Slowly approaching the home… I felt strangely apprehensive.
Why? What was wrong? It looked… relatively the same. Almost.
The yards around the house weren’t the same anymore. What had been mostly open grass fields were now littered with bushes and trees. Some of them so big, so boisterous… it was almost like it was more a mess than not.
The fence wasn’t the same either. I slowed as I neared it, and wondered if maybe for a moment I was approaching the wrong house… but no. Surely not.
I’d not forget that tree at least. The one where Ginny was buried under. Though it had not been that big at all when we had done so. Was it sickly…? It almost looked like it was leaning a little.
The village had grown too. Nearby buildings, other houses and farms had been built nearby. Some a little too close, for my own liking. So close that I’d worry about staying here for extended periods, out of fear of my traits being noticed by strangers and neighbors.
Why had Lujic let them build so closely? He had used to keep them distant. On purpose. So that I could visit without worry. It was why we hadn’t lived in the village proper, but out here instead.
Thinking of those days, living here with Lujic and Ginny… made me sad. But not fully. They were happy memories, even if they made me want to cry.
Blinking blurry eyes as I heard the sound of children, I slowed a little as a few came into view. They ran around the edge of the house, chasing each other happily. A few were shouting, but somehow through my blurry eyes and emotions I didn’t really make out what was being said.
All I saw and heard were a group of kids, boys and girls, happily playing together.
How lovely. How sweet.
How did Lujic give birth to so many? How did his wife endure? It was almost comical he’d have so many children and I’ve yet to have one.
I’ll have to tell him that. He’d laugh at that. With his deep voice and…
“Oh my goodness!”
I froze, not liking the tone that had just been used to shout aloud. I turned just enough to meet a pair of wide-eyes. Ones swirling with delight.
Rushing towards me, I firmed my footing just long enough to realize who was running at me. Someone with a particular recognizable face, and hair color.
“Ginny…?” I asked as the young woman pushed open the gate to the fence and hurried over.
“Grandma!” the young woman nearly jumped on me as she wrapped her arms around me, embracing me in a huge hug.
Grandma!?
I couldn’t help but laugh at the craziness of what was happening, barely believing it as I returned the hug.
“Is that you Ginny?” I asked, not believing it.
Gosh she was taller than me! Bigger! Last time I’d been here she was not even up to my knee!
The girl giggled away, and then squeezed me tighter. “I am! But I’m not too!” she said.
Oh? What did she…?
Oh. Right. She wasn’t my Ginny. Not Lujic’s sister.
A strange joke, but I’d allow it.
After a few moments of hugging, out of the corner of my eye I noticed others looking at us. They had heard Ginny’s shout and were staring at us from a distance, if not the kids from the yard but adults from the windows.
Wait… windows? Plural?
Studying the house… I found it oddly a little different. There were more windows now. Other sets.
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They had added to the house! I wonder how many rooms it was now!
Plus… those were definitely other adults staring at me. More than just one or two… did they have visitors, maybe?
Maybe that was why there were so many kids. They weren’t Lujic’s, but guests.
“Come on! Oh my goodness… you arrived at the perfect time. Oh boy…” Ginny suddenly became weird as she stepped back and suddenly frowned.
“Perfect time…?” I asked. What’d she mean?
“Ginny!” a new voice shouted, and the girl in front of me flinched… and as I turned to look at the new speaker, I found someone I recognized.
Lujic’s wife…? But she looked…
“Ma! Come say hi! To Grandma Renny!” Ginny said as she pointed at me.
The woman, who looked like Lujic’s wife but surely couldn’t be, became stunned. Her shoulders lowered flatly, her eyes went wide… and then she hurried away from the house towards us.
Not really understanding what was going on, I felt my mind become strangely numb… as Ginny greeted me, but not with a hug but a quickly hushed whisper.
“Renn…! It really is you?” Ginny asked as she grabbed my arms, as if to hold me out in front of her as to examine me.
I nodded slowly. “And you’re the Ginny I remember. You’ve grown,” I said awkwardly, as I realized, kind of, what was going on.
The Ginny I had just hugged. The one I had first greeted, had indeed been a Ginny… but not the young daughter of Lujic. Instead that Ginny was before me now. A full grown woman. With a daughter of her own.
Which was why I had been called grandma. Of all things.
I was a grandma…!
Technically I was beyond even that, but the thought still made me smile as tears attacked the corner of my eyes.
“I can’t believe you’re here! Just in time too…!” Ginny then shouted, and then shook her head quickly, causing her hair to dance all over. “No time! Quickly! Go see him!” she then pulled me forward towards her, but stepped aside so she could push me towards the house.
“Hm? Lujic? Yeah I’m here to see him and…” I started to say, finding it a little odd they’d rush me so much. What was the hurry…? I wanted to properly introduce myself to the new Ginny, and all the other kids!
But before I could say anything, and be heard, I was pushed forward through the gate and towards the house… by not just one Ginny, but two.
“Take her to him, while I tell everyone what’s going on,” I heard Ginny, the older one, say with a hushed tone to her daughter.
“Okay Ma,” the younger girl obliged as we entered the house, and I was hit with a strange wave of memories.
Walking through the house, even while being stared at by other people. Children, adults, some I felt familiar and others I didn’t alike, I was guided to a hallway. One I remembered.
The house wasn’t exactly as I remembered it, of course. The furniture had been arranged differently. There was more of it in some places, less of it in others… but for a few moments… I wasn’t walking through this home, but the one in my memories.
I could even smell the same house. I could smell Ginny and Lujic. Myself.
My eyes blurred a little, and I tried not to cry as I felt a strange feeling. One I’d not felt ever before.
What was this emotion? It was sad, yet happy, and… strangely… it almost felt as if I was now at peace.
As if I was at home.
Then I was guided through a door. Into a room. One that stunk.
And…
Going still… I hesitated… as I recognized the smell instantly. Not just because it was the smell of my young, scrawny, knight… but…
Staring down at an old man in a shallow bed… I instantly forgot all about that warm and happy feeling I just had. All the thoughts, and expectations, of seeing all the new faces. All the new children and family members… all of that just disappeared without warning. Any and all fuzzy joy was gone now. Replaced with utter despair… as I realized what was happening.
My boy. Lujic. That wonderful little knight…
Was now an old dying man in his bed.
Lujic was dying.
A frail old man, with sunken cheeks and hallow eyes, was sleeping in the bed before me. All of my memories of the tall, broad shouldered and young knight were so fresh in my mind, that I almost couldn’t believe what I was seeing.
How had he gotten so old so quickly?
“Grandpa? Your friend is here.”
As the young girl tried to wake him… I realized once again the world was ready to be cruel.
And this time I wasn’t going to be able to endure it, was I?
But all the same…
She knelt next to the rickety bed, tapping his shoulder as to wake him.
He didn’t wake.
The girl tried a few more times, but I gathered myself enough to clear my voice. “It is fine. Let him sleep,” I was barely able to whisper.
She glanced up at me, and then with a knowing smile nodded and stepped away. She left the little room, leaving me and my friend alone.
To say goodbye.
Again.
For the last time.
Again.