"That fudging fluffstick. That frolicking filthrag. Bubbling Burbles, I'm going to —"

  "All that, huh?"

  "I'll tear that filthy deck from his cccc — still warm but cooling deeaaa... very alive hands."

  "Oof, that one scared me bro. Shivering at this bloodlust."

  Jimmy glared at her.

  Then continued pacing. He'd made it three hours in the fur-things presence. Three long hours. Three hours where he happily helped install a bunk-bed and munched on cookies that little gum chewing slime worm's mother fed them and smiled and somehow got nowhere close to the sneering smearballs pockets because he kept skipping out of reach.

  He seemed to think it was funny, too.

  'Tonight.' Jimmy thought. Clenching his fist. 'I know where he lives now. And, I have practice....'

  "Who-boy." Kaykes rolled to a sitting position on Jimmy's bed — she'd been splayed out, texting with half a mind on her phone. She palmed her face. "One break in under your belt, and now you're an expert, huh?"

  Jimmy blinked at her.

  "Oh... you didn't think you said that out loud?"

  Jimmy spun away clenching his fist. He didn't care what Kaykes said. She'd stopped him from getting his — Jimmy shuddered — she was not stopping him from —

  "What are Brick Things?"

  "What?"

  "What. Are. Brick. Things?" She arched her eyebrow — singular — at his fist, which he noticed now was clenched tightly around an unusually earthy looking card. "You were babbling that when you pulled it out. Sounded like you were going to brain the kid with it."

  That... sounded like a perfectly reasonable brick thing to Jimmy. He could....

  "Doesn't that seem odd to you, though? No, really —" When Jimmy sneered. "Like, It could have been called Brick for Braining Things, but it wasn't."

  "So?" Jimmy looked huffily at the oceanic-blue-tinged-brown card in his hand before materializing it. He held it up. "It's a brick." Still warm from the sun with splotches of concrete, dirt and empty spider egg sacks still clinging to it. He flourished it at her and almost fumbled it. "See?"

  "Soooo... why isn't it called Just a Brick, then? What's that one called?" She gestured to one fluttering next to his closed door where all of his shoes usually stayed.

  "Slippers. Just Slip—" Kaykes' eyebrow raised maddeningly. "What? We already knew my condition was weird! You're trying to distract me." He accused.

  Jimmy re-carded the brick — Brick... For Brick Things! forcefully.

  "Mmm, is it working?"

  "No."

  "Bleh..." Kaykes stuck her tongue out. "Must not have been really trying then."

  Jimmy scowled at her. She was still doing it. He didn't know what it was she was doing... just that she was....

  "I just think it bears thought, you know?"

  "It's a dumb pow — condition. It's got stupid rules and needs and conditions and names."

  "Does it though?" Kaykes clicked her tongue.

  "Stop it, Kaykes!"

  "Stop what?" She opened wide, innocent eyes in his direction. Honestly, they were good. Bambi would have been fooled.

  "Being..." He waved his hand at her. "Emotionally... Frictional!"

  "Oohhhhh...."

  He glared. "I can do it." He said. "You think that was the only ladder I had? I have High Walker and Epic Step-Stool on standby. I know where his room is, and it's got a window. Use a ladder, card the window open, use Brick... For Brick Things!! on the stu— c-clever flobberworm... walk really quietly so I don't wake up the flobberworm... I'll get them. I'll get my....

  "O-ok." Kaykes held up an infuriating hand with an infuriating smirk tugging on the edges of her lips. "I got it. I get it. I really do. You're upset. I feel you. That flobberworm!" Kaykes shook her fist. "Aaargghhh! Gahh!!! Children! I know —"

  "Are you trying... empathy?"

  "But Jimmy, you have to see how dumb an idea this is. I can list the—"

  "Don't tell me the o—"

  "Kids are notoriously light sleepers. He's obviously already suspicious of you."

  "—Tsk. He knows noth—"

  "Anything goes wrong, and the feds have a Buck-identical incident on their rather capable hands right next door to —" She enumerated them on her fingers — "Young, possibly teenage. In driving distance to Buck's school. In biking distance to Bucks house. Knows where Buck lives, tenuous connection to Vick — oh, how's that going by the way?"

  "Fffiiii—"

  "Ah. That bad, huh?"

  Somehow his searing glare didn't so much as singe her bangs. Probably because she had sister powers and could stave off his ire with a Sisterly Shield of Derision.

  "Give." Kaykes held out a hand imperiously. "I can probably solve one of your problems. Then we can talk about the other."

  "Oh? Now you're willing to help? After all that evil 'threats you don't keep' monologue?"

  "I realize I was being heartless. You don't beat puppy's for being helpless. You coddle them."

  "... You know? I don't think I need your he—"

  That taut thread connecting him to Vicky pulled. It had never been strong, but it felt like a frayed cobweb now. So ephemeral and barely there. It felt stale and —

  Jimmy handed her his phone, shuddering involuntarily at what he knew would happen if that thread snapped. "Careful with it..." Kaykes rolled her eyes and flopped back onto his bed already scrolling.

  "Mmmmm. Oohh." Kaykes hummed. "Eeeehh... Yea, I felt that.... Mmm, classic strawman deflection. Oh ok, folding... folding again." She hummed some more.

  Jimmy went back to pacing and every once in a while cast a glance in his sister's direction. She was shaking her head now.

  He'd tried everything he could think of by now. He'd written novels about what had happened and why... Girls were weird he thought. If she had explained half the things he had to him.... And his heart thudded at what he knew was waiting for him when that cobwebby tenuous thread finally went the way of the Stead of Steel and Grease.

  Kaykes huffed and quirked an eyebrow. "Dude, you're like a napkin. Ok. I see what I'm dealing with here. Boys!"

  "You're fourteen!"

  "Mom says I'm very mature for my age."

  Kaykes hopped up as Jimmy stared at her, and stretched.

  She flexed her fingers several times, wove them together and pushed with them, moving her shoulders back and forth. Then she rolled her head around her neck several times and shook out her arms, hopping up and down like she was warming up for a boxing match. "Ugghhh. You're gonna owe me so big for this, Jimmy," she said, popping her shoulders. "I don't even like this bitch."

  "Don't call her tha—" and then Jimmy stared uncomprehendingly after his sister as she strode confidently out of his room.

  He looked back at his bed which still had the divot in it from where she'd been sitting and a couple cards strewn around it. Then back at his open door....

  She... still had his phone.... 'She walked out with... with my phone!'

  Jimmy sprang for the door, and knew it was already too late even before he heard the audible click of the bathroom door's lock — locking.

  It sounded far more fateful than those types of clicks usually did.

  "Kaykes. Sis. Please open the door."

  He tried the doorknob, again. It was as locked as before

  Kaykes was humming. He could hear her over the news station his mother turned on when she'd come back. The announcer was discussing the Sudan initiative. Ardent Fang was apparently not going well for allied forces.

  —lord, Salim Abdallah, able to grant temporary powers to his subordinates, has met the marines advance with waves of enhanced tro—

  "Come on, Kaykes. I know you're just trying to he—"

  Kaykes gasped audibly.

  "Kaykes?"

  "—no, she didn't!"

  "What. Did. She. SAY?"

  "Ooh boy. She wants to play hard?" Knuckles cracked. Crickety crick-crack.

  "Kaykes. Kaykes. Stop. Are you — Don'tyoudaretextanything! Kaykes!"

  —ome of them can fly! Some of them kick off earthquakes when they –

  "Shut up, Jimmy. Your agony is distracting."

  Jimmy tried the door again. Then hammered on it. "Kaykes! Stop. You can't do this!"

  "You can't do this!" Kaykes mimicked in pitched baby tone. "Oh, yes I can... how do you like them apples. And them. Oh, yea... and she's coming back for.... Actually that's a good one.... Damn it, bro. You make this so hard."

  "Kaykes. Kaykes! Stop this right now," Jimmy hissed through the door rattling the knob futilely. She — she couldn't stop him from coming in, Jimmy had the sudden thought. She —

  "Don't even think about it Jimmy. I'm on the toilet. Don't do anything that'll make you want to un-see some things."

  'But Kaykes lies like she breathes.' Jimmy thought desperately. "She's a lying liar who lies all the time. Not like me. Not like....' Jimmy snarled, his hand poised over the door. But he could also see her not lying in this particular instance just in case....

  — An emergency bill authorizing novel munitions just passed the house with bipartisan support and is being fast tracked to the Senate floor where it is expected to be received with overwhelm—

  "Kaykes! He hissed with enough venom behind it to put a stone in cardiac arrest. "Don't you fudging dare say anything I wouldn't say."

  "But isn't that the problem, bro? You keep saying things that you would say. It's appalling! Ugh. But you and me, Bitch captain. We understand each other...." And his sister descended into dark muttering as Jimmy slid slowly to the floor.

  He could feel it. That thread in his Inexplicable Somewhere. Vicky's thread. It was straining, and pulling, and.... At least it was taut, Jimmy thought as sweat beaded on his forehead. At least....

  The lock clicked and the door opened. Dark, judgmental eyes glared down at him pitilessly. "You sorry, sorry thing...."

  She tossed The Guy's Phone For Illicit Dealings to him as she stepped passed, and Jimmy was so out of sorts that he completely missed catching it, and it clocked him on the head.

  He fumbled for it and held the screen up to his face with the same trepidation he would use if he was doing the same thing with a particularly incensed snake.

  He did not want to see what his sister had texted. He did not....

  [4:24 PM — TG] 'No. Fuck you! I broke in to your damn ex's house for you.'

  [4:24 PM — TG] 'I trusted you. I liked you. A lot. But I don't need this. You want to be done? Poof, you're free. Enjoy your discount.'

  Jimmy stared in horror. It was so... so much worse than....

  Vicky was typing. Jimmy saw. He stared at the icon like it was a train barreling off the tracks.

  It disappeared. Then it reappeared.

  "Kaykes." Jimmy whispered hoarsely. "What did you do?!"

  "You'll thank me later."

  The texting icon came back.

  [4:25 PM — VM] 'Fine'

  Something in Jimmy broke. He could feel it snap.

  His eyes bulged. But she wasn't done.

  [4:26 PM — VM] 'I like discounts. I liked you too. But I wouldn't unpack this with gloves on.'

  [4:26 PM — VM] 'Don't text me again. I'm blocking you.'

  Jimmy pulled himself up like he was in a daze. He was trembling as he tottered back to Kaykes room where she was gazing moodily out of her window. "Kaykes. You've killed me, Kaykes," he croaked.

  Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the violation.

  "Hmm?" Kaykes peered distractedly back at him. "Did she block you? I thought she would."

  Jimmy stared at her apathetic face. She rolled her eyes.

  "Oh stop being so dramatic. Congratulations. You're almost through your first standup-knockdown sweetheart battle." She waved her hand dismissively.

  "Kaykes. You don't know what you're talking about. You've never dated anyone!"

  "What? So? I told you, I've watched plent—"

  "No! You — you always just do things! You never think! You never ask! Like you don't even care about what it — it might do to anyone else but you!"

  Jimmy brandished his phone. Part of him wanted to throw it at her! Part of him wanted to.... "All just part of the newest game you're playing," He hissed. "You don't care about —" his jaw locked. "Carrots. We're all just carrots to you!" And that he could say.

  "You really think that, bro?"

  Of course, he did. He'd said it hadn't he? And he wasn't a lying liar who lied. He was Jimmy. And he was going to die. That was also truth.

  He could feel that thread pulling and twisting. It was so thin, it should split the hand that grasped it. So ephemeral it should have wafted away in the lightest breeze. And when it broke, he knew he would too.

  Jimmy didn't remember all the things that tumbled out of his mouth. But they hurt her.

  Good.

  "Uuuch! It is the Name, Borengirdle."

  The Woman stomped over, glowering. Or, at least it looked like she was trying to stomp. It also looked like she was worried the myriad of books and tombs lining the walls from floor to ceiling might jump out and attack her at any moment judging from the looks she kept shooting them.

  "Of course it is the Name. The poor boy hasn't even opened the gift yet. Servitors, I Art Thine Master. Phah! Such needless ostentation."

  The woman shook her head hard in chagrin and cocked her head. "Why not call it what it is!"

  Divinity For Thine Service

  She looked at the boy and the Blackness in her eyes seemed to deepen.

  "A power gifted to one who can.

  A power granted to no other man.

  A power to grant gifts of craft an' skill,

  an' to levy soldiers to fight at thine will.

  Costless ’tis not, but such a cost —" The Woman laughed.

  "Affections an' virtue, shalt thee take,

  and thee shalt do so for thine own sake.

  On Passion an' Love an' Youth shalt thee pray

  An' thus make them grander in thine own way."

  The Bearded man gazed balefully at The Woman. "Quite... Agatha. Much less ostentatious."

  But then he turned glimmering eyes on The Boy. The Boy had started rubbing his hands together — Divinity did have a nice ring to it — but he hesitated again now.

  He looked from one set of glimmering eyes to ones that were black as pitch, almost thought better of it, then blurted out "That is perfect! Amazing! But... could you elaborate more about those costs you mentioned? The... ah. Affections? And... uh, virtue? And... uh. Actually, everything after 'Will'...."

  The Boy slumped. He sounded ungrateful. He knew he did. They were offering him MAGIC, and he was quibbling over it like... something. The Boy couldn't remember what. And it didn't matter! They probably weren't going to give him a gift anymore, The Boy thought sadly. There were probably thousands of....

  "Of course, my boy!" The Bearded man hopped up, his beard practically bristling with fervor. He snapped his fingers and one of his parchments zoomed helpfully in front of him and expanded to the size of a white board, and suspiciously blank somehow.

  The Woman made a small 'tsch' sound in the back of her throat and folded her arms.

  The Man quickly covered the board in a mysterious artistry of lines and circles and geometry that almost seemed to crackle on the parchment as he drew them, and he augmented them with runic characters that, somehow, made even less sense to The Boy, and numbers that did, but not the way he used them.

  At one point The Woman quipped, "I think you flipped the tertiary plane on the fifth integrity instance, Borengirdle." To which The man responded with such a line of affronted gibberish that The Boy's eyes bulged, and The Woman backed up a step hurriedly.

  "This is, of course, the formative basis of" — The Boy could practically feel The Woman rolling her eyes — "Servitors, I Art Thine Master —" He paused. "Far simplified of course. And these measurements here — he licked his finger distractedly and jabbed it at the edge of the board — "are your resting Anima supply, aggregated Mana ambiance by decitile, common rate of Anima generation, augmented rate of Anima generation, assumed Mana conversion contingencies, your Existentiality Quotient using the Menovchinsky's Eternal Possibility Expansion method and Alvin Tilderman's expanded range of Adoption Principles. This term here —"

  "Oh, get on with it, Borengirdle. The boy doesn't even have a five o-clock shadow! He asked about the sex, Not the number of Elementary Principles you've memorized!"

  "The... sex?" The Boy squeaked, as Borengirdle turned on the woman, beard bristling.

  They both looked at him and The Boy felt his face start to heat up.

  "Well... of course." The man said after a moment as both he and the woman shared a look of bewilderment. "How else do you think we'll power it all? You think divinity grants itself?"

  He pointed a finger at the upper corner of the parchment and then back at one of the numbers on the board. The number that looked like it was being raised by exactly three powers of a remarkably italicized infinity — OR, The Boy supposed, it could also have been an eight that was just leaned over very far to the right.

  "You can see here clearly that even adjusting for your augmented generation, we undershoot your critical recovery approach by —"

  "Stop, Borengirdle! Stop!" The Woman screeched, covering her ears. "You're making MY head hurt and it, at least, has some inkling of what your babbling about and a Hat to shelter it!" She huffed, and adjusted her hat.

  "It's about power, boy," she continued after a moment. "A lot of it. Your base rate of accumulation is too low for sustained recovery, even with minimal usage, and several ephemerality primes too low for the amount of power you've been optimized for."

  "... And sex... does all that?" He asked weakly.

  "Yes." The Woman said decisively at the same time as Borengirdle harrumphed and said. "Well, of course not!"

  They looked at each other with narrowed eyes.

  Then Borengirdle shuffled his feet, pursed lips and said sheepishly. "Alright, I suppose..."

  At the same time as The Woman rolled her eyes and huffed, "I guess it doesn't, at that," in a put-upon voice.

  They glared at each other again as The Boy stared.

  "What's the matter, boy?" The Bearded Man harrumphed after a moment. "The power to gift Divinities not to your liking?"

  "No! That's great!" The Boy hunched his shoulders. "It's just," he lowered his voice self-consciously. "What happens if the sex thing doesn't happen."

  They blinked.

  "Well, you'll starve, of course." The Woman said slowly as if she was speaking to an embarrassingly dense child. "It's actually a grave problem that we've already accounted for. Some men go years without having any," she gave a small cackle, "And without the ability to personally interact with your Anima, you won't even realize your Soul is turning to cheese before it becomes irreversible." She nodded with satisfaction. "So, we've added in a powerful compulsion property... you look like a tomato, boy are you quite alright?"

  The Boy squeaked.

  The looks the two were sending him as well as each other were becoming more frequent.

  "That's... not going to work." The Boy finally managed to get out through his swiftly constricting throat and very dry mouth. "I'm going to starve."

  "Well, of course not! The compulsion works both ways."

  "And they'll be forced to?" The Boy wailed.

  "... We are making you a weapon, boy, not a broomstick. You will have the power to levy enhanced forces from adoring masses with the only cost being compulsory intercourse which I assure you both sides will immensely enjoy... The craftsmanship...." The Woman glanced at Borengirdle again who was shrugging with his hands lifted in tangible bewilderment. "And... you are worried that they'll want to?"

  The Boy was shaking his head and quickly transformed it into a nod midway through. "It's wrong!" He squeaked. "To compel someone. To... You know...."

  The Woman blinked at him uncomprehendingly. "Morgana's spectacles," She muttered, rubbing at her eyes. "If you only knew what the Infernal Races are coming up with...."

  "I... suppose we can remove the weak compulsion capacity, if you want to... be forced to do it the hard way..." The Woman allowed.

  She traced some words in the air with her finger, and they glowed in place before zooming into a pouch on her hip. "There. Now we can move — why are you still shaking your head boy!?"

  She turned to Borengirdle, heat rising in her face. "Where exactly did you find this one? He is completely unsuit—"

  "You've seen his charts!" Borengirdle defended. "He has the Juice! He's perfect!"

  "Our definitions for that word differ!" The Woman said darkly. She turned on The Boy, scowling. "What is the matter?! Spit it out boy! Do you not know how?!"

  The Woman paused... then brightened considerably. "Of course! Not everyone has centuries to perfect technique."

  The Woman shoved Borengirdle out of the way with a wide grin, and hopped up to the wall length parchment, wiping it clean with a wave of her hand. "This is how it starts." She purred. And began drawing.

  People. Moving people. And....

  "Stop! Stop!" The Boy cried out, his cheeks in flames. "It has to be different! I don't want to starve! I need a different gift."

  "A... different gift?"

  "YES! Anything else!"

  "A... different gift?" They repeated again. For the first time, The Boy saw both hatted characters look equally and utterly flummoxed.

  "Any... Do you have any notion as to how much effort went in to building this?" The bearded man asked weakly.

  The Woman adjusted her hat primly, and sniffed. Then she pulled Borengirdle to one side and had an intense exchange with him that was only mostly out of earshot.

  "What about —"

  "— already bequeathed to —"

  "Now hear me out... trade for the girl of fire and gi—"

  "Time. If only we had..."

  The Boy watched them with wide eyes, his heart in his throat. He was already having second thoughts. 'What if they decide to not give me powers now. What if —'

  "Esmeralda is adamant about her selected. But if we switch.... Give him — en give this one to —" Borengirdle was nodding grudgingly. "— No Sex."

  They both looked at him for a moment then went back to whispering.

  'I'll beg for it back.' The Boy thought sorrowfully. 'I was probably too quick. I can probably figure —'

  "—cided then." Borengirdle harrumphed. They returned, looking The Boy over archly.

  It was Borengirdle who spoke. "We have a... secondary option. I warn you, however. It is rather experimental, but..."

  "I'm good! I'm ok with experimenting!" The Boy exclaimed hurriedly. "Science! Right?"

  Both hatted figures looked like they'd each bitten into particularly sour lemons without any sugar.

  They eyed each other....

  "Yes. Precisely like science." The woman struck The Boy with a wide smile that did not come close to reaching her eyes. "You'll be multiplying 'M' by two 'C's and calling it 'E' in no time."

  It was very dark out when Jimmy emerged from his room. He'd missed dinner, and he'd snapped at his mother when she'd come up.

  He hesitated outside Kaykes' door.

  This was.... Jimmy breathed deeply. He could do this in the morning, he thought. 'It's late. She's probably asleep. This can totally wait....'

  The light was on underneath her door though, and when he listened Jimmy heard the click-clackety sound of a keyboard. 'Or, she must be really busy. Why else would she be working so late? I could— fudge.' He thought, and firmed his resolve.

  Jimmy knocked.

  "Come."

  Jimmy shuffled in feeling far more timid here than he usually did, and his sister looked flatly at him from where she'd spun around at her table.

  "Listen, Kaykes. I —" He shuffled in place in the doorway. "— I don't — I."

  "You can save the three part apology for later. What did she say?" Kaykes nodded at the phone clutched tightly in his right hand.

  His ears went red as he passed it to her, and he focused hard on the old spaceship' poster on her wall.

  [10:47 PM — VM] Hey, Guy. I was rereading our convo and I think I was being a bit of a bitch. I said a lot of things here that I think aren't really true. I dont understand this thing wit the cards. I get that its more than just a thing you can do, you know? I still don't understand why it forced to write tht thing about rosette

  [10:48 PM — VM] I believe you now but its reallyweird! I guess it freaked me out you know? I thought i was just some grl you were playing around with while your chasing rosette and I dont think that now, but—

  "Mmmm. Good. Very good.... Mmmm...."

  Jimmy saw Kaykes start scrolling. He couldn't blame her. Vicky had written several large texts in a row. He'd of course read each one several times over in detail....

  "Oohhh... Here we go! Oh, yea!" She read these ones out loud. She didn't need to. Jimmy practically had the texts memorized. But she did it anyway, chortling.

  "So yea. I'm really sorry guy. I really like you. I had a lot of fun. And you were funny and hot and smart. I'm super stoked to go on that next date. I didn't really block you. I was just super pissed."

  "Please text me back!"

  "Aaaannnnnddddd," Kaykes swiped up several times just to be sure. "You didn't. Perfect."

  "I didn't know what to..."

  "I would wait a few hours, tomorrow afternoon at the latest. But if you're up for it, super early morning texts have a lot of their own intrigue...." She made to hand the phone back to him and blinked at the color spreading from his ears to the rest of his face.

  She looked back at the phone. Then back to Jimmy's face.

  "... Ok, backup, Bro. You literally wore a mask to your own date. How 'hot' could you really be?"

  That really didn't help anything. So after shuffling under the weight of his sister's judgement for a full eternity, Jimmy gestured vaguely with The Guys Phone For Illicit Dealings. "So... I uh. What do I say?"

  "What would you normally say?"

  Jimmy told her.

  "Yea. Say that. That's perfect."

  "...."

  Kaykes took pity on him. She leaned back in her seat and rubbed at her eyes. "Dude. Jimmy," She sighed. "I love you, but... Gah! Ok. here's the deal." She leaned forward, grimacing at him. "I read all the texts you sent. You were really sweet. And if you were texting someone equally sweet and understanding... like Mico —"

  "Can we not use my friends as viable—"

  "—or Patricia —"

  "Patricia's understanding??"

  "— or any of the girls I could be hooking you up with, that totally would have worked. But you're not trying to date one of them. You're after Cheer Captain Vicky M, and she dates boys like Buck Higly. So, you're going to have to man up a bit, bro. Because, that girl barely looks at the Jimmys."

  "I'm a Jimmy!"

  Kaykes eyed him pityingly and pointed to the phone Jimmy was holding in his slack grip.

  "Pretty sure she read all of that folding and consideration and logic as tacit apathy or manipulation —"

  "What?!"

  "—robably both at the same time."

  He spluttered.

  "You think this is their first break up? It's practically seasonal. That's how they fight. Only difference is, this time you're in the picture."

  "You mean the deal?"

  Kaykes threw a pencil at him. "No silly! You! You're The Guy. And The Guy went toe to toe with her monster ex, and laid him out in his own house."

  "It wasn't... that straightforward."

  "Her imagination may be a bit wilder than yours."

  "So... She's only down to date me because I knocked out Buck?"

  "I mean... it was a deal, right?"

  "...."

  Kaykes rolled her eyes. "Ok. No. Listen. Things tend to be more nuanced than that. She obviously liked you on that date. She probably actually sees you as funny, hot" — Kaykes smirked. Jimmy squirmed — "and smart. Would she be thinking that if she was sitting across from someone who hadn't just owned her ex? Who knows?" Kaykes shrugged. "People like what they like."

  "But she actually seemed interested in Bayes!"

  "And you don't think the probability of her interest might have been boosted by the one doing the sharing?"

  "...."

  "Listen, dude. She knows you're a nerd. She just also knows that you're a badass. And this girl has never met one of those who talks like —"

  "But I'm not!"

  "Urgh!" Kaykes facepalmed. "How are you so dense and be acing Mrs. M's notoriously hard physics class?! She must be losing her touch. Dude!"

  Kaykes sat up and fixed him with a flat stare.

  "You know that movie you guys are going to watch tomorrow? That Super who makes friends with the Go Team captain? His power is shooting compressed air from his hands hard enough to knock over a tank. He turns out to be a villain by the way. Compressed air. Do you know how dense compressed air is, Jimmy? Hint, it's still a gas! You can pitch a boulder the size of a small house. Let me see." Kaykes tapped rapidly on her phone.

  "... Did you just give away the plot?"

  "You've read the books."

  Kaykes kept tapping, eyed him critically up and down and showed him her screen. "Average person can pitch a baseball at fifty-ish miles an hour. That's almost as fast as cars drive on the freeway. You want me to do the math on how much heat you can pack with a multi-ton rock?"

  "There'd be more to it than that. Just shooting compressed air isn't very realistic."

  Kaykes shot him a look that said very plainly that he wasn't realistic.

  "Point is, bro, your not just anything. You're The Guy. Jimmy Wallace. The. Super. Human. And the ground trembles when you walk. This girl knows it. Hell, The feds know it. I know it. You're the only one who doesn't know it."

  Kaykes rolled her eyes and then rubbed at them with her fingers, as if rolling them so often had finally strained her eye muscles. She raised her eyebrow at him.

  "Dude. Of course that 'Magic and beautiful might' text freaked her out. She actually believes that her competition's a Super who answered all the local amber alerts in a single night. And Vicky M isn't used to being second string to anyone."

  "So just write exactly what you think you should." Kaykes said waving her hand. "Now that your passed the dumb hurting each other part, you can get back to the making things better part. Apologize for being a dick, tell her how much you like her, probably throw in a comp—"

  "I literally can't."

  "You don't like her?"

  "No! That's not —"

  "Ah." Kaykes grinned. "The apology part. Cuz you're not a lying liar who lies."

  Jimmy looked away, coloring. "Listen, Kaykes. I'm really sorry. I didn't..." He gritted his teeth, and tried to force passed the pulling sensations. "I don't actually..."

  He stopped when he felt her arms wrap around his waist.

  "You do," Kaykes's said, her face buried in his chest. "Actually think all that. That I lie. That I'm flippant and don't care about anyone. That I'm brilliant and that everything is easy.... You aren't wrong, bro. I lie a lot, and I see a lot of carrots around me." She stabbed him in the stomach with her finger. "Just, you're not one of them."

  "You could have explained before..."

  "I am never going to explain everything I do." Kaykes huffed.

  Jimmy glared.

  "... I probably could have made an exception in this case...."

  "I'm sorry for yelling and... saying all of that." Jimmy finally managed to force through his teeth.

  Kaykes nodded solemnly into his chest.

  "I'm sorry for solving everything so dramatically."

  Jimmy nodded with equal solemnity. She probably couldn't see, but he got the sense that she received the message from the squeeze she gave him before she let go.

  "Hungry? Your stomach was rumbling."

  "I may have missed dinner."

  "There are leftovers. If we are quiet we can try to catch more of that magic, and we can talk about that other thing too."

  That sounded good to Jimmy, though, as he explained in hushed tones on the way down their dark stairwell, he hadn't actually managed any more magic catching since that first time. And he had several fire novas in his pocket to prove he'd tried.

  "Well, if it was easy I bet it would happen all the time. It's probably some dumb mindset thing if I know my fantasy tropes."

  "I did think fire was a bit stra—"

  And, as they passed the dark living room on the way to the kitchen, Jimmy was noticed.

  made a good point in the last chapter's comments that Jimmy appears to curse like a sailor and that that seems pretty out of character for Jimmy. I agree. It is. So I actually played around with this over the last week and a few things jumped out at me. One, Jimmys no cursing problem isn't really a no cursing problem. It just looks like it. Two, the rule is binary, so there are things he can't say, and others he can, while curses tend to have... lets call them emphasis levels (so not binary). For instance, 'damn' is pretty minor, 'hell' is even more minor, and an f-bomb is... not. Three, we talk reflexively, not consciously.

  with the reflex to add an emphasizer, I'd emphasize more often. Also, I'd land on favorites that just tend to roll of the tongue more, and use them more often than others.