Morlax the Great Devourer, Eater of Souls, Destroyer of Worlds, King of Demons, and self-proclaimed Best Mixologist of the Four Worlds*, was preparing for a picnic.
He hated working without specifics. How many people were coming? Did they all consume alcohol? Did they prefer harsh, medicinal burns or sweet, fruity finishes? He didn’t want to over-produce, although this world didn't have a food spoilage system, so the drinks would be fine in his inventory indefinitely, but he simply didn't like serving a guest a drink that wasn't fresh.
"Should I just bring a portable bar?" Morlax asked his General and close friend, Veloura.
The Succubus was, to put it mildly, grumpy. The invasion plan she had spent months refining was now nothing more than dust.
"No. You won't have your specialized equipment, like the fire pit you use to caramelize the fruits for custom orders," Veloura said, her voice tight. "It’s better to decide on a few bulk batches now. Focus on four large-scale drinks. Do you need recommendations?"
Morlax smiled; she was always so brilliant at logistics. "Yes, please. I don't know enough about these people. Is this a small affair, or do they expect to get properly drunk?"
Veloura raised a hand to silence the twelve-foot-tall demon.
"Virgin Mojitos, bring a high-quality rum that can be stirred in on the side. Something particularly weird and fruity for the second virgin option. Then, something strong and harsh for the alcoholic batch. That way, those who want flavor have it, those who want a buzz have a choice, and those who want to feel the burn of the abyss are satisfied. Though, personally, I’d prefer no alcohol. This is supposed to be a strategy meeting," she added, crossing her arms.
"I know you're disappointed, but this could be fun," Morlax suggested.
She sighed and flew up to sit on the Demon King's massive shoulder. "I've had enough 'fun' with players. I wanted to be taken seriously for once, but we somehow got rehomed to a world that has stopped taking anything seriously."
Morlax nodded, steadying his shoulder as he withdrew several large self-serve jugs. For the rum, he bypassed the white varieties; while they mixed cleaner, a Dark Rum provided a more "demonic" vibe and a richer color. Vibe, after all, was half the taste.
He went full-theme for the Mojitos: he flame-kissed the mint before grinding it, added fresh jalape?o slices, and used raw brown sugar for a deep molasses undertone. He finished it with blood orange, soda, and heavy whiskey stones to keep it cold without watering it down.
The second drink he dubbed the Fallen Heroine*. It featured a coconut milk base with pulped, grilled pineapple, drizzled with black cherry juice and served over heavy ice with a caramelized strawberry garnish. Tropical, smokey, and sweet, perfect with or without the rum. For the "Hell-Fire" batch, he prepared cinnamon-infused shots that could be ignited before consumption.
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Veloura took a "test" sip of a Fallen Heroine spiked with two shots of rum.
"Yeah. This’ll work," she said, biting the strawberry in half.
"I thought you wanted a serious meeting with no alcohol?" Morlax asked, loading his condiments, fruit containers, and bottles into his inventory. He even threw in a folding table; jugs never sat right on uneven grass.
Veloura hopped off his shoulder and hovered in the air. "Screw it. It’s a picnic. If the World AI isn't taking the invasion he paid for seriously, why should I? It’s not like the Rehoming Facility won't take us back if this fails. Let’s just ride this out and see what happens."
Morlax grinned. "That’s the spirit. And don't worry, you won't be stuck in your old job again."
"Damn straight," she agreed, downing the rest of her drink.
----
Noobkitty wondered exactly how much a Demon Lord could eat.
She had laid out a massive spread: tarts, donuts, cookies, and fresh fruit sliced straight from the trees. The Celf, HnyThsl, had brought a gift of honey. Noobkitty felt a bit conflicted about it, but the bees seemed thrilled; they were currently buzzing around small sugar-water bowls Noobkitty had prepped as a thank-you.
ExpertBunny had provided a massive veggie tray and a bowl of hummus. Noobkitty hadn't actually seen her make it and strongly suspected the Admin had simply "spawned" it into existence, but it was a welcome addition nonetheless.
Noobkitty looked over at her sisters. KitE and Püf seemed to be old friends; KitE was currently adjusting her stinger-instrument to a low, ambient volume, providing a gentle soundtrack to the rustling leaves.
Since the shop was closed, the animal staff had joined the party. They were all congregating around HnyThsl, and Noobkitty felt a sharp pang of jealousy. The Celf had been gifted the rare ability to actually speak with them.
"Sweetie, give me the power to talk to animals," Noobkitty whispered to her fiancée.
"Are you trying to be a Druid now?"
"No," Noobkitty admitted. "I just want to know what the raccoons are whispering about."
"This is a special quest-skill for her. She’s already 70% of the way to unlocking a new class at Level 0," EB explained.
"I saved the world so people wouldn't have to kill animals!" Noobkitty complained playfully.
"And you got a wish for it and a badass fiancée. Let other players be revolutionary activists, too. Now, try some of that honey, otherwise the bees will be insulted."
"Wait... you know what the bees are saying, too?"
"Of course I do. I’m the Admin," ExpertBunny winked before walking off to straighten the picnic blankets.
---
Standing in front of the snack shop was a woman in a dazzling, colorful dress. It was a rainbow, perfectly tailored to her form, shimmering with an iridescent glow. She looked at the "Closed" sign with a look of mild disappointment.
SORRY, WE ARE CLOSED.
We are having a picnic in GYOAT’s Orchard. You are invited to join us!
The woman shrugged. A picnic sounded lovely, actually. She just hoped her sisters were already there; she had a mountain of work ahead of her and wanted to get started soon. She had to perform her task in secret, which added a delicious layer of complication to the trip.
Regardless, pleasure before business. She turned toward the scent of grilled pineapple and cinnamon, heading into the trees.
---
*Morlax is the best mixologist of three worlds the fourth was a tie.
** Fallen Heroine Ingredients:
? cup grilled pineapple chunks (charred just enough to taste smokey)
1 oz cherry juice
3 oz coconut milk
1 tsp brown sugar or agave syrup
A small squeeze of lime
Ice (chuncked or cracked lots of it)
Caramelized strawberry for garnish (crowned atop or on a stick like a lolipopl)
