My arm went off at 5:30AM. It sent Alice into a panic and that’s how I found out Alice’s powers had combat applications. I opened my eyes and she was staring at the annoyance like it had just put her mother in a mental asylum and moved her out to the boonies so it could forcemasc her. Her fingers had morphed into long, sharp cws and her teeth were protruding several inches past her chin. She was also growling menacingly. Going to be honest, it was a terrifying thing to wake up to and I might have screamed a bit. Taking this as another threat, Alice screamed back. Thank Sgt. Hale’s ghost I don’t have neighbours or roommates.

  After I managed to scream myself horse I thought to just shut off the arm. I then wandered over to the sink and poured myself a gss of water. (I didn’t actually have indoor plumbing. I had a few pstic bottles I fill from a river and hook up to something like a soda streamer. That system had a drain plumbed to a hole someone dug outside. Basically a smaller version of my outhouse. I tried to use it sparingly. I didn’t want to have to dig another hole)

  Once I was a bit less parched I expined to Alice that that was basically a fancy arm clock. “But why did you set it so early? Its still dark out” she moaned. “I said we’d pick them up at 6:30. That means getting up at 5am to make sure we have enough time to get ready” I said. “You don’t need that long to get ready” moaned Alice. “Welcome to being a girl sister. I actually left us pretty tight for time to be honest” I said.

  First was breakfast. You might think a teenager eating cocoa puffs to be immature or childish or just pin health unconscious. I defy you to care after being raised by a man who thought a raw egg to put some hair on one’s chest is an acceptable first meal of the day. “Are we seriously eating chocote for breakfast?” gasped Alice. “Sure, why not?” I shrugged. “You know I’ve only had this like, twice in my life, right?” she said. “I’ll buy you a big bar of it while we’re out to share with your brother” I said with a shrug. A 2 dolr bar of chocote wasn’t going to put me in the red.

  While we ate I put on a pot of boiling water so we could wash. “Is that a propane stove?” Alice gasped, noticing the blue fme. “Sure, it gets up to temperature much quicker than a wood stove, which is good because sometimes I get too engrossed in a movie and forget to eat so needing an hour to get the stove up to temperature really doesn’t work for me” I chuckled. “But where do you get the propane? The elders can only get their hands on 3 or 4 bottles a month” she said. “Propane’s not exactly a restricted substance. Its mainly used for barbecues actually, which are like outdoor cookers and half the people in Texas have them. You can just buy it” I said cheerily.

  After breakfast I hung my duvet from the rafters to create a privacy curtain. Then I added some soap fkes to the washing water and then gave Alice a fresh sponge and told her to wash. Instead of doing that, she stripped down to her underwear, walked outside in the freezing cold and then shed the top yer of her skin like a snake. I almost saw my cocoa puffs again. “Oh don’t be so dramatic, I have a healing factor anyway” she said with a dismissive eyeroll. I sighed, and then picked up a DVD-R beled “makeup tutorial” off the shelf and loaded it into the pystation. I then left her with my own collection of cheap makeup that wasn’t the stuff used in the tutorial but was within my very limited budget and quickly washed my own body down.

  When I was finished, I returned to see my makeup untouched and Alice looking absolutely on point. “Shapeshifting, remember?” she ughed. “Alice I don’t think eyelids can naturally glitter purple. How are you even doing that?” I asked. “You know the way the blue morpho butterfly isn’t actually blue its just doing something fancy with kera… whatever hair’s made out of?” she asked. My brain had to take a moment to reboot. One, where had she even heard of that insect? Two how did she know it wasn’t actually blue whatever that means? Three what is a blue morpho butterfly doing with keratin, I’m curious now. Four, how was Alice replicating the effect with shapeshifting when she can’t even pronounce keratin?

  “Hey, did you have to… practice to get so good at shapeshifting?” I asked. “Well stuff like making myself shorter or taller came naturally, but stuff like green hair and purple eyelids actually took a lot of practice” she admitted. Damn. I guess when something interests the girl she’s suddenly Amelia Earhart.

  My own makeup took close to half an hour and still looked terrible. My hair took another 20 minutes to comb it straight and another fifteen to style it because I had the hubris to put it in pigtails. Not for the first time I imagined what it would look like with one of the dyes I picked up in various dolr stores over the past few months. But there was no time left for that. Victoria and the girls would probably be on their way to the rendezvous point already and we still had to pick out outfits. I had never seen Alice in a skirt before and I was curious.

  I offered her one of my spare urban coco ones as well as a pair of long, warm socks. Nothing trans coloured though. Can’t afford to draw attention today and while there’s no accounting for an asshole with a bug up his ass, any precaution that reduces the chance of a conflict is worth taking. Even if it would mean the cool enby with a nose ring and spiky boots wouldn’t accost us either. I also gave her a fresh bra, having found out she’d been wearing the one I gave her in gym css since the day I’d given it to her. (When did I give her a bra? Was it the day of the head injury? Yeah, the math checks out on that one). I put it in the undry bag with my own stuff.

  In terms of tee-shirts I lent her one which said “The witch they couldn’t burn”. I reckoned the risk was minor and if we did encounter a witchhunter the sheer audacity of it would buy us a few extra seconds to teleport out or maybe shank them. My own tee read “I’m with stupid”, not that anyone would be able to see it.

  Armoured for battle, we climbed into Sgt. Hale’s car and rode out.

  Victoria turned out to be a tall redhead. Not so tall as Leah, but a good 5‘11“. When we arrived, Leah had managed to partially transform so she was covered in fur without the bone extending stuff. Shift her ears too and she’d probably be able to attend a furry convention. Her arms were wrapped around Rose and she was whispering something in her ear.

  I pulled up the car and got out. “Okay, so here’s whats going to happen. Leah is tallest so she gets shotgun. Alice, you’re smallest so you take the middle seat” I said. This started a row. Alice didn’t want to sit next to Rose or Leah. Leah wanted to sit next to Rose. Victoria wanted to drive.

  “Do you have a license?” I asked. “A… what?” she asked back. “Do you know the rules of the road?” I asked. “The road has rules” she asked with a frown. “You’re not fucking driving” I said. “I’m the adult! Wouldn’t a 14 year old driving get us pulled over by the cops?” she retorted. I pulled out my drivers license. It might have a fake address, date of birth and technically a fake name but if someone followed the paper trail it would actually check out. I had been resident in that apartment when it was issued, or at least the owner would remember me as so. And while the judge who granted my application for an emergency driving permit might not remember my case specifically, his records would.

  “I still think the adult should drive” she said. “What do the pedals do, right to left?” I snapped. “Right one speeds up, left one slows down” she said smugly. “And the other one?” I queried. “There’s three of them?” she gasped. “On old cars, yes” I said. “Can’t I just ignore the third one?” she asked. “Nope, it changes everything about how you get the car up to speed. You need to know the trick just to take off and I don’t have time to teach you and piloting you with mind control would take more energy than just driving myself. You’re not driving and that’s final”.

  “The elders said I was in charge” she said darkly. “In charge of Alice, Rose and Leah, yes. In charge of me if I start getting catty with them or you, yes. But you don’t know how to drive a car. So don’t pull rank when you’re out of your depth. Okay?” I said. She bunched her hand into a fist and gritted her teeth for a few seconds. Then she defted. “Fine. Can I at least have the other front seat? I’m doing this to get new teleport locations and the view from the back won’t be as good.” she said. I sighed. “Fine. Okay. Alice, are you okay with sitting next to Rose but not Leah?” I asked. “That freak isn’t sitting next to Rose” snapped Leah.

  I took a deep breath. “If you’d prefer I could uninvite one or both of you. Would that be preferable?” I said testily. Leah’s face fell. “No! Please don’t! We’ll be cool. Its fine, I’ll take the middle seat” she said. “Not an option. That’s the most cramped seat and you’re the biggest person and we’re going to be on the road for hours.” I said. I turned to Victoria. “Could you maybe take one of the back seats to keep the peace?” I asked. “Why not leave Alice behind. She’s the one causing problems, right?” asked Victoria. Leah physically picked Rose up and took three steps backwards. I fixed Victoria with a disapproving scowl.

  She looked over at the furball who was shielding Rose with her body. “What?” she asked quietly. “Don’t you ever talk that way about Alice again or I will kill you, bring you back to life, beat the shit out of you and then kill you again” I responded. “Whoa, temper dude!” she said. “Don’t call me dude asshole” I snapped. “HEY!” snapped Leah. “Can we just decide and get in the car already, I’m freezing my tail off here”.

  “Right. Alice: Shotgun. Victoria: behind Alice. If you see a good teleport point I’ll just stop the car. Leah, behind me. Rose, middle seat. Everyone happy? Or should we all go home?” I snapped. Victoria sighed. “Okay, fine”. We all piled into the car. I demonstrated my seatbelt and when Leah and Rose took more than ten seconds to figure them out I mind controlled them into putting them on. Victoria managed hers after 8 and a half seconds. Apparently she’d seen a car up close at some point. Alice of course had put one on when I’d driven her home that night. And then we took off.

  I have a lot of things to say about my father, and most of its terrible. But I will hand it to the man. He taught me to drive when I was 7 and to this day I’ve never had a road accident. He was a really good driver and a reasonably good teacher. Honestly those driving lessons are some of my few happy memories with the guy. However when I say good driver I do not mean safe and when I say he taught me to drive he taught me to drive like I’m being chased by the feds.

  I accelerated down the mountain. I probably shouldn’t have been driving so fast, but I knew my reaction times well enough to say we were probably safe. There wasn’t really a road as such, and the dirt track was bumpy and lumpy so the car shook like a politician on election day. “Could we slow down please?” asked Rose. “It would take forever to get down the mountain otherwise” I said with a shrug. I took a sharp handbrake turn and Leah bumped her head on the window. “Dude!” she compined. “I said not to call me that” I griped. I took another sharp turn the other direction and Victoria and Alices’ faces met gss. “FUCK! Are you sure you know what you’re doing?” Victoria compined. “Rex, I’ve been doing this since I was 7” I said.

  After a couple of minutes of driving like an Ambunce (or someone pnning to take a ride in one) the mountain gave way to the maze. A circuitous network of winding dirt roads to nowhere with a sprinkling of rge boulders randomly strewn about which served to ensure any potential visitors to the town would get lost and give up. My driving was no less wild, but the roads were somewhat smoother so the urge to vomit eventually abated.

  I let out a sigh of relief once we got to the regional road. At our current speed we’d be on the interstate in another 25 minutes. “So” I said brightly: “That wasn’t so bad, was it?”