Time was passing month after month. I kept working on the boat as a fisherman. On my days off, I kept seeing Sakharkarkhan. I could spend hours hanging out with him, simply talking.
He taught me more about his kind. Mermaids were far from monsters. They simply had a different life. They had their own customs, traditions, and celebrations. They had their own ways of raising children and interacting with each other. I attempted to learn their language, but my human vocal cords were unable to produce the required sounds. People had so many wrong assumptions about these creatures, and I was finally learning to distinguish truth from tales. Sakharkarkhan was always very patient and kind to me. Any questions I had were never too much. I could ask him about anything: their culture, life, biology, even sex. It seemed there was nothing I could say that would deter him, and the same was true for me. He asked about life on the surface, about people and what they could be like. He asked about legs and how they worked. I felt so stupid sometimes because I didn’t know the answer. On the days I was free, I started going to the library. Searching for answers in books or on the internet, just to write them down and tell Han about them later. My awkwardness amused him. When I struggled to read out loud, twisting my tongue on complicated words, he would giggle. Every time, he would cover his mouth with his palm and turn away to hide his reaction, but I noticed. I always thought it embarrassing: my poor education and slow thought process, my inability to read fast or out loud. Yet when he laughed at my stumbles, it didn’t hurt. His sweet giggle would always make me smile. He never wanted to hurt me with his emotions, and I knew it. Maybe that’s why I started to love myself more, because someone found those shortcomings of mine adorable. With time, I got better. I could remember more and read a tiny bit faster. I stumbled over my words less. However, sometimes I would do it on purpose, just to see that beautiful smile. We would have a complicated discussion, and I would stutter on a simple word. Then he would laugh slightly, facing away. I would do it again and again until he gave up trying to hold it in.
We would sit closer to each other, feeling more and more secure each time. We learned not to shy away from touch. Sometimes we could spend hours exploring differences in our biology. I learned so much about mermaids’ tails, scales, claws, and teeth. I had never feared them on him anyway, but finding out more about their use and structure alleviated any kind of mystery. The same with human anatomy. I learned so much by trying to educate Han: how gravity worked, why our bodies were the way they were, how humans evolved into what we are now. It was so fascinating. I still remember that day we lay down on the beach under warm sunlight, and I kept asking questions about his tail as I explored every scale on it with one finger. Then, another time, it was me who allowed him to examine my body. We never talked about having sex or kissing again. The blandness and innocence of those inquiries still impress me.
I kept thinking about him in that way, though. Almost every night after seeing him, I would recall his image in my mind. His slim, sharp face. Big, wondering eyes with long eyelashes. His lips that looked so tasty. How his silky skin felt under my touch, and how wholehearted our conversations were. I always couldn’t wait to see him again.
Then one time on the job, as we were perusing the ocean in search of a good spot, I heard my colleagues discussing something in the water. I came closer to the side of the ship only to see a familiar silhouette swimming by us. As Sakharkarkhan noticed me on the boat, he jumped out of the water, flying past me. I remember my jaw dropping in awe while my co-workers panicked. They tried to grab me and pull me away from the board, but I wouldn’t move. I wanted to keep watching Han. Only when my colleagues started yelling about shooting him did I finally say something. It took a while to convince them to leave the mermaid alone. I had to scream as loud as I could to warn Han to run away before they took out the harpoon. Next time at the beach, we laughed about it.
The more we spoke, the better Han’s language became. When we first spoke properly in December, he had a curious pattern of speech. It seemed slightly off. Now, after discussing various topics for longer periods, he started speaking more clearly, more confidently. I taught him some new words, even showed him how to read a little. We developed together. Learned from each other.
Spring came around. As the weather was getting warmer, I began going into the water more often. At first, we would sit in the waves, talking our usual stuff. Then he would swim alongside me as I was getting back to a slightly forgotten exercise. Then one day I dived underwater to him. I felt Han’s hands take mine. He swam, holding and pulling me after himself. Carefully and slowly, so as not to hurt me. With time, I remembered how to hold my breath for longer, and we could swim in tandem again. He would hold me in an embrace, like on that fateful evening, pulling me with him on underwater journeys. I bought a mask to wear so I could see in the salty ocean water. He laughed at me the first time I brought it because, in his words, I looked funny with it on. Yet he was respectful. Han would never knock it off me or obstruct my view. He would remember that I needed to breathe more often than I did. It felt so nice to be together, and one day our relationship took a new turn.
It was another warm day. The sun hid behind the clouds, but the absence of wind made the temperature rise anyway. The ocean was calm, keeping its waves to a minimum. I came to our beach at our usual time, already wearing swim shorts, ready to get in the water as soon as possible. My backpack with spare clothes and shoes landed on the sand and was left unsupervised again. I ran into the ocean without waiting for Sakharkarkhan. I was glad to be in the water once more. The peace it brought me after the roughest days, the serenity and clarity of mind it provided, washing all of my worries away. I loved the ocean, and now there were only more reasons for that. Han joined me just a couple of minutes later. As he stayed a bit further from me, I understood he wanted to talk. We went to the shore. I walked out to the sand, sitting right on the edge of the waterline. Han sat next to me.
“I assumed you wanted to talk,” I said with a questioning tone, squeezing water out of my hair.
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“Yeah…” Han’s tone seemed nervous. “There is something I’ve been meaning to ask you for a while now but never knew how to do it.”
I noticed his body was tense. His gills were rising and falling rapidly with his anxious breathing. I couldn’t imagine what he wanted to ask me that would make him react like this.
“Do you remember our first conversation? About mating and stuff like that?” Sakharkarkhan inquired.
“Yeah, I do. What about it?”
“Do you remember I said that… some mermaids prefer the same gender?”
“Yeah…”
I was as clueless as only fools can be. Dumb as a rock.
“I remember you said that you, too… are… like that,” the hesitation in his trembling voice made me concerned.
Han wasn’t looking me in the eyes. He wouldn’t even face me. He simply stared into the nothingness in the distance, avoiding any eye contact.
“What I wanted to ask… or rather… say…” the pauses in his speech drove me insane. “I… I wanted to know if you felt anything for me.”
When he finally spat it out, I exhaled with relief. I feared it would be some bad news, while all this time he was scared of rejection. If only he knew I would never reject him.
I had been falling for him since the day we met, keeping his image in my mind like a secret desire. The more we met, the more I learned about him, the more similarities I saw between us… The yearning for him was taking root deeper and deeper in my soul. I was in love. So much time spent exploring each other and the world around us, I always forgot there could be even more.
I chuckled. It alerted Han. He finally gazed upon me with apprehension. I looked at the ocean with a soft smile. I could feel his anxious stare, filled with fear and early disappointment. I turned to him. I thought about how lovely he was. Then I leaned towards him abruptly, planting a short kiss on his cheek. I didn’t move, staying centimetres away from his face. Shock in his eyes. Han held up his hand, touching his own cheek where I kissed him. Now it was he who was too stunned to speak. I wasn’t sure how he’d react, but I decided to risk it. I gently took him by his chin and pulled him closer, kissing him on the lips. I closed my eyes as I did it, worried he would push me away, yet he didn’t. I kissed him lovingly, slowly, savouring that moment. When our lips parted and I opened my eyes, I could see a smile I longed for. It seemed Sakharkarkhan still couldn’t believe it was real. His breathing – fast, in short breaths, excitement and surprise on his face, a smile mixed with chuckles. He ran his hand through his hair, moving slightly away from me. Then he fell on his back into the sand, staring at the sky. I giggled.
“You are so cute,” I said, staring at him fondly.
“Does that mean… you like me?”
“Actually,” I leaned on my elbow to be next to him, “I think I love you.”
Sakharkarkhan met my eyes. He reached for my face, caressing my cheek tenderly. Then he pulled me gently towards him and kissed me. His salty lips were as soft as I remembered. I could finally let it all go. All the desire and passion I had accumulated inside me found its outlet. I climbed over Han’s tail, getting above him. We kissed more. I wanted to touch his body but hesitated to be the one to do it first. Then, in between kisses, he stopped and asked:
“Do you want to go for a swim?”
I agreed eagerly. As we went underwater and I felt his hands wrap around me, I forgot about everything. Lost in the moment, I concentrated on his touch. Han’s careful and delicate hands slid across my chest, stomach, and hips. I held on to his waist, feeling his back under my palms. As he left pleasant sensations around my body, I was ready to go. When he reached the region between my legs, I couldn’t hold the air in anymore. I moaned, releasing bubbles into the water. Immediately, Han brought me to the surface. I refused to take a moment to breathe, going right back to him after inhaling some oxygen. I wrapped my hands around his neck, now facing him. I travelled a little lower down his body and to his chest. He started swimming again, but when I kissed his nipple, he almost stopped in his tracks. A screech left his lips. He craved this pleasant sensation as much as I did. He rushed to the shore. I could feel the flow of the water around us become stronger. When we reached the sand, I couldn’t wait to please him. Han reached down into my shorts, undoing the laces and pulling them down. I was so excited to be with him like this again. I was ready to go, and he was ready to receive. I watched him open up for me. I acted slowly. As I went in, he breathed with satisfaction. I felt his body respond to my movements. The warmth and wetness. We kissed. I didn’t want to hurt him, so I was careful. Maybe a little too careful.
“Faster,” I heard a whisper in my ear.
I obliged. It was so hard to keep it in, to let him orgasm first, but I managed. As he arched his back, with a shriek leaving his lips, I felt his insides tighten around me. It was only getting more lubricated. I bit my lower lip, trying to hold on. Han exhaled abruptly, falling back on the sand. I stopped moving. He looked at me, reached for my face, pulling me closer, and whispered in my ear again:
“You can finish.”
I started moving again. I could see the satisfaction this sensation brought to my partner. I wished I could continue for longer. I came inside him, erupting with a soft moan through my pressed-together lips. Like a wave, pressure left my body. I softened, holding myself over Han on my hands, sitting on his tail again. We both breathed heavily. My vision was blurry, head was spinning. I got lower on my elbows, almost lying on Han. I could hear his fast heartbeat in his chest. This feeling of sweet relief. The passion we shared with each other. It was like that first time all over again, but now no one was there to chase us away. I pulled out of him, putting my swim shorts back on. Then I fell on the sand beside him, still hazy after the action.
“It felt so… good…” Sakharkarkhan said softly, almost mumbling his words.
“I… can’t speak…” I couldn’t breathe properly either.
We lay there, being caressed by the gentle waves of the ocean. Staring at the sky and melting under the hot temperatures, like ice cream.
After that day, our conversations didn’t change much. We still spoke of our lives and work, of our families and friends, but now we greeted each other with kisses and had occasional sex on the beach. We explored each other’s bodies with a new perspective, finding new ways to bring each other pleasure. Our dives got more intimate as well. I forgot how it felt to be desired and loved. I locked out that part of me for so long that reigniting that fire seemed overwhelming. Han was as patient as always, letting me submerge myself in him at my own pace. After our feelings blossomed into a beautiful union, I thought my life could never be better. I had a job I immensely enjoyed that provided me with a steady living, I had friends and family who shared their time with me, and now I had romantic love. I found it in the weirdest of places, from someone I had never thought would be in my life in the first place, yet it made me so delighted. I felt fulfilled. I felt truly satisfied. Happy. Just happy…

