Volume 2 Chapter 25

  “Who comes before the front gate of the palace of the emperor today?” Renton shouted. “I say, the emperor has asked, who has come to the front gate! Shout your names if you wish for the emperors ears to hear you!”

  “Tanshen appears before the front gate today!” Pao shouted.

  Tan turned and looked at his friend, who simply shrugged, but said no other words. “I didn’t say that.”

  “What did you say? Repeat that!”

  “Tanshen said ‘I didn’t say that!’” Pao reported.

  “What nonsense is that! You say that your name is Tanshen and then you say that your name is not Tanshen? Speak clearly if you wish your name to reach the emperor’s ears!”

  “I speak the name of who comes before the palace gate today. I speak the name Tanshen in the voice of Tanshen!” Pao shouted.

  “I didn’t say that,” tan repeated.

  “Tanshen says he didn’t say that!” Pao shouted.

  “This is nonsense,” Tan complained.

  “Tanshen says ‘this is nonsense.’” Pao shouted.

  “If you’re going to repeat everything I say then I’m just not going to talk, Pao.”

  “Tanshen says ‘if you’re going to repeat everything I say, then I’m just not going to talk, Pao.’ As his voice, I shall continue to speak for him, since he seems to have forgotten his lines in this play!” Pao shouted.

  The crowd began to laugh, and Tan’s ears began to burn.

  “This sucks.”

  “Tanshan says this sucks!”

  “The emperor’s ears have heard the name Tanshen! When the emperor asked who came to the front gate today, Tanshen’s voice answered! Tanshen comes to the front gate today, and the emperor does bid Tanshen welcome to his palace! Tanshen is extended the following privileges! He may come and go from any gate of the palace that he chooses. He may bathe in the imperial bath. He may sleep in the imperial bed. He may study in the imperial library. He may examine the imperial treasury, and take from the treasury one treasure for payment of his services to the empire. What say Tanshen to the generosity of the emperor?”

  “Whatever,” Tan said, crossing his arms.

  “Whatever the emperor wills that Tanshen is to be given then Tanshen accepts humbly in the name of the empire,” Pao shouted.

  “I didn’t say that!” Tan shouted.

  “Tanshen says that he did not say that, however, his voice did say ‘I didn’t say that!’”

  The crowd began to laugh.

  “Tanshen is instructed by the emperor to present himself to the imperial throne and kowtow before it. All servants of the empire are required to kowtow before the imperial throne, even the first servant of the empire! Will Tanshen perform this service for the empire today?”

  This time, Pao was silent.

  “You actually have to answer this, Tan,” his father said. “Will you kowtow before the throne of the emperor today?”

  “Do I have to?” Tan asked, and Pao repeated his words.

  “If you wish to be crowned emperor one day, then you must kowtow to the throne of the empire,” Tren said. “So it’s up to you. If you’ve changed your mind about being recognized as the imperial heir, then we can just turn around and go home.”

  “What about them,” Tan asked, motioning towards the thousands of people watching.

  “Renton promised them a show, and he’ll give them one,” Tren answered, “Whether we’re here or not.”

  “I guess I’ll do it,” Tan said.

  “Tanshen says that he shall kowtow before the throne of the emperor today!” Pao announced.

  The crowd began to cheer.

  “Excellent!” Renton shouted. “However, before you kowtow before the throne of the sitting emperor, we must thoroughly establish that you have the right to bear the imperial presence. So I ask you this, and require you to answer honestly. Who was your father?”

  Tan answered.

  “My father was the imperial Dirt Farmer,” Pao shouted.

  “And who was your mother.” Renton asked.

  Tan, glaring at Pao, answered again.

  “My mother was a beauty beyond compare, so wonderful that she could steal the heart of the emperor himself!” Pao announced.

  “Be tho warned that you shall be called to testify to the truth of your words before the emperor. The emperor himself shall hold a blade to your neck today! Hear this hear this, the emperor himself shall hold a blade to the neck of Tanshen today! And to the necks of Tanshens hands, and the necks of Tanshen’s voice! Hear this!”

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  The crowd, for some reason, cheered at this proclamation. Tan shook his head.

  “This is stupid,” Tan muttered.

  “Tanshan says—”

  “It’s tradition,” Tren said. “It’s not too late to go back home.”

  “Tanshen says this is stupid,” Pao reported. “His father says that this is tradition.”

  “Indeed this is a tradition! It is a grand tradition that when the emperor hears the name of a servant of note, he shall invite them before the imperial throne and ask that they kowtow to the throne! The emperor has heard the name Tanshen and the empire is looking for a servant with that name! The name of Tanshen shall be known the name of a servant of the empire!”

  The crowd again cheered.

  “I’m completely lost. I don’t get this at all,” Tan said.

  “Tanshen says—”

  With Pao repeating every word that he said, Tan decided to simply shut up for the rest of this farce.

  “The emperor asks this of Tanshen! Be though a mortal, or be though a cultivator?”

  “Tanshen answers that he is a cultivator beyond compare,” Pao answers. “His voice declares that Tanshen is a cultivator beyond compare!”

  Abruptly Won shouted “His right hand declares that Tanshen is a cultivator beyond compare!”

  Ko too shouted “His left hand declares that Tanshen is a cultivator beyond compare!”

  “Oh? And Tanshen does speak like an emperor, does he? Does Tanshen declare himself emperor of the Blue Dragon Empire?”

  “Tanshen’s voice declares that if the empire would have him serve as emperor, that he would fulfill that role with the honor and dignity required of the emperor!” Pao shouted.

  “Keep it up, child, and you might just have my job someday,” Renton said, and the crowd laughed.

  “Be it known that Tanshen is a cultivator, and that his voice is a cultivator and his left hand is a cultivator and his right hand is a cultivator! What element does Tanshen cultivate!”

  “In Tanshen’s voice he cultivates the earth. In Tanshen’s left hand hand he cultivates the seas! In his right, he cultivates fire! In his body, he cultivates the azure sky!” Pao shouted.

  “Is that so? A true master of the elements! We shall demand of Tanshen that he display his mastery of the arts of cultivation before the imperial court. Be though prepared to have yourself weighed and measured before the court?”

  The clearing before the courtyard was entirely silent as they waited for Tan to answer. Pao did not speak.

  “Tan, this is another question that you must answer. Will you allow the court to see you weighed and measured?” Tren told his son.

  “Whatever, let’s just get this farce over with,” Tan said, and Pao repeated his words verbatim.

  The crowd cheered.

  “Why then, it sounds like today an emperor has appeared before the front gate! Tanshen does speak like an emperor, he does cultivate like an emperor? Tell me, what empire does Emperor Tanshen serve?”

  Silence.

  “Answer the question, Tan,” His father said. “Or we can turn around and go home if you prefer.”

  “I serve the Bue Dragon Empire,” Tan muttered, and the crowd drew its breath.

  “And I suppose that next you shall say that your surname is Shenlong, and that you are the son of the emperor himself! Did your father teach you how to speak like an emperor, cultivate like an emperor, and act like an emperor?”

  “Tanshen’s father is the imperial dirt farmer,” Pao declared proudly before Tan could answer. “In his body the father of Tanshen cultivates the earth. In his youth, Tanshen’s father was a member of the former emperor’s court and served him faithfully for many years. So to answer the emperors questions, yes. Tanshen’s father did teach him to cultivate like an emperor, and to speak like an emperor, and to act like an emperor at all times. However, last night the voice of his body did not read the lines of this play. Fortunately, his voice was instructed by the emperor how to speak, and empowered by the emperor to speak for the emperor today.”

  The crowd began to laugh. Tan’s face burned as the words were put into his mouth by his best friend.

  “Wonderful, wonderful. Now then. I ask Tanshen this question. Be though a warrior?”

  “Tanshen answers that his body does wield a sword, that his left hand does wield a staff, and that his right hand does wield a bow, and that his throat wields a warhammer.”

  “Why, those are traditional weapons of the emperor! Present these weapons to the empire! The emperor demands that the weapons of Tanshen be presented for his inspection. Draw your sword, Tanshen!”

  Tan, looked around, then reluctantly drew his sword.

  “Why I recognize that blade!” Renton shouted. “The last time I saw the imperial court saw that blade it was in the hands of the emperor himself! Whose hand gave you that blade, boy?”

  “My father,” Tan said, and Pao repeated.

  “That is not the weapon of a dirt farmer, that is the weapon of a swordmaster of the empire, worthy of being wielded by the emperor himself! What say you, do you claim that you are worthy of that blade?”

  “My father gave me this blade!” Tan said. “If he says that I am worthy of this blade then I am, so ask him not me! He might be a farmer, but he taught me everything I know. I would trade him for no other! I hate this entire stupid play! Why do I have to do this father?”

  Pao blinked, then repeated the words loudly.

  “It is a tradition, son,” Tren shouted. “When a master of the blade presents themselves before the imperial court, they are to bring with them their sharpest sword. They are to present it to the court for inspection. They are to display their skill before the eyes of the court. And if then the emperor gives them a sword in exchange for the one that they brought, to display the level in which their skill has pleased the emperor.”

  “Wait, what?” Tan asked.

  “Never mind.”

  “I ask the body of Tanshen, will you display your skill in the blade now? Just as we have practiced, on the farm of your father, you and I? Will you test your blade against the strength of my cultivation?”

  Tan thought for a while. He sighed. “Let’s just get this over with,” Tan declared.

  The crowd cheered, and Renton smiled. “Prepare yourself to face the avatars of the emperor, Tanshen! In five minutes, we shall begin act two!”

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