Morrigan never saw the destruction she had caused, the storm her sadness created which stripped away everything it touched and left a mile wide crater around her. Rock, metal, marine; nothing had been safe from the destructive nature of her power.

  Through sheer luck of recognition her team survived, escaping the growing storm she subconsciously created and fleeing to the sky, leaving only her and the body of Sigurd in the center as everything around her was disintegrated into nothingness. For that, Morrigan would always be thankful; but, luck would not erase the shame she felt for losing herself to her emotions once again, the guilt of her decisions that led to her inability to control the pain she felt at the first true loss in both war and in her life.

  I gotta say, I’ve always been curious about that side of you, I’m rather impressed, Apollyon observed clearly, Maybe I should have let your sadness come out to play; may have saved you a lot of trouble in that prison, ha.

  “He’s dead… I killed him, Apollyon,” Morrigan’s voice resonated.

  Everything dies, little goddess. You should know this better than anyone, you command the power of the end; the ultimate fate for all of existence, or did you forget everything I taught you?

  Morrigan’s whimper echoed endlessly, the remnant of her cries ever-present as she spoke, “But I killed him Apollyon! He’s dead because of me… I...”

  Apollyon sighed in frustration, You obviously don't get it. You can't control whether or not something dies, child. You had nothing to do with it for that matter.

  The haunting sound of her sobs resonated all around, a grating noise Apollyon tried to ignore.

  “He wasn’t supposed to die… he promised…”

  There is no promise against death, and if he wasn’t meant to die, he wouldn't have-yet everything dies, Mori. That, is the natural law of existence. You have no control over it, you're only an essential part of it, Apollyon stated softly, the deity’s words still condescending.

  “But I let him go! I should have said no!” Morrigan screamed in dozens of volumes.

  Apollyon chuckled at the obscene rejection of reality, curious yet annoyed how Morrigan could blame herself despite the alternatives that she would have soon witnessed.

  What of everyone else? Heh, how many would you have let die if you had done so?

  Morrigan’s sobs continued to echo without origin as Apollyon continued.

  Yeah, even I can admit he’ll be missed, but he was correct all along. He traded his life for yours and everyone else’s. Let the poor man's death be the righteous sacrifice he meant it to be… Morrigan’s crying grew louder as Apollyon’s point seemed to sink in, And do me a favor and wake up already!

  ◇◇◇

  “You shall not see her!”

  Morrigan’s eyes snapped open at the sound of Xol’s gravelly roar before another voice rose in irritation.

  “We can’t keep doing this Xol. Every single time you bring her aboard unconscious, you refuse to let me near her to make sure she is alright! I’m a damned doctor for crying out loud, it’s what I do!” the voice belonged to a very frustrated Dr. Tamina.

  “M?nkee doctor,” Xol snorted in contempt.

  Morrigan forced herself to sit up at the racial insult, a spike of aggravation running through her, fighting off her stiff joints and sore muscles, “Xol… what did I tell you about saying shit like that?” she asked darkly before wincing and dragging herself upright.

  Morrigan took a moment to look around the room only to realize she was in one of the private recovery rooms aboard the Archangel, likely one of the ones closest to the lower-level hanger. The room was bare though except for Xol, brandishing his mace and blocking the doorway to keep anyone but him out.

  Part of her was relieved that Xol had acted as her guardian again. As of late, he had spent more time training crewmembers than watching over her which she thought was a nice reprieve but realized how much she needed the normalcy. The longer she was conscious the more she realized just how hollow she felt inside.

  “Mori, would you tell big, dumb and ugly here to move?” Dr. Tamina asked, her tone purposefully hostile towards the massive Kêzi’kan.

  Xol hissed in response and dropped the head of his mace against his hand as he bore down on her menacingly.

  “Xol, stop!” Morrigan barked half heartedly which caused Xol to turn and look at her curiously despite his growing irritation with the human doctor.

  “I… appreciate what you’re doing but you need to let her in… thank you though, for watching over me…” Morrigan said solemnly.

  Xol’s feelings seemed to bleed out visually as he nodded to her in a calm manner, letting out grunt of affirmation before standing upright and moving aside.

  “Finally!” Tamina exclaimed before rushing through the door with data-slate in hand as she moved around to Morrigan’s bedside, “I was honestly ready to shoot him up with enough tranquilizer to put Skoll down.”

  Morrigan cracked a fake smirk at the doctor’s musing as she suddenly wondered where Skoll was. Aside from Xol blocking the door, not that Skoll could be stopped by anyone but her, it seemed odd that her faithful companion was not by her side.

  “How are you feeling?” Dr. Tamina asked as she pulled out a small flashlight and shined it in Morrigan’s eyes.

  Morrigan ignored the light as the question asked seemed to haunt her. How was she? It was an absurd question. How else would she be? How should she be?

  Except, how was she really? Morrigan forced herself to consider before violent flashes of a bloodied Sigurd and hurricane of crimson energy filled her mind making her shake her head with a gasp.

  “I’m… I…I…” Morrigan tried to find the words to describe the sinking pit in her chest that only made the hollow feeling within her even stronger as she shook her head slowly.

  She could feel the warmth of tears beginning to well up under her eyes as she pursed her lips together.

  Dr. Tamina refrained from prodding at the young woman when she saw how distraught Morrigan was, pursing her own lips before saying, “I’m sorry… it was insensitive of me.”

  Morrigan shook her head as she felt herself slipping into desperation once again, “Where is Skoll? Where is Nora?”

  “B?r?skê is with Hi’têt,” Xol responded as he crossed his arms while Tamina answered the other question.

  Without thinking, Tamina responded, “Nora is in the room next to yours…”

  “What?! What happened to her!” Morrigan nearly shouted as she instantly panicked, feeling something other than crushing pain. Worry though, was not a better emotion as Morrigan’s energy surged around her like an arc flash, luckily missing Dr. Tamina as bolts of energy smashed into various points of the room leaving singed pock marks across the walls.

  “Mori calm down! Nora’s fine!” Tamina shouted, “Its nothing more than a mild concussion, she’s okay, I promise.”

  Morrigan’s emotional fit subsided by the certainty in Tamina’s voice though her anxiety still held itself high, “What happened?”

  Tamina huffed indignantly as she glanced around at the damage to the room, “From what I was told, Nora refused to retreat and attempted to fight her teammates until someone knocked her out. She’ll recover fully in a week or two; a few days before I let her return to service.”

  Morrigan noticed Tamina’s eyes shift towards Xol, snapping her own vision towards her stalwart guardian as her breathing began to settle.

  Xol nodded, “She did not listen,” he rumbled confirming Morrigan’s silent question. Despite the truth, Xol took the blame though he was far from guiltless during the exchange.

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  Morrigan couldn’t be mad though, partially because she knew how much of a handful Nora could be though she was still unhappy about anyone hitting her girlfriend for any reason, but mainly because her anxiety sky rocketed as she realized her life was slowly falling apart, again; Sigurd was dead, Nora had to be assaulted to keep her from doing anything dumb and Morrigan had lost control of herself.

  “I, I can’t do this… this is just too much,” Morrigan buried her face in her hands, sniffling as she rubbed her face in an attempt to get her growing anxiety in check.

  A wave of worry washed over Morrigan only for her to realize that the source was not her as a high pitch howl resonated down the hall through the open door.

  Two guards who had been standing outside her door turned at the sound of rapid and heavy pads against metal flooring before both shouting expletives and darting to the left; a comical scene that Morrigan couldn’t find the humor in as Skoll skid across the floor beyond the doorway before rapidly scrambling in place with a sharp yelp.

  Gaining traction. Skoll took off like a rocket into the room and leaped onto the hospital bed Morrigan sat in. With partial luck, the bed managed to sustain the massive weight of Skoll crashing directly into Morrigan as Skoll held her down with his front legs and manically licked at her face as he whined.

  Without saying a word, Morrigan reached her arms up and wrapped around Skoll’s neck and used her enhanced strength to pull Skoll’s neck down to her so she could bury her face into his warm, soft fur.

  After a moment, as the two bystanders within the room recovered from the erupting torrent that was Skoll, Morrigan let out a long breath. “Thank you sweetie…” she said just loud enough to be heard before pressing herself deeper into his neck.

  Dr. Tamina, as she dusted herself off having dove to the ground to avoid Skoll, sighed indignantly, “I’m surrounded by animals…” she started before Skoll looked at her from the side and let out a series of low, husky howls that mocked her frustration.

  Xol snorted which earned a glare from Dr. Tamina. Xol in return merely shrugged as he looked at the giant canine that covered his chieftain, feeling a bit relieved that the giant animal was there to keep her calm seeing as he was to be the target of her ire in the future.

  “I do apologize, Mori, but as protocol dictates; I have informed Admiral Shepard that you have awakened. I am aware that may not be desired however, I had no choice but to fulfill my directive,” Sister stated over a speaker within the room.

  The hackles on Skoll raised as he bore his fangs and let out a savage growl as if instantly agitated, electricity crackling and arcing across his fur before Morrigan sighed heavily.

  Removing her face from Skoll’s neck, she patted his shoulder regaining the creature’s attention and ceasing his primal tantrum. “It’s okay, Sister…” she said dolefully as she sniffled.

  “Admiral Shepard does not wish to rush you however; she did request you see her soon. I believe there is something she wished to discuss,” Sister informed her. Morrigan knew the A.I. meant well but that didn't erase the expected irritation and gloom.

  “Yeah… tell her I’ll be there right,” Morrigan stated reluctantly as she sighed. With a simple pat on the side, Skoll hopped off the bed too small for his size and circled the room nervously while Morrigan forced herself to sit up once more.

  “Mori, before you go I would really like to give you a check up… wait, Mori!” Dr. Tamina called out before scoffing as Morrigan silently stepped out of the room with Xol and Skoll in tow, completely ignoring her.

  ◇◇◇

  Morrigan shambled through the Archangel in a haze as she vaguely made her way in the direction of the bridge. It took a moment for her to realize that she had been taken to the med bay located in the underbelly of her ship, meaning the walk was long.

  Morrigan tried to focus on those she passed in the labyrinthine corridors except everyone seemed to avoid her by giving her a wide berth. Their faces though, try as Morrigan had, were blurred from her sight that left her with a sickening haunted feeling as she used both Skoll and the walls to keep herself upright. Part of her was terrified of her faceless crew, but on the other hand, she was deeply confused as her mind reeled as it attempted to process what happened.

  All Morrigan could remember, all she could feel, was the haunting sadness and the blood; Sigurd’s blood covering her hands, the ground and his body.

  Flashes of crimson filled her vision, each flash causing her to flinch and quiver as her despair threatened to overwhelm her as she heard the torrential howl of the storm around her, the pitch of her cry echoing outside of the whirling winds as her hands felt the warmth she couldn’t forget.

  She knew Sigurd was dead, deep down she knew it was reality, yet her mind couldn’t make sense of the truth that had coated her very hands that were still stained. She curled her fingers to feel the wet, sticky blood that gave her fingers warmth before her vision showed her the dried, cracked and flaking coating that fell from her hands onto the steel floor as her fingers moved.

  “Mori,” the familiar sound of Shepard’s voice pierced her confusion. The tone was strangely familiar though so rarely heard; the tone that of a grandmother.

  Morrigan looked up and blinked to find that she was standing on the bridge of the Archangel, though she did not recall traveling that far but what was even more odd; the bridge was empty of everyone but Shepard.

  “Where… where is everyone?” Morrigan asked tentatively, torn between thinking she was in trouble or that something had gone horribly wrong. She looked back to find that Xol still stood respectfully within the elevator, giving her a stern nod to show her that he would not move as he held his mace to block the gate of the elevator and the floor to keep it from closing.

  Skoll padded around the bridge sniffing every nook and cranny he could find as Morrigan looked forward to see Shepard sitting in Sarilla’s seat, watching the radar on the screen before the old woman looked back with one uncovered eye.

  “They are preparing, child. Currently, we sit near the second of two suns of the Orion system,” Shepard informed her in a mild tone.

  With a furrowed brow, Morrigan tried to think of a reason for them to anchor near a sun. Shepard watched Morrigan’s gaze gloss over as she realized the shutters around the bridge were down, blocking the extreme light of the star.

  “Before you ask why; it’s part of what he wanted…” Shepard sharply chuckled to herself not seeing Morrigan’s attention snap to her at the mention of “he”. “Believe it or not, the man made a will several months ago at the behest of Sister.”

  Morrigan’s heart sank at the mention of a will which served to drive the stake in a little further, even more as she could hear the subtle admiration in Shepard’s voice.

  Warm tears rolled down her cheeks as the image of Sigurd’s soft smile flashed before her eyes; the only person she knew who would smile at their own death as if peace had finally been met all the while insulting death itself.

  Skoll whined loudly to Shepard as she stood, looking between the old woman and his master, “Are you okay, deary?” Shepard’s soft tone hitting Morrigan right in the chest.

  Morrigan shook her head, her lip quivering as she fought with all she had to keep from breaking down again for fear of what may happen as Shepard took a step towards her. “I’m… no…no, I’m far from…” Morrigan’s voice cracked as she shook her heard even more.

  Go to her, kid Apollyon quietly told her.

  As if unable to resist, Morrigan opened up herself as her vision blurred red, taking a step forward.

  Shepard made no hesitation as she hastily moved forward and caught the grieving girl in her arms.

  “You might not know this, but it is the duty of every admiral on any ship within the Federation or the CoU to ensure the rites of the fallen,” Shepard said softly as Morrigan trembled, actively fighting the warring emotions in herself as crimson tears fell harder.

  Shepard held her close as Morrigan shook her head, despite their height difference, ensuring the young woman was properly supported as she continued, “Well, the Inquisition is no different, my dear. Normally it’s something small since it is rare for members to have extensive relations throughout the ship, usually allowing only the friends and few family members aboard to find true meaning behind our gesture however…”

  Shepard paused as her own fond memories of Sigurd surfaced in her mind, “I have been doing this for a long time, sweetie. Never once have i met someone so charismatic that they left so many behind in their wake, Sigurd… he left his mark on a good many of the crew.”

  Squeezing tighter as she choked on her sob, Morrigan could feel herself losing control. Subconsciously, she could not muster enough strength to cause Shepard any harm though she tightened her arms around the small old woman as hard as she could.

  With a gentle pat on the back before respectfully pushing Morrigan back and handing her a cloth from her pocket, “I tell you this for three reasons,” Shepard calmly said as Morrigan wiped the bloody tears from her face and the mucus from her nose, “One, as the Inquisitor, normally you would not be bothered with such things and…” Shepard raised her hand sternly before Morrigan could react, “I know how you feel about the matter however, this is an admiral’s duty. Secondly though, Sigurd was one of yours and I wanted to make sure you were given the opportunity to attend yourself.”

  Shepard kept the conversation professional but how she breathed in a deep breath, Morrigan could see that even Shepard was saddened by the loss of Sigurd.

  “And third… as part of his will, Sigurd wished you to have two things,” Shepard finished leaving her explanation on that note as she stepped towards her console and reached behind it.

  “One, was his sword, which I had Xol bring to your room… I had no chance in lifting it so I hope you understand as to why I can’t present it but this…” Shepard stated as she pulled the item out before turning to reveal the skull faced mask Sigurd wore, cleaned to a pristine shine.

  Morrigan choked as her eyes laid on the grim mask, nearly doubling over as she reached her hands out.

  “I wanted to give this to you as soon as I could,” Shepard stated, speaking the true reason to wish to speak to her as she let Morrigan take it from her hand and fall back into Avery’s chair.

  Something sank in as Morrigan grabbed the mask, a feeling of comfort as she stared into the hollowed eyes that hid the intricate combat visor within. In her mind, all she could hear was his laughter mixed with muffled quotes she could not understand. She brushed her thumb over the raised cheekbone of the mask as the softest smile touched her lips as she remembered the chaotic and easy-going demeanor in which Sigurd lived through.

  “When is it?” Morrigan asked in a raspy tone.

  “Tonight... in four hours, his final wish was “to be shot into the sun”,” Shepard stated barely able to hide the desire to chuckle at the absurdity.

  Morrigan, to her surprise, chuckled sharply, a wide smile across her face as a single crimson tear rolled down her cheek, “Such an asshole… but he was my asshole…” she said wiping the tear away with her rest before brushing her hand over the crown of the mask.

  Shepard gave in and let the held chuckle slip, “That he was. One that we were lucky to find in this universe.” Shepard watched as she Morrigan nodded in emotional agreement as she bit lip, “I will let you know when we’re ready. Take your time though, knowing you’re awake, I can hold off for an hour or two if you need me to.”

  Morrigan gripped the mask as she dug one of her fangs into her lower lip lightly enough to keep from piercing the skin but instill pain to help her refrain from devolving into an emotional stupor again.

  “Thank you…” Morrigan said before she stood back up and held the mask close to her chest, the blackened polished metal squeaking against the metal of her Inquisitor’s breastplate before giving Shepard a meaningful nod and turning towards the elevator where Xol waited patiently.