“So…it’s a mermaid?”

  “Reverse mermaid of Lake Mahalulu,” Sherbie says proudly. “I named her Madison.”

  ‘Her.’ She looks more like a ‘him’ to me, with those chiseled gams. But what do I know…

  As tall as a man, Sherbie’s ‘rare catch’ stands upright on two masculine legs, turning into a scaly fish about where the buttocks begin. With a white belly and blue back, its gaping mouth faces the sky while glazed black eyes sit on either side of its head, seeing everything to the right and left, but leaving it blind going forward, a fact that becomes quickly evident as it trips over the first clump of grass it encounters. It falls heavily without a sound and flops helplessly on the ground, naked legs flailing, kicking for all they’re worth in an effort to stand up again.

  I watch the spectacle outside of town with mixed emotions, on one hand feeling sorry for the creature with its handicap and wanting to give it a hand up, while simultaneously just wanting to put it out of its misery.

  “So, now what? Do we eat it?”

  Madison kicks and flops around even harder, finally managing to find its knees. Using its face for leverage, at last it manages to sit upright, fish lips gasping, gills fluttering with the effort.

  “No way! I’ll never kill Madison! Even if catching her came with some interesting recipes for reverse mermaid fillets… I do like fish and chips…”

  Madison watches Sherbie with a single lidless eye, looking ready to spring away and make a run for it at any moment.

  Wait, that thing understands us? Do fish have ears?

  Without warning, Madison leaps up and takes off, running for its life. But it doesn’t get far. The slightest dip in the ground is all it takes for the reverse mermaid to lose its balance and fall once more like a sack of rocks. It lies there twitching, gasping, one glazed eye staring up at heaven, the other planted firmly in the dirt while its feet spin circles in the air…

  Sherbie watches the scene with a doubtful look, and I can almost hear his thoughts as he contemplates frying up the difficult creature.

  “Forget about it, I hate fish anyway. Never could stand the taste.”

  “Right,” Sherbie says, shaking himself from the notion of killing and eating his beloved Madison. “Well, then? Shall we head out?

  Oh, hell, no. If I have to stop every five steps and help that thing back to its feet, I’ll lose my damn mind! Besides that, Madison’s not looking so good. Why do I get the feeling if we keep that fish out of water for any length of time, it’ll dry up and turn into jerky? I’ve got to convince Sherbie to get rid of it!

  “We should get going, but, I wonder if Madison will be able to keep up with us. I mean, we’ve still got more than half a day’s travel before we reach Crule…”

  “I’ll just send her to the stable.”

  “To live in a dry stall with hay and a bucket of water that doesn’t even reach her knees?”

  “What are you saying, Rev?”

  “That, maybe, in this case, it would be more humane to…throw her back…”

  From the look on Sherbie’s face I may as well have just given the news that he has to euthanize a beloved pet.

  I attempt to reason with him. “Just look at her. Madison is a mythical creature,” I say, indicating to the fallen half fish man that twitches and spasms helplessly in the grass. “You can’t lock such a majestic mermaid up with common mice and squirrels. Besides, what if people see her? She’s so rare, people will definitely try to steal her from you, put her in a fish tank and turn her into a circus attraction. You wouldn’t want that, now would you?”

  “You’re right,” Sherbie says, moving his glasses to wipe his eyes on his sleeve. “Returning her to her natural habitat is the right thing to do. Just…give me a minute to say goodbye…”

  “Take all the time you need…”

  I watch Sherbie embrace the fallen Madison, wetting its scales with his tears while the weakened fish man makes a feeble but valiant effort to wiggle away from him. Then, when he’s had his fill of goodbyes, I help my friend haul his prize catch back to the lake. We set it free with a giant splash, and the last we see of the reverse mermaid are its big ol’ feet, kicking up bubbles at the surface of the water as it dives back to safety.

  “Go, Madison,” Sherbie says, standing on the banks, tears streaming down his face. “You’re free…”

  “There. That was the right thing to do.”

  “You’re right, Rev. It’s better that no one finds out about her. She’s safer this way. I no longer have my prize, but I’ll always have the memories we shared.”

  A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

  “Yeah…”

  “Besides,” he brightens, “I still got the achievement for landing a rare catch. And a new skill came with it.”

  “Oh yeah?”

  Sherbie pulls up his screen and shares the achievement in the chat.

  Sherbie: [Achievement earned: The Reverse Mermaid of Mahalulu

  +100 Fisherman Reputation

  Awarded for catching the legendary reverse mermaid of Lake Mahalulu.

  Reward Skill: Fisherman’s Fluke]

  [Fisherman’s Fluke, awarded for making a legendary catch.

  When fishing, +100% chance to land a rare catch.]

  Wow, that’s…totally useless. Wait—Sherbie had already maxed out the number of skills he could have. Don’t tell me—

  “I saved it over Slam,” he says as though reading my mind, and all the air leaves me in a whoosh.

  “Slam? But that was a move you used in your Ankylosaurus form.”

  “Yeah, well,” he says, smiling a little sadly, “these days, I don’t really get to use my dino form as much. And I do enjoy fishing and cooking, so… I learned Fisherman’s Fluke over Slam. You’re not upset, are you? I made sure not to learn it over any of my healing spells.”

  “Why would I be upset?” I say, feeling just the slightest prick of guilt. “I’m more worried you’d be upset. Giving up your dino form so you can heal me…”

  “I’m not giving it up,” he says determinedly. “I’m just saving over one of the skills I used to use in dino form. I can still turn into an ankylosaurus whenever I want. See?”

  With that he transforms before my eyes into an enormous prehistoric creature, swinging his massive tail around and slapping the waters of Lake Mahalulu, sending water splashing in every direction.

  “This is enough for me,” he says in his ultra deep dino voice, and I can’t help but grin as I reach up to pat his head.

  “Alright, but you’d better turn back, since I’m pretty sure an ankylosaurus won’t fit in Harrietta’s pouch. And we’ve got a long way to ride before sunset.”

  Between low level monster and bandit attacks, the journey to the mountain city of Crule takes us the rest of the day, as I predicted, and we arrive just as the sun is disappearing in the mountains behind us. It’s a fairly large town, though quiet as most of the NPCs are heading in for the night. Of course all of the shops and restaurants available to players are open twenty-four hours.

  Sherbie, weary after our long day, wants to relax a while. I take up his offer to enjoy a meal of roast owlbear at the inn, wanting to keep him in a good mood while I prepare to sneak off without him later. Actually, my real hope is that he’ll turn in for the night like he did in Pitola, when I first met Charis.

  “You know thish owlbear isn’t bad,” Sherbie says, stopping to drink from his third tankard of blackberry mead, which I may have subtly encouraged him to order. “I thought’d be more gamey but it reallyjusttasteslikechickennn…hic…”

  “Yeah, it’s good,” I say, taking a sip from my tankard. “Hey, you doing alright? You’re looking a little tired.”

  “Funny what thish shtuff does to ya…even in a game…”

  “Yeah, it’s a pretty realistic simulation. Good thing inside TC, eighteen’s considered the legal age to drink. If we were still in Cali… But never mind that, lets get you to bed. I’ll pay for your room myself.”

  “Thash very generoush of you, shir. Very generoush… You’re my besh friend, Rev, did I ever tell you that? My besh fr—burrrp…”

  With the innkeeper’s help I get Sherbie safely to bed in an upstairs room, paying for his accommodation as promised.

  “Will you be needing a room for yourself, sir?”

  “No, thanks, I think I’ll…” I trail off, startled into silence by the arrival of a now familiar figure. “Actually get me another mead. And a fancy drink for the little lady, there,” I say, indicating to the newcomer.

  “You got it, champ.”

  BellissimaBaby looks even more out of place here in this fantasy inn setting, in her fishnets and booty shorts. But none of the patrons seem to notice. To the NPCs, she’s just another ‘adventurer.’ She could come in looking like the Mermaid of Mahalulu himself, and it wouldn’t get her a second glance.

  I lean casually against the bar, just waiting for her to lay eyes on me, and scoff when she does.

  “Hey, Baby,” I offer a small gesture of greeting, and she bristles.

  “Who’s your baby?” she demands, looking truly flustered to have run into me again. I shrug.

  “It’s not my fault, your name’s too long. What else can I shorten it to? Bella? Belibabe?”

  “Call me BeeBee,” she says exasperatedly, and my heart flutters a little to be given permission to use a nickname.

  “Alright. BB. You can call me Rev.”

  “Tch,” is her sarcastic reply.

  I watch the half pint gnome struggle to get into the bar stool beside me. I offer to help but she only hisses at me.

  “Paws off, big guy, I can do it myself.”

  “Of course. Never doubted you.”

  “Humph,” she says, glaring up at me when she finally finds her seat.

  “What’s with the hostility? Can’t accuse me of following you this time, BB. I was here first,” I say, casually slipping her the fancy drink the bartender’s just handed me. Her face lights up just a little as she accepts it, and she drinks half of it down in the first go.

  Smooth, Rev, smooth. Just like James Bond.

  “So, you just passing through?” she questions me, replacing her drink.

  “Sort of. Our destination’s Efja, though I won’t pretend I have no business in Crule.”

  “Yeah? Got a quest here, huh?”

  “Something like that.”

  BB gives me a suspicious look. “You wouldn’t be here for the staff piece, would you?”

  My brow lifts. “Charis’ staff?”

  “So you did take the quest.”

  “You too?”

  She takes another drink, then gets the strangest sort of look. I don’t know how to explain it other than to say she seems to loosen up before my eyes. All the hostility is gone out of her glare, and her rosy cheeks seem just a bit rosier as she glances up at me with her big blue eyes.

  “Say, I’m feeling a little funny. Did you put something in this drink?”

  “No way!” I say, holding my hands up. “I got it straight from the owner’s hands, I swear!”

  BB giggles then, and the sound sends shock waves of heat through me, right down to my toes.

  Gulp!

  “Hey, big guy,” she says, leaning over the bar to get a bit closer to me. “You ever been kissed before?”

  Gulp! Gulp, gulp! Why is my throat suddenly so dry?

  I reach blindly for my drink, missing a few times before I get ahold of it, sloshing a lot of it down the front of my armor in my efforts to drink it all down as quickly as possible. When it’s all gone, I set it down with a hollow thunk and face her once more.

  “Wh-why do you ask?”

  “Why else?” she says with utter frankness, and I can feel my heart begin to race even before I get the system warning.

  [Heart rate accelerating. 134 BPM. Automatic system shutdown if heart rate reaches 150 BPM.]

  “How’d you like to try it, just once?” she says, grabbing me suddenly by the ponytail and yanking my face down to hers.

  “T-t-t-t-t-try what?”

  “Close your eyes.”