Hey Tess,

  I said I would have something interesting to say to you when I write, so I haven’t written for a while. The last thing you need, even in the afterlife, is to have to bear witness to me being maudlin. You never had much patience for that.

  So you’ll be happy, or possibly you’ll be nothing at all, that what I have to tell you today is really interesting. If you still exist anywhere, you’re going to want to know about it.

  Remember how I said I wasn’t going to pick up your research because I don’t understand it and also it hurts too much and all that wallowing nonsense? Well that’s still mostly true, but believe it or not, there is someone in this stars-forsaken outpost who can understand it.

  I had Shayne and Pitney over for dinner a few weeks ago. I am trying to do the sorts of things you would want me to do; otherwise, I would have been perfectly happy to spend the evening in the company of an aged whiskey. Also, I have run out of whiskey, and with the changes from the Citadel, I don’t foresee any more coming into my possession.

  Anyway, Shayne asked about you and you know I never turn down an opportunity to sing your praises, so sing them I did. I don’t remember if I already told you that Shayne is some sort of scientist too? A microbiologist I think. She ended up here the same way we did–by doing her job a little too well. As a side note, you were right: the Citadel really does not want us to solve the problems it gives us to solve.

  They sent her out here “to do fieldwork” with no research team, no equipment, no labs, so when I told her I still had all your research notes it was like I had casually mentioned to a starving woman that I had a basement full of potatoes and beans. It’s not her flavor of science, but it’s science all the same.

  She begged to see it and stars help me, Tess, I almost said no. Don’t look at me like that, it was a passing moment of selfishness, and it did pass, and of course, I gave it all to her. She must have thrown herself fully into it because I didn’t hear from her for the next three weeks. I was starting to think she’d absconded with all your notes and then one day she burst into the clinic, all flushed and with that look on her face that you used to get. You know the one.

  And yes, I am going to get to the interesting part—don’t think I can’t see you sipping whatever they have instead of tea in the afterlife and giving me that eternally patient smile. Try not to get turned on, this next part gets sciencey.

  Stolen novel; please report.

  Shayne immediately saw what you saw, i.e. the cluster of proteins you identified in Pall victims that is absent in healthy blood. She was especially interested in the tests you performed on your own blood, both before and after you got sick.

  As you noted, the protein cluster replicated and became more prevalent the further the disease progressed. We knew that already, of course, we just didn’t know what triggered their appearance.

  So as we know, six specific proteins form the cluster and none of the six are present in an uninfected person. Except in your case, one of them appeared well before the other five. Maybe you missed it, looking for the whole cluster, or maybe you didn’t miss a thing, and I just never understood the significance. Maybe it’s just the first of the six to appear when someone gets infected, but Shayne doesn’t think so. She said you tested your blood twice in a span of four weeks and the protein was not present in the first test but was in the second.

  She spent some time trying to pinpoint whatever factor changed between one test and another and she thinks she found the culprit. Your second blood test was two days after a blood contribution. It wasn’t until later that year you started showing symptoms of the Pall and when you tested a third time, all six proteins were present.

  There’s so much I don’t understand about this. Why did you perform two tests in such a short time frame? Did you already suspect the blood contribution would change something? What were you looking for? Is it possible that the other proteins appeared one at a time between the second test and the third? Why didn’t you test every two weeks to find out?

  Shayne’s theory, in the absence of additional data, is that the first protein is not a true member of the cluster at all, but its progenitor, and that it was injected into your veins during the contribution.

  I know, I know… we can’t jump to conclusions with so little data. My head is spinning with the possibilities, though. What does this mean? If she’s right, and people are catching the Pall while contributing blood that’s supposedly being collected to find a cure for the Pall… that’s huge. Is it intentional or a coincidence? It doesn’t happen to everyone, so is it targeted?

  I can’t even consider that option right now. The possibility that the Citadel infected you on purpose, knowingly, is more than my fragile psyche can bear right now. Then again, maybe this was an isolated incident; some kind of cross-contamination during the blood draw.

  There are too many questions and not enough answers. I should feel frustrated, but what I actually feel is the first tendril of hope I’ve had since arriving here. Maybe it’s not too late to find something useful. Maybe your research will change the world.

  I don’t know how we’ll test it further. We don’t have a lab here, and the citizens are using every drop of blood they can spare to pay for necessities. The price hike has not been treating us well.

  But I promise you this, love. If there’s a way to finish what you started, we will. I can almost believe in this moment that you sent Shayne to me specifically for this, (though Pitney would probably disagree).

  Thinking of you always (and thank you for taking such fastidious notes)

  Samar