Zeb took several cautious steps forward, disappearing behind the tree from our perspective. The following squirrel wasn’t far behind- nearly close enough to touch her tail by the time Zeb came into our eyeline again, sniffing the ground.

  “I’m getting closer,” she declared vigorously. “It can’t outrun me!”

  Zeb proceeded to sprint forward, rounding the large trunk several times. During that time, she proved herself wrong completely as the squirrel continued to keep up with her, and seemed as if it could do more.

  Midnight and I were willing to record the incident forever, but it simply wasn’t possible. Zeb rounded the tree again and suddenly stopped.

  “Watch your tail!” she said urgently.

  Fortunately that idiom translated well enough. I turned around to see a figure slightly before he was close enough for me to sense the power usage. There was no subtlety to be had in the form of a big metal man standing out in the forest. “It’s Flasher! Midnight, form up! Zeb, get over here. We need to touch.”

  I wanted to fight him, but the circumstances were all wrong. He could have brought any number of subordinates from the Mod Squad, and we only had Midnight and I present. Zeb didn’t count because she had no beastmaster companion, so she effectively had no powers.

  I felt Midnight hop up on my right shoulder and heard Zeb’s rushing paws. I was already gathering mana for Teleport when Flasher suddenly closed half the distance with a short range teleport of his own. Later, we might find that useful… but in the circumstances it meant he was one hop away from us. “Midnight! Anchor!”

  He finished the spell just before Flasher teleported again, the ray of energy streaking through the air and hitting… nothing. Not because he missed, exactly. It was just unfortunate timing.

  Flasher was two steps in front of us, reaching out. I felt Zeb’s head touch my hand. I bent down to wrap my arm around her to make certain we got her, then I felt Midnight land on my left shoulder.

  Grease appeared under Flasher’s feet, surprisingly effective on the twigs and leaves. He wobbled, providing the last instant of delay as he reached out towards us. Though maybe I should have let him touch us and come along to Extra. I also wondered if I could learn to cast small spells in parallel with large ones. Would that disrupt the larger spell? Could I funnel a couple points of mana?

  Too many questions as we were staring at the plain walls of Extra. I had under my arm an individual that was not a border collie but certainly looked like one, and Midnight on my shoulder. No Flasher.

  “Everyone alright?” I asked, turning my head towards Midnight on my right.

  He hopped down from my shoulder and flopped on the floor. “I don’t like that guy. Flash Circuit has too many powers. Shielding, mental processing, teleportation, and laser redirection too! He might even have more.”

  “Is Flash Circuit a friend of Flasher’s?” Zeb asked.

  “They’re the same person,” Midnight explained. “One’s just a Turlough name.”

  Zeb nodded seriously. “I see.” She likewise threw herself on the floor, head on her paws. “He’s so mean. I was about to catch a squirrel.”

  She most certainly was not. Still, I was prepared to flop on the floor in solidarity once Midnight got off my left shoulder. But he was already on the ground…?

  I turned my head just in time to get a fluffy tail in the face. I followed the movement to see the squirrel landing easily and approaching Zeb. It pat her behind the head, gently.

  “Thanks,” Zeb said. “Did your paws get smaller, Midnight?” Zeb sniffed. “Ugh, how frustrating! I got so close that I can still smell the squirrel!”

  “Should we tell her?” Midnight asked.

  “She’ll figure it out,” I said.

  “What are you gonna tell me?” Zeb asked. “If it’s about buying a squirrel, I don’t wanna! You’re supposed to catch them in the wild!”

  I don’t know where she got any information about what one was ‘supposed’ to do. Maybe Lyklor? But the old elf didn’t seem like the type that would have rejected a previously tame or domesticated animal, if it was what he was looking for. Then again, I wasn’t a druid or a beastmaster or anything. I just had a familiar, and he wasn’t even an animal.

  “What if they follow you inside?” I asked.

  “Then they’re probably already your friend,” Zeb said. “But I’m terrible and awful and will never ever be friends with a squirrel.” The squirrel started chittering at Zeb. “I can still hear one of them. Taunting me.”

  “You really had a hard time, huh?” I asked. “But don’t worry. You’ll be alright.”

  Zeb shifted her head towards me. “I don’t know about that. Now I’m visually hallucinating too.” She sniffed slightly.

  I wondered if telling her would somehow make her scare it away. Zeb could fill up with energy instantly.

  The squirrel booped her on the nose.

  “Hello, hallucinatory squirrel. Do you want to be my friend?” Zeb asked. The squirrel chittered at her. “That’s great to hear. Next time I’ll find a real squirrel, maybe. But until then, I have you, illusory squirrel. I’m going to call you… Douglas.”

  “Is that a squirrel name?” I asked. “Will he like that?”

  The second question was easily enough answered by what I perceived to be positive chittering. Though maybe I was just reading into things.

  Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

  “She is a Douglas squirrel,” Zeb said. “Doug-lass squirrel? Douglas’s squirrel?” I was pretty sure most of those sounds weren’t something she could naturally make. “It’s a kind of squirrel with a sort of that has a tan belly like this illusory squirrel.”

  I nodded. “Well, we should probably take you two and the illusory squirrel out of here. Since we’re just sitting in the teleportation hall.” I had to report Flasher’s appearance to the Brigade. “Oh, Midnight, you were still recording, right?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Great. On camera power usage is good, even if it’s probably not perfectly stable.”

  “Douglas. You can ride on my head.” Douglas complied, managing to maintain her balance as Zeb stood up. “The weight of illusory squirrels is greater than I could have ever imagined. I was so close to the greatest destiny of my people, and yet so far.”

  Zeb was sure serious about squirrels. She’d probably be super excited when she realized what actually happened.

  “Do you think your squirrel will get along with the others?” I asked Zeb.

  “All my friends get along,” Zeb said. “They’ll know. They might not hallucinate the same squirrel as me, though.”

  -----

  “You have to come get Zeb,” Ceira said over the phone. “She hasn’t stopped shouting about her squirrel quest for hours.”

  “I assume she finally figured it out when she woke up?” I asked.

  “Something like that,” Ceira replied.

  “There’s a bit of a problem with the squirrel quest.”

  “She was actually successful. I feel like she’ll be more effective now, won’t she?”

  “Maybe,” I said. It might take special squirrels, though. “But we can’t go on the squirrel quest because Flasher was still trying to snatch Midnight. Probably.”

  “That jerk. Just wait till Fluffy gets his teeth on him.”

  “He did, previously,” I said. “Flasher got repairs.”

  “I’m sure it still cost him. Cyborg parts don’t grow on trees. At least not any trees I’ve seen.”

  “Don’t give Vilhelmiina ideas.”

  “Right. So… you can’t leave the city?”

  “We’re supposed to remain with a full squad as much as possible. We can bring Zeb on some city patrols, if you want. We can also just wrangle her back to her own place, since she’ll be with her companions and you won’t have to take care of them during the day.”

  “Probably for the best. They’re well behaved, but I really don’t have enough room for them. Well, maybe Fluffy but Miss Flutter needs special accommodations.”

  -----

  Calculator was given the unenviable task of explaining to Zeb why we could not continue her squirrel quest at the moment. However, as soon as he explained that Midnight and I would be in potential danger, she calmed significantly.

  “What if I bring Fluffy and Miss Flutter? Fluffy can fight Flash Circuit just fine.”

  Calculator shook his head. “Not on his own. Or in a small team. And we can’t spare a whole team for your… squirrel quest… at the moment. Mage and Familiar are already a significant value that we can’t afford to deduct from our day-to-day operations long term.”

  “Also…” Midnight added. “Douglas might be worried that you would want to replace her if you tried to get more squirrels right away.”

  “Nooo! I would never do that to my favorite squirrel!” Zeb whined.

  “So when you have two…”

  “They would both be my favorite.”

  “You don’t need to convince me of that,” Midnight explained. “Think of the squirrels.”

  Eventually, we got everything sorted out. Some of that involved more patrols for Midnight and I, but it kind of was the part of our job that kept the Power Brigade in business.

  -----

  The next couple of months went smoothly, with various forms of training slipped in among our patrols. The Contingency based stuff just took time for materials and production, during which we tested various materials for our statuettes. There were various sorts of cheaper and more obtainable ivory substitutes. We settled on a number of gemstones that between us seemed to be optimal- artificial ones were far cheaper and just as good.

  That was for the best. I didn’t want to have to start cutting corners off of the scrying cube. But if we needed some gemstone, there sure was a whole lot of it there. Probably best to leave it, though, because it cost some significant amount of blackout- which was not the same price as the electricity people would have been using during that same time. Lots more headaches and paperwork, and if I made Vilhelmiina do it again it would be my headaches and paperwork.

  The part we had more trouble with was the consumed components. Ultimately, it seemed that the duration of the Contingency relied mainly on a good statuette and the potency relied on proper materials. As far as we knew, that was magical eyelashes and mercury. Just mercury wasn’t enough, and we hadn’t found any eyelashes that we felt worked.

  And thus, we were on a hunt for magical eyelashes. Which was to say, we planned to go to Earth #2 to see if we could get some. We didn’t want to visit too often because there had been some trouble last time. Fortunately, we’d brought sufficient Humuruns through that they could build up their magical girl forces to fight The Scouring for at least a few years without falling behind their previous metrics.

  Relatedly, from their perspective we were probably Earth #2. And Extra probably knew about some other parallel ones that already had numbers. But that didn’t mean anything to me.

  Khithae was also from a parallel Earth, I supposed. One where gecko people existed and had advanced tech. Maybe that would have to be Earth#-1 or something. It was more divergent, in my opinion.

  Midnight and I set up some dimension hopping for one of our weekends, scheduling with Strife and Lady Eglantine to make certain they would be available.

  “... so you have a job?” I asked Momo when we appeared in one of the safehouses.

  “How else would we cover the expenses of this building?” Momo asked.

  “Uh… government subsidies?” I tilted my head. “I feel like you should definitely be paid for stopping extraterrestrial invaders.” I looked at Lady Eglantine. “Isn’t that right? The Humurun thing is sponsored by your planet, isn’t it?”

  “Yes, but our money is no good here.”

  “... Don’t you have amazing technology or something? You could sell it.”

  “Turlough,” Midnight commented, “There are reasons things like Extra exist.”

  “I feel like it would help with the whole invasion thing,” I shrugged. “Especially if their guardians were more available to do stuff. Or if someone could create an anti-Scouring gun.”

  “I believe that might be us,” Momo commented.

  “Right. So anyway, I need your eyelashes.” Or maybe Eglantine’s? We should test both. The Humuruns seemed more naturally magical, but they imbued that into the others. Or maybe neither would work, which would mean I had to go look for magic monsters. Or figure out how to make a substitution of some sort.