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Dismantled Men, Interlude: Alex

  Alex watched through the glass as the man dropped his bag of pretzels. From where he stood on the sidewalk, the moment stuttered—paper slipping from clumsy fingers, a startled hitch in the man’s chest, that half-step backward like his body had been yanked on an invisible line.

  Inside, beneath the hum of fluorescent lights and stale air, everything looked ordinary. A clerk. A narrow aisle. A man in a jacket standing at the counter, paying with cash. There was nothing remarkable about any of it. But the man’s reaction did not match the stimulus. His shoulders tightened. His eyes jumped—not to the clerk, not to the register, but past them. Toward the window. Toward Alex.

  Recognition pulsed through him before he understood why. He felt his own feet stop on the cracked sidewalk. Felt his jaw set. Somewhere deep in his skull, behind his thoughts, something shifted.

  The man moved first. Too fast for coincidence. He pivoted away from the counter, pretzels forgotten, and disappeared down the narrow hall toward the back.

  He was running. The scene minimized to a small window in his mind and played back, filtering out the environment; enhancing and enlarging the images.

  Alex didn’t always know which impulses were his and which belonged to whatever lived in the blank spaces that hadn’t used to be blank. Some days, he felt like a passenger; other days, an actor reading lines someone else had written. Tonight, the distinction blurred completely.

  A pressure rose behind his eyes—a narrowing, a focusing, as data slipped into place too quickly to be called thought. Height. Weight. Gait. Heart rate—elevated. Breathing—shallow. Perspiration rising along the back of the neck. Flight pattern: desperate, unplanned, but rooted in old habits. Something inside him tasted that pattern and called it familiar.

  He stood there, framed by the glass, as the convenience store door sighed shut behind him. And then, somewhere in the machinery of his mind, a file opened. Positive Identity: Eric Ducks.

  The name appeared without context, like a caption attached to a blurry photograph. Images followed—out of order, underlit: a lab coat, fingers stained with ink and reagent, a sharp profile bent over a table bathed in cold light. Words drifted up from another lifetime.

  “Tissue response is within tolerance. Death is a threshold, not a conclusion.”

  The voice in the memory belonged to the man who had just fled. Alex’s chest tightened.

  His body wanted to move. He felt his weight shift forward, muscles in his legs tightening in preparation for pursuit. Then another impulse hit him from the opposite direction, a blunt interior impact he did not control. Go.

  He didn’t hear the word out loud. It was colder than language, more absolute. A directive etched into bone and steel. His right foot began to rise.

  “No,” he whispered, though his lips barely moved. The sound was as much thought as voice. “No. Not yet.” For one strange, hanging moment, the world held.

  A car rolled past behind him, headlights raking the storefront. The clerk inside stooped to grab the dropped pretzels and set them on the counter, oblivious. Somewhere down the block, a dog barked. The air smelled like old snow and gasoline and the stale oil from the fryers in the diner next door. Alex’s body froze.

  He stood perfectly still, a statue in a borrowed coat. The urge to follow strained against him like a tether.

  Then the stillness cracked. His right foot came down. He took a step and the rest of him followed.

  He turned away from the glass and began walking, not because he chose to, but because something inside him had made the decision already. His strides were measured, unhurried, his boots almost silent against the grit of the pavement. The fluorescent glow of the store faded at his back.

  The man who had been Eric Ducks was out there in the dark, heart pounding, lungs burning, running with no plan. Alex followed him with a plan that wasn’t his.

  He had never learned how to be this quiet. When he’d been alive—properly alive, with a single mind and one heartbeat that belonged to him—Alex had been loud. Not in his voice, though he wasn’t shy about speaking, but in the way he moved through space. Doors knew when he came through them. Floors complained. Chairs scraped. His presence announced itself before he did. Now, his feet ate distance without a sound.

  He rounded the corner at the end of the block and paused, letting his head tilt slightly, like he was listening to something beyond the audible. The street ahead sloped downward toward the older warehouses and long-since-abandoned light industrial strip that Mick and men like him used like a row of cheap shirts—wear one until it smelled wrong, then grab another.

  Footsteps. Not his own. Left side, one block ahead. Speed inconsistent. A stumbling cadence—panic, fatigue, or both.

  He turned left. His body adjusted its path with mechanical certainty, absorbing gravel and uneven sidewalk without the small compensations human reflex required. His knees didn’t protest; his ankles did not warn him when he hit a pothole hidden in shadow, but his reflexes adjusted on the fly.

  Alex focused on the sound of the other man’s steps and tried to put a buffer between himself and the impulses that were guiding him.

  Eric Ducks, he thought, testing the name. It fit the man in his memory; fit the tone of that cool, arrogant voice explaining why someone else’s son looked better with wires running through him. The thought stirred something bitter in his chest.

  “You made me,” he whispered, to no one. That phrase, at least, felt like his.

  Another pulse of instruction tightened his muscles. Faster now. Close the distance. Do not lose line of scent. He inhaled without meaning to, pulling air deep.

  Beneath the city’s muddled smells, he picked up the man’s trail: sweat, cheap detergent, old paper, the faint chemical tang of certain lab solvents you couldn’t quite ever scrub out of your skin once you’d worked with them long enough, and fear.

  Alex had never known he could smell like that. It disturbed him how much of the world he had been missing before.

  “Stop,” he tried, directing the plea inward, toward the cold center he could never quite locate. “Just… stop. We don’t have to do this.”

  The answer wasn’t words. It was a tightening of focus. A narrowing of variables.

  Distance: Reducing. Target heart rate: Rising. Risk if left alive: Unacceptable. Request: Overridden.

  He wasn’t supposed to see numbers like that. He knew what numbers were; he’d scraped by them in school, counted them in paychecks, lost them in debts. But this was different. They weren’t abstractions on paper—they were sensations in his body. His legs sped up again.

  Eric cut across a vacant lot, his shoes slicing through old snow and frozen dirt. Alex watched him from behind the thin veil of night, tracking the erratic zig-zag of a man who knew he was being hunted but couldn’t quite believe it. Not yet.

  He identified the path. Basement on Maple. Back alley behind the cold storage plant. The narrow brick building with the half-collapsed roof—Historical data, city surveys, and deeds flooding Alex’s mind.

  These were old routes, old shelters, Alex rationalized. The man was falling back on a pattern carved years ago, when he’d been running from different ghosts.

  The part of Alex that remembered being a Marine understood that rut. Under pressure, people went where they’d gone before. Soldiers reverted to training. Men reverted to habit.

  At the corner of 12th and Garland, he watched Eric hesitate at the mouth of a familiar alley. The man’s shoulders sagged. He looked smaller at that distance, stripped of the cool arrogance Alex remembered from a life he hadn’t asked to keep. Then Eric slipped into the alley.

  Stolen story; please report.

  Alex didn’t have to think about turning. His body followed. The alley stank of old beer and garbage. A cat hissed and flashed away deeper into the shadows. A light flickered and died on a back porch overhead.

  Eric moved quickly, cutting through the maze of back passages toward the storage facility beyond. Alex saw the choice before Eric made it—a transfer of old logic to current fear.

  He’s headed to the lockups, Alex formulated.

  The storage yard loomed ahead, a dark grid of corrugated metal and chain-link fencing under the weak wash of security lights. A camera watched the entry gate with bored indifference. Alex slipped past under its blind spot without needing to look up; his body simply knew the angle.

  Ahead, one of the interior walkways blinked on as a motion sensor picked up Eric’s movement. The light was poor and jaundiced, but enough to draw the eye. Alex followed, letting the darkness cling to him as long as it wanted.

  His right hand twitched as he walked between the rows. The fingers flexed, shook, flexed again. It wasn’t cold. The shaking came from a deeper place.

  He pressed his palm against the cool metal of a door as he passed and felt the world narrow down to sensation. The metal’s temperature. The faint vibration of something humming inside him. The way his bones didn’t quite line up with his memories anymore.

  On the other side of one of these doors, the man who had once been Eric Ducks was trying to make himself small.

  The urge came again, sharp and absolute. End it. Alex’s throat closed.

  He found the right unit without counting. His feet stopped in front of a door halfway down the row, right hand drifting up to trace the edges of the lock. He could hear the man inside now—not words, but breaths. Ragged, too fast. A muffled curse. A scrape, like something heavy being dragged against concrete to brace against the door.

  Eric was barricading himself in. Alex knew what that felt like. He’d tried to brace doors before, in other countries, under other threats. In the end, barriers always gave way when the force applied against them was greater than what held them up.

  Another part of him, the piece that remembered lying in sand with hot metal buried in his chest and the taste of his own blood flooding his mouth, understood that sometimes—no matter how hard you braced—it didn’t matter.

  He placed his palm flat against the door. Inside, Eric went quiet. For a moment, both of them just breathed—one in the dark, one in the wash of a flickering security light. Two men on opposite sides of a piece of thin metal and years of bad choices.

  “Don’t,” Alex whispered, to the side of the door. He wasn’t sure which of them he was talking to. “He’s scared. He ran. He’s not hurting anyone now.”

  The cold insistence in his body sharpened. Loose ends are unacceptable. Close it. His fingers curled. The metal beneath his hand groaned, protesting.

  “No,” he said again, louder this time. The sound came out wrong, a little warped, like his vocal cords had forgotten how to carry only one voice. He pressed his forehead against the door and shut his eyes, feeling the thin barrier resonate with his pulse. “He made me. He made me. You owe him—”

  Pain lanced through his skull—white, electric, obliterating his sentence.

  His right arm pulled back. He felt his muscles coil, shoulder tightening, tendons drawing taut with more force than he’d ever had when he’d been merely human. Or just human.

  Then his fist hit the door. The impact roared through the quiet corridor. Metal buckled inward like foil. Somewhere inside the unit, Eric screamed.

  The sound tore at something in Alex that the pain hadn’t reached. For half a heartbeat, he staggered, overwhelmed by the horror of it. He saw flashes of other doors, other rooms—an embassy hallway, walls painted with dust and shrapnel. Young faces turned toward him in fear and trust. The sudden hot blossom of light and force. The sense of falling. The knowledge that this was it. Then waking up cold. Always back to waking up cold.

  His second blow ripped the lock clean out. The door folded inward, slamming against whatever Eric had dragged in front of it. The obstruction skidded aside under the force. The overhead light inside the unit snapped on.

  Stacks of boxes. A sleeping roll. Shelves lined with mismatched binders and crates. A metal folding chair, half-crushed. And in the far corner, pressed as tight as he could manage between the wall and a stack of plastic storage totes, Eric Ducks.

  He looked nothing like the crisp, cocky man Alex remembered from images and videos from the lab. This Eric was older, thinner, haunted in ways even time couldn’t account for. His hair was messier, his face hollowed. But the eyes were the same—sharp and assessing even as fear swallowed them.

  When those eyes met Alex’s, a flicker of recognition passed there. Not of the man in front of him—Alex doubted Eric saw anything but a nightmare—but of the shape of his own history closing in.

  “No,” Eric said, voice breaking. “Please—no—”

  Alex stepped inside. His foot crunched down on scattered pages. Some of the ink blurred beneath his boot—formulas, sketches. Pieces of the man’s mind rendered in cheap ballpoint and standard paper, trampled in the space where he’d tried to hide.

  “Stop,” Alex said, but his body didn’t. He took another step forward, hand reaching out. His fingers shook. “I didn’t ask for this. You hear me? I didn’t ask—”

  His voice glitched, catching mid-syllable. A jerk ran through him, a marionette’s stutter when a puppeteer’s hand slipped back into the crossbars.

  Kill.

  The impulse was no longer a suggestion. It was a command woven through every nerve. Alex felt his face twist—not in anger, but in resistance. Eric saw only the contortion and recoiled further, knuckles scraping against concrete as he tried to push himself through the wall.

  “I was supposed to die,” Alex forced out, the words rough and strangled. “You… you should have let me…”

  Eric shook his head, whether in denial or lack of understanding, Alex couldn’t tell.

  “I don’t—please—please, I’ll go, I won’t—” His voice dissolved into sobs. “I won’t tell anyone. I don’t know anything. I don’t know who sent you—”

  You.

  The word lodged in Alex’s chest like shrapnel.

  Who sent him? Had anyone? Or had he been built into this, from the moment hands had laid him on that cold table and someone had said his name like it was a question they were answering for him? All of that might have mattered, if he had been alone in his head. But he wasn’t.

  Something inside him seized control of his arm. His hand closed around Eric’s wrist.

  The man cried out at the pressure, choking on his own breath. Alex tried to loosen his grip, to open his fingers, to relax anything—but nothing obeyed him.

  He could feel everything. The fragile bones under his palm. The tendons flexing in panic. The warmth of another human life leaching into his skin. And then his fingers tightened.

  The first snap was small. The ones that followed were not. Eric screamed. Alex screamed with him, but only one of their voices existed out loud.

  Time lost meaning during what came next. Later, Alex would remember fragments in disjointed flashes: Eric’s arm twisting at an angle it was never meant to achieve. The wet sound of joints coming apart. The way blood looked too dark under the storage unit’s bare bulb. Boxes tumbling. Paper drifting like dirty snow.

  The weight of a body that refused to stop moving for far too long.

  He experienced each of those moments from two points at once: inside his own skull, drowning in helpless horror, and somewhere deeper where everything was numbers and trajectories and efficiency. The efficient part of him made sure the work was thorough.

  The human part of him watched the light leave Eric Ducks’ eyes and understood—with sickening clarity—that the man had died calling out to something that wasn’t allowed to answer.

  When it finally ended, the unit was a wreck. Silence settled slowly, like dust. The bulb hummed overhead. Eric’s remains lay scattered in ways that would make no sense to the first responding officers. That, too, would be efficient. Confusion slowed investigations. Confusion made space for other things to arrive first.

  Alex stood in the middle of it, chest heaving though he wasn’t out of breath. He looked down at his hands. They were slick. Red. Trembling.

  Those were his hands. The same ones that had pulled comrades behind cover, had gripped a rifle, had signed enlistment papers. The same fingers that had brushed sand from his lashes when he’d thought he was dying. Now they were tools.

  He felt an impulse to wipe them on his shirt, to rid himself of the sensation—but another instruction cut across that reflex.

  Hide.

  He moved without knowing how he decided where to go first. Some part of him—the cold part—began organizing the scene: which pieces to move, where to place them, how to drag what was left into the shadowed recess behind a line of boxes. His boots left smears on the concrete. His muscles didn’t tire.

  He worked for several minutes, rearranging horror into something that would read as chaos instead of intention. All the while, the human part of him whispered one long, wordless apology.

  When he stepped back at last and surveyed the unit, a different sense replaced his revulsion. Not satisfaction—that would have required ownership. This was something else.

  Job complete.

  He hated that the thought fit. Outside the unit, the corridor lamp buzzed once and flickered. Somewhere beyond the fence, a distant siren wailed. The city moved on, oblivious.

  Alex turned and walked out, careful not to step in anything that would leave more than a faint, ambiguous trace. He slid the twisted door as close to shut as it would come.

  As he left the storage yard, the air hit his face again—cold, thin, biting. He realized he was shaking all over now. Not from effort. From knowing, with a clarity that cut to the core, that whatever he had been once had no say here anymore.

  On the street, he paused. Behind him, in a metal box that smelled of blood and old paper, lay the shredded remains of the man who had turned him into this. The man who had once walked him through a corridor of drawers and called it progress.

  Alex swallowed against a throat that felt too tight to be made of anything but bone. “He died because of you,” he told himself. “And because of them. And because you weren’t strong enough to stop it.”

  The answer rose within him—that same cold insistence, uninterested in debates about blame.

  One target down.

  There were others. A flicker of images crossed his inner eye—faces, names he didn’t consciously know. People connected to leaks, to formulas, to past work. Loose ends.

  His stomach rolled. “No more,” he said, under his breath. It sounded small in the open air. “No more.”

  His feet were already moving. Down the block. Toward the car he’d been given. Toward the next directive.

  Alex walked into the night. Behind him, the storage unit hummed with quiet, irrevocable ruin. Inside him, a man who had once wanted nothing more than to die folded in on himself and waited for the next chance to try and fail to be human.

  He didn’t know that sometime tomorrow, strangers would find what he had left behind and call it evil. He only knew that he agreed with them.

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