Chapter 16: Gravedigger

  Tara and I chat back and forth as we walk together to The Folded Corner. “Man that chick wouldn’t leave, you’d think she’d get the hint when we start putting chairs on the table and turning customers away that we might be closed.” I whine to her as I kick a pebble along with us.

  “Yeah, the worst part was when she tried to order another doughnut, like dy, it’s all put away. Get the hell out of my store.”

  Our chat quiets down a little as I focus more on making sure my pebble makes it safely to the curb, I brought it this far. I’m not going to lose it into a storm drain. Momma didn’t raise no quitter.

  For a moment I hesitate on our approach to the book store. I slow my steps but Tara slows hers to match mine. I throw her a gre that she returns fiercely. Her jaw clenches, a silent tell that she isn’t gonna let this go. Bitch.

  I reach out and pull open the gss door and hold it open for her. Cool air rushes out between us as she stares at me, unwilling to go first. She raises one stern finger and points into the store as if I were a dog waiting for a command. I listen and walk in before her. Not because she told me to, but because I wasn’t gonna wait all day.

  “I don’t want to ask her anymore, please don’t make me. We can just hang out in here and find some new books okay?”

  “Too damn bad, you told me not to let you back out. You dug this hole. Sleep in it.” She gives me a sharp shove that I assume is meant to be encouraging.

  The heels of my boots drag against the welcome mat and my fingers run along the length of cord tying my apron tight around my waist. Shit, why am I still wearing this thing? I scan the room for Casey, eyes bouncing from patron to clerk desk, to Brian at the coffee stand. I give him an inquisitive shrug, he gives me a negative shrug. I nod.

  “I don’t think Brian’s seen her in a bit.”

  “Oh I see her” Tara says in surprise

  My head whips to follow Tara’s line of sight only to nd on a barren corner of the store, only occupied by a tray cart and a broom.

  “Oh my god. It’s so much worse than I thought.” Tara teases, earning herself a swift elbow to the arm.

  I stomp my way deeper into the section holding the best sellers. A nice cozy beat pys on the overhead speaker as I meander through the various sections. Occasionally I nudge a book that sticks out just a little too far. The silence already starts to get on my nerves and we’ve only made it to the cook books.

  Casey’s high pitched excitement can be heard moments before a small high energy projectile- Casey -bashes into my side with a hug, sending warmth to my face and nerves to my hands. A hug in public. Just chill. Breathe. Nobody is watching you.

  “H-“ I shake my head, cutting off my own speech. I settle on just hugging her back for a quick second before returning my hands to my sides. Casey just looks up at me with those stupid blue eyes and stupid smile that I hate. The one that makes my heart race and my head feel fuzzy.

  “Brooke wants to ask you something, Case.” Tara says as she pushes my back, forcing me to take a step closer to Casey.

  I open my mouth to speak but no sound comes out. She grips my shoulder like she’s trying to crush a can and roughly yanks me toward her, and she whispers in my ear

  “ask her to hang out at your house, or I’m showing her the video.”

  “Casey, would you like to hang out at my house when you’re done with your shift?” I ask. At least I think I do. It’s difficult to tell with how loud my pulse is in my ears.

  “Wait, really? You want me to come over?” Casey’s grip on my sleeve tightens, she’s trying hard not to be too excited.

  “Yeah. You didn’t come by today for your coffee. I- I didn’t get to…” my voice trails off before Tara pokes my ribs “I didn’t get to see you today and I didn’t like that.”

  The silence grows thick between the three of us. Why did I say it like that. Casey takes a step back and puts her hands in her pocket, and nods a few times in rapid succession.

  “Yeah, I’ll come over and hang. I have a few things to finish here and then we can walk together if you want.”

  I nod while fighting for my life, trying my hardest not to smile. I watch Casey spin twice before bolting toward a half empty rack of books and start organizing. Tara sps my hand as I reach up to cover my mouth with my hand.

  “Remember that dream I told you about?”

  “This kissy one?” She says with an abundance of mirth.

  Heat flushes my cheeks “yeah, that one.” I walk over to the lounge section of the store and sit down, “my mom apparently heard me yelling for Casey in my sleep.”

  “That’s funny as hell- ooohh. Your moms gonna have some questions for you.” Her realization sounds far less mirthful than she was just a moment ago.

  I lean back into the plush lounge chair, it squeaks lightly with the shift in payload. Tara’s brow knits together while she watches me closely. I raise an eyebrow in silent question. She shakes her head in response before leaning back in her own chair.

  My fingers float along the skin of my left hand, searching for anything that stands out. Thoughts start to flood my mind.

  Mom will find out. She’s going to hate me. She knows already. She hates me now.

  Tara’s hands grip my wrists and she pulls my hands apart, pushing them against the arm rests of my lounge chair.

  “You’re picking, stop it. What’s going on in your head?”

  I shake my head and close my eyes. I focus on the sounds of whispering patrons, shuffling papers, the clicking of a computer mouse somewhere behind me.

  “She’s not like that… right?” Tara asks quietly.

  My shoulders rise in a half shrug.

  “Don’t know. She’s never outright said it.” I yank my hands from Tara’s grip and stuff them in my pockets “she’s never outright said it. But she gets a look on her face when anything like that comes up on the news or at church or whatever.”

  “What about your dad?” Tara picks at her own fingers and won’t look at me.

  Is it that bad of a topic to bring up around me? There’s a prickle that runs down my neck, as if my body is able to answer before my mind.

  “Dunno. He hasn’t seen me in a while. Doesn’t matter.”

  I push off the chair and stand up when I see Casey approaching us.

  “I either die or I don’t.” I mumble to Tara.

  “What’re we talkin about that’s got you two looking so serious?” Casey asks with a skip closer to us.

  “How bad that red lipstick looked on me yesterday.” I hate how easily I lie to her

  “Oh yeah, it wasn’t bad bad, bck just suits you better.”

  A flustered energy grows in the pit of my stomach, I do my best to ignore it by hugging Tara.

  “Bye friend, lemme know how your grandma is doing okay? Keep me updated. Please.”

  “I will, you two be safe. Text me ter, ya Brooke?” She says with a look that tells me she’s worried and a tone that says all is well.