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What Remains

  “Can I come in now?” I asked.

  “Come in.” Alicia sat curled up on the bed, notepad resting on her legs. In her right hand, she held one of her pencils, with the two others floating beside her, all three gliding in elegant harmony as they danced across the page. She turned the page one more time; I noticed her finger was bandaged where the key’s claws had gripped and bruised it. She turned to stare at me with her silver eyes: silver eyes that were still just a little swollen, and a little red from crying. Still, she looked far better than she’d been just an hour ago.

  On the other end of the bed sat Jake, also curled up, his legs held tight against his chest with his arms wrapped tight around them. His eyes, too, were red, glowing faintly gold. His brow furrowed as his gaze seemed to fixate on me, scanning up and down my body with a scrutiny that I’d never seen him show before.

  Both just seemed to stare at me. I stood in silence for several moments before clearing my voice and speaking up. “Am I interrupting something?”

  Jake shook his head silently. Alicia set aside her notepad, pencils clattering down on top of it. She stood up and walked to me, slowly. She stared at me with the same gaze that Jake had, eyes running up and down my body, over and over and over again. Finally, she spoke, though it was only in a whisper. “It’s you.” She crushed me in her embrace. “It’s really you.”

  “What are you saying? Of course it’s me.”

  “It’s just that...” She frowned, eyes darting over to Jake for just a moment, so quick as to be imperceptible to anyone else. Anyone other than me, of course. “Oh wait. I’m not supposed to tell you. Instructor Saul told me that we shouldn’t say a word about what we saw in there.”

  “Alicia—” I started.

  “Well, a tiny bit can’t hurt,” she winked, smiling for just a second before her face returned to its gentle frown. “There are scary things in there, Iris. Illusions, yes, but so much more real than just illusions. Illusions you can touch and hold.”

  “Yeah, very real,” muttered Jake. “Too real.”

  Alicia let go of me and hurried to his side, hugging him tightly as well, patting him on the back. “There, there. It’s okay.”

  “It felt like so long,” he said. “I know that it was only a few moments, but it felt like...”

  Alicia nodded. “Yeah. Being back out here is like waking up suddenly in the middle of a dream. It’s disorienting.”

  “Yeah. It makes you want to go back to sleep,” he said.

  “Jake!” Alicia scolded.

  “Sorry.” He closed his eyes and shook his head rapidly to clear his thoughts. “Sorry. I’m not feeling quite like myself anymore. Sorry.”

  “Anyways,” my partner continued, “Instructor Saul told us to put as much as we can to paper while it’s still fresh in our minds. So that’s what I’ve been doing.”

  “And you’re just about done with my part, right?” added Jake. “So I’ll leave you two alone for a bit. Elizabeth probably wants to check in on me for today’s lessons, anyways.” He shuffled off the bed and hurried awkwardly out of the tent.

  As soon as he left, Alicia grabbed the notebook and pressed it into my hands, pretending to cover her eyes.

  “Didn’t Uncle Saul say—”

  “I know we’re not supposed to tell you anything,” she said, “But you have to read this.”

  “But—“

  “You have to,” she insisted. “It’s important, okay? Just trust me.”

  I nodded, taking the notebook but setting it aside for now. Instead, I held her hands and took a step back, looking at her from head to toe the way she’d looked at me. “I’ll take it. But right now I just want to make sure you’re okay.” Her hands were still warm, like freshly baked bread. That was something, at least. “How do you feel?"

  She brushed me away. “I’m fine, Iris. Just look at the pictures.”

  “Just tell me. If you’re going to show me anyways, why can’t you tell me?”

  “Shut up and listen to me!” Alicia put her hands on my shoulders and shook me violently. She stared into my eyes with her own, silver eyes glowing dull and faded. My hair stood on end. Or perhaps she was lifting it with her telekinetic powers. “Sorry. Just look at the pictures. Because the words won’t come out of my mouth, Iris. I can’t—” She bit her lip, as if her tongue was tied in a knot. “I can’t arrange the words in my mind. I can’t express myself with them. Not well enough. Just look, okay?” She snatched the notebook off the bed again and shoved it into my hands.

  “It’s that bad?”

  “And important. If only you knew. Iris. It’s even worse than I thought. I’ve drawn so many things this morning, and yet there’s an endless ocean still bottled up inside. Countless more visions to put to the page. I can’t get them out of my head, Iris. The pictures. The sounds, the sensations, the feelings... everything in there just sticks. Get their claws in me. I’m thinking things I probably shouldn’t. Things I definitely shouldn’t. All I can do is try to get them out.”

  “Alicia, it’s fine,” I reassured her, taking the notebook out of her hands and holding it against my chest. “Everything will be okay.”

  “I’m doubting, Iris. I feel like I need to hold on to something. I feel like I’m slipping or worse. I feat that I’ll lose faith in Polaris. Lose faith in everything she’s done for us. That I’ll be lost.”

  I squeezed her hand. “You’re not going to be lost, Alicia. I’ll make sure of that. Hold on to me. Remember where we are. Remember that I’m with you.”

  She smiled and pulled me back into a hug. “Thanks, Iris. That’s the confident, dependable partner that I love. Even if you are a little melodramatic.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “You’re not going to be lost, Alicia,” she mimicked, holding back laughter. “You thought that was so cool, didn’t you?”

  “We were having a moment!”

  She laughed again, but her smile faded as her eyes landed again on the notebook, which she scooped up and slid carefully into my bag. “Thanks.”

  ***

  Uncle Saul’s tools and instruments were scattered in the air around him, each metal hook and wooden handle polished to a shine. One by one, they flew toward the key that he had suspended in the air before him, prodding and tugging at the material. Engrossed in his work, he didn’t even acknowledge that I’d entered the tent until I called him.

  “What do we have here, uncle?” I asked.

  The tools clattered to the floor, though the metal sphere of the key remained suspended in the air, its mechanical legs whirring in the air, seeking something to grab onto. My uncle turned his head just long enough to see who I was before returning to his work. “It’s a key alright,” he said. “Jake was right about that. The trouble is, how did it get here? Did it walk? These things don’t come from nowhere.”

  He tossed an object my way.

  “This is the key you were going to use?” I asked.

  “Yep. A little more... fitting, don’t you think?”

  It was larger, a hefty sphere fitting comfortably in the palm of my hand. While the trinket we’d found last night was brassy, this was polished chrome, not a single dent nor scratch in its surface. Instead of the symbol of Antares cut roughly into it, here the symbol was clean, nearly machined into the surface, the mark highlighted in gold that shone somehow even brighter against the silvery backing. Looking from one to the other, the tiny piece that had opened up the Cradle this morning looked like a piece of junk. “Does it make a difference what it looks like?”

  “I’m... not sure exactly what makes it work,” Uncle Saul admitted. “I’d been studying the piece that our Patron had given us but this thing is a lot less straightforward. Knowing what it is, though, perhaps I’ll try some more invasive techniques.” He smiled, plucking it from my left hand and lifting a few wicked-looking tools from the floor. “That is, if I can get it to stay still. Anyways, what brings you here?”

  “Where’s Jonathan—”

  “Excuse me?”

  I rolled my eyes. “Where’s Instructor Jonathan gone off to?”

  “He’s out looking for the skeleton of the Excaeli that you two purified last night.” After seeing my puzzled expression, he explained. “Well, isn’t it a bit odd that some random Excaeli wandering the forest at night had one of these on it?”

  “Oh. Right.” And wasn’t it odd that Jonathan had said this key was a harmless trinket, too? But I held my tongue.

  “Is it time for your lessons?” he asked.

  I nodded, handing him back the large key. He took it with one hand and tossed it into the air. Rather than falling, he caught it with his telekinetic powers, leaving it suspended in place as he returned to focusing on the other key. “His footsteps should still be fresh.”

  I thanked him for the advice as I hurried out back into the snow.

  ***

  The snow was soft and powdery. Our footsteps from last night had been somewhat filled by the wind that endlessly whistled through the trees. Still, my instructor’s trail was indeed easy to follow; his deep footsteps retraced Alicia’s and mine deep into the Corruption.

  In the daytime, the forest seemed much less threatening. The blanket of snow had dusted everything in a thin layer that sparkled like diamonds in the sunlight. Under such conditions, the thorns and barbs and blades on all the foliage seemed no more than harmless decorations. The scales that doubtless still skittered beneath the snow were out of sight, if not quite out of mind, though occasionally one or two would glimmer from a tree trunk or skid over the surface of the snow. Little messengers of Antares spying on us, although it wasn’t like burning them would do any good. For every one that was visible, thousands more scurried beneath the ground, and in the trees, and even suspended in the air. Only Polaris’s light could purge the Corruption that they spread.

  My instructor was kneeling in front of the charred skeleton of the Excaeli from last night, carefully examining the bones scattered in the snow, humming a melody to himself without a care in the world. As I approached, he tossed one bone far off to the side.

  I ran the last few steps toward him. “Jonathan! We’re supposed to be training now.”

  “Oh, is that so?” He barely looked up from the bones. Up close, the blackened pieces scarcely looked like the puppet they’d been a part of. I suppose that made sense. It was the scales that held the bones together and gave them their uncanny likeness. Without those, the bones seemed hardly more than blackened sticks, devoid of form and divorced from their sinister purposes.

  “Is that so? Do you have nothing better to say? Jonathan! You’re my instructor! You can’t just—”

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  “Slow down, Iris. You can loosen up a bit.”

  “Loosen up? What, am I just too serious? Is that a thing that you can be, now? First Alicia, and now—”

  “Alicia? Alicia said that you’re too serious?” My instructor turned his head to face me.

  “She said to loosen up. And now you’ve said it too. Jonathan, I don’t wanna be the sort of person who takes everything too seriously. Like, am I crazy? Alicia’s the one who’s too carefree around the Corruption. Sure, we’ve never lost, never failed, never had so much as a scratch, but it’s.... it’s the Corruption. It’s the place of Antares herself, twisted Patron doing everything she can to warp us into her image. We must be perfect. Doesn’t that mean keeping our guard up at all times?”

  He stood up and put a hand on my shoulder. “You’re not crazy, Iris. We’re all concerned about the Corruption. But have a little faith in yourself. Alicia does. Maybe all she wants is for you to see that too.”

  “I... I guess.”

  “And for the record, I agree with her. You’re going to be fine. It’s not healthy to be anxious like that. Remember, you’re my dear student. The best and brightest student I’ve ever had.”

  “Jonathan, please. I’m the only student you’ve ever had.”

  “Doesn’t make it wrong.” He smiled.

  “Is there a reason, then, that you told us that that... thing was just a harmless trinket last night? Figured your best and brightest student would figure it out on her own?”

  He paused. “It was an accident.”

  An accident? My instructor was an even worse liar than Alicia. “How could you, of all people, make a mistake like that? You expect me to believe you?”

  “There are things that I don’t know, Iris. I know that’s hard to believe.”

  “You know what? That’s not actually that hard to believe.”

  “Then believe it.” He tapped me on the forehead. Though he looked me straight in the eye as he did it, there was still a sense of fogginess in his expression, a dullness behind the fire in his glowing golden eyes. It was just enough to make me wonder if he was hiding something. Then again, he held that expression so often it was hard to say if it meant anything at all. “But right, yes. The lesson. Lesson, lesson, lesson. Um... How’s your lightning going?” Cutting right to the chase, wasn’t he? Even put on the spot like this, my instructor knew exactly where I’d been slacking off.

  “It’s, well—“

  “Don’t tell me. Show me.”

  I shot my instructor a look. He smiled back and nodded, eyes glowing softly as he flourished his hands, letting little trails of white electricity fly between his fingertips. He closed his hands, letting the sparks die and crossing his arms over his chest expectantly.

  I held out my hands in the same position, fingers spread, palms facing each other. I closed my eyes, feeling out the sparks of energy coursing through my veins. All that was left was to tap into them. A few faint sparks flew between my hand before fizzling out. Pathetic. Come on, Iris. You could do better than that.

  “You haven’t been practising, have you?”

  I smiled, embarrassed. “Sorry. I’ve been meaning to, but—”

  “But you’ve been distracted by Alicia’s presence here these past few days.”

  “Well we’ve been apart for so long. I just want to spend as much time with her as I can, Jonathan. You understand, don’t you?”

  He smiled. “I understand. I’m proud of how far you’ve gone as it is. You’re progress these past few months has been absolutely stellar. You’ve got nothing to worry about.”

  “What? But you’re... I’m barely able to make these tiny sparks, while you’re flinging lightning like it’s nothing. And you’ve been training me for years now. Years! I should be better. I need to be—”

  “Iris. Just because you’re—because you’re going to take my place doesn’t mean you have to be exactly the same as me. I started out just like you. And right now, as you see me, I have a little bit of extra help.” He pressed a hand against his neck, the necklace glowing at his touch, ornate patterns engraved into his skin that marked him as the Daughter of Polaris. The same necklace that would mark me someday. “Before I inherited this gift, I was... well, Saul and I were sort of troublemakers, just like you and Alicia are sometimes. Honestly, we were probably worse. And I wasn’t flinging lighting back then, let me tell you that.”

  “But even then, you’re—”

  “I’m not special, Iris. I’m just the inheritor of something that is. But you are special.” His warm hands were on my wrists and fingers, adjusting and correcting the mistakes in my form. I concentrated again, and a thin line of electricity flew between my index fingers, the beam wavering in the winter wind but holding steady nonetheless.

  “I’m not a kid anymore, Jonathan. You don’t need to tell me that I’m special just to make me feel better.”

  “I’m telling you the truth. Polaris really, really cares about you, even more than all the other Luminare. She cares about you more than each and every one of us. She picked each of us, chose to snatch us from the jaws of death to serve her higher calling. But even among her handpicked, she chose you. And even though I, or Saul, or ‘Liz or even Irene couldn’t see anything in you, she told us all that you would be the next to bear this mantle. To be her daughter. And to be my student. She changed the rules just for you. And, looking back on it, she chose right.”

  “But there are so many Luminare. And I can’t compare to you. I can’t compare to Uncle Saul. To Instructor Elizabeth or Irene. You’re all so much... have done so much...” The sparks between my hands fizzled out again. So much more than I’ve ever done to prove my worth, I wanted to say.

  “We’re older, Iris. Each generation shines brighter than the last. It was true for us. And I’m sure it’ll be true of you as well. Polaris does not make mistakes. Our Patron does not choose wrong.” He re-adjusted my wrists. “Try again.”

  I closed my eyes and concentrated, letting the gentle coils of energy coalesce around my fingertips. A few more arcs formed to connect them. “I know, I know,” I said. “I’ll live up to you. To what’s expected of me.” I had to.

  He put his hand on my shoulder and steadied me. I hadn’t even realized I’d been shaking. “Let me tell you a story,” he said. I let his words wash over me, my concentration still fixated on the brilliant energy flowing between my hands. “It was during the last wave of purification. The Corruption had spread even further, tendrils of metal snaking across our land, encroaching even on the fringes of the Citadel of Lumis. It was early in the autumn; the crops were being rushed to harvest, the great combine harvesters thundering across the fields to bring in every last husk, lest they succumb to the spreading blight and be lost to us. Novatica’s army routed before the unending tide of Excaeli, the Luminare were called in as the final line of defence.”

  Though my eyes were still glued to the gossamer beam of energy flowing from finger to finger, my mind’s eye was racing. I saw the Citadel, its gleaming spires dwarfed by the great lighthouse rising some three hundred metres into the sky above the endless plains, light shining as a beacon even as the darkness clawed at its borders. I felt the rumble of the harvesters, towering hunks of metal, mechanisms pushed by ten or twenty, leaving only tremors and trampled earth in their wake. I smelled the wet autumn air, the mud, the fresh rain and fallen leaves. I’d been there, after all, just two years ago. Spent the end of the year walking those same fields, scouring each hedgerow in the shadow of the Citadel lighthouse, burning each and every trace of Corruption that sought a fresh foothold in those lands.

  “I was your age, back then. Maybe a bit older. The blessing of Lumis had not yet been granted to me, I was just one of many Luminare who answered our Patron’s call. Polaris herself was busy, tending to important business in the old country. But we knew she was returning. We knew we didn’t have to stop the Excaeli. We just had to slow them down. My instructor at the time was—”

  “Magdalene.“

  Jonathan nodded. “Magdalene. She was... well, she’s been somewhat overshadowed in the time since, hasn’t she? The statues and plaques may have faded a bit already, but let me tell you, to me, she was everything I am to you and more. She had no partner left, but even so, alone, she was stronger than any pair among us. While many of us, especially the younger ones, were apprehensive at the task that faced us, just the fact that she was there, that Magdalene was standing among us... well, it sure helped a lot.”

  “Yeah, I know. You talk about her a lot.”

  Jonathan chuckled. “Then please remember to talk about me all the time, too. Now, where was I? Right. Magdalene was never much for making lightning. Nothing like that. But alone she stood and did more than ten, singlehandedly holding our position even as the other groups faltered one by one and broke, running for the Citadel. As each one left formation, she did not even turn her head. They had not been perfect, and in their failure had scorned our Patron. But she would be perfect. I knew she would. We were standing right behind her, watching her shine. Her eyes. Her eyes! The most brilliant gold, like staring into the sun as she turned the tide aside with her light and flames. We were holding the line. Even until Antares came.”

  Antares. Of course. It always was her, of course. Sometimes disguised in almost human trappings, the lady in pale dress, the scales of her skin just barely glimmering up close. In those moments, she could look nearly human. Or so they said. But at other times, the dread queen was far more fearsome.

  “She stood in full battle dress, a titan on the field, wreathed in thorns, gleaming bronze. Before her, everyone scattered. How could we not? But Magdalene stood firm. She stood up against the dread queen all on her own. Perhaps for revenge for her partner. Perhaps for some other reason. She glowed brighter than I’d ever seen, shining like Polaris herself, the necklace of Lumis glowing around her neck as she stood to face the Patron of Corruption.”

  “And then what?”

  “And then she died.”

  For the briefest moment, lightning flashed between my fingers, white-hot and blinding. Then, as quickly as it had come, it went dark, leaving only the fuzzy echoes of its arcs tingling at my fingertips.

  “One hit. That was it. One little touch of Antare’s blade and she fell to her knees, and the Excaeli all around surged in and tore her to pieces. I knew she was dead, though I couldn’t see a shred of her blue uniform in all the sea of scales that surged. I knew, for the blessing of Lumis— the mantle of Polaris’s daughter—had burned itself into my neck. I was upset, to put it mildly. I lashed out. That was the first time that I made lightning. Was pretty spectacular, Saul would say, I’m sure. But for me, it didn’t feel any different at all. I was so consumed with rage and sorrow for my Instructor that I could not see the joy or spectacle. Only rage.”

  “What happened next?”

  “My lightning raged.” Jonathan gently tapped the backs of my hands and electricity flared back to life between my fingers. “And the thunder followed. Everything went silent. Or maybe my hearing had been blown out by the noise, I’m not sure. But the Excaeli were scattered. Even Antares was taken aback. She simply stared at me for a bit before continuing her approach. I... I distracted her. Nothing more. We stalled.”

  “We?”

  “Saul, of course. At my side, with his Complement protecting me, and, well, even that only for a few moments. Lightning flashed. Her blade met steel time and time again. We held her off just long enough for Polaris to return, brilliant and bright, and overwhelming. With her, order was restored. The land was purified by her fire. The dread queen Antares was banished. She ran. The land was saved.”

  His voice rang bittersweet, and I knew why. That land had already been lost again. By last spring it had been all too late. Now, the Citadel’s doors were locked shut, the lush fields overrun. Thickets of sharp-edged razorgrass and thorny stems of silverleaf poking through the earth, their roots deep-set and unyielding. And we’d had no time to linger there, no task to save them, to burn away the blight that festered in the earth. Only a moment to pause, to speak with the residents caged up in their tower before moving on to more pressing matters. “Was it all for nothing?” I finally asked. “The plains are already lost again.”

  “Iris, light is a virtue in and of itself. Even if the end result is the same, there is beauty and glory in our righteousness, in our struggle for our Patron’s cause. As our enemy grows stronger and stronger, as our world grows darker, so our light grows brighter. Polaris shines more brilliant than ever. These are the end times. The twilight of the world. And we stand before... an ending.” He gently turned my head to face the Cradle again. “The Corruption may be at its greatest extent, Novatica’s forces as fractured and aimless as ever, but from the darkest darkness shines the brightest light. And ours is not the burden of vanquishing the dread queen Antares ourselves. Even the brightest mortals can only slow her down. Ours is only the duty to do what we can, to persevere until Polaris comes and brings salvation for us all. To do whatever it takes to win back what was taken, to win the little battle that turns the tide in this endless war.” Jonathan looked to me and sighed. “Iris. I don’t know when, but the day will come when you will be the great one. Where I am remembered merely as another fading Luminare, while you’ll be the star.”

  “You’re being silly.”

  “Believe it, Iris. In this present darkness, you’ll shine brighter than me or Saul, or anyone else. Once you’ve inherited your birthright as Polaris’s child, I’m so excited for what you’ll do.”

  “But you won’t be around to see that,” I said, looking down.

  “I can still be excited for you,” he said. “I know that it’s a scary prospect. A huge responsibility. But it will happen. And you won’t have to bear it alone. You’ll have the strongest Patron at your back. Are you prepared for that?”

  “It’s too early.”

  “I’m past my prime, Iris. I’m not so young anymore. I’m sure the time will come when I must pass on this mantle to you. And it might be sooner than you expect.”

  Something felt off. “What’s going on?” I asked. “You’re going to die? Has Polaris told you—”

  He raised both hands. “Slow down, Iris. Don’t worry. I’m not going anywhere just yet. But I’m going to ask you again. Are you prepared to take this?” He pressed a finger hand against his neck, letting Lumis’s necklace glow again, filigree patterns of gold traced into his skin. Then he pressed that same finger to my neck. An echo of those same patterns shone ever-so-faintly against me. It felt warm and sweet, like one of Alicia’s cookies.

  “I’ll do one better. I’ll take that.” I pointed to the Cradle. The message was clear. We’d reclaim the necklace that had been stolen deep inside. Not the echo of an echo that I’d inherit from him, but the original one, the pure gift of Polaris to her blood daughter in the times long past. “And you’ll be alive to see it.” The uncertainty and fear of the earlier hours evaporated, leaving only the same sharp purpose I’d had in the sky last evening. How easily it had started to slip! But thankfully my teacher had known perfectly well how to bring it back.

  Jonathan laughed, slapping me on the back. “I expected nothing less from you Iris. I know you’ll do me proud.”

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