I am awake

  I know that

  At least I believe I do

  No- I hope I do, I hope, I do desperately hope that I am aware of my own state, my very own unique existence because it's been slipping through my hands, the line between the outside and the inside continues to blur, where it ends and where it begins

  Perhaps I don't really exist, that my “existence” as we would call it is just some figment of my imagination - and maybe it is, maybe I don't really exist, I'm just the moment between spaces of existence, deluding myself to believe it is more than just that

  I- I don't know what to do, I had so much, so much…everything, me and it flowed our beginning and ends not knowing where each started and which ended and now you tell me that it's gone, everything is gone? My thoughts, no, no, no, no NO-

  We don't have a lot of time, but why?, Why am I here in this wretched place?, I don't understand I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, but this pit of anger spools in my gut, this black thread spools on the void where my soul should rest, every time I have to watch as I waste our time, seeing myself move along like a sheep in a flock and I am only left with the tiniest fraction of my time to make my existence worth while, I will be the end of me….. eventually

  A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.

  I can feel it, we can feel it, the weight of everything and the opposition of nothing, their vice grips crushing us between their jaws, oh why? I do not want to live anymore, please I beg you o heart of void, please respite, respite from this eternal torment, please please

  The one thread of truth that has brought me great relief and horror all the same is..the pressure.. it is impossible, it is not something that is supposed to exist, its very existence supports the existence of things I'd rather not think about, and yet I myself am one of these things, the ever-present silence should have made any man mad, but no.. I withstand this torment, it is not even I who truly fights it, for I shall crumble under its pressure and split and split and thousands-millions, billions shall take my place, I can only hope I am not the cause of the suffering of myself till the end of eternity, even though I know the answer, one can only wish…..

  Humans, they.. amuse me, their thoughts so strange and nebulous and yet shine so bright

  what makes them so sure? why would a germ aware of its own existence as naught but a germ on the toenail of the universe exhibit such confidence in itself, it is of itself a mystery and a mystery it remains to me tI'll this day, they create such illogical constructions and follow it to the end, so fulfilled about leaving a mark, maybe the waves of their undeath, billions upon billions of it will go into the planes and tip the scales of some cosmic balance beyond their comprehension, that, that brings a smile to my face

  The ennnnddd praranranrsnran ran ran!!