When the time came to depart the Summer Sun Sect, John was no closer to reaching an answer on whether remarrying was something he wanted or not. A decade or two prior the answer would have been entirely clear, as he wouldn’t have even considered it. Many things had changed in that time, and John was among those things. It would have been convenient if he could simply continue to reject the idea on its face, but he couldn’t.

  Even if he came to the conclusion that he would like to remarry, it wouldn’t necessarily be to Astrid. With no offense meant to her, it wouldn’t really make sense to jump at the first viable options. She had a number of features that attracted his attention. He liked her gentle but not timid nature. Her intelligence and determination reminded him of Matayal. The cultivation talent of any future partner was important to consider, as it would impact his ambitions if things were unbalanced, but Astrid in particular met that threshold. She was also physically attractive but… that was hardly worth considering. Pretty much every cultivator was, depending on the particular tastes of those judging, since they would be at the peak of health.

  John kept his departure polite but pleasant. He couldn’t and wouldn’t promise anything to Astrid at the current point except future consideration. Since the subject had been broached, she’d been quite patient… and as a cultivator she could afford to wait a few years if it took that long. Not that all cultivators were actually patient in proportion to their lifespans.

  “I look forward to future encounters,” John said truthfully. If nothing else, they could discuss cultivation and mutually benefit. A handful of days of interaction was only enough to open his eyes to certain possibilities, leaving him with a significant amount to think about.

  Using light to empower fire wasn’t unheard of, but John had found a few insights relative to himself. Having good relations with neighbors regardless of other details was part of the reason for the current journey, and John thought things had been going well. The traveling group departed for the Golden Tomb Guardians, where they would be met by additional disciples now that they were closer to the Six Elements Crossroads. Not all disciples were willing or able to take a months long journey based on their current flow of cultivation or duties to the sect, but if they could join for at least part of it the benefits would be significant.

  -----

  John’s approach to the Golden Tomb Guardians was far less formal than the Summer Sun Sect. Both he and the sects had a longer relationship, so it didn’t seem strange to walk up and hug Deirdre. But after he did so, John had to take a look inside himself.

  Silently, Deirdre was rejected inside John’s heart. Or something like that, anyway. It wasn’t like she had ever shown interest, and John was fairly certain she had something going on with Zacharie. There was the matter of her being part of the club, but that wouldn’t have been an insurmountable obstacle. While there were risks to becoming romantically entangled with a friend, it didn’t hurt to have a basis to the relationship. The main reason, however, was simple. That long relationship was certainly one of friends, but Deirdre also reminded John of a sister. He cared about her, but not in that way.

  John shook his head to clear it, moving to give a respectful bow to Cuah’arn. She inclined her head in return. He would have gladly hugged the bird if she wasn’t so powerfully light infused. A light cultivator could control that, but Cuah’arn was more like a source than a vessel. “It is good to return once more unto your watchful gaze,” John said. “The whole of the Sunfields has become more prosperous with the guidance of you and the sect.”

  “And the continent has prospered with the heart of unity your Six Elements Crossroads had provided,” Cuah’arn replied. “Welcome once again.”

  John was glad for the interaction, as the subject of marriage had somehow reduced his thoughts to that of a teenager. Perhaps a bit more constrained than that, though he hadn’t actually been a teenager in over seventy years. Though he had double the memories, so maybe that counted for more.

  Even if John wasn’t sure if he actually wanted a romantic partner, his mind was still looking and assessing, something it hadn’t done in forever. Practically since coming to this world, since he’d been tied to Matayal already. That said, the growth of their relationship into something more than a political marriage was something akin to a late courtship.

  The sect grounds of the Golden Tomb Guardians were far more strongly light element than the Summer Sun Sect. It was still a bit oppressive, but it gave John an excellent opportunity to focus on his various adaptation methods. The stronger the light was the more difficult it was to let it evenly flow around him without forcing it. It was like training just for walking around, which wasn’t always what John wanted but now it was quite nice.

  -----

  Sitting down for a discussion somewhere private was nice, but John could have done without the light streaming in from above, seemingly amplified by the glass windows. The difficulty was worthwhile, however, as the discussions involved the light element and being bombarded by it while discussing techniques was technically good for John, even if it hurt. Like exercise, as long as it wasn’t taken too far.

  “What do you think about my spiritual totem options?” John asked Cuah’arn. Even if she didn’t cultivate like humans, she came with some natural insights into light- and she had been around human cultivators for ages. She had more knowledge than any of the current members of the sect.

  Cuah’arn pondered for a few moments, her reverse-silhouette shifting. John never tried to make out details beyond that profile, because it just hurt his eyes. It was probably as bad as staring at the sun- not that she was equally bright, but Cuah’arn did happen to be some tens of millions of kilometers closer. Depending on how far the local sun was precisely, which John didn’t quite know how to calculate nor care to.

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  “I think, John, that you have already rejected those totems that would be problematic for you. Your reasoning for each of your current candidates is solid. You need light to work with your other elements, and the totems reflect that. However, I suspect that the attunement process will be extremely difficult.”

  “I know what you mean,” John said. “Entering the sixth layer isn’t too burdensome for me, but drawing close to light totems is strenuous.”

  “And yet, I imagine that is insufficient. Will you not need to face light both inside and out?” Cuah’arn asked. “This is why I asked you to meet me in the central chambers. Here, it will be most difficult… but I will be watching over you. No serious harm would come to you in your meditations.”

  “How reassuring.” It was actually a good offer, though. It would be like a precursor to his actual advancement. He still needed to surpass four more ranks of cultivation, as he wasn’t even in the late Ascending Soul Phase yet, but based on his experience with advancing to Ascending Soul he really couldn’t begin preparations too soon. “I will gladly take you up on that offer.”

  “Let us begin now,” Cuah’arn said. “I know you would normally stabilize yourself first, but diving in a bit off balance might be good for you.”

  “Right,” John agreed. “In that case…”

  He closed his eyes- though that only slightly reduced the brightness of the scene in front of him- and took a deep breath. He could feel the prickling light element dancing around him. His instincts told him to reject it, but that wouldn’t be much good for his future advancement. He would need to draw it into him even as he bonded to his final totem.

  At the moment, he was at his capacity of light element so he wasn’t planning to try that step. Cuah’arn couldn’t protect him from internally damaging himself with his own foolishness. John thought about how he should best handle it… and decided that letting it flow into and through him while at the same time he pushed out a steady flow of light element might be best.

  Normally he would have already been diving into the sea of spiritual totems, but keeping a conscious focus on his cultivation would make that more difficult. He at least wanted a steady rhythm first. John suspected he was glowing as he released light, at the same time allowing more to enter him. His internal energy was already arranged in such a way that the darkness would not come directly into contact with the light- or close enough to collapse into each other.

  Once he had a flow that he could have kept going all day in other circumstances, John split off a portion of his consciousness. There was a bit of a trick to diving into the sea of spiritual totems, but he’d done it many times before. Traversing the earlier layers wasn’t difficult, even with his attention split.

  Around the fifth layer, he was feeling the weight of the spiritual pressure and the draw of the various spiritual totems. He could easily chase after them, but he would lose his concentration on the flow of energy. His health should be fine if he simply stopped absorbing and expelling light element, but if he slipped and his control went haywire he could foresee all sorts of dangers. He’d let himself be thrown out of the sea of spiritual totems first- though he couldn’t afford that during his potential advancement.

  The sixth layer was heavier still. The totems there were powerful, representing concepts that he and others strove for. Whether there was direct influence or not, he didn’t know. It was impossible to perfectly describe a totem to another without them seeing it- and if it was they would certainly be able to find it simply by ‘knowing’ it existed.

  John didn’t care how much they existed on their own. Totems had real effects. He searched out totems of the light element- not necessarily those he intended to bond to but any that seemed as if it could support multiple elements.

  He was already sweating when he looked at the first one. A room full of light, with shadowed corners. That particular construct at least balanced his worst fears, but he felt only a weak mental connection to it. Light and darkness had to learn to get along, but simply being separate wasn’t good enough. He didn’t want to dip into six small buckets of elements and use them one at a time. They needed to be a single harmonious whole.

  He was drawn towards a field of firegrass, likely due to his recent interactions with a physical version. They stretched limitlessly onto the horizon of his mind, strong and powerful. But John didn’t want to just turn light into another element.

  The flow of energy through him was turbulent. Controlling that while resisting the pressure of the sea of spiritual totems was like marching in the desert in military gear. He knew he would have to endure far more for his actual advancement, however. He pushed onward.

  For a moment, he thought he’d withdrawn from the sea of spiritual totems, for he saw only his own closed eyelids. But he could still feel the pressure around him, and when he turned his perception he could still observe the rest of the element infused void. Certainly, closed eyes surrounded by light represented light and darkness. It being his own eyes said something of his self confidence, perhaps. He was not disappointed, but it wasn’t a particularly inspiring totem.

  He began to reach for another, feeling around for the right mixes of spiritual elements, but he felt a discomfort coming from inside his body. He withdrew from the sea immediately, the release of pressure a great relief even as he found he’d absorbed more light element than intended. He instinctually released it in a widespread beam. Even diffuse, it was sufficient power that it might have harmed another structure.

  Then again, he wouldn’t have overindulged if he was anywhere else. Gathering too much light element wouldn’t actually be a huge issue during his actual advancement, as that was the time to let loose, but he needed to maintain some balance.

  He was briefly dripping with sweat… but it evaporated rapidly in the concentrated light. “Hmm. That’s quite difficult,” he commented to Cuah’arn. “I think I am finished for the day, but if you are available tomorrow I would appreciate you watching over me once more.”

  “Of course. You have been a steadfast ally… and I am interested in your potential.”