“Alright, The Map…uh, is that where your pillar is stored? The exact center of the building? Didn’t you know that’s where the concentration of Stars is highest? Trying to commit suicide?”

  Jesyll gurgled with mirth, “Can you hold a conversation without asking questions? Ah, how rhetorical of me, buddy; You cannot. In any case, you have this super great hero of the Order to thank for the following info: We won’t be running into a single one of those light thieves today! Why? I told ya, I’m just that good! I should ask for another statue, now I think about it…”

  “Ooh Jes! Do you think I’d be carved too? Afterwards I mean, when we manage to accomplish the missi-“ Ellery attempted to interrupt the conversation only to get cut off itself.

  “Wow~ A statue! I think I’ve seen one of you, Master Jesyll! The one that wraps you in suckers if you stay around it too long! Felt slimy..” No intuition needed to know who this was.

  “Slimy?! I’m practically a prized ideal of my species! Impossible I’d be aught but smooth.”

  Faiz’ patience, which he previously considered limitless, finally had an end, “Shut up!

  That sure got all three menaces to shut up look at him, and for good reason too! If his flesh hadn’t already been of a darker shade, he’d have appeared red as prayer-steles to them.

  His pacing grew more paced, his breaths laboured, as he clutched his head, “nitwits starts blathering on about another nonsensical issue, I’ll…!”

  He had to cut off his speech in the first third itself, since even that little bit had caused Keite to break down in tears. A sinking frustration crept over him; What a blessing that one of his only assistants in this probably lethally dangerous heist cried out rivers every time someone at him.

  No Faiz, you shouldn’t start despairing Faiz, not yet. And ignore how often you’ve had to reassure yourself in the past few days, heroes always win out with dumb luck even if everything goes sideways…

  “Okay…” He didn’t give the three of them a moment to retaliate before he launched into explaining his (most definitely destined to fail) own idea.

  “Psst-are you sure we should be up here pal?”

  Faiz startled and nearly dropped cover as he hissed back, “Shut it, won’t you? That dissonant pealing of yours will give us away…and yes, we need to wait for the fluff and that flop to put all the guards away.”

  “Aw, I wanted to show off my awesome-” Ellery stopped midway through what was probably going to be another inane statement. The sentries that patrolled the halls all had preternatural senses-which Ellery had apparently found out about first hand, before deflecting with whatever ‘natural incontrovertibility’ meant.

  Faiz withdrew his fist and resumed looking down. Mighty convenient, that Ragan eyesore of a light, necessitating a big pane of Art clarified alloys smack dab above the main chamber. Even better that he’d sent Keite out touring, for he knew there was no congregation addressing planned for the next few hours. All that was left to handle were the ever watchful rock-formed defenders of the Central hall. Now, hoping that the two of the hadn’t bungled step one…

  There! A flicker of light and a wriggle, and all the patrolling Stonesoul wardens ground to a screeching halt. That animating spirit, bound within their lithic forms, it sure proved vulnerable to an amplified appliance of the so called Sleepytime Art…

  “Merely thinking of the name of this unfairly powerful ability made Faiz want to curl up into a ball, but he resisted the ever present sensation of embarrassment and instead focused inward, trying (mostly successfully) to tune out his chatterbox of a companion, and willing a change of scenery

  And they were in! Now that the easy part was over, all they had left to do was the hard work! …Certainly not a winning quip that one, no.

  The chamber in any case was cast utterly in light, though mercifully dimmed by a thoughtfully placed gigantic pane of dull-glass, in front of which were situated circles and circles of grey and white all neat and orderly, the deactivated guards knocking over a few of them. Not a very ostentatious lot, this council, and even their supposed leaders didn’t seem to have any finery or ornamentation on their central plinths. Then again, it would be hard to see any gaudiness, given how hard it was to see in general with that light illuminating everything.

  “Y’know buddy, maybe being a bit lighter on that force would be nice? You almost cleaved this poor little body of mine with that snap and flash!” Ellery creaked and shuddered, the purple-silvered corpus changing into a shape more well suited for hauling around large pillars brimming with energy. The so called measure of all Ragans economy was placed right in front of the pane of glass, and Faiz could barely make out that eye searingly reflective metal figure start doing something.

  He didn’t have the time to stand around and gaze at the scenery any longer, busy as he was pasting crudely drawn-on paper seals upon the unwavering barriers of the chamber gates. An opening made, apparently. “Explode.”

  “What? Are these broken? Oh curse it all, that fiendish sack of rubber…you didn’t botch this did you?!”

  This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.

  “Kiddo? Where’s backup? You aren’t gonna rely on your good pal Ellery for everything right? I demand extra pay! And real pay, not those inedible tokens of work, hmph! Oh no! I just realized you’re poor! I’ll go hungry, methinks…”

  Faiz shot the straining scrapskin a withering glare before turning back to his work, “I’ll show you rich, you-! Oh come on you useless scraps of waste, Explodeexplodeexplode

  “Buddy! Yikes, you um…run for it!” Hearing the panic in its voice, Faiz opened his eyes again, only to be greeted by the sight of all those seals he’d lain aglow with teal, a colour that was swiftly growing in intensity, overtaking even that opalescent beam of light…

  “Oh.” Faiz dropped any and every thought except running, scuttling back with truly shocking speeds as he remembered a past ‘incident’ disconcertingly similar to this. He’d made it halfway across the room when he finally turned his head again. “Oh, they’re dimming again? Well, that’s not so bad. You scared me for no reason, tin-“

  BOOM

  “-can.”

  As if to spite him, it’d taken those hues only an instant to shine back into blinding territory, and then they exploded and how! Faiz counted himself lucky he’d legged it, otherwise he was sure he’d be completing the rest of this heist in seven separate pieces.

  “Hoho! What did I say, smaller kid? When Jes gets to work, what daren’t work? Even if my annoyingly sarcastic aides are talentless compared to the humble (and gracious!) me, a gentle tactic never-“ Again that smarmy warble, from the other side of the smoke and grit.

  Faiz was incensed, “Gentle?! You blew up half this building, you idiot! What happened to my instructions to ‘be stealthy’? Even that rainbow hole in existence must’ve woken from the dead by this racket!”

  “Wow, you sure got a foul mouth, brat. Has that lackey of mine been rubbing off on you? Besides, it worked! We’re all in!” Jesyll had by now crawled into view, two of their tendrils carrying Keite along like a shimmering cloud, “You shouldn’t shout either if you want sneaky, little prince. Hey, big chap, how goes the thievery?”

  They unceremoniously dumped the dazed boy into Faiz’ arms, rolling forward to inspect the uprooting of the monolith of accounts. Keite seemed fully out of his good senses (admittedly, he wasn’t missing much) as he crooned, “His fuzzy head lolled this way and that way, mesmerized.

  "Oh for-you,come here..” Faiz dragged the smaller boy in the opposite direction, away from that eye searing beam of light blazing from behind the arrayed-and mostly blown apart-seating areas. He’d planned for this eventuality luckily, and so again wrapped the antennae in cloth, shaking Keite, “Hey, we need you! Up, come on! Stop daydreaming!”

  “” The fluffy boy jerked up, almost bashing Faiz in the nose as he flailed momentarily before catching sight of him, “Oh friend Faiz~ What happened, are we…there already?”

  “No. Now, please don’t look back alright? Keep a watch here, tell me if anyone comes by or you see reinforcements.” Faiz rushed through the instructions, hurriedly positioning a wide-eyed Keite in front of the demolished walls and rushing back to inspect the progress.

  “Buddy! Glad you’re back-urk! Mind helping your pal Ellery with this? It’s really heavy, I’m warping!” Ellery was carrying-stumbling and wobbling, more accurately-that inscribed monument on its back, its shape quadrupedal as it marched to Jesyll’s commands.

  “Ignore it, kid! Almost done anyways.”

  “Never mind that! Where is that gate we need to get to? Close by you said, and then stole off with the maps!” Faiz was nearly at his wits end, growing more and more venomous, enraged to be reduced to relying on such tardy accomplices.

  Jesyll flourished smugly with their tentacles, gesturing down, “You didn’t think they’d build this massive eyesore of a councillery just to hold meetings debating water taxes, did you? The gate is…right below us! You should thank me for having already rid us of the usual travellers, friend!”

  “Councillery isn't a real word, and never mind that; How are we getting down there to it, precisely?”

  Jesyll wordlessly produced another bushel of seals from within their robes.

  Faiz started trembling. “Jesyll. Jesyll, .”

  “Shouldn't have annoyed me, kid! Jesyll…yes

  One massive explosion later, Faiz was gritting his teeth and glaring entire armories worth of blades at the preening Jesyll as Ellery stabilized the pillar next to the gate. It didn’t really look like a gate, more akin to a circle cut cleanly in the air that kept vibrating and letting off mist, the center a confusing mishmash of vistas. If this was some entrance chamber, it certainly didn’t look the part anymore, trashed by the falling debris. If the gateroom hadn't been so close below, Faiz would probably have broken both legs jumping down with the other two.

  He endeavoured to ignore the tubespawn as best he could, when he saw little Keite flutter down the hole, “Emergency! There's-Oh, how’d this sinkhole get here? Good thing I can fly~.” The three watched in silence as he glacially glided down, like a descending heavenly: all purity and zero punctuality.

  Faiz at last opened his mouth when Keite finally landed in front of him exhausted, “Keite. You were…saying something?”

  “Oh yes~ I saw a whole lot of super scary looking shiny people and stone people coming up fast, friend! I was coming to warn you! They were all carrying super heavy looking X's on their backs too!”

  “The Excisers, out to ground us to paste. Well smaller kid, you sure would be a mighty fine informant, telling us this when your dear masters are nearly to be caught. Not that it matters, we’re about ready to leave I think! Hah, let these light thieves fret their pretty little heads off for all we care. Get over here.” Jesyll burbled with amusement as they sidled up besides the circle gate.

  Ellery shifted back into a humanoid shape and pantomimed panting, “Whew! I did it! You owe me a bunch of favours, Jes! I want a statue and a hot springs and-“

  “Tell me all about it once we’re back, pal. Fluffball, ready to go?”

  “Yes, Master Jesyll! I think I can start converting that energy over now!”

  The tubespawn turned towards Faiz, gesturing, “Well? Get over here kid! You aren’t expecting hospitality here any longer, are you?”

  Faiz…simply stared.

  He’d been waiting for this moment for a while, and to think these marvellous actors still weren’t letting up this ‘touching’ and heroic play…he was positively …

  “I will, Jesyll. Right after you answer one little question of mine.” His voice was laced with grim mirth, the sort of emotion felt only when one finally walked a road they’d long feared and despaired trotting upon, and when the inevitable came, the only path left was...forward.

  Jesyll slowly perked up to their full height, tentacles readying. Funny that, how something he'd grown accustomed to seeing from someone he thought he knew...could look so very intimidating now. All their sense limbs trained upon Faiz, as he stared back with dimming eyes, and the moment seemed to stretch nearly to infinity. Then it broke, and they drooped again, sighing in a quiet rustle, “You really are a clever little boy, Faiz. You’ve probably known for a while, haven’t you?”

  Faiz had in fact known, though he wouldn’t have thought it’d be such an emotional moment. Seeing Ellery start nervously shifting in anticipation, watching Keite start shuddering as he drew himself in…Faiz really felt like laughing. Or crying. Maybe both. He settled for a smile that wasn’t a smile. Hearing the resignation in their voice only crystallized his thoughts.

  “I have. So, Jesyll, out of curiosity…” His gaze hardened as he drew in a breath, prepared for what came next,“…mind telling me why you want me dead?