The rain had returned. This time it was light, but cold. Cold enough that even with the large fireplace burning downstairs, the room still felt cold. Too cold.
Some rain danced on the window from a small gust of wind, and I watched the way the rain slid down the panel of glass. It was blurry, but not because of the rain coating it. The glass was thick, and wobbly. Not very well made, honestly. Not compared to the glass I’ve seen throughout my travels, with Vim, at least. It was, like the rest of this house and those like it in this village, simply the best they could probably build. The craftsmanship was better than most I've seen, but even I could see where it could have been done better.
Though not of the best quality, this place still felt strangely nice.
Looking down at my feet, and the socks upon them, I shifted a little to see the wood boards beneath me. A rug was nearby, but it didn’t reach the wall I stood before.
The wood planks, not really boards, weren’t rough. Nothing clung to my socks, or poked me, but they did look worn. There were little grooves in them, from all the years of wear. Plus it looked like they had stuck some kind of stuffing between the boards, as to better insulate the place. So that no drafts could get in. It worked, of course, but it made me wonder what they had used. Some kind of leaves? Wheat? How’d bugs not get in and make the place home? Maybe the general coldness of this area made it possible.
Looking back up from the floor, I glanced around the room I had just spent the night in. There were two beds, opposing each other, one for me and one for Lilly. We were not in Elaine’s house but instead one nearby. This was Cat’s house. A home she had lived in with two other women, one of which Vim had killed. The other woman had ended up marrying and moving in with another family on the other side of the village. It seemed it was now hers and hers alone. The extra bedrooms and beds were for those who were sick, or wounded, what with Cat being the village doctor and all.
Although this was considered an extra bedroom, it still looked lived in. The rugs weren’t stiff from a lack of use. The beds didn’t stink from either overuse or lack of one. The room didn’t smell like dust or mites, and especially didn’t smell of sweat and old sex. In fact it was… well…
“Like home,” I whispered ever so softly.
It really was. Somehow. This wasn’t the building I had lived in long ago. It wasn’t the same people. But it was the same place. Made out of the same type of wood and trees. Made in the same styles and ways that Witch and her family had crafted with. It was all a little nicer than I remembered, but not so much nicer that it felt wrong to me.
It was really strange. A strange feeling of… being back where I should be, yet still being somewhere I’d never been.
Taking a deep breath, I sighed out a strange mix of feelings.
I was happy. Yet scared. Worried, yet relaxed.
“Is this how you always feel, Vim?” I wondered as I looked back out the window.
Through the window was now a new sight. A pair of men.
I stepped closed to the window, bumping my knee into the shelf beneath it, as I tried to peer through the blurry dullness of the badly made window.
The two men were walking past the house; one was carrying a pair of fishing poles and the other what looked to be little buckets full of random objects.
I see. They were indeed heading towards the nearby lakes.
How nice. I used to fish nearby often. Not just with Witch, but alone. I used to like fishing at a certain one of the lakes, one that was particularly empty of fish. It was a silly thing, to fish a lake lacking of them when surrounded by lakes full of them, but it brought me a strange sense of joy to do so. I had always wondered if one day I would actually catch one, and if or when I did how would I explain it?
A bit of movement drew my eyes. I looked up, and then slowly looked down as I followed a droplet of water. Reaching up, I touched the window pane ever so gently, and allowed the droplet of water to roll onto a finger.
Rubbing the droplet of water between fingers, I smiled at the strange moment.
I should feel like I was in a hurry. As if I had a bunch of things to do. A whole lot of stress, and worry, for many reasons… yet instead I felt so at ease…
Some footsteps drew my ears away from the window, and then I turned my head to listen closer to their sounds. I focused a bit, to tell if I needed to put a hat on or not. I heard Cat take a small breath as she knocked on the bedroom door. “Renn? You awake?”
“I am. Come on in,” I said. I was a little glad it was just her. I didn’t feel like covering my ears at the moment. I was enjoying the sound of the rain.
She opened the door, smiled at me and glanced around. “Oh…? Lilly’s not here either?” she asked.
“She’s off doing something. I think she likes to be alone sometimes,” I said.
“Ah… right… Owl right? Maybe they do like to be alone?” Cat wondered as she stepped into the room.
I nodded and shrugged, since I wasn’t sure. Sometimes owls seemed to be alone, but other times they always seemed to be traveling in pairs, so…
She stepped up next to me and glanced out the window. The two men were gone now, so all that we could see was the nearby garden and the road. A single house was in the distance, at a distant corner, and a lamppost between us.
“Can I ask something Renn?” Cat then asked.
“Sure.”
“Why don’t you want us to tell anyone else? About who you are?” she asked.
I shifted a little and tried to keep focused on the world outside. Cat was staring at me, and I knew I’d probably show my thoughts on my face if I looked her in the eyes.
“Well… I killed her, Cat. I killed my friend. Your ancestor. Witch,” I said.
“Yeah…? We all know, Renn.”
“I know you do. But… well…”
For a moment I wasn’t sure what to say. But then some words came to mind. “I shouldn’t be ashamed of what I did. I know that. She was in pain. Dying. And she wanted me to help her. But… she was my friend. My teacher,” I said.
“Didn’t Elaine talk to you about this…?” Cat asked.
I nodded. “She had. She said the same things you are. That I shouldn’t mind it. That it was okay. But… for now, please. Just keep who I am a secret from everyone. For now,” I said.
Cat sighed but nodded. “Right. Sure. But please don’t do it forever. Everyone here would love to meet you, Renn. You’re a legend. Proof of all our bloodline’s purpose and importance. How many others can claim saints in their ancestry? How many more can claim the servants of gods in their family too?” Cat said as she went back to staring out the window.
I smiled and nodded. “I know Cat. I promise, I will… I just want a little time. I’m still… a little shocked to be honest. I’m still trying to wrap my head around this all.”
“Did you not sleep a wink again?” Cat asked as she turned, likely to look at the nearby beds. Odds are she had noticed that one hadn’t been touched at all, Lilly’s, and mine was still made. It was a little jumbled, since I had sat upon it for a few hours and rested, but I hadn’t slept in it or got under any of the covers. In fact I’d not even moved a single pillow yet.
“I don’t need as much sleep as you Cat, you know that,” I said gently.
“Hm… I’m jealous. I feel like all I do is eat and sleep sometimes. Must be nice to have so much extra time,” she said.
I smiled at that. “It is sometimes. Other times it’s terribly boring. Since I usually get stuck somewhere quiet, dark and alone, so I have nothing to do all night,” I said.
Cat shifted at my words, and I realized I had said something that bothered her. I had likely said something she had found sad, or depressing, so I quickly glanced back at the window and gestured at it to change topics.
“Is Elaine awake yet?” I asked.
“Oh. Yes. She’s having her morning prayers; she usually finishes within an hour or so.”
“Prayers?” I asked.
“As I’m sure you noticed she’s… older. She can only perform small miracles once or twice a day anymore; doing much more makes her bedridden for days. She says spending time in the morning praying and purifying herself eases her discomforts and makes it easier to perform her miracles,” Cat said.
I frowned at that and wondered if it was true. I couldn’t remember Witch performing such prayers. In fact Witch hadn’t been religious at all, as far as I was aware.
“What of the young girl? The sick one?” I asked.
“Getting better. Saint Elaine saw her this morning; she said there was no need to perform another miracle. That she’ll be fine now,” Cat said as she turned and stepped away.
Glad to hear the girl would be fine I turned to watch her. She looked like she was about to leave the room, but instead paused in front of one of the beds. She reached out, grabbed the bed’s little frame stand, a wooden pole like thing, and squeezed it lightly.
Was she worried about something? Was that look of forlorn because of me, or something else…?
“You know, Cat,” I spoke up, worried for her.
Cat glanced at me, and I smiled at her.
“Witch. She would have complained something fierce if she had seen what this place became,” I said as I turned to look back out the window.
The rain had died down a little, though it sounded as if the wind had picked up a little.
“Yet for as much as she would have complained… I know she would have loved this. All of you. This village. She would have been very proud to know her memory lives on, and that there are others carrying on her life’s purpose,” I said.
Cat was silent, but I could hear her heartbeat. In this quiet room, in this quiet house. In this quiet village nestled deep in a quiet forest… many things were loud. And her heartbeat and quick breaths were very noisy at the moment. Almost as noisy as the footsteps heading our way.
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Nodding gently at my own reflection in the blurry window, I smiled at the young human woman who was hanging onto my every word.
“She’d have been proud Cat. Of all of you. I am too,” I said.
Cat sniffed, and was about to say something but Lilly stepped into the room.
Lilly’s arrival startled Cat, but not too badly. She made an odd noise and then chuckled. “Hey Lilly,” she greeted her.
“Hm. Are you crying? Was Renn being mean to you?” Lilly asked bluntly.
Cat laughed some more. “No! Not at all! I don’t think Renn can be mean to anyone, from what I’ve seen!” she said.
I frowned at that, and knew if Vim was here he’d scoff.
Turning around, I smiled at the two people I considered family. An older and younger sister, maybe.
Yes. I needed to be careful here.
Very careful.
“From my experience the nicest people can be the meanest,” Lilly said.
“That means Lilly is the nicest person in the world, I bet,” I said.
Lilly glanced at me, Cat held her breath, and then Lilly laughed. “Right!” she said.
I broke out into a smile at her laughter, since it seemed to be a rare thing. It sounded wonderful. She should do that more often. Maybe she would if we weren't around humans?
“Oh. Right. I need to go help prepare breakfast. That’s what I came to speak to you two about, to let you know you’re both invited to have breakfast with Saint Elaine later,” Cat then said, remembering her original task.
“I’d love to. Her house?” I asked.
Cat nodded. “I’ll come get you two when it’s ready,” she said as she stepped away from the bed and to the door.
Lilly stepped aside to let her leave, and Cat hurried away. Odds are she indeed forgot about it, Cat seemed a tad bit unfocused sometimes.
For a small moment Lilly and I listened to Cat as she hurried downstairs and got ready. I heard the sound of her putting on a jacket, and some thick boots. They made tiny squeaky sounds as she walked, as if they were slightly damp, as she left the house.
“I don’t think we were followed here Renn. If we had been, they disappeared without me noticing and without any trace,” Lilly said as she stepped closer.
“Hm… that’s a good thing, isn’t it?” I asked.
“For now.”
“And you’re sure we’d been followed? To your home?”
“Undoubtedly. There was a strange feeling at that little camp, and the horses kept looking across the ridge at something, or someone. Though no one was there,” Lilly said.
I frowned as I tried to remember what she meant. We had gone to pick Cat up, and had only been at that camp for a few moments. We’d picked her up and then headed straight back into the forest as to head back to Lilly’s house. I don’t think I even noticed any weird scent, or feeling, at the time.
“I’ll keep an eye out while we’re here. Just in case,” Lilly said as she looked out the window.
“Thanks… if someone from Telmik had followed us here, what would they do? You think?” I asked.
“With a saint? Renn… they’d kidnap her. Without hesitation,” Lilly said as if it was obvious.
Taking a deep breath, I sighed. “She’s already so old. And weak. She can barely perform the smallest of miracles without becoming bedridden. What would they possibly get from taking her like that?” I asked.
Lilly was quiet for a moment and then gestured lightly at the window, or rather the village beyond it. “You know what they’d get Renn. Plus it wouldn’t be just her. They’d take her descendants too. That young woman, her daughter, hadn’t been much older than Cat. She's still young enough to have children. Many children.”
My eyes closed as I groaned. “Would they really do that…?” I asked, afraid of the answer.
“They have.”
Great. Just great.
No wonder Vim didn’t want them to know about her.
No wonder he hides Narli then.
Though… Why did he let the Society know of the Keep then? What if someone went there? And revealed Narli’s presence?
Oplar went there, though supposedly she had only been there a few times. Likely alongside Vim when she went, too, but still… Not that Oplar would reveal Narli’s existence. She’s known all this time and hadn’t done it yet, so there was no doubting her loyalty.
“By the way I’m glad your friends turned out to be good people. I had been slightly worried, to be honest,” Lilly said.
“Worried…?” I asked. My mind was still focused on her previous comments, so I tried to set them aside for a moment and focus on Lilly’s upcoming statement, or question.
“I’d worried what would have happened. Had they been enemies.”
Oh. “I don’t think they are. Unless you believe otherwise,” I said.
Lilly shook her head and frowned. “No. I think they’re fine. The saint seems a little… off. But that might just be her age. In my experience most saints are weird, and humans are the weirdest creatures to walk this earth so she’s doubly weird,” Lilly said.
Smiling, I nodded. Humans were odd sometimes, yes.
Yesterday we had only spent a few hours with Elaine. Most of it had simply been me and her getting to know one another. I told her, alongside Cat, the story of how we had met. How Vim had found her, and what had happened. She had not yet told me of the supposed prophecy that led her to sending Cat and the others out on such a venture, but had told me she’d tell me today.
She had been tired yesterday. Not only was she elderly, she had used her power to heal that young girl. And that had depleted what little strength she had at the time. So after a few hours of talking, and tea, she had grown weary enough to request a reprieve. To take a nap. Well… that nap had turned into a full on slumber. The night had come, and went.
I had not doubted the woman's sincerity, concerning her exhaustion. I had watched Witch not just grow weak and tired from using her abilities, I had watched her wither into a near-corpse unable to get out of bed because of their overuse. It was why she had asked me to end her suffering. It had been too painful for her to endure.
It worried me that this Elaine seemed to be heading down a similar path... but maybe all saints did, inevitably.
Hopefully this morning’s breakfast, and the rest of the day, would be far more enlightening. I had so many questions. Last night we had spoken mostly about myself, and my journey here with Cat more than anything. I had barely been able to talk to her about Witch, or this place and her people.
I had much to say. And it strangely felt like I had little time to accomplish it.
As if I was in a hurry. Maybe I was.
“What’s wrong Renn?” Lilly then asked.
“Hm…?” I turned my head and wondered what she meant. Had I said something aloud just now? Vim did say I sometimes mumbled my thoughts.
“You look worried,” she said.
Oh. “I uh… I feel stretched. As if I should be hurrying, yet don’t know why,” I said.
“That’s because you’re anxious here. Hard to blame you, that saint is insufferable.”
“She is…?” I asked. She had seemed to me to be nothing but pleasant and kind yesterday. She had even spoken gently to Lilly, even though Lilly was abrupt and somewhat rude the entire time.
“She knows what I am. Yet didn’t even mention it. Usually saints either revere us, being descendants of their deities, or hate us for being the ones who helped destroy them. Yet she acted as if I was just another person. Another normal human. Not normal in my experience, for a saint to be like that,” Lilly said.
A little stunned, I blinked at Lilly who sighed and shook her head, as if she couldn’t believe Saint Elaine’s strange personality.
“You’ve met many of them, haven’t you?” I asked.
“Oh plenty. A lot had been born, or had been alive, during the wars. I don’t know why there aren’t as many of them nowadays, but they used to be everywhere. Used to find one in almost every town, at least human towns. As far as I know there have only been a handful of non-human saints ever born, strangely, but there have always been plenty of human ones.”
Very interested, I nodded. “Back in the day, when I had lived here with Witch, we had traveled around a lot. Healing and helping people. She was considered odd but not so odd to be attacked or seen as something crazy. You’re right that back then they had been more well known, and seen as more normal,” I said.
“Right? I’ve killed my fair share but if anyone is to credit for their upcoming extinction I blame the humans and Vim,” Lilly said with a nod.
Once again my head hurt. “Vim’s hatred of them was that strong?” I asked.
“It used to be. At least, so he says. Back when we hunted some of them, it hadn’t been because he hated saints but because they had been trying to eliminate the Society. A lot of them had banded together to try and destroy us, so we had to destroy them first. But the way Vim thinks of them? I have no doubt he used to hunt them fiercely. I sometimes wonder what a saint did to him to make him so pissed off… and in that same manner, I’ve always wondered why he then put up with Celine for so long too,” Lilly said.
Gosh!
I groaned, which made Lilly glance and frown at me. “What?”
“I have so many questions!” I complained. I barely had enough brain capacity for the ones I wanted to ask Elaine, now what was I going to do with these new ones for Lilly!?
Lilly chuckled at me. “You sure do sometimes seem to have a lot of those. I bet Vim hates that,” she said.
“He does. Half the time he doesn’t even answer them, and just starts talking about something else instead,” I said, complaining about him.
Lilly chuckled again and nodded. “Yeah. It was funny to listen to him talk to people, and then just turn and walk away sometimes. Some people didn’t get the hint and kept asking the questions again, thinking he didn’t hear them or something. It was funny seeing people get all upset and angry over it.”
I smiled at that and nodded too. “I’ve seen him do that. To me too,” I said.
“You really must be a kind woman then, to put up with that. I’d only be able to do it because I know he’d let me do it to him in return and he’d not get offended. Windle gets all whiny when I ignore him for too long, or keep secrets,” Lilly said.
I smirked at that. Yes. Windle did seem to be the type to do something like that.
“So we both have our hands full, don’t we?” I said happily.
Lilly nodded… and then her smile died down a little, as she suddenly became a little serious.
I hesitated for a moment, and wondered if maybe she had seen or heard something. Our pursuer maybe? Saint Elaine? I glanced out the window but saw nothing, nothing of note-worth at least.
“Before we go get deeper involved in this… I’d like to say something, if that’s okay,” Lilly then said.
I shifted, turned and nodded. Lilly’s voice had taken a deeper tone, as she lowered her voice.
“I know to you they’re family, Renn. Friends. People to trust. But… just in case… if something happens, well…”
I gulped, but nodded. “I know, Lilly. That’s why Vim sent me to you, I think,” I said softly.
She smiled again, this time a little sadly. “Yes. I believe so too. But I still want to say it, aloud,” she started. She turned to look at me, looking away from the window finally, and she nodded at me. “Like I said. To you they’re family. Even if humans. And… well…”
Holding her gaze, I noticed her large pupils widen a little. As if she had just unfocused a little, but I knew she was staring deeply at me. Focused on me as much as I was her.
“I don’t know if I could kill my own family, Renn.”
I blinked, and my heart thumped in worry. Why was she saying such a thing as that!
“A long time ago, before my first child was born, I had been assaulted. By a son. The son of a man who was a friend. Not just my friend, but a good friend of many of us. Vim’s friend too. That friend, Yangli, had tried to stop his son from hurting me. From raping me. He hadn’t been able to do it. He had tried, but failed in the moment. He had hesitated, unable to kill his own son,” Lilly said.
I grabbed my pants, unable to say a word as Lilly sighed and nodded at me.
“I had for a long time blamed him for not being strong enough. But… I also never faulted him. Since it wasn’t too long after that incident, after I had given birth to Leaf, that I realized why. I had… learned to understand it. His failure had not been from a lack of conviction, or strength, but pure and simple love. Love for his child. So… I get it. I do. If something happens, Renn, let me handle it. So that you don’t need to stain your hands with the blood of your family,” Lilly then said.
My heart welled, as did my eyes, as I found myself utterly humbled by Lilly’s sudden loyalty.
Reaching over, I took the owl’s hand. She shifted a little, seemingly bothered, but I ignored her worry as I cupped her hand and held it, as if it was precious. Because it was. She was precious.
“I’ve already stained my hands, Lilly… but… I’ll thankfully accept your kindness all the same, if it comes to that,” I said, barely able to speak as tears began to leak from my eyes.
Lilly stared a little wide-eyed at me, but she nodded all the same. She didn’t pull her hand away, and seemed to calm down a little… as if growing used to my touch. She even returned the hold, with her fingers clenching my own ever so slightly.
I knew her loyalty to me here, this offer, was because of Vim. She saw Vim so highly that such loyalty and kindness had extended to me… but somehow that only made it seem all the more precious to me.
“Thank you,” I whispered again, and meant it. Even if I didn’t believe she’d ever need to display such loyalty, least of all here, I was glad to have it.
And I hoped one day, to be able to return the favor. Somehow. Someway.
She deserved it. Every ounce of it.
No wonder Vim trusted her. No wonder Vim loved her.
No wonder he had said I could too.
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