I finished two chapters beta reading Shapeless Poetry then started another coffee. As the aroma of fresh brew permeated the kitchen, I flicked open Discord wondering if anyone would be awake enough for an entertaining chat.

  #SpecialStreaksGeneral

  Lorca: I think my hair gel’s moldy

  RabbitGuano: extra firm hold

  Lorca: yeah, hair looks amazing, but it stinks like dog ass

  CoolBeans: my cat yacked a hairball so big I puked too

  Hallo: I coulda done without that

  HC: gotta go mow the lawn

  Ayela: there’s no lawn. admit it, you live in your grandma’s basement writing lesbian love stories and playing on discord

  HC: almost. you forgot the bunker

  CorkyCash: my neighbor has a bunker full of food

  LordTyrant: there’s your next hostile take over

  BeadBuddy: next?

  PageCount: Pressure Washers 7 is the best take-over game

  InnerFire: it’s like a cleansing for my brain

  StarStream: washes you out so good

  Buttle: I need a pressure washer for the bird poop

  IAmSoImportant: in your brain?

  GingerBollox: I mean, I’ve heard of shit for brains, but . . .

  B: might need a purge on that one

  CarlaCee: My brain is a great multitasker; it can forget several things at once

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  BalMichi: without my wife, I’d lose all memory of myself

  MacadamiasNonspecifically: is this how it goes?

  Exclamation: What goes?

  Apo Plex: I go?

  StacysLair: He went.

  CoraCee: Doggone.

  DysblurbicPedant: Long gone.

  CorkyCash: done gone.

  Buttle: Over.

  DickDaddy: Does anyone have lunch? I’m hungry.

  B: Working on that Food Teleportation code now.

  SoXOXO: Version two was a bust.

  BeadBuddy: Pineapple on pizza: yea or nay?

  Bartt: What’s pizza?

  IAmSoImportant: that one’s ready to defragg

  SoXOXO: he did that ten days ago

  BearyBeast: he gets a good one in every now and then

  smack_pans: Pineapple belongs on the grill or in my mouth, not on pizza

  InnerFire: I like a good pineapple leaf tea

  B: that one really needs a re-boot

  BalMichi: does HC really live in his grandma’s basement?

  Burning: Defs. He writes lesbian love stories, so the rest must be true

  Cady: the logic in this group is astounding

  MerFolk: I can’t argue with that

  MoodyBoots: no pineapple on pizza. ever.

  DickDaddy: sausage on pizza. always

  Buttle: I like a good deep dish from time to time

  DickDaddy: only in Chicago

  Buttle: agreed

  GingerBollox: what’s deep dish?

  CoolBeans: I knew British food was ass

  SpiritdeCacao: AAAAAAAAAAAAASS?

  B: uh oh, man down

  LordTyrant: medic, immediately

  Exclamation: I’M ASLEEP!

  SassySword: get that man a coffee!

  SoXOXO: better wipe him soon

  RabbitGuano: he’s just a loon

  Lorca: It’s what we all assume

  SpiritdeCacao: AAAAAAAAAASS?

  B: stuck in a loop, I see

  smack_pans: does anything make sense today?

  Bartt: does it ever?

  Ayela: only on Tuesday

  B: is she looping too?

  ArlenKnight: perhaps we all need a snack? Linked image of steaming enchiladas

  SassySwords: that phonk need be in my mouth now

  DickDaddy: not fair, I want that

  Hallo: that’s what you said last night

  ArlenKnight: ??

  RabbitGuano: ??????

  Cartoon J.: finally, something that makes sense

  StarStream: they said we all needed a rinse

  GingerBollox: I’d do it for a six pence

  BalMichi: I’m busy building a fence

  DickDaddy: I got pepperoni with extra garlic

  RabbitGuano: no vampires for you tonight

  GingerBollox: I’m watching Vampire Bait right now

  DysblurbicPedant: Do they sparkle on that show?

  Buttle: I like my whores to sparkle, not my vampires.

  Ayela: is this a video game reference?

  Bartt: someone put her out of our misery

  GingerBollox: you can’t expect much from the puny types

  Ayela: who you calling puny?

  IAmSoImportant: when the shoe fits

  BearyBeast: are we ganging up? is shit going down?

  B: going down and down

  GingerBollox: you ready to take a side?

  Woah. Okay.

  Whatever that was had to end because I needed to get to Nanna’s for breakfast. I closed Discord, not sad about saying goodbye to whatever weirdness had just happened, pulled on a sweater and sneakers, grabbed my sheet music, and was out the door.

  I had a new song to learn, didn’t I? So I could forget all about idiots who called me puny in chat when it made no sense.

  Right?