Homeless Bunny 36

  Glynda Goodwitch

  For all his immense power and cooking talent, I did not like Tianyu Yue. Oh, I could acknowledge that he had many good traits.

  He was, as far as I could tell, a kind person who cared deeply for others. He reforged Ruby’s scythe because he was sorry for breaking something sentimental to her. He mended Amber’s sundered soul and asked nothing in return.

  He had an excellent eye for talent. He quickly identified the most promising students in his year and took them under his wing. They’d grown by leaps and bounds under his tutelage, shoring up their foundations. Even Amber’s mastery of her magic could be credited to him.

  He also possessed remarkable restraint. Regarding both Cardin Winchester and Detective Powers, he showed a clear distaste for violence. Whether out of pride or mercy, he was not the kind of person who relished trampling over the defenseless.

  Still, I did not like Tianyu Yue. I could admit that he had many redeeming qualities, but he was an agent of chaos like none other. Nothing was ever as it seemed when he was involved. It was as though his every breath upturned the laws of the world, peeling back the fabric of reality to reveal a web of fluffy, bunny-shaped entropy.

  Worst of all, he was a bad omen. Power attracted power. His mere presence hinted at things to come, never mind his stated goal of killing the Brother Gods.

  There was an old, Mistralian saying that went something like, “When two whales battle, it is the shrimp that breaks its back.” It didn’t matter who the whales were: Salem. Ozpin. Tianyu. The Brothers. All I knew was that it was the mortals who would suffer most.

  And here was the first taste of that.

  A grimm tide should have been impossible in Forever Fall Forest. There was no population of humans or faunus that could trigger a tide through a sudden outpouring of despair. No alpha grimm was strong enough to take command of a tide; we at Beacon ensured it through regular cullings.

  Yet, here one was. It wasn’t just a small tide either. It was led by the ancient wyvern, another impossibility. The wyvern was one of several ancient grimm the kingdoms kept an eye on. It had remained in slumber for generations. In the past, its awakening had spelled the end of an era, the fall of entire nations.

  Not so this time. I watched as the world broke under Tianyu’s declaration. There was no questioning his divinity now, not when the earth and sky seemed to fall silent just to hear his words. It was as though all creation became like students in a classroom, leaning forward to catch every word.

  When he struck, existence unmade itself. Everything in the path of his fist was reduced to atoms. It was a directed explosion, a destructive wave that obliterated everything in a perfect cone in front of him. Trees. Boulders. The ancient grimm. The earth itself. It was as though a god had descended and decided to remodel the earth on a whim.

  When the smoke cleared, I saw a great chasm that stretched as far as the eye could see. The new valley vanished into the horizon without end and I feared the overpowered bunny’s strike had reached the sea. I wasn’t sure, but if it did, then Sanus would likely have a new lagoon or inlet sometime in the near future.

  I wondered if this had once been a common sight. Had Ozpin, back in the days when he was the Wizard Ozma, been capable of such a thing? Did the humans of his era, the first humans who defied the gods, wield this kind of power?

  I’d asked Ozpin once, back when I first learned the truth, if he missed magic, missed being the Wizard. He offered me a bittersweet smile and told me that the age of magic had passed, and that perhaps, the changing of the seasons was a good thing.

  I understood now. This kind of power did not belong in the hands of mortals. Tianyu alone was bad enough, and he cared not for the trappings of wealth or authority. I could only shudder at what governments or rulers might do with such power.

  The new geological feature was the least of my concerns. Maps could be redrawn, but what bothered me was that Salem had made her move. Such an abnormal grimm tide could have been caused by no one else.

  Power attracted power. Tianyu intervened, this time, but what about the next? And the one after that?

  One day, Tianyu would not be here. He claimed that he would leave someday, off to the moon or the realm of the gods or wherever magic bunnies went when they weren’t causing trouble on Remnant.

  I feared for my students. I feared that this was just the beginning. I feared that they would not be strong enough. I feared that they would be forced to face foes far beyond a mortal’s ability.

  And when that day came, I feared that not even all of Beacon would be enough to shield them.

  X

  Miltia Malachite

  I threw myself onto my bed with a relieved groan. Not three feet away, Melanie and Amber did the same. We were exhausted beyond belief. I could feel my limbs trembling. It was a new feeling.

  Not the trembling, that happened whenever Tianyu made us do cardio through increased gravity. The fighting. Mel and I were assassins and enforcers. We were used to fighting people weaker than us, people with shit training and shittier aura reserves. Back in the gang, fights were over in seconds, just a quick stab to prove a point.

  Things didn’t change much at Beacon. Combat class sucked, especially following Tianyu’s training, but it didn’t last long either. Each student got called up, fought for maybe five minutes, and then got lectured by Goodwitch for a bit before sitting back down.

  The grimm tide was different. It came in waves, but that didn’t mean we got enough time to rest in between. It was over an hour of high-stakes, high-intensity combat. Nonstop violence, with a few lucky seconds to breathe. No matter how much we improved, we only barely had the stamina to survive that.

  No, if I was being honest, we wouldn’t have survived that. Tianyu bailed us out. He showed up, did some bullshit martial arts thing, and then punched the air so hard that they’d have to redraw the map of northern Sanus.

  I hated it. I hated feeling this weak. I thought we were making progress, me and Melanie. We were stronger and faster than we’d ever been. We had better teamwork than anyone in Beacon.

  And… And none of it was good enough.

  “You did well,” I heard him say. He took a seat on my bed and ran his fingers through my hair. “All of you. Miltia, Melanie, you held your cool and fought as a unit. Amber, you took on Cinder on your own. I’m proud of you.”

  I groaned into my pillow. It was all I could do at the moment. His fingers felt nice and I just wanted to fall asleep. “Can we not do a debrief right now?”

  “Don’t worry, we won’t be doing that. I just wanted you to know that I’m proud of you and that I think you did splendidly.”

  “Did we?” Melanie asked with a bitter laugh. “We barely survived that. I don’t know what exactly farm girl did, but I’m pretty sure she didn’t have it much easier than us.”

  “Yeah, I almost died too,” Amber admitted as she rolled over onto her side to face us. Though she’d put up a strong front in the forest, her eyes were sad and melancholic. “Cinder had her two cronies. I told myself that I wouldn’t hesitate anymore, and I didn’t, but I… I don’t like killing.”

  “If it helps, you get used to it.”

  “I don’t want to get used to it, Melanie! Killing isn’t something anyone should get used to!”

  “It’s not,” Tianyu said. He got up and put an arm around her shoulder. “But… But I think this needed to happen. Cinder was a hurdle you had to overcome on your own.”

  “I know…” She leaned into his side. She whispered so we could barely hear her. “Is it weird that a part of me… not enjoyed, but… maybe found it a little… fulfilling?”

  “No, no it’s not. She tried to kill you. Succeeded, by any logical metric. If you are willing to take a life, it’s only right that you fight with your own on the line.”

  “That doesn’t really make me feel better. Doesn’t that just mean someone will kill me one day?”

  “Only if you continue to fight to kill. Which is why it’s good that you take no pleasure in it. Find fulfillment in this chapter of your life coming to a close.”

  “Yeah, I guess you’re right. It’s closure.”

  “Mhmm…” Tianyu trailed off. The room fell silent.

  “Hey, bun-bun?” Melanie called.

  “Yes?”

  “Are we ever going to be able to handle something like that alone?”

  “The grimm tide?”

  “Yeah. You said you’d make us strong, and… we did get stronger, but…”

  “But you’re not magic. You thought you’d be stronger after all that training.”

  “Yeah…”

  “Do you realize that you two kept on fighting for over an hour against high-level grimm?”

  “So did everyone else.”

  “The difference is that everyone else had their Semblance, firearms, or dust to rely on. You two had claws.”

  “We didn’t kill anything important.”

  “Is that what you think?” Tianyu asked. I could hear the disappointment in his voice. “I think you are severely underestimating yourselves. You don’t have any special skills so your stopping power is limited, but you’re grossly underselling how much you contributed.

  “Running interference for Nora and Pyrrha meant fighting three or four lesser grimm for every alpha they dealt with, oftentimes more. That isn’t much the first time, or even the fifth, but you did that for well over an hour with little rest in between. You ran more and fought longer than most people could have, and without sustaining any major injuries.

  “You were also constantly aware of the battlefield as a whole, something even most team leaders weren’t doing. I think only Glynda, Weiss, and Ilia had better combat awareness. Glynda is Glynda, Weiss was held back for specifically that purpose, and Ilia is a former terrorist who’s used to taking scout and support positions. Really, Mel, you did incredibly well. Both of you.”

  If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

  “Wait, isn’t Blake also a former terrorist?” I asked, pulling my head from my pillow. I guessed we were doing a debrief whether we liked it or not, though thankfully an informal one. “She got caught out.”

  “She did, to her shame,” he agreed. “Her problem is that she’s used to being second fiddle to someone else. I suspect she’s used to following orders while Ilia took on more independent tasks that made use of her chameleon faunus heritage.”

  “And Ruby’s not good at giving orders. She’s also not experienced enough to take a broader look at the battlefield as a whole.”

  “Exactly. Blake knows that in her head, but some habits are hard to break. I saw her get caught out when she waited for a half-second for a follow-up that wasn’t coming.”

  “Yeah, well, we still feel like shit, bun-bun. You could have jumped in at any time.”

  “I know. I’m sorry for that, but you needed this experience,” he said with an apologetic smile. I hated how it gave me butterflies. Stupid, adorable bunny with his stupid, broken-ass powers and stupid, tasty food. “I won’t always be here.”

  I felt myself go stiff. He was leaving. We’d all known that, he always said he was from another world, but it hadn’t felt as real as it did now. “The moon…”

  “Yes. The bulk of my Authorities are tied to the moon. The moon is repairing itself, and when it does, I’ll regain my ability to cross into the Netherworld.”

  “H-How long? How long do you think that’ll take?” Amber asked quietly.

  He looked out the window. It was still the middle of the day, our field trip hadn’t taken that long, but we were all dead tired. “At the rate it’s progressing, a few months? Funnily enough, near the Vytal Festival.”

  “That sounds oddly convenient.”

  “What can I say? Destiny has a funny way about Campione.”

  “So… What happens when you’re gone?” Melanie voiced what we were all thinking. She was always the more direct twin. “When you leave, what? Do we just go back to being gangsters? Does farm girl go back to milking cows and cleaning up chicken coops?”

  “Not all farms have cows,” Amber grumbled, but we ignored her.

  “No? What gave you that idea? I guess you could, but only if that’s the life you find fulfilling.” Tianyu looked at her in confusion. “In the end, you have more options than most ever will: You can become legitimate huntresses. You can take over the Vale underworld as a mob boss. Or an information broker. Hell, work as Weiss’ bodyguards and demand absurd amounts of money. No matter what you do, the Moonlit Famiglia will provide a logistics and information network to fit your needs.”

  That did sound great. Mel and I could go take over Mistral too if we wanted, kicking out dear ol’ mom. And if farm girl wanted to be a wandering hero again or whatever, we could feed her intel and use her as the face of the organization.

  I could imagine it already. Weiss would have the Beacon Dust Company. She’d be richer than god while Mel and I could run the underworld. Blake and Ilia would finally get a say in faunus rights or whatever and Velvet would…

  “What about Velvet? Isn’t she the ‘Young Mistress of the Lunar Palace’ or something?” I asked him. “What’s she supposed to do?”

  He shrugged. “Whatever she wants. I know I said that, and I’m willing to train her, but I won’t dictate her future. You’re asking questions of me that are better directed at yourselves. What do you want? What is your ambition? I would be delighted to help you girls make it a reality.”

  “What if we don’t know what we want?” Amber said quietly. “Today was… dangerous. I guess we were all caught by surprise. It’s because of you, Tianyu. N-Not that I’m blaming you, but… the past few months felt…”

  “Safe,” Mel finished for her. “They felt safe. And fun. Like we weren’t really training to fight for our lives.”

  “Yeah… The grimm tide was a wakeup call I guess. Between all your hijinks and delicious food, I think I forgot how dangerous the world could be. It almost felt like a vacation, or a summer camp. But time isn’t going to stand still, is it? Not forever. Not even for you.”

  I sat up and pulled my knees towards my chest. “Yeah, I feel you, farm girl. Bun-bun’s training is rough, but he has a way of making you forget why you’re training.”

  “It’s okay if you don’t know,” Tianyu said as he pulled my sister into a hug, the lucky bitch. “You’ve got time to figure it out.”

  “And if we do? What if we know and none of what you said is what we want for ourselves?”

  “I’ll support you, duh. You’re my students. You’re my friends. I’d like to think that means something.”

  “Even if it means taking us with you? Because we were serious about dating you, you know.”

  He paused. I felt my stomach sink. He was… He was easily the best thing that ever happened to us. Was it so wrong that Melanie and I wanted to stay by his side?

  “It’s… If that’s what you want, sure,” he said carefully. “But it won’t be easy. Coming with me to the Lunar Palace will mean officially becoming a part of my retinue.”

  “As if we’re not already?”

  “You’re not. Not even close. The retinue of a Campione has to be exceptional,” he stressed. “They can’t just be good at their jobs, they need to be some of the best in the world. So good that the entire world respects them with or without royal backing.”

  “Why? Why is that so important to you?” Amber asked. “You said the same thing about your lovers before, too. Is it because your wife only allows strong people in your harem?”

  He chuckled and shook his head. “Partially true, but no. Luo Hao doesn’t actually care who I sleep with. She insists on that because that’s her way of being kind. And being a part of my retinue doesn’t mean we need to be romantically involved.”

  “How is having a stupidly high standard being kind?” I asked.

  “Have I ever told you girls about the first time I killed someone? Not a god or monster, just a human.”

  “No? What happened?”

  “We were walking around Hollywood one day. Ah, that’s a neighborhood in a city called Los Angeles. It’s where all the actors and directors of big budget films are. I don’t remember exactly what I was doing there, I think I may have been on my way to visit Annie, but I arrived and stopped at a cafe there with the SSIU agent tasked with guiding me around town.

  “I remember commenting offhand that the server was cute. We chatted. She told us how she was an amateur actress in film school, kinda hit it off. The agent I was with took that to mean that I wanted her in my bed. I saw the girl waiting in my hotel room later that night.

  “So, I made her dinner and got the story out of her. The agent thought the best way to earn my favor was to get me laid. After he dropped me off at the hotel, he tracked her down and hypnotized her into thinking he was a talent scout. He promised to arrange a part for her if she’d ‘entertain a VIP’ for the night.

  “I fed her, let her cry herself to sleep, then had another operative investigate the guy. When I found out this wasn’t an isolated thing, I killed him. Well, I told them to ‘take care of it,’ but I knew exactly what I was asking for. Had to fill Annie in on why I executed a senior agent, and so deep in her territory, too.

  “She was furious. Each Campione is a paragon. Voban the Hunter. Luo Hao the Martial Artist. Tianyu the Chef. And Annie? She’s the Superhero, the masked, save the day kind. She completely upturned the city, arresting or outright executing hundreds. That kind of corruption in her backyard? She couldn’t let that stand.”

  I mulled it over. His story sounded pretty familiar, a bit like the kind of shit that happened in Mistral sometimes. The sex trade wasn’t news. Maybe to farm girl, but Mel and I grew up on that shit. We attended a finishing school for assassins and the golden rule, besides “Keep your mouth shut,” was “Get close to the target by any means necessary.”

  Even before then, the Spiders, mom’s gang, weren’t exactly innocent. Lil Miss Malachite specialized in intelligence gathering, “weaving the web,” she called it. A good chunk of her network was made up of whores and escorts who picked up on pillow talk and passed the intel along. I wasn’t delusional enough to think they were all there willingly.

  “What’s that got to do with us?” I asked.

  “I got her number, you know,” he replied with a wan smile. “She thanked me for dinner and for not taking advantage of her.”

  “Did you ever call her back?”

  “No, no I didn’t. She was sweet, but we’d never have worked even if I hadn’t been married. She’s too weak to protect herself, too ignorant of the magical world, and too–”

  “Too vulnerable,” Melanie finished for him. “You’re saying we’re like that. Not just too physically weak, but that we don’t have enough clout to hang with you.”

  “Kinda, yeah… It sounds awful and elitist as hell, but… People are greedy. Ambition makes fools of even those who should know better. The chance to use a vulnerable member of my retinue to get to me would be very tempting. So yeah, my wife is trying to be kind, in her own, warped way.”

  “Don’t you have a palace on the moon? Can’t we stay there?”

  “You could, but is that the life you’d want? Sheltered like a flower in a garden? No, right? Sure, you’d enjoy the luxury for a bit, but neither of you girls are like that. I don’t think you’d be happy just being a glorified booty call.”

  “No, I guess not…”

  “And, truth be told, the Netherworld is even more dangerous than the mortal plane. Humans are only so strong. The guests at the Lunar Palace include gods. Most know better, but it wouldn’t be the first time I’ve had to kick out an unruly guest or answer a divine challenge. You were reminded of how dangerous Remnant could be today, but this world’s got nothing on the shit you’ll be expected to live through as part of my retinue.”

  “So we’re not good enough,” Mel said bitterly. “How do we get good enough then? What exactly does that mean?”

  “About as strong as Glynda at the bare minimum? I’d place her on the same level as a great knight where I come from. Either that, or a talent so exceptional that it becomes a source of clout and protection for you in its own right.”

  “Like what?”

  Tianyu conjured an image into the air. It showed a young woman, roughly in her twenties. She was albino, much like our bunny, and kept her hair in a pixie cut that perfectly framed her face. “Alice Nakiri. She was a young girl who became the biggest name in molecular gastronomy.”

  “No idea what that is.”

  “It’s what you get when you apply chemistry to food. You see those dishes that sometimes look like modern art pieces, with tons of dried ice and stuff? Yeah, that.”

  “Huh… And she’s what? A concubine?”

  “Yes… sorta… She joined my retinue about a decade after graduating Totsuki Culinary Academy. She became the sole student of the original Jade Rabbit, not me, the goddess. She’s still not much of a fighter, but her skill at alchemy is so good that multiple gods have acknowledged her.

  “In fact, she’s actually almost as old as me and Laura. No one gave her immortality. Jade gave her a few of her old notes and told her to brew a potion to extend her own lifespan. If she succeeded, great. If not, that’s all her talent amounted to in the end. Suffice to say, she’s still around.”

  We fell silent. That sounded impossible to me, and judging by the look in my sister’s eyes, she felt the same. Figure out the secrets of immortality by applying cooking and chemistry techniques based on the leftover notes of a goddess? That was the kind of bullshit that came up in shitty novels, not real life.

  But then again, it made an absurd sort of sense. The bunny wasn’t normal. His wife probably wasn’t normal, either. Figured that his harem or whatever would be filled with ridiculously talented people, too.

  My eyes met Mel’s. We were of the same mind. We could stay in Remnant, probably become the biggest fish in the underworld. Or, we could follow Tianyu. We could work our asses off. In exchange, we’d receive power, immortality, and maybe even a lover.

  That was an easy choice. We always were the ambitious sort.

  “We’re in,” Mel and I said as one. “Train us. Make us stronger. But when you leave, you need to take us with you.”

  “Are you sure?” he asked with a worried frown. “This will mean leaving your world behind.”

  “And?” Melanie scoffed, tossing her hair behind her. “You’re acting like we’ve got much to stick around for. Besides, we can visit, right? Are you saying we don’t have the potential?”

  “You do… You’re about ready to learn more advanced techniques anyway after a few months of physical conditioning.”

  “Then we’re in.”

  “Alright. And you, Amber? Do you also think you should leave Remnant?”

  The brunette shook her head. “I don’t know. That’s okay, right?”

  “Of course. Take your time. No one’s forcing you to do anything.” Then, our stomachs growled. He laughed and stood. “I know it’s only the afternoon, but it’s been a long day. Did you still want your naps or are you in the mood for food?”

  I slumped back into my bed. “Why not both? Wake us when food’s ready?”

  “You know what? Fine, but I’m spoiling you.”

  “You are. We love you, bun-bun.”

  Author’s Note

  Glynda is someone who knows enough about the First Age to be very afraid of magic. She’s prudent, responsible, and likes to keep an orderly school. All these things make her a fantastic deputy headmistress, but she can’t help but resent the chaos Tianyu represents. She’s… completely right…

  This might be the only harem protagonist I’ve written. Then again, given Campione and Shokugeki no Soma, I guess it’s only fair. Tianyu’s standards for “acceptable” women have been influenced by Luo Hao’s mentality.

  I don’t know much RWBY lore past v3, but I’m told Salem’s goal is ultimately to die. It’s… a really stupid motivation for the main villainess.

  Animal Fact: Lobsters pee out of nozzles near their eyes. They pee on themselves and each other for communication, especially during courtship and combat.

  So yes, you can pee to assert dominance. Go forth and… I don’t know what you’ll do with this knowledge, but go forth…

  Thank you for reading. To reach a wider audience, and because I enjoy a more forum-like setup to facilitate discussion, I like to crosspost to a wide variety of websites. If you’re also like me, you can find my works on

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