My asshole brother threw a horse through my window

  r/justnomythsinlaw

  Posted by u/SunSerpent

  I’ve posted here before about my brother killing a goddess of food because she grossed him out, but believe it or not, he’s not even the worst of my siblings. That honor goes to my younger brother.

  I would like to begin by saying that I do feel bad for him; our mother died in childbirth, and between my parents, she was the only one that liked him. But he has a temper and is generally just a little shit, and I couldn’t blame my father for exiling him. Before he went into exile, he came to me to say goodbye and challenged me to a ritual to prove his sincerity about the matter. Long story short, he won the ritual and proceeded to be a smug asshole about it.

  It started small. He’d shit on my floor even though he knew where the bathrooms were. Then he turned into a tempest and destroyed my rice fields. All of these were tolerable, but then he flayed my horse and threw it through my window, destroying my loom and killing one of my handmaidens. That was the last straw.

  Stolen content warning: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.

  Currently, I’m hiding in a cave to piss him off. If he’s going to break my stuff, then I’m not going to fuel his storms with sunlight. Fuck him.

  EDIT: the rest of the pantheon lured me out of the cave with a stripper. My brother’s been exiled, thank heavens. He still owes me a loom and a new horse.

  u/house-of-the-rising-sun: A fellow sun god, I see! You handled that situation admirably. I would’ve burned him alive. Although, my sister has never bothered me quite as much as your brother has.

  u/CrescentDeer: Because you’re the one who likes to bother me . If you don’t stop trying to sexually assault my virgins, I’ll shoot you

  u/SunSerpent: Get his ass.

  u/HammerTime: I’ve thrown horses through people’s windows and destroyed their fields before, but I would never defecate in a lady’s house! Especially not my own sister’s. My sincerest sympathies, Sun Lady.

  u/SunSerpent: Thanks?

  u/CrescentDeer: You handled your brother with a lot more restraint than I would. I would’ve shot him

  u/SunSerpent: I should’ve kicked him out as soon as he started acting so smug. That was my bad. I know better for next time.

  u/lowkey: Two questions: how powerful is he, and how much gold will you pay to make him go away.

  u/SunSerpent: Nothing. I hope he learns his lesson this time.

  u/lowkey: That’s a shame. I know a guy if you ever change your mind. ;)