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Chapter 2 - All Magicians are Charlatans

  "I would like you to show me the parchment for our fine unit of swordsmen, and I wonder if you might also produce your assessment sheet for a unit of Orc tribesmen? I would like to compare the two if that is possible," ventured Captain Schwarzkopf.

  "Of course, sir. I have them right here." Newly promoted Third Lieutenant Nicholas Meyer reached into his leather satchel, searching through bundles of parchments for the swordsmen data sheet. He felt awkward and significantly unprepared since he really had no idea what the Captain would expect of him. So far, it had gone well, but Meyer did not want to blow his new found role by appearing clumsy or incompetent. "Here you go, sir," he said, flattening the parchment on to the wooden desk.

  Thuringian Swordsmen: ----------------------------------------------Orc Tribesmen:

  Full strength: 100 men ------------------------------------------------Full strength: 100 orcs

  Current strength: 62 men (18 recovering from injuries) --Current strength: unknown

  Leadership: 6 ------------------------------------------------------------Leadership: 5

  Fighting skill: 4 ----------------------------------------------------------Fighting skill: 3

  Attacks: 1 per soldier --------------------------------------------------Attacks: 1 per orc warrior

  Quickness: 3 ------------------------------------------------------------Quickness: 3

  Power: 3 ------------------------------------------------------------------Power: 4

  Defence:3 ----------------------------------------------------------------Defence: 3

  Speed: 4 -----------------------------------------------------------------Speed: 4

  Wounds: 1 per soldier ------------------------------------------------Wounds: 1 per tribesman

  Armour save: Light armour plus shield 5+ ---------------------Armour save: Light armour 6+

  Weapons: Swords ----------------------------------------------------Weapons: Battle axes

  Special abilities: none -----------------------------------------------Special abilities: none

  Experience points: 12,961 -----------------------------------------Experience points: unknown

  Payroll: 900 pfennig/ month

  "There you go!" exclaimed Captain Schwarzkopf. "There you go!" he repeated, apparently genuinely enthused by what he was seeing. "Quite ingenious!" Schwarzkopf picked up both parchments and held them up, scrutinising each number with genuine interest. "This explains much. The Orc warriors really do match up well with our own troops. The truth is, I may have been underestimating the brutes! One on one, our brave soldiers are really no better than their Orc counterparts, but there are so very many Orcs! Eventually, by force of numbers, they must prevail! Am I understanding your data correctly, Herr Meyer?"

  "You are indeed, sir," replied Nicholas Meyer with sincere surprise in his voice. He was amazed at just how quickly the Captain seemed to be understanding the esoteric data system that he had created. "I share your assessment of the comparison in fighting abilities of our army vs. the Orc tribes."

  "Hmmmm.....," pondered Captain Schwarzkopf. "How can I be sure that your numbers are correct? I can see some serious value in your approach. Applying a numerical value to each of the major fighting characteristics of opposing armies is a remarkable stroke of insight! Genius, if I do say so myself. But, where do these numbers come from? Are they accurate? How do you update them if unit strength changes, or some such other modification to fighting abilities enter the equation?"

  "Sir, this is my passion. I update at least some of the sheets every day, based on the results of the battles we take part in. I never miss an opportunity to discuss fighting stories with our soldiers, while I serve them their meals. I have worked in the kitchen of the Flying Eagles for the past three years and I have investigated every aspect of the fighting abilities of our soldiers and that of the armies we oppose. Soldiers always love to speak about such things," explained Nicholas Meyer.

  "Have you shown your work to anyone else, Herr Meyer".

  ""No sir," replied the nervous new officer.

  "Well, let us keep this system between us, for the time being. Just a tool for use by the command staff of the 427th battalion! Theodor knows that we could use any advantage we can get over the rest of the battalions in the Holy Prussian army! We'll have to explain that to Herr Hartmann as well. He will also need to keep his mouth shut about our little secret," suggested Max Schwarzkopf. Next, he obviously experienced a bit of a change in his train of thought and asked something new, "How exactly did you come up with this system, Lieutenant Meyer?"

  "Yes, well that goes back some time sir," explained Nicholas Meyer, then continued, "I worked in a public house back in Pfieldorf, my home town. We served a good number of adventurers trekking off to the Grey Mountains. They were trying to make their fortunes, by crawling through the caves and abandoned dungeons of those mountains. A few were successful. I wanted to try to work out a system to make a prediction as to who would, and who would not be successful. I gathered every scrap of information that I could, from each of the travellers. Their experience, their skills, their weapons, their physical abilities. even the Gods that they worshipped. I based most of the numbers on a base 6 numbering system because I was partial to the playing of games of chance using dice. I made a stat sheet for every traveller. Every spare pfenning I had went to new parchments, quill pens and ink. Still does."

  Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

  "And when you joined the Flying Eagles, you simply applied your existing system to our fine battalion! Genius! I said it before and I'll say it again! Genius! Well done, Herr Meyer," congratulated Captain Schwarzkopf. "You won't have to spend your own money on parchments, quills and ink anymore, lad! I will get sufficient supplies for your needs from our military supply houses! If there is one thing that the Army of the Empire is good at, it is producing paperwork! Forms and documents are the speciality of the Prussian race. That said, your parchments are the first form of paperwork that I have ever seen that might actually help our fighting force, rather than bog us down in a sea of bureaucracy. I do have one further question 3rd Lieutenant Meyer. It occurs to me that this might be the key question of all possible inquiries. How exactly can we improve upon the numbers on your varied parchments. Increasing the number of active troops in our units would be one way, but the mothers of the Holy Prussian Empire can produce only so many sons to enlist in our fine army. Is it possible to improve the rest of the numbers on our fighting profiles? Do you have some suggestions as to how we might do this? Is it even possible?"

  Captain Schwarzkopf picked up the Thuringian Swordsmen data sheet and held it up, pointing his finger towards the power and defence entries. "How can we raise these numbers, young man?" he asked, with great sincerity.

  "Well, one way is the way you yourself have become one of the Empire's great fighters, sir. Decades of experience, training and practice have produced a remarkably competent fighter. Also, your physical attributes are amongst the top 1% of all Prussian men. Improvement in the breeding of our fine soldiers could improve their statistical fighting qualities......" Nicholas trailed off in his thoughts at that point, aware that he was losing the attention of his commanding officer.

  "We don't have 'decades' to improve our fighting abilities, young man. We have days to improve our fighting abilities! The high ups in Danzig told me that the Flying Eagles are to be dispatched back to the Eastern front in two weeks time. Once again, we will have new cannons, ammunition, rockets, horses and 126 new recruits, freshly 'enlisted' from the streets of Badendorf. But this time I want to avoid defeat and experience a victory! There are only so many more battles that my old soul can look forward to and before it is too late I want to win! That is exactly what I have promoted you to accomplish. Help me turn the Flying Eagles into a VICTORIOUS fighting force and help me do this quickly! If not, it is back to the kitchens for you. Recall that your promotion was provisional! Provisional, dependent on your ability to coach this battalion to a victory! Now, I will ask you again: Is there a way to improve the numbers on these pages quickly? In days or weeks? I don't have months or years to accomplish these goals!"

  "Yes sir. There is a way sir. In fact there are several ways to improve our fighting performance quickly sir," was Nicholas Meyer's response.

  "What would those 'ways' be, son?"

  This is where it got tricky for Nicholas Meyer because he knew what was going to come next. Captain Maximilian Schwarzkopf was famous for many things. Losing 48 consecutive battles. Insane training schedules. Demanding absolute loyalty from his troops. Unquestionable moral purity. And there was another thing: Schwarzkopf mistrusted absolutely anything to do with magic. He considered them all to be swindlers and scam artists. If it was tangible hard steel and black powder he was in. If somebody tried to sell him any sort of magical services he simply chased them out the door. But the Flying Eagles needed to make a change and this was the change that was required.

  Third Lieutenant Meyer steeled himself for the reaction that he knew was coming. "Sir, respectfully, the Flying Eagles will need to enlist the services of a magician."

  "A ma-gi-cian," repeated Schwarzkopf slowly, sounding out each syllable in the hated word.

  "Yes, sir. A magician."

  "Why in Theodor's name would you ever imagine that I would ever so much as consider hiring one of those pathetic excuses for a human being? Magic users are all charlatans. Expensive charlatans! They promise Luna and deliver nothing! Especially when it matters the most! You are suggesting that I squander the precious financial resources of the Holy Prussian Empire on one of those criminals! Only to be let down again? Never! That is my answer to you! Never! You have wasted my time Herr Meyer! Leave! Return to your crock pot! The calf liver stew needs tending. I am sure that they need you." Schwarzkopf brushed away his waving hand towards the exit tent flap. He stared at Nicholas.

  Nicholas returned the stare. Minutes passed.

  "You are not leaving," observed the Captain.

  "No sir," replied Nicholas.

  "Why are you not leaving?" asked the leader of the 427th battalion.

  "Because I am going to prove to you that our fighting battalion requires the services of a magic user," stated Nicholas Meyer, firmly.

  Minutes passed.

  Finally, Captain Schwarzkopf broke the silence. "All right, your determination impresses me. You have two minutes to change my mind and prove your point. It won't be easy."

  Nicholas Meyer sprang into action. "Sir!" he said pointing at the swordsmen data parchment. See here! The numbers of each fighting skill refer to the chances, out of six, that a given attack will be successful at wounding or killing their opponents. Right now, as things stand our men must swing their swords a dozen or more times to kill just one Orc! All we have to do is improve their odds by raising the probability of a successful attack. Each time one of these numbers is increased the killing power of our troops is increased! And that is exactly the effect of some battle magic spells cast by competent battle magicians!

  Schwarzkopf was actually listening, although clearly had a look of scepticism on his face. "You have one minute remaining."

  Meyer grabbed a hold of the Orc Tribesmen parchment and held it up for emphasis. "But that is not the only positive effect of battle magic, sir! Some accomplished battle magicians can also cast enfeebling spells on our opposition thus lower the odds of them successfully wounding our precious soldiers! I can find you one of these spell casters sir. Give me a chance and I will find you the right man for the job."

  "Times up," commented Maximilian Schwarzkopf. "You have two weeks to find me a battle magician. Report back by then. The next time we meet I expect to see you in an immaculate military uniform. Now gather your parchments and begone with you!"

  As Nicholas Meyer exited the tent flap with his leather satchel under his arm he wondered to himself, 'Where the hell am I going to find a battle magician?'

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