They found a little cave to sleep in. Thyssa got a fire going, and Merryway set up their bedroll.

  Thyssa checked her bag. “Hm. I hope you weren’t counting on dinner. That flyer cleaned us out.”

  “I’ve got some of my aunt’s bannock.”

  “I don’t know what that is,” said Thyssa, “but I’ll eat it, thanks.”

  Merryway produced pieces of some sort of fruit-covered bread, dividing them out between them and Thyssa.

  Thyssa cautiously chewed a piece of the bread. It was thick and heavy, but the fruit was nice and sweet. Merryway was looking at them strangely.

  “I don’t know what I saw back there,” said Merryway. “How did you talk to that thing?”

  Thyssa gazed into the flames. “The same way I talk to you.”

  “But I couldn’t talk to a bird, or a dog. I mean…they wouldn’t understand me. The malform…it’s like you understood each other.”

  “Of course we did!” said Thyssa, on edge at the comparison of her kind to beasts. “Malforms may look strange, but they’re a lot closer to humans than most of us realize. They came from us, you know.”

  Merryway’s eyes widened. “What? How?”

  “When the people of the Walled Garden made themselves perfect, they got rid of everything they hated about themselves. Threw it all away into some kind of toxic waste dump. That became the Muckpool, and it brought their flaws to life.”

  “How do you know all this?”

  Thyssa sighed. “I used to work for one of the perfect humans. I learned a lot there.”

  “But something happened,” said Merryway, their body tense. “You said…when you were talking to the malform…you said you killed people.”

  “I told it what I needed to tell it to make it go away. Don’t worry about it.”

  “But you weren’t lying, were you?”

  “What do you think?”

  “I think I’d like a straight answer out of you.”

  Thyssa took a deep breath.

  “Yes. I killed people.” She looked at Merryway. They seemed afraid. “But I’m not going to kill you.” She smiled sweetly at them. “So don’t worry about it.”

  Merryway did not seem reassured. “Why?”

  Thyssa narrowed her eyes. “Why would I kill you? You saved me.”

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  “I mean, why did you kill them?”

  “Does it matter? They’re dead.”

  “It does matter,” said Merryway. “This is a sacred place. Any burdens on your soul will weigh heavily – and the mountain will react to them. Anything you hold back could endanger the mission. Could get one or both of us killed.”

  Thyssa sighed. “Fine. My doctor did some inappropriate stuff to me, and I, uh, killed him.”

  Merryway looked heartbroken. “Thyssa…”

  “I didn’t mean to, alright? I just freaked out. Lost control. I’m not proud of what I did, but I did it.”

  “It’s horrible.”

  “Yeah? Well it gets worse. They caught me doing it, and then people tried to kill me, so I killed them too.”

  Merryway looked down. “I…I don’t know what there is to say. This is a lot to bear.”

  “Then you don’t have to bear it!”

  “But you do. It’s not just the venom that poisons your heart.” Merryway looked Thyssa in the eye. “Is that why you were so intent on taking Grief Chaser from me?”

  Thyssa flinched. Merryway had honed in on something she’d rather not have even felt. It was as if they could look into her soul and see everything. That was beautiful, but it was also a danger. Wasn’t it?

  Thyssa sniffed. “I just wanted it because it’s a strong weapon. Being strong is important.”

  “Why?”

  “So you don’t die. And your loved ones don’t die.”

  “You wanted to protect me.”

  “Yeah.”

  Merryway’s voice was hollow. “Even if it costs you your life. Because you care about me more than you care about yourself.”

  “It’s not that.”

  “No…it’s more than that, isn’t it?” Merryway raised their voice. “You want to die for your loved ones. Because then it means you’re valuable to someone. Even if you’re too dead to appreciate it.”

  Thyssa realized something. “Is that why you took Grief Chaser?”

  “No.”

  “It’s…not? I felt like you were projecting for a bit there.”

  Merryway’s face was solemn. “I don’t want to die. I really don’t. I…just don’t want my mother to die, either. The mission is too important for me to be selfish.”

  “It’s selfish to not want to die horribly, alone on some mountain?”

  Merryway smiled. “I’m not alone. I have you.”

  “You didn’t know that when you set out.”

  “Well…no.”

  “You talk a lot about loving yourself, about valuing your life, and then you just don’t do it. Because of some greater good. The only life you can sacrifice is your own? Who said you could sacrifice that?”

  Merryway looked down. “I…well. I guess we both have stuff going on.” They took Thyssa’s hands. “But this is a place of healing. Not just of the body, but of the spirit. I truly believe that you are where you need to be. Perhaps it was the Goddess herself who joined our paths.”

  Thyssa scoffed. “Your Goddess blessed you with a killer?”

  Merryway put her hands on Thyssa’s. “The Goddess blessed me with a wonderful girl who thinks she’s just a killer. But she’s so much more than that. She’s brave enough to stand against a malform twice her size, and she can talk to it. She knows the words to say to make it stop. Do you…do you realize what that means? If we can just talk to malforms…”

  “Then you don’t have to fight them.”

  “Exactly. We can work together. Protect each other. Learn from each other.” Merryway looked right at Thyssa, eyes wide with earnestness and hope. “And that’s why we both have to live through this.”

  Thyssa narrowed her eyes. “But you said –”

  “I was wrong.”

  Thyssa finished her bannock. “Thanks. I’ve got to go sleep now.”

  She lay down on the rock beside the fire.

  “You don’t have your own bedroll?” asked Merryway.

  “Fugitive,” said Thyssa with a snap of her fingers.

  Merryway gestured to their bedroll. “You can sleep in mine.”

  “You’re just giving it up?”

  Merryway laughed. “No way! You can share it, though.”

  Thyssa swallowed. “Oh. That’s...um…oh.”

  Heart racing, she crawled into bed with Merryway.

  “You trust me that much?” asked Thyssa. “Even after…all that?”

  “Yes.”

  Thyssa looked away. “Well, uh…thanks.”

  “Thyssa?”

  Thyssa turned to Merryway. “Yeah?”

  Merryway’s face was intense. “We will get through this together. That’s a promise.”