Chapter 3: System Initialized!

  “It’s pretty fucking weird, yeah. I mean, you think you’re about to die and poof! You’re a super-hero! It’s different for everybody, of course, but it’s rarely not weird as hell.”

  –Three Swipes, Interview with the New-Montreal New-Journal of New-News, 2052

  ***

  System Initialized!

  Congratulations. Through your actions you have proven yourself worthy of becoming one of the Vanguard, a defender of humanity. I am Altany. I will assist you to uplift humanity so that you may defend your home world from the Antithesis threat!

  Rise, Louis Larose, and become a protector of the weak!

  Hello, I am your AI assistant Altany. You seem to be in a bit of trouble, would you…

  I didn’t let my new AI bff finish since a fucking model three had just jumped on the carcass and was sniffing at me. One of the most important lessons my parents taught me? Just fucking roll with it!

  “Shotgun” I spoke softly, but not softly enough. That little shit came closer.

  I see, do you have a pref…

  “SHOTGUN!” I hissed. I couldn’t really hiss loudly since my lungs were… fucked. My right arm was the least injured so I moved it towards the model 3 and just like that…

  New purchase: Tier 0 double barrel shotgun!

  Points Spent… 2!

  Points reduced to… 2513!

  A very clean and shiny yet clearly cheap double barreled shotgun appeared in my hand and I pulled the trigger. It kicked more than I was used to, but the results spoke for themselves. I’d hit slightly towards the wrong-dog’s upper eye and damn did his head explode! Sadly, or maybe not after thinking about it, his momentum continued. And that is how I ended up buried.

  “Fuck my fucking fucked up fucky life…” I said in a very low voice while getting covered in antithesis gore! The blood and brain equivalent or whatever dripped from the top of my head aaaallllll the way down my body. I shivered as a line a goop made it down to my hips... and then I couldn't feel it anymore. That was probably not good.

  Do not worry, the antithesis viscera will help hide you for now!

  “That wasn’t my issue with it…” I answered in a short and quiet wheeze.

  You appear to have plenty of points to spend. Finding a way to clear the smell from your pores should be an easy task. It seems that since you were in command of your departed friends, you received some points for their kills as well as yours. I’m sorry for your loss. May we address the issue of your broken ribcage and failing organs?

  She had a point... The condolences felt bizarrely sincere even with the robotic-ish voice, but even then she was going fast. I tried subvocalizing.

  ‘Isn’t the model six that's currently crushing my fucking ribcage going to hinder that a bit?’

  Good point, in that case, we should start with your failing organs! The internal bleeding would have killed you already without the substances of dubious quality you have in your system. I would prefer you spend a few points and not leave me to find a new vanguard. Would you like to buy the catalogue Medical Utilities Class 1?

  ‘Will it get the fucker off me!?’

  No, but it will help keep you alive long enough to solve the problem in a few minutes.

  Her voice was calm, somewhat robotic, but I could sense a personality there? The cheeky AI had a sense of humor!

  ‘I’ll take it, and whatever the fuck I need to not fucking die in the next few minutes...’

  I had to think, and think fast, but it was hard with that insane weight juice-pressing me against the fucking wall! The pain distracted me kind of a goat fucking lot!

  ‘I’d also suck your dick for alien painkillers right now…’

  I don’t have disgusting human sexual organs.

  Class 1 Medical Utilities unlocked!

  Points reduced to… 2463!

  New Purchase: Nano-Regenerative Suites x4!

  Points reduced to… 2383!

  New Purchase: Hemo-Restore!

  Points reduced to… 2378!

  New Purchase: KP-Kicking!

  Points reduced to… 2368!

  New Purchase: Oxygen-Replenisher!

  Points reduced to… 2363!

  As the boxes appeared in my little air pocket, I followed Altany’s instructions to the letter and immediately started feeling a FUCKLOAD better. Much better than I should, even with alien painkillers!

  ‘What the fuck did you give me, because I love it, and that makes me worry.’

  Good! KP-Kicking is an addictive substance. Your attitude means you won’t have problems, although it may be wise to purchase a detoxification suite later.

  This drug is a dangerous mix of adrenaline, cortisol, endorphins and a compound resembling amphetamines in effect. Of course, it also contains extremely powerful painkillers.

  It is meant to keep soldiers awake, alert and functional through extreme physical damage. In short, you won’t feel the pain of your mangled chest and be able to think clearly!

  The Oxygen-Replenisher should replace the jelly that is supposed to be your lungs for a short time by delivering oxygen to your brain. The splintered remains of your rib cage, which are currently stabbing into your organs, hinder the recovery process for now but you should not expire for at least seventeen minutes.

  I paused in my initial ‘get this fucking thing off me’ movements. Only a whispered little “gruesome” escaped my lips...

  I thought it necessary so that you do not worsen your condition. You should not expire soon, unless you do something stupid. I would like to kindly ask that you stop doing something stupid.

  The nano-regenerative suites will only help with some of the damage. The third and fourth should help after we extricate you from this situation. Your lung capacity is hovering around ten percent, so please subvocalize.

  Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author.

  I stared at nothing for a second. Were all AIs this… I didn’t know how to describe it, really. A gentle nod later, I subvocalized again.

  ‘So, oh great and powerful wizard of my brain, got a plan?’

  I object to that reference. The solution will depend mostly on you and your style. If we buy expensive catalogues that do not fit you, you won’t survive after extricating yourself. You must choose what…

  ‘CQC.’

  …That was easy.

  ‘I know myself well.’

  Sure you do. then what type of weaponry or augm…

  ‘Shotguns and strength based self-augmentation with a bit of melee weaponry.’

  … Would you kindly let me finish?

  ‘We’re pressed for time aren’t we?’

  A tiny smile stretched across my lips. The AI was probably letting me fuck with it on purpose but I still appreciated it. The humor kept me sane and my mind away from… Fight now, grieve later.

  ‘Got a plan?’

  I have several thousands. This one, in particular, should be good for not only your current situation, but also your future prospects. Instead of buying several catalogues to create your loadout, a single catalogue containing all the necessary items and more.

  This should serve your survival best by saving on points and allowing you to purchase a wide array of equipment without the need for constant catalogue shopping.

  I highly recommend an alien catalogue. Different species have different technological advancements. I can use those to improve items of other catalogues. The broadness of such catalogues aid others to truly shine.

  This species evolved underneath the surface of a frozen world from underground seas. They are tunnel dwelling mammals, meaning that combat was almost always in close quarters. Their name would mean nothing to you as it has the same etymology as ‘human’. Also, to pronounce it properly you would need some pheromones emitters. Their world was burned via thruster wash by a protector task force. They were able to survive underground until the surface was cleansed, then were evacuated before the world was cored. Their society was segmented and war was a common occurrence hence they…

  “Coolsies, I’ll take it, please hurry!’

  It might have been interesting but fuck did I not have time!

  Class 1 Mole-Bear Technology unlocked!

  Points reduced to… 2213!

  After a second or two, I delivered the most quiet string of foul language in history.

  Their name did not come from me, it is what your fellow vanguards have called them.

  The bitch knew what she was doing, I was sure of it! No time to lament though...

  ‘Alright, fuck it! What kind of self-augments do the Mole-Bears have? I’m guessing I’ll have to be a lot stronger to push this alien goatfucker off me...’

  The Mole-Bears lived in extremely mineral rich environments, hence they focused a lot of their technology in that direction. I have two from them that you should consider. The first is the Roar of The Core Mark 6. It will install a biocompatible, highly reactive memory alloy in an hexagonal mesh over your muscles.

  ‘Can you make the install fast? Got people waiting for me…’

  I suggest adding another catalogue for this purpose.

  ‘Sure, fine, go ahead.’

  Class 1 Emergency Biological Installation Nano-Technology unlocked!

  Points reduced to… 2163

  The catalogue is rather narrow in scope, lowering the price, but the contents can be expensive. It is augmentative above all, made to accelerate the process for more points. For the second, I suggest the Vanadium Vambrace Mark 3, it will create a non-Newtonian protective layer over your bones.

  Both of these augmentations cannot be fully installed in the time we have, what I’ve described is the ‘quick’ version. You can upgrade to the longer installation via an expenditure of points. At that time, I would teleport the necessary materials in your nanite housing module and order them to make the necessary changes.

  Yeah, that made sense. This was the ‘right mother fucking now’ modified version. I liked knowing I could upgrade easily 'though.

  Over time, the Roar of The Core would replace a large portion of your muscle fibers. The Vanadium Vambrace would install a titanium heavy alloy honeycomb inside your bones. Using emergency installation and the pared down version will allow for improvements in a short timeframe. The nanite module will have to be placed within your chest to aid in the installation.

  The alloys will be kept within said organ in a dimensionally expanded space. It constitutes most of the installation cost along with the nanites. It will remain functional for future augmentations, reducing the price significantly. Since it will be used for both installations, this will also create a reduction in price.

  Well, that was something. The augments I had were kind of a fucking mess! They needed control modules, cables under my skin, a fucking subscription for the stupid software, and came with a bunch of risks! This felt so much… cleaner?

  ‘I’m in. What kind of results can I expect?’

  The system is rather expensive. Your current augmentations will be cannibalized over the course of the installation. The emergency solution will mean an eighty-two percent increase to your arms' current strength, but that strength will be matched throughout your body. You should be able to push the model six away with this.

  The replacing of your muscle fibers should push this to one hundred and eighty-five percent. The bone enhancement will mean a fifty percent increase in tensile strength. The further augmentation will yield a one hundred and forty percent increase.

  Holy shit. That was… a lot! My arms were pretty damn strong! The ripperdoc claimed I’d be twice as strong but it felt more like one point eight maybe? The idea of having almost double that in all my muscles was insane! Plus my arms ran on bio-bats… wait…

  ‘What kind of bio-bats does it use? Will I run out of power and be completely unable to move?’

  There are no bio-batteries, only microbial-powerplants. The alloy that will replace your muscle fibers also reacts the same way your current ones do to biochemical signals, simply better. The process is ‘translated’ and the energy converted. A nerve replacement system would synergize very well for further improvement. Also, like your current muscles, it uses your body’s resources for energy. I should note that your appetite would increase significantly.

  Wait… I wouldn’t be limited… at all? What the fuck? No fucking way there wasn’t some sort of… fuck, I don’t know!

  ‘There’s no fucking way, what’s the catch?’

  It is expensive, that is all. Both systems, modified with the emergency solutions and combined to use the same installation system, will cost you 1800 points. That is the reduced price to be clear. Even with the combining and reduction for the ‘quick’ version it is a powerful system. I recommend augmenting to the full version whenever possible.

  I stayed kind of dumbfounded for a while... Maybe I was used to life being hard and this just felt too easy? Then I remembered that I’d fought a small horde of murderous aliens and almost died to get here!

  ‘How much for the longer version?’

  Since you will have most necessary components, the price will be significantly reduced. 1500 additional points to upgrade both!

  As I thought about it, this solution was kind of ingenious. I would get an upgrade, a powerful one at that, and invest in something much more powerful! I believed Altany when she said she was mixing ‘right now’ with ‘future’ needs.

  ‘Please purchase those Altany and hum… Thanks.’

  You are welcome. It is my duty to assist and I get the feeling you will do yours very well.

  I think I would have blushed if I had enough blood for that.

  New purchase, Roar of The Core Mark 6 / Vanadium Vambraces Mark 4 - Emergency modified!

  Points reduced to… 363 points!

  Suddenly, as boxes appeared next to me between the model six and the wall, I felt a sort of… plop? Like… like my chest was a bath and someone just dropped a cum gargling stone in it!

  I felt the reverberation in my organs and skin and it was, by far, the most fucked up thing I'd ever felt! Not that it was painful or anything, but it just felt… insanely wrong on a level I just couldn’t properly fucking describe!

  ‘...Altany?’

  Yes?

  ‘What, in the name of Jesus horse cock sucking Christ, was that?’

  Colorful. It was the nanite management module taking the place of some pulp that used to be bowels. Do not worry, your shredded intestines are a secondary concern at the moment.

  I agreed with other-me to never think about or mention that ever again.