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Chapter 5 – Big Fish, Small Pond

  Loud, drawn-out sigh.

  “The fox runs from turtle farms?” Bryan squinted at the page.

  That can’t be right...

  Tessa chuckles softly. “Ah, close. It’s ‘The fox runs from the farmer Turk.’”

  It's been a slow, grueling few weeks. I hate these stories so much.

  Tessa beams. “Next sentence - you’ve got this.”

  “The cow jumps over the….” Bryan says slowly

  Fuck it…

  “I think I’m done for today, thank you,” Bryan says sincerely.

  “Ah, well, if you’re sure, dear. You’ve been out hunting a lot lately.”

  She looks at Bryan with mild concern.

  Well yeah, these lessons ain’t free…

  “Mostly I’m glad you don’t come back as injured as you did the first time.” A smile comes across her face.

  “Thank you for your concern,” Bryan said with a smile.

  He gets up and makes his way out of the closet and downstairs.

  The tavern was busy with people eating, talking, and drinking.

  This place is oddly popular despite its décor.

  Bryan makes his way through to the doors and onto the street, heading to the guild.

  He pushes open the doors to a wall of sound, adventurers chatting loudly and eating.

  Really don’t get why people choose to eat here…

  He shrugs and continues to the board. He studies it and can make out most words.

  While he’s deciphering the board, he overhears some adventurers talking.

  “Ah, have you seen the new girl?”

  “The Nekari girl? The one training with Reorn every day?”

  Nekari, huh… no idea what that is.

  “I mean, I’ve seen her nearly trip over her own tail, but she is persistent.”

  Bryan, trying to focus on the quest board, scans a few requests. One catches his eye:

  “Duck hunting request: Please can someone kill the ducks that keep stealing the bread I leave on the windowsill.”

  You could just not leave it on a windowsill, surely?

  He looks through several more until he rests on the dungeon notice again.

  Well, I could test myself and see if I can go deeper this time.

  As he walks past the receptionist desk, he says to Milan on his way past:

  “Hey, think I’ll go to the dungeon again - be back later.”

  Bryan smiles as he walks away. Milan looks up, raises an eyebrow, and then carries on with her work.

  Such a social butterfly she is.

  He makes his way to the north gate, waving to the guard as he passes.

  A while later, he approaches the clearing where he found the dungeon. He stops and thinks a moment.

  It's been a while. Should check my status.

  He raises his palm flat forward. The screen flickers to life.

  Status

  ? Name: Bryan

  ? Level: 30

  ? Job: Elemental Trickster

  ? Skill Points: 258

  ? HP: 385??MP: 710

  ? STR: 35??AGI: 46??VIT: 27

  ? DEX: 42??INT: 63??CHR: 20

  ? LUCK: 15

  Skills:

  ? Your Regret

  ? Mana Channelling (5)

  ? Mana Shaping (5)

  ? Fire Bolt (4)

  ? Lightning Bolt (3)

  ? Water Bolt (3)

  ? Air Bolt (3)

  ? Blink (2)

  ? Evade (3)

  ? Piercing Strike (2)

  ? Blade Slash (3)

  ? Heavy Slash (2)

  ? Sweeping Slash (2)

  ? Item Appraisal (2)

  ? Torch Light (1)

  ? Subtle Manipulation (2)

  Don’t think I bothered to read the job description.

  He tapped the job name idly, and a brief description flickered beneath it.

  Elemental Trickster

  A rare hybrid job combining elemental casting with martial finesse.

  Emphasizes creativity, speed, and misdirection over raw force.

  Uncommon among adventurers. Often underestimated.

  Often underestimated… well, duh.

  Bryan activates his Torch Light spell. The light flickers to life above his shoulder and he makes his way into the dungeon.

  Making his way through the early levels, killing some wolves, goblins, and rats with ease.

  Hmm easy peasy.

  After finishing the puzzle again, he enters the ogre room.

  Inside - a large but roughly half-the-size ogre of the one he saw last time.

  Much smaller. That is weird… this one could fit through the door.

  Noticing him, it begins charging wildly with a deafening roar.

  Bryan runs toward the ogre confidently as it raises the large bone club.

  Evade - and Sweeping Slash at the leg. The ogre stumbles and kneels in pain.

  Goodbye…

  He uses this time to get behind the ogre and plunge his sword into its neck downward.

  It slumps to the ground, Bryan wiping his blade clean on its loincloth.

  Ok now let’s see how to get lower…

  He scouts the walls of the room looking for another door or walkway.

  Bryan finds a crevice just big enough for a person to fit down.

  Ok is it odd it's person-sized?... nope don’t overthink it.

  He squeezes through and into a wider hallway, making his way down some stairs.

  Bryan reaches the bottom and enters another large cavern, looking around - he sees something.

  A lot of something. A creature that looks kind of like a leech with long spindly legs and arms with claws.

  Oh god, what on earth is that thing?... oh wait this isn’t earth… I never asked what the planet is called…

  While he muses, the creature has already darted for him with both unnatural speed and a weird movement pattern.

  Bryan tries to lift his sword but it barrels into his stomach - he is forced to brace by grabbing it with his free arm.

  Shit… shit… Lightning Bolt.

  It shakes violently before collapsing, smoking. He quickly readies himself for the next one.

  Bryan decides to run forward and one dives from the darkness to his side.

  Oh these are quick and a bit smart. Evade.

  He jumps sideways, slashes mid-air, and avoids the hit by inches. His blade catches the creature, slicing it clean.

  Two more in front, running - legs flailing. They dive toward him.

  I got this… Fire Bolt.

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  A large blast of fire explodes in front of him, engulfing them and knocking him back.

  He coughs, struggling to breathe through the smoke.

  That was clever… don’t use a large fire in a cave, dumbass.

  After the smoke clears, through the crevice he came in, he can see the last creature waiting to pounce in the distance.

  He lifts his hand and concentrates - focusing his mana.

  Solid… compact… stone… bullet… launch…

  A small rock fires from his hand at intense speed, piercing through the creature.

  Rock Blast Unlocked

  It collapses in a heap on the ground as the rock hitting the wall echoes in the cave.

  Level Up

  Hot damn, best put a point in that.

  Bryan smiles and makes his way past, grimacing slightly at their still-smoking bodies and avoiding stepping on them.

  Making his way down further, he enters another corridor, but this one has an odd green glowing moss on the walls.

  Hmm not seen that before… cool.

  Bryan walks, checking around to avoid being surprised. He notices strange symbols painted roughly on the walls.

  Squinting, he can’t really make them out as he hears a mysterious squishing sound.

  Ok what is trying to jump me I wonder…

  He readies his sword and looks carefully while walking. The rhythmic squishing sound gets louder as he enters a large cavern.

  The sound appears to be coming from all around him. Bryan sees dark, small figures waddling around.

  Ok, ready to stab whatever this is.

  Suddenly he hears a very odd warbling sound, a little like “Cu Cu.”

  One of the shadows is attempting to run toward him, waddling its stubby limbs as it does.

  As it comes into the light, he sees it resembles a fleshy, slightly furry teddy bear-like creature.

  Oh god, what is that… retches.

  The creature runs as fast as it can. Once in range, he swings - it makes no attempt to avoid him, his blade cutting clean through its stomach.

  The creature does not stop - arms in the air, a smile on its face - it seems unfazed by the attack until it collapses.

  Its blood smells oddly sweet…

  This is very odd.

  He suddenly feels something grab a leg… then another.

  Bryan trips backwards trying to escape the grasp - he lands on his back with a thud.

  I did not come this far to die like this…

  More and more grab onto his limbs. Bryan braces for pain and a counterattack.

  After several awkward seconds, he looks around and sees… they’re not attacking him.

  Wait… are these fucking things hugging me…

  About a dozen of them on his arms, legs, and one waddling over to his head - he can see it closely.

  They have no claws or teeth, and only seem to repeat “Cu Cu.”

  It waddles over and sits on his chest and starts cuddling his face while humming.

  Ok, they are kinda cute in the right light, but… Blink.

  Bryan appears a few feet away, quickly getting to his feet and looking for an exit.

  Finding a hallway, he makes his way down it as quickly as he can.

  God, I don’t think they could’ve hurt me if they wanted to… I feel kind of bad hurting it.

  He lets out a light sigh as he walks. After a short while, he sees the corridor opening into another cavern.

  Focusing on his light, it dims a bit.

  Ok, I need to be a bit smarter. Anything could be in here.

  He crouches slowly, looking around the edge of the room. He hears a crunching sound, followed by drips onto stone.

  He readies his sword, trying to find the source.

  I’m ready for anything…

  Behind him, he hears a familiar squishing sound. Looking back, he sees two of the creatures waddling toward him.

  A large, black-fur-covered foot comes down - crushing one into the floor.

  The other is picked up by a large hand.

  It lifts it up - straight into the mouth of a large, bull-like creature.

  With a grotesque crunch, it chomps down.

  Oh holy fuck… that was not wholesome at all… Rock Blast.

  Bryan fires rock shots one after another. They hit and penetrate, but not deeply.

  The creature roars loudly, shaking the room. Standing up, it bears two giant axes - each as big as Bryan.

  As the minotaur charges, Bryan bolts the other way.

  Okay… three…

  Loud thuds close in behind him.

  Two…

  It lifts one massive axe overhead, shadow stretching.

  One…

  It swings down with its full might.

  Blink.

  Bryan appears behind its legs and sweeping slashes the back of its calf. The beast stumbles, tripping with a room-shaking roar.

  Close, but it worked.

  He fires off several Lightning Bolts. Sparks dance across its chest - but it rises anyway.

  Heavy, steam-like breath blasts from its nostrils as it turns and slams both axes down toward him.

  Evade.

  He dives, the twin blades slamming into the ground and carving trenches where he stood.

  The axes grind forward, dragging through stone toward him, tearing the ground to pieces.

  Oh, now that is some terrifying strength.

  Bryan sees one axe barreling his way. He thrusts both palms back.

  Air Bolt.

  The blast launches him forward. He hits the floor hard, tumbling and scrambling back to his feet.

  Okay. Need to be tactical. If that hits me, I’m dead.

  Taking a breath, he runs at the beast. One axe swings down diagonally - he leaps with everything he has. The second axe slices from the other side.

  Air Bolt.

  The burst of wind flings him higher, over the attack and toward its head.

  He catches a horn mid-air, swinging around to the back of its skull.

  Lightning Bolt…

  He channels it again. And again. The creature shrieks, flailing wildly.

  Eventually, it drops forward - face-first with a thunderous slam. Bryan hits the floor, skidding on his side.

  Ah fuck… now I’ve got little scratches all over.

  He groans and checks himself. No major injuries, just bruises and ripped clothing.

  Great. Another outfit torn to shit. No fantasy novel ever talks about how easily clothes get shredded.

  He turns toward the beast. It’s still. No rise, no breath.

  Yeah, I don’t trust that at all…

  He doesn’t hesitate. Lifting his sword, he drives it into the creature’s ear with both hands - deep, angled, and final.

  It spasms violently, then falls still for good.

  Ha. Thought you’d pull a horror movie comeback? Denied.

  Level Up

  Level Up

  Mana is coming back slow again…

  Bryan makes the shoulder light brighter again and searches the room for signs of a chest or loot.

  He finds another biological chest and eyes it up.

  I still don’t trust you…

  He carefully opens it. Inside: a steel sword and three red gems.

  He appraises them.

  Steel sword and better fire power… nice.

  The gems are all the same kind - moderate enchanting gems.

  Well, likely worth something I guess.

  He makes his way back to the Minotaur and examines its body, looking for what he should take as proof.

  Want the horn, but no way I’m cutting that off with a sword… the tail. Love my job.

  Making his way to the bottom of the beast, he swings and cuts the tail off with a few strikes.

  He then stumbles back, hunched over.

  He retches. Oh lord, why does everything shit itself after dying? So gross.

  Looking around, he notices the chest is gone again.

  Hmm…

  Bryan composes himself, collects parts from the leech creatures, and gets back to the bear room.

  He makes his way through as fast as he can.

  Yeah, not dealing with any of that again.

  He collects parts from each monster on the way out, checking his mana now and then.

  Bryan approaches the exit, takes a deep breath of fresh air.

  Really don’t get why mana regen was so slow again…

  He makes his way back toward the guild.

  Inside, he walks straight to Milan - but she’s busy with another adventurer.

  Dammit. I do not miss queuing…

  After waiting a while, she’s free. He places the bag on the counter.

  Milan looks through the items.

  “Impressive haul this time. Did you go deeper?” she asks, voice flat as ever.

  “Yes, I did indeed,” Bryan says with a smile.

  Now she’ll appreciate me.

  “And you brought a party this time, right?” she says, raising an eyebrow.

  “Erm… no.” Bryan shrugs.

  Milan sighs - loud and exasperated.

  “Still a fool, then. Effective, but still a fool.”

  Never mind. I was wrong.

  “Well, you likely need a rank test,” she adds.

  “Ooh, I get to fight Reorn again?” Bryan grins.

  “No, he’s busy training the new girl. It’s a written test. You can read, right?”

  Long internal sigh… Lame.

  “Yeah. Mostly,” Bryan mumbles, looking down.

  She digs under the desk and hands him a form.

  He takes a seat at a nearby table, facing the back - through the open door he can see the training yard.

  Gods, I hate forms.

  He looks at the questions.

  


      
  1. Mana exhaustion can result in which of the following? (Tick all that apply)

      ? Headache

      ? Temporary blindness

      ? Death


  2.   
  3. How many ears are required to claim goblin bounty compensation in Dawnstead, and what is the penalty for submitting false parts?


  4.   
  5. Name three monsters whose remains are toxic upon death, and describe the safest way to handle them.


  6.   


  Urghhh, all of them I guess. Three copper? Erm… fine? How would I know that one…

  Bryan looks up just in time to see a blue cat lady in ill-fitting armour leap backwards into view - only to slip on her tail and fall.

  He chuckles. Bless her. Got a long way to go…

  He looks back down and sighs.

  


      
  1. You are offered a job clearing kobolds from an abandoned mine. You find evidence of a deeper, sealed chamber. What do you do?


  2.   


  Ah yes. Clearly it's go in alone… kill everything that doesn’t hug.

  He answers more questions, rubbing his head at times. Eventually, he reaches the final one.

  


      
  1. You find a cursed ring that whispers promises of power. What do you do?

      A) Put it on immediately

      B) Sell it to a noble

      C) Seal it and report to guild

      D) Name it and keep it


  2.   


  Obviously it’s report it… but I would sell it to a noble I disliked.

  Bryan gets up and hands the quiz back to Milan. She squints at it for a moment.

  “Okay. Well, you can mostly read. You got enough to pass. Well done.”

  I wonder if all guild employees are like her…

  He hands over his guild token. She places it in the press and returns it.

  “Okay, you’re Steel rank now. The Guildmaster will be down soon to see you.” She turns back and resumes working.

  Oh, not even seen this guy. Could be cool.

  Bryan sits nearby. After a while, he lays his forehead on the table and groans lightly.

  Bored…

  A light tap on his shoulder. Bryan lifts his head, squinting.

  A young-looking adventurer stands there nervously.

  “Hello sir, I’m about to go on my first quest. Have any advice for me?”

  Bryan eyes him up and down.

  “Well, you have a sword and clothes - that’s good, I guess.”

  Erm… stab them with the pointy part? Or... confidence is key? What poster phrase would help?

  “Make sure you’ve trained hard. Both your sword and your wit.”

  “Oh, erm… thank you, I guess,” the guy mutters and shuffles off awkwardly.

  Was that cool? …No. Definitely not.

  A door near the desk opens. Out walks a man with spiky white hair and a long beard.

  He approaches Milan, talks briefly, then walks over to Bryan with steady confidence.

  Certainly old. But seems strong.

  “I’m Guildmaster Rurik,” the man says in a calm, commanding tone. “You’re Bryan, yes?”

  “Yes. Nice to meet you,” Bryan answers earnestly.

  “Based on how fast you’re progressing, I’d suggest a city like the capital might suit you better.” He pauses.

  “It’s not that we don’t want you here. But you’ll run out of challenge soon.”

  I mean, still kind of sounds like they want me gone…

  “Do I have to go?”

  “Well, no. But you’re unlikely to get beyond Steel rank with the quests we get. It’s up to you.” He rests his hands on his hips.

  Well… can’t say no to more power.

  “Okay, fair point. Got a suggestion on how to get there?”

  “A caravan guard job’s your best bet - unless you just want to hire a carriage.”

  Bryan thanks him. They shake hands - Rurik’s grip is unnaturally strong.

  Bryan collects the pouch from Milan and sits to count.

  Goddamn. Thirty-five gold. I made a killing today. Fuck yeah

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