Someone won’t be happy at all.
Apparently, Styx would have to wait a little while longer for his treats—since we would both start a new training schedule, I decided to get him some winter flowers and snowberries. And while I definitely wanted to check when the new delivery date would be…
There were more pressing matters at hand.
Which was deciding the challenges I would apply for. Or better yet, the ones I could.
Spending my entire evenings at the academy was definitely not how I would like to pass my time, yet going back home without having a solid strategy would help me in no way. I had to decide how I was going to break down my schedule to prepare me for the interclass event as soon as possible, especially considering how far behind I was compared to other students.
Belenus Kairon: Practical Flight, Tactical Gear
Arke Hesper: Alchemy
Taliesin Morr: Flight Theory, History
Pan Petras: Taming
We currently had four professors teaching us, as first years, a total of six courses. However, there would only be five main challenges since the races would be a joint challenge between Kairon and Morr’s lessons on Flight—which was the only challenge I was certain I would be trying.
Yet I couldn’t waste an opportunity when it knocked on my door.
That interclass event was not only a great chance to connect with sponsors and receive invitations for official races, but a way for me to make a name for myself at Ergos. The more I achieved, the higher were the chances of professors writing recommendation letters, or even exclusive lessons.
Which meant I could not limit myself to the Flight Challenge.
I can take Alchemy out of the way…and I’m pretty confident I wouldn’t do so well in Taming…
Leaving me with History and Tactical Gear. Should I pick one?
Should I go for both?
It was difficult to make a choice when I was not sure how each subject would be handled in the event. Would I be forced to build an actual gear, or simply analyze its use in particular scenarios? Would I need to memorize the history of the entire kingdom, or just matters related to dragons and racing?
With my head beginning to throb due the lack of sleep, I let out a sigh.
…perhaps I can find something in the registries.
I was pretty sure there was a section like this, in the east wing library.
Fortunately, it was not far from where I was.
As I made my way to the east wing, passing by one of the open gymnasiums and the main patio, I noticed how Ergos was not at all quiet. All around me, I could hear dragons flying and roaring, followed by students complaints and curses.
The air filled with sweat, frustration, and bitterness.
I wondered if this was something common for all schools, or it was simply because it was Ergos. Having lived practically my entire life in the underground, I had no idea how normal schools worked. If students would usually stay behind to catch up with their classes, if libraries would remain open till late, if interclass events were as important as real exams.
Yeah, thinking about it, Jackal never had a need for a ‘school’.
Once I carved my way into the ranks as a ringleader, there was never a need for me to bother with anything that happened in the city above. I had power, I had money, I had influence. There was nothing else I could ever wish for.
But Vex…as Vex, I was starting from scratch, all over again. Since Jackal’s mask could not protect me anymore, much less provide me with the resources I needed to survive, I had to make sure I would adapt to this sunlit city.
A place Jackal had rejected almost his entire life, a place Vex had always avoided. For there was no way to conceal the shadows where the light shone brightest.
Yet regardless of how much I hated having to deal with upper city folks, surviving Ergos was still my greatest concern. Once I had completed my revenge—once I reached the very top again—I was going to live the rest of my life as Vex in a place where no light could burn me.
Ever again.
I almost passed the library by mistake, my feet leading me on their own as my mind was too lost in thoughts. The door opened without making a single noise, my footsteps being the only sound echoing within the room after the door had closed.
And as I searched for the right section, a chill ran down my spine as something reached me.
A scent.
One far too sweet.
Clenching my fists, I knew exactly what I would see once I turned the hall. Who I would find. Still, knowing the truth did not make my heart beat any slower. Did not make my blood run any warmer. And just as I predicted, the moment my feet turned left those eyes locked with mine.
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And I could not look away from those eyes.
Neither of us said a word, my legs taking a few seconds too many to move closer to the shelves, my eyes finally breaking free from that gaze to start searching what I was looking for.
“You seem to be adjusting well to the new schedule, after graduating from the reinforcement class.”
All the pain in my head was gone, being replaced by a bitter sickness as my stomach churned and revolted. For a second, I considered ignoring her. Considered rushing away from that library and going for another one instead.
Yet if there was one thing I could not tolerate was the idea of acting even more pathetic in front of her.
It’s not as if I can pretend she doesn’t exist…not when I made such a pitiful declaration in front of her. Not when I’m the one who will bring her misery.
“Why wouldn’t I? They are not that different.”
Even then, there was no way I could hide the dryness of my words, my voice barely managing to conceal its rage.
However Alantra Harris barely reacted, her gaze lingering over me for a few moments more before it fell back to the book in her hands.
“‘Such an effortless thing, to envy a stranger’s feats and glory while looking down at your empty hands. Yet the onerous task of seeing not what those hands lack but all the scars and bruises they carry, that is what will lead one to victory’… While you may be right, I have seen students falling behind for far less. So you should recognize your own efforts, where it’s due.” Her voice was soft, poised. Making me wonder whether she was reciting those words from memory, or from reading them on those pages.
I clenched my jaw, realizing a second too late how my eyes had followed her voice. “I know where I’m at, and what it took me to get here—delusions of grandeur can be just as harmful as petty envy.”
What should I even be looking for here? Records from previous years? Official handbooks for new students?
Fuck, I can’t focus at all.
“Hm, I suppose you are right.”
Though I waited, the woman said nothing more—a quietude wrapping itself around us like a welcoming blanket. Yet even if I didn’t have to hear her voice, Alantra’s presence was far too strong to ignore. From the pungent scent and prestigious aura emanating from her body to the way the silver hair kept reflecting the faint candlelight, its shine reaching my gaze again and again.
While I was desperate to leave the room, I couldn’t let myself be so weak. To be always ready to run away, to let that woman have that much control over my thoughts and actions. For Alantra Harris had stolen too much from me already.
I refused to let her rob me of anything more.
“Shouldn’t you be finding better use of your time?” As childish as it might have been, throwing mocking remarks at her was the best thing the current me could do to keep my mind clear, to help me keep control. “Considering how you are also working for the wh-the authorities.”
My heart skipped a beat as I cursed myself in my head for that slip of the tongue. Sure, the authorities were mostly known and referred as white ravens. Yet the people who usually called them that publicly were not people like Ceres, Alantra Harris, or other city folk.
It was people like Jackal.
The ones who dwelt in the shadows the white ravens sought to purge.
I stole a quick glance, trying to check if she had noticed the mistake—if she would know what it meant. Yet her eyes never glanced my way.
“Commander Bran Ravenfield is quite aware I have academic duties to fulfill, so I’m only required to be at the headquarters around fifteen hours per week. Less when it’s time for Ergos’ evaluations.”
For a moment, I did not even know how to react.
I literally couldn’t tell if that was the most passive-bragging I’ve ever heard, or a weak attempt to remain humble.
A dry, hollow chuckle escaped my lips, almost in its own volition. “Did you ever wonder why they didn’t kick you out after the outcome of your last operation?”
For the first time since I’ve met her in Ergos, Alantra Harris widened her eyes as she turned to me. The passive, expressionless mask she wore crumbling within a heartbeat.
Making me regret my words not even a second after they left my mouth.
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
That was pathetically stupid, Vex!
The last thing I wanted—the last thing I needed—was to have Alantra Harris connecting Vex and Jackal, in any capacity. Yes, I had destroyed Jackal’s traces, yet what about all the things I couldn’t hide? Memories and knowledge only Jackal possessed, things that woman could also recall?
As my heart raced, a new fear carving its way into my skin with piercing claws and a vicious hunger.
I didn’t know if I should look away, if I should meet her gaze, if I should laugh it off and pretend I actually had no idea of what I was talking about. And my hesitance left me there—holding my breath, unmoving, silent—as Alantra’s eyes never shied away from mine.
A reluctance that did not fade, even when the woman broke the silence herself as she finally averted her gaze.
“…regardless of my thoughts, I should not be the one to question the decision of my superiors.”
For the first time, I noticed something more than the poised grace in the woman’s speech. Something that, although distant and meek, felt dense and cold.
…
Hah.
And that something almost made me smile, the fear around me melting into something else entirely.
Satisfaction.
Because while I was still quite far from accomplishing my revenge, to know that Jackal’s escape had left a scar on Alantra Harris’ mind, no matter how small…was a small blessing I would not shy away from.
“Can’t argue with that…”
And with that, before she could catch a glimpse of the gleeful light in my eyes or the faint smile on my lips, I turned away. My mind at ease at last, enough for me to go back to my original task—find records about previous events.
Before I could relish on the feeling, however, the shelf in front of me was obscured by a shadow. And when I realized that scent had suddenly gotten a lot stronger, it was already too late.
“You are searching for records about past academic events, yes?”
When I turned to my right, Alantra’s face was close.
Too close.
Close enough for her scent to be suffocating and unbearable. Close enough for my heart to drop dead at my feet before starting racing again, thumping against my chest harder by the second. Close enough to make me jump and crash against the shelf so fast, it hit my ribs.
As she witnessed all this, Alantra did not laugh, much less reacted in any way. She didn’t even bat an eye, her arm reaching toward a few scrolls on a higher shelf. And as she handed them to me, my hands opened by reflex—my mind too lost and convoluted to properly process what was happening.
Alantra held my gaze, her lips parting for a second before she closed them again, taking a step back. And just when I thought she was about to leave, she looked at me again.
“‘The difference between the foolest and the wisest warrior lies not in how many foes and allies each carries in their shadows, but in how close these are kept to their side.” Then—
She smiled.
Alantra Harris smiled at me.
A smile that held not an ounce of mockery or malice. A smile that felt as flickering and warm as the candlelight in the room. A smile that I knew, deep in my bones, would haunt me every time I closed my eyes.
And without saying a single word more, the woman walked away.
Leaving my mind in such a bewildered state, by the time I thought to ask exactly what she meant by that, Alantra Harris was long gone.
Senpai Alantra moments in this arc, now that Vex is finally an official Ergos student :3 Hopefully, you guys enjoyed the scene.