The setup works well enough; I set my animal companion and familiar to guarding my “house” from the inside (after getting the warcat cub familiar with my party members, of course). I also drop a few Symbol spells in the doorway, attuned to the party (specifically Sleep, Revetion, Scrying, Laughter, and Exsanguination... anyone breaking in is liable to die ughing of blood loss in their sleep), and keep my familiar there to alert me if there's a problem. Wesley doesn't leave my house for the two weeks, just sticking to the library, pantry, and one of the guest rooms.

  Also: Guard duty is boring. True to his word, Roger found us some simple gigs to fill the time… extra security for some nobles hosting parties, mostly. Worst thing any of us had to deal with was a few drunk nobles wandering where they shouldn't (and I have a silver tongue in any form, so that was minor), but our employer actually had the house guards watching the party: We had the gate and grounds. The pay was… not much. Each of our shares worked out to about a dozen gold crowns for the two weeks. Still… if someone doesn't mind common meals and sleeping in the main room near the fire, that would be… just enough to cover spending the time at an inn. But really, it's more “something to do” than anything else. When we're not working, I keep everyone ‘entertained’ (myself most of all - I have a voracious ‘appetite’... as does any guy near me when I'm female, so it works well).

  When Wesley runs out of materials for copying spells into his book (and yes, I'm aware he's copying because he'd like to keep access to a lot of them after I'm gone; it's a simple enough matter for him to simply prepare spells directly out of my library: It would be much faster and cheaper), Roger gets us another guild gig: Trimming the local dungeon. It's routine work: We go in, kill as many monsters as we can, loot everything, and get out. The dungeon produces monsters, we kill them (and collect the loot) so they don't build up and start to wander (not doing so enough is why the area has a temporary goblin problem).

  So we ride for the hour it takes to reach the dungeon (it's kept well away from town). This one has built a swamp around itself (the pnar energies the dungeon converts to magic ‘leak’ a little, and that has some effects on the surrounding environment… the monsters are only part of the reason the dungeons are seeded a few miles from the towns they serve), I dismiss the horses.

  Before we go in, Roger speaks up, “Ah… while I really enjoy your fantastic female form… mind being a guy for a while? We will need to focus in there, and you're… distracting.”

  I consider, “Yeah, sure,” put on my robe, and switch to my male form.

  I also hit everyone with the long and medium duration buffs, adding the Greater Resistance spell and Magic Circle Against Evil to the mix as well. And then we go in. The first couple of rooms go well: Stoneskin negates what few hits get through the other wards, and everyone hits hard against the expected goblins. Roger is skilled at his job, and is now rocking a very nice set of theives’ tools, which helps with the traps.

  We don't run into trouble until one hobgoblin out of a group with good equipment pops an arrow through Roger's shoulder successfully: As our party leader makes a very feminine moan in response, I realize I've made some foolish decisions.

  Roger starts growing, breaking out of his armor and pants, turning into… well, a slightly shorter version of my female form. As the remains of her armor and clothes fall to the ground… the fight stops. Or rather, it changes.

  As Roger looks around with that obvious NEED in her eyes… I'm the only one who doesn't drop my weapon. Everyone else - the hobgoblins still standing, Wesley, and Bearcw - drop what they're holding and start frantically pulling down their pants. Within seconds they’ve set the scene: Bearcw on the ground, face up, his rod buried in Roger's disposal chute. Roger, face up, her lips wrapped around a gray hobgoblin rod. Wesley, his elven meat stick in Roger's baby bakery. Two more hobgoblins on either side, smiles on their faces as they each enjoy Roger's fingers sliding up and down their shafts. A fourth opponent straddling the shifted halfling, his rod buried between those two glorious globes.

  With everyone occupied, I think for a minute, shrug, and kill a hobgoblin with my sling, hitting it in the chest with enough force to make him sptter all over the room. Just as an experiment, I then wait a bit. Other than wiping his guts off their eyes with a free hand, nobody reacts.

  That's a really strong compulsion.

  Well, we're supposed to kill them all… I get the other hobgoblins the same way, and Roger lets out a very needy whine when the dead hobgoblin that had been in her mouth can't stay hard anymore, and colpses.

  When that whine attracts a bugbear who takes the hobgoblin's pce, I know we have the perfect honey trap… for around a third of the dungeon denizens, anyway.

  I stand back in a corner, and start popping sling bullets into all the dungeon denizens as they show up for the orgy. Of course I regurly cast the Abundant Ammunition spell on my pouch, clean the fatigue off of my party mates, and stack the bodies off to the side, but I'm basically shooting fish in a barrel: This dungeon is mostly full of goblins, hobgoblins, and bugbears: Humanoids. It's primarily the male humanoids that get really curious about the loud noises coming from this room… and once they see Roger, they're hooked, joining the festivities with a somewhat gssy look on their faces, ignoring all the dead bodies, making them very easy prey. The women and animals that get curious enough to come I still kill, but they at least have a chance of defending themselves.

  Not a very GOOD chance, but a chance nonetheless.

  An hour after I no longer have anything getting curious about the noise, I stop cleaning the fatigue off the group and let them run themselves to the point where they can't move anymore (which takes another hour or so). Then I drag the three apart (causing Roger to whimper in her sleep), and cast Countermoon on all three, just to be safe. The party leader of course turns right back into a male halfling, and then I cleanse the fatigue off of all three as I repair the halfling's armor and clothing via the Make Whole spell.

  Roger groans, “Ugh… why am I naked?”

  Wesley is frowning and looking at me as he rights his robes, “Because you turned into a marginally shorter version of Mary, and every man in sight started using you… actions with which you quite eagerly cooperated. Only Marty here seems to have been immune… and he let the situation run, and knew exactly how to restore you… which he deyed doing until the job was done… and then applied the same spell to both myself and Bearcw as well.”

  Roger looks around, “So… that's why we have bodies stacked up like cordwood?”

  “Yes,” I answer, “I let you all py bait. As you can see, you were very good at it.”

  Bearcw pulls up his pants, stands, and brandishes his axe, “Spill, Marty. What happened?”

  “I think I can answer that,” Wesley pipes up, “He used a spell called Countermoon. It suppresses lycanthropy… temporarily.”

  The half-orc raises an eyebrow.

  The halfling frowns, “You said I turned into a woman?”

  “Indeed,” Wesley hasn't taken his eyes off me, “Which means Marty here is some kind of were-woman… a natural lycanthrope, and you're infected. Given that he used the spell on all three of us, and none of us fully remember that first night with Mary…”

  The barbarian connects the dots, “...we were all infected that night.”

  I cringe, “Yeah. That's… exactly it, yes.” Umm… how do I get out of this… “You won't infect anyone else, though, and I've rigged it so you won't be stuck with a child. And, you know, once you master it, it's great! You're resistant to injury….”

  “I don't like the idea of being a woman full time to take advantage of that,” Roger rebukes dryly, “I LIKE being a man.”

  “Oh, that's no problem,” I reassure him, “Once you get the hang of it there's a halfway point where you have both sets of gear, and few women will be able to resist… you can bang all the dies you like, they'll love it.”

  “And how exactly,” ooh… the elf is starting to turn red while he frowns… yeah, he's mad… “would that be any different from using a spell, like Charm Person, to get them to compromise themselves?”

  Huh. I never thought of it that way… everyone just likes me when I'm… which is basically what a Charm spell does. Umm. Is THAT why Mom gets so annoyed with me? I usually tune out her lectures after….

  As I'm sitting there, Bearcw of all people comes to my rescue, “I don't think he realized. Give the kid a break.”

  Roger actually growls at me, “Fine. Marty, listen up: You have some new rules now. First, you will STAY in your male form unless everyone else from the party in the room says otherwise. It's one thing if everyone knows what's going to happen and is willing, it's quite another to mess with someone's head without their consent. Second, you will NOT be in your female or…” he trails off.

  “I think you're looking for ‘hybrid form’, ” Wesley supplies, still not taking his eyes off me.

  “Right,” Roger continues, “You will NOT be in your female or hybrid form in public unless we have a mission where the rest of us agree it's required. Third: You will maintain that ‘Countermoon’ spell on the three of us at all times, unless one of us specifically asks for you to remove it for a limited time, and specifies the time frame, which you WILL respect.” Roger pauses, “Am I missing anything?”

  The elf, still staring daggers at me, adds, “You realize this means we're going to have to keep him until we can find a cure, right?”

  He halfling nods, not taking his eyes off me, “Yeah. I really don't like it, but we have some pretty slim pickings here. I'd prefer to just feed him to the goblin dogs, but then we’d have trouble suppressing the problem until we get cures.”

  Bearcw pipes up, “If we're keeping him for now, we'll need his full history.”

  The party leader nods, “Fair. Four, you WILL tell us the whole story. And five: You WILL stay with us until we say otherwise.”

  Hmm. I suppose I could… nah. Killing folks doesn't really solve anything, even though I could probably get away with it down here. Besides, Uncle C would tell Mom on that one, so I wouldn't really get away with it, “I can accept those terms.”

  I take a breath, “So… I suppose I should start with my mom….”