The door was wide open as they entered the shop, Stop and Stab. The wooden sign showcased a sword and shield. This is where they came to buy her dad’s shield. Nothing warned the gnome who worked there of their presence, but the merchant was alert, even though he was helping two other new players.

  “Please look around. I’ll be with you in a moment.” He said through a very trimmed beard. The game declared him a level twenty non-player-character, NPC.

  One player tested a pair of daggers, swiftly doing quick stabs at a hay-filled dummy to test a fighting style. Their steps were wide and their swings were large. Compared to the actors in the movies, these players looked sloppy. The dummy magically repaired all the damage before the next hit occurred. A yellow glow gathered around it.

  “Do you only have a bow?” Grandma inquired of Naiad.

  “And a quiver with a bunch of arrows I bought myself. Not with Dad’s gold,” Naiad defended.

  Grandma smiled, and it went to her eyes. “Good for you. You don’t need anyone buying you anything. Unlike your grandma. Check out these daggers over here.” She gasped at seeing Triangle already over there. “Tristan Davidi! You stop that right now and come here.”

  The voice of Grandma stunned the players practicing by the dummy, who dropped his own daggers out of fear. Triangle reacted slower to the voice of authority. The knife he attempted to balance on his fingertip fell, piercing the wooden floor. It was full of similar nicks and cuts.

  Grandma did not say a word, but her eyes widened more, and Triangle quickly ran over next to her, leaving the blade in the ground.

  “You stay here next to your sister,” she ordered.

  “Sorry,” was all the boy said. His hat matched the color of his cheeks. Grandma’s wrath was terrifying. Naiad did not move for fear of drawing attention.

  Grandma stomped over to the knife and picked it up. Balancing it in her hand and tsk-ing with a heavy amount of disapproval as she touched the edge.

  The merchant gnome came over and offered to take it from her, fiddling with a pouch around his waist that looked similar to a fanny pack. He removed a cloth and ran it along the blade. “I can have this buffered out. The child didn’t mean harm.”

  “Really? They coded child leniency in the game? That must’ve been a pain,” Grandma grumbled, her words confusing the gnome. “This is a good knife. Triangle, buy this one, so no other poor soul has to have it.”

  “I get a knife?” Excitement replaced the fear on his face.

  “Oh no, you’re gifting this to your sister. You are the one who damaged it.”

  Naiad felt sick making her brother spend the money on her. “I don’t want a damaged knife. I’ll get something else.”

  “Miss,” spoke up the shopkeeper, “I can buff the edge again, and it will be good as new. If you could, please wait patiently.” The shopkeeper spoke the last sentence to Triangle before walking away.

  Grandma searched the rest of the shop but went directly to the hammers. Glancing back, she ensured Triangle stayed still. The hammers varied in their handles. There was a war hammer made from cheap aluminum to one that was cold cast iron with dragon bone. Naiad only had a hundred gold on her and knew that a starting player only had one gold coin.

  “Naiad, I’ll pay you back later once we get slaying some mobs,” Grandmother stated.

  Her wrinkled fingers danced over a lightning bolt symbol that looked like Thor’s hammer, whatever its name was. Her mom had a copy on her desk. Grandma gripped the handle, and it slammed down on the shelf with a clang.

  “Bull,” she cursed. “This body is as weak as my real one. Is this what it meant by body stat points? I should’ve done more stat points in strength.”

  Naiad perked up. At last, she could educate her on the game. Teachers always led with questions. “Why do you want a hammer? Dad’s the shield.”

  “Well, your dad’s not here, and I prefer to do the beating.” She picked up the lighter, cheaper war hammer, with a pike that looked like a toothpick more than a weapon. “This will have to do. Worst case, you shoot them.”

  “I believe that’s the best-case scenario because I shall steal your kills.”

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  “In this world, I’ve shed my old lady status with my three points of dexterity and this body. I like to see you keep up with my swinging speed.”

  “You want to play a game of speed to see who has the fastest reactions?” Naiad knew she could win this match with her four points of dexterity.

  “I’m willing to bet this one gold coin to your stack.” Grandma made the coin weave in and out of fingers before catching it in the air.

  “Woah,” Triangle said before summoning one gold coin and practicing with his fingers and dropping the coin.

  “Not a fair trade,” Naiad said. “You have nothing here. I want your slice of blueberry pie!” Grandma had brought over a giant homemade pie with the flakiest crust, and sugar sprinkled on the top today.

  Grandma put the coin away in her inventory. Naiad wondered if the woman lied about the body stats earlier and knew completely how this game worked.

  “You have a deal. A slice of pie for the winner. Hands out, we’re going to do a good old smack contest. First to score three points ahead of the other wins.”

  Naiad put her palms up, and let Grandma hover her own above. With no hesitation, Naiad smacked the top of her grandma’s hands. “One point for me.”

  This time, the older lady went on the attack, hands still below Naiad’s. Naiad's fingers twitched as a breeze went by, but Grandma still did not move.

  Cling. Cling. Cling.

  Triangle’s gold coin fell to the ground.

  Smack!

  “Ow!” Naiad pulled her hands back. “I got distracted!”

  “I know. I was waiting for the chance. Score is now back to zero to zero.”

  “What? That’s not how it works.”

  “We only have to count up to three. It’s easier to subtract a win that way.” Her eyes wandered to the back of the shop. “Oh, looks like we have a draw. We’ll have to bet on who gets the most mobs later.”

  The shopkeeper returned, carefully walking with the knife wrapped in a cloth. “I’ve repaired the blade. Thank you for waiting.”

  Grandma took the knife and glanced at its edge. “Well done. Faster than I could’ve done with any of my old tools. We will take this. How much for that hammer?”

  The voice that came from the man was of confidence, and through his short beard, the smile he had on beamed. “That will be one hundred and thirty gold pieces. That knife is ninety-five gold pieces.”

  “Alright, Naiad, hand the gentleman his coins. Same with you, Triangle, and we can be on our way. We’ll find you something Triangle from a mob.”

  Naiad watched as Triangle spawned out of his inventory and offered it to the gnome. He grumbled but did not complain for fear of being yelled at by Grandma. His hands held a bag of gold and daisies from the last time they were online.

  The gnome turned to Triangle, a scowl crossing his face. “That is not enough gold. And no, I will not take a bouquet as compensation.”

  “Sorry, Naiad, I can’t get you the knife,” her younger brother curled up in embarrassment.

  She shrugged. She really didn’t care about him buying the knife. It would be nice, but this all just felt like an adult setting up a situation for all of them to buy gear, even though Naiad had already offered. “It’s alright, I don’t have enough money either for Grandma’s weapon.”

  Grandma shook her head. “Looks like we’ll have to use cheap-quality equipment while fighting mobs.”

  “Or you could’ve spent more points on charisma,” Naiad mumbled. She bit her lip at saying the words, afraid of Grandma lashing out.

  Naiad purchased the knife, leaving enough to buy the basic meal of bread to get a single point of health regeneration. She would rather save the gold and not get hit today. Thanks to Triangle, they could purchase a wooden hammer coated with an aluminum top. It took up half of his savings, but Grandma gave him a hug, promising she would give him all her gold they got today. The group, ready to face challenges at last, headed out of the shop.

  First, they ran through the water fountain. They had no choice as Triangle took off through it. Naiad expected Grandma to yell his name to make him stop. Instead, she laughed and joined in splashing the water. The game seemed to make her less strict and more willing to enjoy running around. The consequences of the world were gone here. All the constant talking, staying up to date with the latest trends, and the noise and demand for music everywhere - all of that stopped when they came here. Naiad stayed out of the fountain, not wanting to get splashed. She still didn’t enjoy wearing drenched clothes. After a while, the guards chased them off.

  “Water bear hug attack!” Grandma declared as she charged Naiad down with open, soaking arms. Triangle screamed and joined in.

  “No, no, no, no!” She took off through the streets, avoiding the dripping mess that threatened to embrace her.

  They wove in and out of NPCs that continued on their programmed day. The properties of some NPCs declared them as level three, while others were closer to level fifteen. Their dots on the map interface showing them all as white and peaceful. Each one was shocked as she ran away. Glancing back, the blue dots of Grandma and Triangle were still right behind her. She kept a safe ten-foot distance from their soggy messes. Their feet smacked down on the cobblestones of the street and into puddles that remained from a previous rain.

  There were plenty of blue dots on her screen in the market of Fanamel. People trading at the auction, gathering the beginner quests, or eating before heading out on their own missions.

  Naiad stopped and turned back to her pursuers and asked, “Are you sure you don’t want to do your quests?”

  Naiad fell backwards and experienced the squishiest and spongiest of hugs. Then it stacked again as Triangle did the same as his grandmother.

  “Ew, not wet clothes!”

  The two laughed and mockingly rubbed their wet hair more on her, like they were dogs. “Enough!” Naiad declared.

  Both listened, and Grandma put her hands on her hips, breathing harder from the run. “I don’t want you two to repeat quests you've already done. You mentioned mountains?”

  “I want to ride in a car!” Triangle declared.

  Grandma tilted her head in confusion. Naiad explained. “He means cart,” she stressed the ‘t.’ “We want to see the mines and their carts. Plus, fight something else besides rats.”

  “Agreed. We aren’t house cats.” Grandma pointed to the hill in front of them and toward the mountains. “Let’s explore these mines and fight some monsters.”

  Honey, I've Leveled the Kids for self-publishing on March 19th.

  The pre-order page is already up on .