Eh… My head hurts…
Wait… WHERE IS MY HEAD?
Where are my hands??
Who am I??
Alright… I’m starting to remember now…
Oh right, that stupid die decided to be prejudiced against me because of my superiority and rolled itself on a one.
But what’s done is done. I won’t hold all dice responsible for the actions of one bad die. I’m forgiving like that.
So… Judging from the blue boxes which I assume to be the System, I am a bacteria, and my name is N/A?
How rude. My real name is… uh…
Hold on…
Oh yes, definitely. I would just love to have my name be something stupid and nonsensical. Good job system.
After several minutes of bashing my nonexistent head against the nonexistent wall, I decided to move on. I mean, what is a name, really? I’m still the same guy. A bacteria by any other name would still suck. Well, at least now I know that the system doesn’t understand sarcasm.
Enough joking around, I think God said I can use this system to check my... Stats!
...Nothing appeared.
How about... Status!
Ha. That’s funny. REAL FUNNY! I get a -100 in Luck?? Fitting though. Also, what is this title?
You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.
I sort of clicked on it? I mean, I know I didn’t really click on it, but I sort of clicked on it in my mind.
...
Moving on.
I mentally click (from now on, I'll just say 'click' because I don't want to have to justify my actions every time I select something from stats) on 'Willpower'.
This??? This is what had God give me infinite potential? This useless stat? Oh cool, I get to survive, at MOST 20 more seconds. Not only that, but my WP regen is only 2 WP an hour? Why even add in that I am unable to regenerate willpower in combat if the willpower I regen out of combat is almost negligible?
Although the way I got it was pretty stupid, at least having nerves is pretty useful. I guess this means I have to experience pain again? Ugh... But at least I can experience my mom's hugs... If I ever see her again...
...Ok, I am getting nowhere just feeling pity for myself. If I ever want to find Jessica and my family again, I need to stop doing stupid things, evolve into something other than a bacteria, and gain abilities. Time to start moving. Hold up, now that I have received a nervous system, does that mean I can move on my own now, instead of me just following the gradient?
Well, apparently I am a special kind of bacteria, since I flex my arm, and it moves! Maybe I can use this arm to help propel me in substitution for legs!
And God said that bacteria don't have arms, HA! He clearly hasn't met THIS bacteria! By the way, what even IS a bacteria?
I click on the 'Bacteria' panel.
Oh... A flagellum... I guess I'm not a special type of bacteria... I'm just a plain, regular bacteria...
...
...
Oh, no wonder no one is trying to cheer me up and tell me I'm special. I'm not even visible. Not only that, but there is no one around me. Not only that, but even if there were people around me, I don't have a mouth to complain. This life of solitude is going to take some time getting used to...
...Wait what?
WAIT WHAT????
