“OH YEahhhh. That’s the spot. You lot learn fast.”

  The Dyna Masseuse pushes her elbow deep into my back. Loosening a hard knot in my muscles. This I needed. Last time I got a massage from an alien they almost snapped my spine. Knowing I was on my way, the excellent staff of the Temple of the Phoenix have been practicing. I knew I was carrying a lot of stress just not this much. I’ve been getting one every day now, sometimes twice. She’s placed her hand flat and parallel across opposite sides of my spine. I feel force building behind her balms as she pushes.

  CRACK

  A weight has been lifted.

  “Aaaaaah. Now we are talking. Think you can get my lower back, too?”

  “Certainly. And while I’m down there, I have heard of the Earth custom called a Happy-”

  “Humans don’t mate during daylight hours. We have been through this,”

  That little lie is the only reason I get to leave my bed at this point. Word spread among the staff and now I can’t go ten minutes without being hunted by packs of Dyna. I’ve even started to get most of my sleep during the day since otherwise I’d wouldn't get any at all. There are a lot of great activities around here to feed your extreme side. Surfing, hangliding, jet skis, etc. I wouldn’t be all that into those even if I wasn't expending all my liquids every night. So my relaxation time has been exclusively that. Relaxing. We have a steam room and hot tub on The Moby. I never use them because they are public and they don’t compare to this anyway. Water heated by magma and filled with a unique cocktail of minerals is simply un-replicable.

  “Your massage is complete. Please enjoy a restoration broth. It has been prepared to your liking.”

  Supposedly it’s good to have lean protein and lots of liquid after a full body massage. Because I’m lazy, I just drink soup. It’s a lot like Miso soup, except the tofu is some kind of sea sponge and the miso is a kind of krill. Close your eyes and you can barely tell the difference. As I drink she fits a robe around me so I’m decent again. She’s spending a lot of time around my chest. One thing I’ve learned is that some people are very curious about human body hair. Most races have a ton of hair or little to none; not many in the middle like us. Phibians are smooth from top to bottom.

  “I have heard you humans have a common practice after a massage. You call it a Happy en-”

  “Day time. Still day time.”

  She leaves in a huff. Credits to Croissants she’ll be first in line the second night comes. Well she’s going to have to wait. I feel like I could use some more of that fresh air. I see I’m not the only one. Inanna is still trying to teach Joan how to play Volleyball. She keeps using her tail to hit the ball. With that spike, it doesn’t go well. Raze is working the grill. He insists nobody knows how to cook on real fire better than him. The three batches of black charcoal that was once first rate seafood says otherwise. I have no idea where Fairy and Sugar are. I do spy some discarded robes near the rocks that are too small for anyone else, however. We all just try and enjoy our last day.

  True to Philot’s word, the remains of that Dreadnaught have all been confiscated and my report altered without my knowledge nor consent. Nothing confirmed just yet, at least nothing I’m allowed to see, but that fleet should be arriving within the week. My next assignment is on damn near the other side of the galaxy. Nefarious plotting aside, it will be strange to know the Wild Sector is about to become far less wild. It’s going to be less a Sheriff riding in on a white horse and more the full scale invasion of Canada during World War 4. Better than nothing I suppose.

  Oh well. Out of my hands. I take a seat on one of these reclining wooden chairs. War will be a problem for later me. Today me should just enjoy the view while he can. Sunshine, waves, and bikinis, all the staples of a good life.

  I hear ice clink against glass next to me. Vivvian is offering me a cold drink. Another staple. I take it and she sits down in the chair next to me, sipping a drink of her own. It’s a bright orange that reflects the sunlight. It tastes like mango. Not alcoholic but even I can live without a stiff sip for… about an hour.

  “Thanks. Last day to rest up. You make good use of it?”

  “One best not trust those that swim for a living to know how to fly.”

  “Yeah, took them a while to figure me out as well. Of course I can still enjoy the baths. Feathers aren’t so happy about that, are they?”

  “Water sticks to even a rolling stone. Steam rises up and through.”

  That explains where she’s been all this time. Personally, I'm not a big fan of steam rooms. Each their own I suppose.

  …It’s quiet. I’ve been doing my best to learn how to talk to all my crew. Had better success with some over others. Still have the most trouble with Vivvian. It’s not just the language barrier, especially since that’s all one sided. She’s a girly girl if a girl ever did girl. And I’m still not sure she’s a girl. Outfit isn’t helping in the slightest either. Thong bikini bottoms and nothing on top. On my world that would make that obvious. In this boob deprived galaxy, not so much. And both men and women wear thongs, if they have the confidence for it. I’m wearing boxer style by the way. Vivvian loves fashion, pop songs, and grooming. My sense of style is so bad it gets vented. All I do is drink, which she physically can’t. Age difference doesn’t help, either. By human terms Vivvian is around 20, maybe 22 tops. That’s me being generous as she might be even younger. Not good at this cross-planet math yet. We do not have a lot of common ground. It’s still quiet. I should say something.

  Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

  “So. How has… uh…”

  A poet as always Tom. The angels weep.

  “Are you planning to quit?”

  I panicked. Vivvian is looking at me now. I wanted to talk to her about this eventually. Just thought I’d do so in a more elegant manner.

  “That came out wrong. I don’t want you to quit. It’s just after the last mission I expected to see a resignation of some sort. You didn’t show much confidence in yourself and this isn’t coming out any better is it?”

  She shakes her head no. I have been Captain of two vessels prior to the Moby. The Second Wind and the Pinto. In both, if someone was dismissed, it was due to decisions from people much higher in rank than myself. I’ve never been in a position where someone might leave my command with myself as the person in charge of their fate. Now I have to deal with two such decisions: Alcea and Vivvian. It’s a part of Captaining I’m not so comfortable with.

  “I’m going to start over. Do you want to remain on the Moby? I’ve seen your records. You are a talented pilot. In fifteen or twenty years you would have been on a ship this big regardless. But you are still fresh out of the academy. And if you don’t think you are ready, well, I understand.”

  She smiles. More a smirk if I’m honest. In one big gulp, Vivvian finishes her drink and leaves the glass in the sands.

  “I… wish… stay.”

  “Did … did you just talk Normal?”

  “Normal to the spider is chaos to the fly. Talking… this… hard… head… aches… think… each…word… flowing with the river is nothing compared to swimming against it.”

  “I suppose Normal was a poor choice of words. Glad to still have you aboard.”

  Now that’s a real smile. Think I’ll end on a high note. Leave the waves and Raze’s distant shouting at his fourth pile of burnt seafood to fill the air. Sun is setting. I know what that means. I better brace myself before-

  “Captain Tom.”

  First Dyna of the night.

  “My Madame wishes to speak with you. Privately"

  That’s a first. She was part of the team discussing that thing that doesn’t exist. I might be leaving but she gets to stay and see what grows from that particular seed. Guess I have no other choice. One last little stroll through the Temple.

  The Dyna opens the door to her Madame’s room. It’s smaller than I expected. Not much bigger than my quarters. This is an old temple after all. This amount of space would have been utter luxury. The Madame is painting something. She’s wearing a far more simple robe. One she does not mind getting ruined.

  “There you are. Please, sit. Would you mind looking this way? Lift your head a little higher, please.”

  I do as I’m told. There’s a big light over of me.

  “That’s it. I knew I was missing an important detail. You did not tell the story of that scar across your neck.”

  “That’s not a scar. It’s a birth mark. I prefer not to show it off.”

  “No shame in our imperfections. Let me get a closer look.”

  Several vigorous brushes across her canvas follow me raising my neck. Is she painting me?

  “Finished. What do you think?”

  She turns the painting around. She was painting me. Or some version of me at least. I’ve never met my doppelganger but he looks like a strong, chiseled hero type.

  “I’m flattered.”

  “As you should. I only paint my favorite guests.”

  She takes the fresh painting and hangs it on a wall to dry. Admiring her own handiwork.

  “Miss. About why you called me here.”

  “This is why I called you here. I needed to make sure I got everything just right.”

  She walks over to the sink and begins rubbing off all the paint.

  “That’s all? I thought you wanted to talk about the, you, thing.”

  The water turns off as she grabs a towel.

  “I have had countless important people come through these grounds. All about to do something of immense importance. It is my duty to pretend none of it never happens. Even this painting is technically illegal. Of course, I won’t tell anyone if you don’t.”

  She winks. They do learn their cultures fast. I just nod back. We all have our secrets.

  “Well, there was one other thing I did need to discuss. I understand you have been having a great deal of time with my staff.”

  Crap.

  “In my defense, they came onto me. All fifty of them.”

  “Of course they did. They are Dyna. It may be strange to you to think of it in this way, not having anything like the Dyna. We of the larger and rare casts do not see being with one as salacious.”

  “Really?”

  “For every one man or woman, there are fifteen Dyna. If we did not move past just paltry notions, and lacked the stamina to keep up the demands inherent with such a system, we would have failed as a society long ago. Which leads me to my final reason for calling you here.”

  Her robes drop. What she is wearing underneath is every bit as intricate and high society as what she had on when we first met. Just slimmer, tighter, and with some very specific parts left uncovered.

  Fifteen to one, huh? I think my record was twelve.