I pulled a 23mm shell from my rig. Closing my eyes, I listened to the mountain wind. My mind sank into the past once again; this time, Rain did not come to pull me out.

  Holger materialized in my vision. He did not speak or look at me; he just played the violin with his eyes closed. For every step I took toward him, he appeared two steps further away. All I could hear was the angry mountain wind. All I could feel was the cold brass.

  Havoc’s shrill scream broke the silence.

  “Molot, on me!”

  My eyes shot open. I tucked the autocannon round back into its pouch. Havoc was standing below her attack heli, flanked by Geiger and Carbide. Everyone dashed toward them, fully armed and armored. I followed suit.

  The company formed up, each of the four squads standing at attention. I took my place next to Rain; he didn't look at me. Glass did, then Geiger—their faces expressionless.

  The wind died. Silence.

  “Molot, at ease,” Havoc barked. “We will dig in along the canyon. We’ll ambush the first convoy unlucky enough to stand in our path. We secure fuel, then proceed to the main objective.”

  No one asked about the rules of engagement. She held a small map of the valley, two clicks directly below us.

  “Bugeyes, Semtex, Geiger.” A pause. “Aurora, Anti-Air, 30-mil. Overwatch.”

  They marched forward, saluted, slammed their feet into the snow, and took the map.

  “Carbide, Blood, Rain, Wire. Assault Squad 1.”

  We marched in lockstep; the map was in my hands.

  “HMG1, HMG2, Zyklon, and Needle. Sniper, Glass.”

  “Pilots, you’ll stay at the LZ and man the FPV drones. Ozone, keep the bird warm in case things get extra ugly.” She placed a palm on the attack heli behind her. “Maggots, who lost the bet yesterday?”

  A sick smile crawled across her face. Some giggled; others stayed silent. A male gene-warrior raised his hand.

  “Vapor, you man the 122mm mortar.”

  He smiled and raised his hands above his head as his mates threw snow at him. Laughter echoed. He passed cigarettes to the soldiers next to him.

  “I, and any grunt who did not hear their callsign, are Assault 2. Let’s buy our ticket back home!”

  “War!” we shouted in unison.

  I will survive. I will escape. I want…

  Everyone moved quickly to grab their assigned gear. Geiger’s eyes left me and fell on Glass; they kissed, and he tucked a letter into her rig. She did the same.

  “Don’t dig another grave just yet.” Rain violently yanked my sleeve. I just nodded and shadowed him as we walked toward the heli. Carbide and his mate, Wire, laughed. Rain tore open my rucksack and ripped the beret from my head.

  “Where the fuck is your shitcan?” He jabbed a shaking palm at my pack.

  “Pardon?”

  “Helmet! Goddammit! Helmet!” He overturned the rucksack, and its contents spilled onto the fuselage floor.

  I donned my full-face helmet. Rain shook out a smaller backpack and started shoving frags and 40mm HEAT rounds into my rig. He threw two boxes of 40-mil into the pack, filling the remaining space with ammo for the RPG-49. Then, he pressed the rocket launcher into my chest. He didn't pack any food; I grabbed a canteen of water myself.

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  “Leave this shit.” He pointed at the greatsword at my side.

  “Never.”

  “What the fuck did you say, Logi?” He closed the distance. Carbide and Wire stopped gearing up, their gazes falling on us.

  “Go on, Rain.” My eyes fell on his battle rifle. Carbide laughed and traced the marks carved into the haft of his sledgehammer. Rain’s jaw clenched. He ignored me and continued gearing up, though Carbide and Wire’s gazes lingered.

  The gene-warriors tasked with the descent formed up.

  “Molot!” Carbide shouted, holding his sledgehammer high.

  “Carnage!” they answered in one voice. Of our squad, only Glass repeated the chant.

  She was the first to the edge. She raised a gloved fist, and we all stopped. Glass scanned the valley below with her binoculars.

  “Clear,” she hissed. She saluted Geiger and started the descent alone. All she carried was her sniper rifle and a tiny pack. No one followed her down the steep slope; Carbide peeked over the edge and gave a thumbs-up. Havoc just watched her descent, nodding.

  Havoc led the way.

  We started hammering pitons into solid rock and secured our lines. We didn't take the direct path down; instead, we followed a ridge. The slope was nothing like the precipice Glass was descending, but we carried enough gear to fight a battalion and had no idea how stable the snow was.

  Rain was always within arm's reach; Carbide and Wire were further ahead.

  “Blood! Keep the pace!” Rain mumbled, not bothering to look back. My mind wandered without my command. I felt as if I were locked in that dark cell again—naked and alone.

  I don’t want to be alone again.

  I veered a step from the path. The snow collapsed underfoot.

  “RAIN!”

  In the blink of an eye, he grabbed my hand. We plunged. Instinctively, I wrapped myself around him.

  Fall. Snow.

  Pain shot through my chest like a knife. We hung by my line, bare white rock three hundred meters below.

  “F-fuck!”

  My helmet intercom blared Havoc’s shrill voice: “Blood, Rain, status!”

  Rain keyed his comms. “Requesting assistance.”

  “Copy.”

  Carbide, Wire, and I think Zyklon and Needle started pulling us up.

  “Are you gonna get me killed today?” Rain asked.

  The pain in my chest was bearable a second ago; now it wasn't. I said nothing, but my eyes spoke for me. Tears froze before they could shame me.

  “Blood. I asked you a question. Be real.” His voice was cold.

  “I don’t know, Rain. I’m doing my best!” I tried to whisper, but I whimpered instead.

  “Best at what!? At what!?”

  I wept. I was thankful the "demons" were too far away to see me like this. He sighed. Our ascent accelerated as more allies joined the effort. My worthless body stayed wrapped around his, shielding him from the jutting rocks jabbing at my back and arms. The least I can do.

  Five minutes of silence and pain followed. I gasped as I hit solid ground, Havoc’s boots an inch from my face. Pain erupted from my back.

  “How many missions, Blood?” Havoc asked. The frigid wind howled menacingly. “Your file is top secret,” she spat.

  “Fifteen,” Rain barked as he propped me onto my feet.

  “Is that so? Where were you deployed?”

  “Not on a mountain, Major,” I said, saluting.

  “Keep a closer eye on her,” she told Carbide. “Onward!” She threw a fist forward.

  It took twenty more minutes to reach the lowest part of the ridge; the path down the mountain face from there was easy to traverse. We exchanged no words. My mind didn't wander; I was too aware of the risk.

  We reached our combat positions: a natural defilade with a perfect overwatch of the narrow road twenty meters below and two hundred meters away. The other assault team was half a click away with an equal advantage.

  Wire and Rain started descending further. I took Rain’s arm without thinking.

  “Gonna set up some mines. Care to help?” He yanked his hand away and walked off. I ignored the irony in his voice and followed. Wire made a gesture I hadn't seen before to Carbide; he returned it with a smile.

  Carbide started digging a battlement for his KPV 14.5mm HMG.

  Rain slowed his descent, and Wire overtook us. Rain grabbed my arm. “Do you know how to set up a minefield?”

  I looked around; Carbide was watching. I tapped Morse code on Rain's arm: No.

  “Help Carbide prep our position.”

  “Copy.”

  I pulled out my binoculars and zoomed in on Assault Platoon 2. Two were prepping the minefield; Havoc was constructing the camouflage—a Kevlar blanket and a camo net propped up a few centimeters. That would proof it against thermal optics.

  I dashed to Carbide. He was still busy digging. My pack contained only ammo.

  “Commander, requesting permission to build thermal and optical concealment for our fighting position,” I said coldly.

  He shook his head, raising his eyebrows.

  “May I...?”

  “How many missions, rook?” He jammed the entrenching tool into the ground and locked eyes with me, a half-smile on his face.

  “Zero.”

  He laughed and put a dirty palm to his face. “You didn't fight like a civvie five hours ago.”

  “No, sir.”

  He rifled through his sack and produced a camo net, two blankets, tent poles, and wire. He threw them at my feet. “How long you been fighting?”

  He continued digging while I imitated Havoc’s moves to build the concealment.

  “Long enough,” I sighed.

  “You like it any?” He kept his eyes on me.

  “No.”

  “Then why keep existing... Blood?”

  “No idea, sir.”

  For Holger’s memory. For Rain. For… me.

  “That thingy is the only thing keepin’ you alive, you know that, aye?” He aimed his entrenching tool at my sword.

  “Let us finish our duel after exfil, Commander.”

  “Start acting like a soldier and we might get lucky.”

  I saluted. He returned it.