come back, and at the same time like three of our teachers would be mysteriously ‘retired,’ and he’d be best friends with some former loser?”

  “I do remember that one time our Advanced Spellcasting professor completely vanished right before finals week. Did they ever find him?”

  “No idea.” Lena sipped her Bloody Mary meaningfully, like, “See what I mean??”

  Isabel shook her head, not buying it. “And you’re saying he was involved in all that.”

  “Yeah!”

  “How?”

  “Okay, remember like freshman year when there was that weird prophecy announcement?”

  “Oh yeah! The one about a child born under the full moon defeating the dark king?”

  “It was a New Moon, but yeah.”

  “What about it?”

  “That was him!”

  “Justice Harbinger was The Chosen One from the prophecy? Weird.” Isabel downed the last of her mimosa as she pondered. “Feels like I would have noticed.”

  “Well when you weren’t blacked out at some Order party, you were basically always with Mark. You were never really the go-to person for campus gossip.”

  “Harsh, but fair.” Isabel set her glass back down on the table. In the blink of an eye, it was full to the brim again. “So, what has Justice been up to since school?”

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  “Literally nothing.” Lena made a face. “I was actually pretty excited when I matched with him. I figured he’d be doing something cool. I mean, he saved the world like four separate times while we were in college.”

  “Four? How did I miss that?”

  “Well, it was like usually behind the scenes,” Lena said. “But if you want all the details now, I can give you a complete play-by-play. It’s all he would talk about last night.”

  “Yikes.”

  “I know, right? I mean, we’ve been graduated for like three years now. And I know I’m not the wizard who defeated the Dark King or whatever, but I’ve been doing really well at my job working for Aurora. Did I tell you she was going to let me do one of the Transit readings next retrograde?”

  “No shit, that’s awesome! Congratulations.” They toasted.

  “Exactly. I’ve been working hard and killing it. And he didn’t even ask me one question about myself.”

  “That’s hardly surprising.”

  “I know, but it’s disappointing. He literally just talked about his two best friends, the times he almost died saving the world, and he kept trying to get me to come back to his apartment to show me his wand.”

  Isabel giggled. “He did not.”

  “He did! It was disgusting. We weren’t even done with our drinks when he was like, ‘You wanna see it? It’s sooooo big.’”

  “Did you???”

  “Ew no! I’m trying to find the real deal here. Could you imagine what would happen if I seriously went out with him. It would be a lifetime of listening to this loser replay his glory days. Literally, what could be more boring.”

  “So, you didn’t go home with him?”

  “Okay, well at first I didn’t want to.” Lena turned a little red with shame.

  “Girl, NO.”

  “But we were three drinks in.”

  “I know how you get after a couple martinis.”

  “Don’t remind me,” Lena groaned. “But yeah, he told me he had a Philosopher’s Stone.”

  “Wait, really? Where did he get that?”

  “I don’t know, one of the times he saved the world, probably.” Lena shrugged. “But I was at least curious. Especially because he wanted to split the bill after drinks. I figured the least he could do was let me turn some base metals into gold.”

  “And achieve immortality! Do you think he’s immortal?”

  “Isabel, no. That’s just a myth.”

  Isabel shrugged, like, “Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t?”

  “So anyway, we take an Uber back to his place, and he goes into his bedroom to find it. I sit in his living room, and it was so embarrassing, all the posters are like, newspaper headlines from those times he was involved in taking down the government.”

  “Crazy.”

  “I know. Oh, and his wand was on the coffee table. It was pretty big.”

  “Girl.”

  “What?? I didn’t touch it.” Lena smirked. “But yeah, so he doesn’t come out of his bedroom, and I check my hourglass. It’s been like 45 minutes. I go in to check on him, and he’s just face down passed out on his bed.”

  “I think maybe you got off easy?”

  “Agreed. So yeah, I just called an Uber for myself and went home.”

  “And you never got to see the Philosopher’s Stone?”

  “If there ever was a Philosopher’s Stone in the first place, I’d be shocked.”

  “You think it was just a line?”

  “A line I fell for.” Lena buried her face in her arms.

  “So, are you going to see him again?”

  “Isabel!” Lena threw her celery at her friend, laughing. But then she thought for a moment.

  “Maybe.”