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Chapter 7: Mutuality

  The sun came up slowly over the island, bleeding gold across the water in long, unhurried strokes. A salt wind moved along the shoreline, pulling at the grass above the embankment and flattening the surface of the shallows into something bright and restless. Two helicopters crossed eastward overhead, their rotors cutting the morning into sections, their shadows skimming the ocean below before they shrank to nothing against the mainland sky.

  Near the coast, beside the rusted wreckage of a ship that had been there long enough to become part of the landscape — hull split, barnacled, listing slightly into the sand as though it had simply decided to lie down one day and never gotten back up — two figures moved against each other with the kind of violence that was entirely one-sided.

  Janus was the smaller figure.

  He was losing in the specific way a person loses when they have been losing consistently for two days and their body has begun to treat pain as a baseline rather than an event.

  He hit the sand for what felt like the fourteenth time that morning — ribs screaming, lungs flat, cheek pressed against the cold wet shoreline with his legs folded at an angle he wouldn't have chosen. For a long moment he simply lay there, cataloguing his injuries the way a person catalogues a shopping list they already know is too long.

  Grim stood over him. His mask hung from his waist — he had taken it off sometime in the first hour, and without it his face carried the focused, impassive expression of someone for whom this was not personal and not cruel, simply necessary. He exhaled through his nose, rubbed his jaw with one hand, and looked down at Janus with the patience of a man who has decided waiting is more efficient than helping.

  "Stand up," he said. "You still haven't enhanced your defenses."

  "I'm aware," Janus said into the sand.

  "Then stand up."

  He stood up.

  His legs informed him immediately that this had been a poor decision. He raised one hand toward Grim in a gesture that was intended to communicate both stop and give me a moment and also please do not hit me again while I am doing this, which was perhaps too much to ask of a single hand signal.

  "Two days," Grim said, walking away toward the shipwreck. "And you still don't have a functional grasp of self-enhancement." He said it the way you say a fact — without judgment, without frustration, with the flat clinical quality of someone recording a measurement.

  On the broken hull of the wreck, the third figure watched with her chin in her hand.

  Vex had sky-blue hair and the particular energy of someone who had brought snacks to a situation most people would consider harrowing. She was unwrapping her third lollipop of the morning, already dressed in white gear that somehow looked less worn than Janus' despite the fact that she had been sitting on a rusted shipwreck for two hours. She watched Grim walk toward the wreck with an expression that could only be described as appreciative in a way that had nothing to do with his training methodology.

  "He's so focused," she murmured to herself, tracking him. "Look at the way he walks. That's a man who knows what he's doing at all times." She sighed. A genuine, deeply felt sigh. "Unreal."

  Grim unsheathes his blade without looking at her.

  Vex straightened immediately. "Oh. Oh, we're doing the blade thing."

  She hopped upright on the hull and pointed at Janus with her lollipop. "Don't worry! I'll heal you if he stabs you! Or dices you! Or both! I've got you either way!"

  "That is not reassuring!" Janus said.

  "It's very reassuring! I'm excellent at healing!"

  Grim walked back toward Janus, blade at his side, and tilted his head with the expression of someone who has tried the reasonable approach and is now considering alternatives.

  "I've used every conventional method," he said. "Repetition. Controlled exposure. Graduated pressure." He stopped a meter away. "Maybe what you actually need is a reason to take this seriously."

  He lowered into a combat stance.

  Janus did not wait for further elaboration. He turned and ran.

  The shoreline opened up ahead of him — flat wet sand giving way to dry, then to the rougher ground above the tide line, and beyond that the open plain that stretched toward the facility. He ran without a plan because there was no plan that ended well and he might as well cover distance while he thought of one.

  Behind him on the wreck, Vex unwrapped a fourth lollipop and settled back in, pulling her knees up with the composure of someone who has excellent seats.

  "Go go go," she said, to no one in particular.

  Janus could feel it.

  That was the part that had taken him by surprise the first time and had not stopped being unsettling — the awareness of Grim behind him not as a sound or a visible presence but as something more fundamental, a pressure in the air with direction and intent. The bloodlust, for lack of a better word, though it wasn't malicious. It was focused. Precise. The feeling of being the specific target of someone who is very good at what they do and is currently doing it.

  He pushed harder.

  Sand kicked up behind him. The wind came in off the water against his face, cold and salt-sharp, and his lungs burned with the particular burn of a body that has been asked to do too much for too many consecutive hours and has begun submitting formal complaints.

  Don't think about the blade.

  Don't think about what it does.

  Faster.

  The burst of wind behind him arrived without warning — not the ocean wind but something displaced, something moving through air at a speed that moved the air around it — and Grim was suddenly beside him with the effortless proximity of someone for whom the distance between points is a suggestion. The blade came up.

  Janus jerked sideways, feet barely catching under him as he changed direction, angling away from the shore toward the open plain. His rhythm broke and rebuilt in the space of three strides. The blade had passed close enough that he felt the displaced air against the side of his neck.

  He ran harder.

  The fatigue in his legs stopped being background noise and became the main conversation. His vision tunneled slightly at the edges. The plain spread out ahead of him, flat and exposed and offering nowhere to go that wasn't just more of itself, and Grim was there again — beside him, expression unreadable, closing without apparent effort as though Janus' speed were a fixed point he was simply choosing to match.

  The blade rose.

  And the world slowed down.

  Not dramatically. Not with sound or light or any of the signals that fiction uses to mark the moment things change. It was quieter than that — a shift in the quality of his perception, the way a room changes when you stop moving through it and actually look at it. Time did not stop. It simply became negotiable.

  He saw the arc of the blade before it completed. Not as a prediction — as a fact, visible in advance, the endpoint of Grim's shoulder rotation already present in its beginning. He saw the tension transfer through the wrist. He saw the precise angle of the swing and the precise point where it would arrive and the precise window between those two facts where there was space to not be.

  Warm pressure spread across his chest — small and specific, like needles distributed across a very deliberate pattern, pushing outward from a central point somewhere behind his sternum.

  Instinct.

  He ducked.

  The blade passed through the air where his head had been with a sound like a breath held too long finally released. He came out of the duck already moving, legs finding their rhythm again, and time snapped back to its normal speed with a quality like a rubber band released — sudden, total, the world catching up to itself all at once.

  Behind him, he heard Grim slow.

  He didn't look back. He ran.

  He heard the grip change — the specific sound of a hand repositioning on a hilt, shifting from sword to something more like a spear, the balance of the weapon redistributed in the space of a second.

  "Catch!" Grim called.

  Janus had just enough time to understand that this was not going to be a comfortable experience before the blade left Grim's hand.

  He felt it before he could see it. The weapon didn't travel in a straight line so much as it traveled in every line simultaneously — or that was how it registered, a presence that seemed to exist at multiple angles at once, hunting rather than flying. From everywhere. From nowhere. The panic arrived clean and immediate, spiking through his chest with the specific intensity of a body that has been through something and recognizes the shape of it coming back.

  The aberrant.

  The memory hit him like a physical thing — the blade, that blackened grotesque weapon fused with flesh and sinew and something that had no name in any anatomy he knew. The way it had moved. The wet sound it made entering him. The warmth that had followed, spreading outward from the wound with the horrible intimacy of something that had been inside him and was now outside of him and taking everything with it. The specific quality of helplessness that exists only when you understand, with complete clarity, that your body is being destroyed and there is nothing you can do to stop it.

  He remembered wanting it to end.

  He remembered wanting to survive more than he had ever wanted anything.

  A translucent shield snapped into existence across his back — thin, polygonal, geometric, the shape of something assembled in a hurry from available materials. It lasted approximately a quarter of a second before the invisible blade hit it and it shattered like glass dropped on stone. Fragments of whatever it had been made of dispersed into the air.

  Not enough.

  The blade kept coming.

  Fear spiked through him — not the manageable fear of training but the older, deeper fear of a man who has died once already and knows what the approach of it feels like.

  Grim's left hand came up slightly. "Shit," he said, very quietly. "I overdid it."

  The memory sharpened again — the blade descending toward his chest, his own blood on the surface of it, the aberrant's expression that had looked almost like joy.

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  Janus twisted.

  Not a trained movement — a full-body rotation mid-sprint, violent and uncontrolled, the kind of motion that should have put him face-first in the sand. The speed he had accumulated over the length of his run transferred into the spin, momentum converting into something else entirely, and for a fraction of a second his feet left the ground. He hung in the air — suspended, weightless, the island and the ocean and the wrecked ship visible in a single rotating frame.

  The invisible blade hit something.

  There was no visible object. There was no barrier he could see or explain. But the sound was unmistakable — the high metallic scream of an edge meeting an edge, steel grinding against steel, sparks jumping from a point in empty air. The unseen weapon pressed and pressed, and the unseen resistance held and held, and sand erupted outward from beneath the collision as Janus crashed down and skidded across the shore on his back, the air driven out of him completely.

  He lay there.

  The blade kept pressing. The grinding continued for three more seconds, insistent, before the resistance simply outlasted it.

  Grim's weapon reappeared and drove itself into the sand, embedding to the hilt. It wobbled once. Went still.

  Janus stared at the sky and decided that was enough sky for one morning.

  The blade wiggled free from the ground.

  He flinched.

  It shot back into Grim's hand.

  "Well done," Grim said, arriving beside him. His voice carried something that was not quite warm but was the closest it had come to warm in two days. "Whatever that was — it stopped my blade."

  He extended his hand.

  Janus took it, and Grim pulled him upright with a steadiness that didn't account for how much Janus' legs immediately wanted to discuss the matter. He found his footing by an act of pure stubbornness.

  Vex descended from the wreckage at speed, lollipop in mouth, eyes wide with the energy of someone who has just watched something exceed every expectation they brought to the morning.

  "OKAY." She circled him, examining him from several angles as though he were a specimen she hadn't classified yet. "Was that a barrier? That looked like a barrier. That had barrier energy."

  "I — think?" Janus muttered, pressing a hand to his ribs. "I don't know what that was."

  "I do." Grim shook his head slowly. "That wasn't a barrier. Barriers are constructed. That was reactive — it met my blade like an edge, not a wall. That's offensive air manipulation. Possibly weaponized pressure." He paused. "Or something we don't have a name for yet."

  He said nothing about the polygonal shield that had formed and shattered before it. He filed that separately.

  "Can you trigger it again?" he asked, sheathing his blade.

  "I don't think I triggered it the first time," Janus said. "My chest ached right before it happened. And then my right eye felt like something was trying to exit through it from the inside."

  Vex pointed at him with her lollipop stick. "Core's in your right eye."

  She said it with the confidence of someone announcing the weather.

  "She's probably right," Grim said, producing a pill from his vest and placing it in his mouth with the ease of someone for whom this was as routine as a breath. "Organ cores present pain response at the site when ability activation begins. Right eye, right side of chest — that's consistent." He looked at Janus. "We'll structure training around it. Ghoul will take the range work. Your ability seems to respond better at distance than at contact."

  "I'm sorry," Janus said. "Did you just say we'll structure more training. As in. More of this."

  "Yes."

  "Today?"

  "No. We're done for today."

  Janus exhaled with his entire body.

  "Thank Vex," Grim added, reattaching his mask with the quiet click of the clasp. "She pulled herself from the Lilies' breakfast ritual to act as field medic. That cost her something."

  "It was nothing," Vex said immediately, waving her hand, watching Grim's mask settle back into place with an expression of profound aesthetic appreciation. "I would follow that man into a training session on the surface of the sun. Did you see him move? When he repositioned for the overhead — the shoulder rotation—" She pressed both hands to her cheeks. "Unreal. I don't make the rules, I just report them."

  Janus looked at her. "Do you want me to tell him you said that?"

  "Absolutely not," she said, at the same pitch and speed she used for everything. Then, after a beat, she tilted her head. "Maybe. No. Tell him — no. He already knows. Men like that always know."

  She gazed after him with the focused distance of someone composing a thought they will return to later.

  Janus watched Grim walk away up the embankment, mask on, blade sheathed, posture entirely unaffected by two days of intensive training that had left Janus feeling like furniture that had been thrown down a staircase.

  "Does he ever sleep?" Janus asked.

  "I'm sure he does," Vex said. She paused. "I've never actually confirmed it. I like to imagine he just sits somewhere in the dark being quietly magnificent." Another pause. "He probably looks unfairly good asleep. Some people are just like that."

  "Where's he going now?"

  The question brought Vex back from wherever she had been. She rolled the lollipop stick between her fingers, and her expression did something — a brief quieting, the burst of energy pulling back for a moment into something more considered.

  "Heard he's going to Desmonti," she said. "Assisting the Brambles. The Lilies will follow eventually." The brightness came back, but softer. "I'll get to watch him work again. In the field. Which is different." She clasped her hands. "You know when someone's good at something and you already knew that, but then you see them actually do it and you realize you didn't fully know?"

  "I've felt something like that recently, yes," Janus said.

  "That's what it's like every time." She said it simply, without performance, as though it were just a fact about herself she had made peace with.

  She started back toward the facility, unwrapping a fifth lollipop from somewhere in her gear with the automatic ease of someone who has planned for this.

  Janus stayed.

  He stood on the shore alone for a moment, looking out at the water where the helicopters had gone. The gold had gone out of the morning light and left something flatter and cooler behind. The wind still moved off the ocean, carrying the patrol ships' hum and the smell of salt and distance.

  War was moving. He could feel it the way he had felt Grim behind him — not as a visible thing but as a pressure with direction and intent.

  He turned and walked back up the embankment.

  He had survived something that felt too close to dying again. He was going to have to get better at that.

  * * *

  Leian had claimed her brother's desk with the thoroughness of someone who had decided that possession was the relevant legal framework. Her own paperwork was spread across his workspace in a pattern that made complete sense to her and would have been incomprehensible to anyone else, and she was working through it with the focused efficiency of someone who had been awake for a reasonable number of hours and intended to get something done about it.

  The door opened.

  Emmanuel walked in.

  He looked, she thought, like a man who had been making decisions for too many consecutive hours and had run out of the part of himself that makes decisions feel like they weigh less than they do. The dark circles under his eyes had the settled quality of something that had been there long enough to consider itself permanent. His posture carried the weight of a campaign in the specific way only a Captain's posture can — all the things he had ordered, all the things he had approved, all the things he had signed his name to and would not be able to unsign.

  He crossed the room without speaking and lowered himself onto the carpeted floor.

  Not a chair. The floor. He stretched out flat on his back with his arms extended and his legs straight, the posture of a man performing a trust fall with gravity, and his back cracked in three distinct places as he settled. He groaned with the sincerity of a person for whom this sound requires no audience.

  "Campaign season," he said, to the ceiling, "is a bitch."

  Leian set her pen down. She walked around the desk, stepped carefully over his left leg, and lowered herself onto the carpet beside him. They lay side by side on the dusty floor of his office, staring up at the ceiling, which had the faint water stains and patched cracks of a surface that had been repaired several times by people who had prioritized function over appearance.

  He closed his eyes.

  She let him have approximately four seconds of that.

  "Are we going to kill him, Eman?"

  He breathed out through his nose — the specific exhale of someone who has been asked the question they were hoping not to be asked yet.

  "Remind me which one," he muttered. "I'm being asked to kill a lot of people lately."

  "Janus." She said it without inflection. "The committee made their decision. You know what it was."

  "I know." He turned his head slightly, resting it against his forearm, looking at the ceiling from a slightly different angle as though that might change what it said back to him. "I still can't believe it, but for once the Empire showed more decency than those international jackals. That's not a sentence I expected to say in my lifetime."

  His voice carried the faint contempt of a man who has been dealing with international committees for long enough to have stopped being surprised by them and started being tired of them.

  Leian shifted onto her elbow.

  "He reminds me of Evan," she said.

  The name settled between them like something placed carefully on a surface that was already full.

  Emmanuel's eyes moved toward the far wall. Not seeing it. Seeing something else entirely — something that existed only in the space behind his focus, in the part of memory that doesn't ask permission before it arrives. The war, the campaign season, the stack of decisions waiting on his desk — all of it receded for a moment, replaced by the specific weight of a name and everything attached to it.

  Leian went somewhere too. She didn't show it the way he didn't show it, and for a moment they were simply two people lying on a dusty floor, very far from the version of themselves that had expected things to turn out differently.

  Neither of them said more. There was more to say. There was always more to say about Evan — about who he had been, about what he had been building toward, about the particular unfairness of not getting to see his siblings do the thing they had all, in their different ways, been working toward. But saying more required going toward it, and neither of them was going toward it today.

  The ceiling had nothing useful to offer on the subject.

  The silence held until Leian pushed herself back up onto her elbow and let the present reassert itself.

  "What's your actual reasoning," she asked, "putting him under the Dead Sparrows? Or am I imagining that Grim has developed a soft spot?"

  Emmanuel sat up slowly, the exhaustion rearranging itself back into the lines of his face. "Grim pulls the best out of people by giving them no alternative to finding it themselves. If Janus is going to survive what's coming, he needs someone who won't manage his reality for him." He pushed himself to his feet, brushing dust from his coat with the automatic gesture of someone who has been lying on dusty floors long enough to have developed a procedure for it. "Sentiment won't help him. Grim doesn't do sentiment."

  "No," Leian agreed, returning to the desk. "He does results." She began reorganizing the scattered documents with the efficient irritation of someone reclaiming a workspace that has been thoroughly colonized. "Although I'll say — if Janus loses control, Grim won't hesitate. You know that."

  "That's exactly why I picked him."

  Emmanuel moved toward the desk and stood looking at the two swords resting against its side. He reached out and ran his fingers along the hilt of the nearer one — slowly, with the quality of handling something he had not handled in a long time and was reacquainting himself with.

  "I'm thinking of deploying with the strike team," he said. "I'll bring Janus."

  Leian's hands stopped moving.

  She looked at him. At the sword. At the particular quality of his posture, which was the posture of someone who has made a decision that is going to cost something and has already done the accounting.

  "You haven't used those since you became Captain," she said.

  "No."

  "Because you haven't needed to."

  "No."

  She looked at him a moment longer. "Yeah," she said, with the dry precision of a younger sibling who has been watching her brother long enough to know when he's editing himself. "Because you send everyone else to bleed first."

  He didn't answer that. Not because it wasn't true, but because answering it would require engaging with it, and engaging with it would require him to decide whether it was a criticism or just a fact, and he was too tired for that distinction tonight.

  Leian crossed to him, took the sword from his hand with the decisive ease of someone who has done this before, and drove its tip into the carpeted floor. It went in with a dull thud that sent a small tremor through the desk and wobbled for a moment before settling.

  "Bring Alexandra," she said. The playfulness was gone from her voice — this was the other register, the one that surfaced when she had decided something and was telling him rather than suggesting it. "Her earth manipulation gives you ground control. Real ground control, the kind that changes the shape of an engagement before it starts."

  She looked at him directly.

  "And she deserves to see outside. She's been in this facility since we brought her in, Eman. That's not sustainable. Not for someone like her."

  Emmanuel studied the sword embedded in his floor for a long moment. Then he nodded, once, with the economy of a man who has decided and doesn't need to perform it.

  "Fine."

  He pulled the blade free, set it back against the desk, and lowered himself into his chair. The exhaustion returned immediately, settling back into his frame the way it had been waiting to — the particular weight of a man who has been holding things up by will and has briefly stopped.

  Leian gathered her files from his desk and walked toward the door. She moved efficiently, without ceremony, the way she always moved when she had said what she came to say.

  She reached the door. Paused. Her hand on the frame.

  She didn't turn around.

  "We couldn't save Evan," she said. Quiet. Direct. The kind of statement that doesn't look for a response because it isn't asking a question. "Don't fuck this one up."

  The door closed behind her.

  Emmanuel sat alone in the office, in the dim light, staring at the world map pinned to his wall. All its marked points and notations. All its distances.

  He didn't answer.

  There was nothing to say to a closed door that the door didn't already know.

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