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Chapter 21 - Confessional

  “Okay. Then please try to refrain from interrupting. This may be a long story.” Lios said as he sat back, sadness marring his eyes. His expression was twisted, like he was grieving a loss that hadn’t occurred yet. This did nothing to alleviate his parents' concerns.

  “We will do our best, son.” It certainly didn’t help that at being called ‘son’, Lios flinched. Physically, bodily flinched. He was used to it, but in the context of today, he wondered if this would be the last time his father treated him as his son. If this would be the last time his parents looked at him with anything but disdain.

  Welp, nothing to it but to do it. “Okay, I will start now. A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, on a world with different stars, a child was born. There were many differences between this world and that one, the most notable of which was a lack of magic. Instead, the people of Earth made do using technology. Everything magic can do here, they were either in the process of developing machines to do or they already had.

  “This boy, born on this distant world, was the third child in a lovely family. A pair of working-class parents who wanted nothing but the best for their children. They were able to afford a house just big enough for the family of five, one trip a year, a single car - that’s like a self-driven carriage - and enough food for the family to stay content and well fed.”

  As he spoke about his past, Lios could feel his memory skill pulling up details that had been long forgotten. He wondered where the skill would end up if this was just the beginning, if this was how it operated at level one. It was already helping him to find details he was only vaguely aware of previously. The other thing it did was bring back a bevy of emotions that had barely been felt for a decade. Loss, longing, guilt.

  “The boy’s name was Isaac. Isaac was your average boy, at least within the confines of this world. He loved to play soldier, for his father had been one before being medically discharged. You see, without magic even mundane injuries could easily become crippling. His father had been in enemy territory when a mine, a sort of bomb buried beneath the sand, exploded near him, sending shrapnel and fire his way. Lucas, Isaac’s father, took three years to recover enough to work again.

  “During this time, Lucas and his wife, Skylar, had their first two kids. Isaac’s older brothers, Aaron and Zach. It wasn't until four years later that they had Isaac himself, or two years after that that his sister Zoe was born.

  “Isaac grew up normally. He was entered in various sports and extracurriculars, taking to soccer more than anything in those early years. It felt like no time at all from the time he was born to the time he was entered into school. You see, the country he was born in was called America. Specifically, he lived in a state called Michigan, in a city named Detroit.”

  The parents shared a confused glance at the direction of this story, wondering what it had to do with their son, or what their son was supposed to be telling them. All of these unfamiliar names and concepts made it feel like all of it was made up. Perhaps the boy was playing a prank on them? Either way, they did not interrupt, making good on their promise. Lios had a far-off look in his eyes, like he was looking into the past itself, the skill working overtime on its first use.

  “It wasn’t the best city, at least parts of it were rampant with crime and gangs. There were certain neighborhoods that Isaac was told never to enter, not unless he wanted to be robbed or assaulted. So he didn’t. At least for a while. What the city did have going for it, though, was something all cities in America had. Schools for all, education for every child. When he was only five years old, he was inducted into one. At first, it was exciting.

  “Teachers started by teaching these five-year-olds the foundational skills of language, mathematics, and social development. They would have us play games with each other to teach us. Taught us some inconsequential history. Taught us to read and write, although that was something that would be learned as Isaac grew up.”

  Lios had been meaning to tell the entire story in the third person, accidentally saying ‘us’ but not realizing it. His parents, however, did. Both of their eyes first widened, then Ezekiels narrowed as he glanced at his wife, taking in the implications. She shook her head, telling him to continue listening. They needed the entire story before they could react; it was the least they could do.

  Their son was still speaking in a somewhat unfocused way, barely registering their reactions. In the back of his mind he noticed it, but they weren’t as important as getting the words out. No, the confessional was more important. As tense as he felt telling his story, part of him only felt relief as the guilt - perhaps unwarranted - left his bones with each word.

  “It was in these classes that Isaac met his first friend. His name was John, John Price. Another difference between this world and that one was that almost everyone had a surname. It wasn’t just nobles, because nobility was a thing of the past. It had been abolished in favor of a vote-based selection for rulers, though that didn’t always work out.

  “Anyway, I digress. During this first year of school, John and Isaac became fast friends. Isaac would frequently convince his parents to let them hang out, though he was never allowed into John’s home. It was in one of those bad neighborhoods. Isaac wasn’t aware of this for another dozen years, almost.

  “When Isaac was at home, he doted on his sister. Zoe was a refreshing light to him. As he grew older, he would cycle between going to school, playing some soccer, hanging out with John and taking care of his sister. His brothers were both in different programs and hobbies. Zach found early on that he loved music, and so he was constantly in piano lessons. Of course, their parents couldn’t afford a piano at home, but they were able to purchase an electronic keyboard. From the time Isaac was in first grade, music was constant in his life.

  “Aaron, on the other hand, found he enjoyed a fair amount of sports. He played them all — Basketball, football, soccer and even baseball. Considering he was young, he didn’t have to commit to only one or two. The family would go to his games every weekend, and they would watch the kids running across fields and cheer like they were at a pro-level game. It was a good life.

  “It was a good life...” Lios whispered the last bit to himself, though the parents heard it still. Some of the fire in Ezekiel's eyes faded at the sound. The boy paused in his story for a moment, shocked to find that some tears had begun to flow at the memories. His skill let him remember feelings and images that had long passed, and he could feel in that moment just how much those early years had built him up.

  “Anyway. I won’t bore you with the nitty-gritty details. It didn’t take Isaac long to abandon soccer, instead joining his father in fishing and hunting. They were relegated to hunt only a couple of months out of the year, but on top of putting meat on the table, it was a bonding experience that lasted Isaac's entire life. Once he started hunting his father, Luke, put him in an organization called the Boy Scouts. He even managed to convince John's parents to let him join, on the condition that Luke and Skylar would help take him to meetings and let him borrow gear for outings.

  “This was where Isaac really learned how to enjoy nature. He learned there what it meant to have integrity. The Boy Scouts was an organization aimed at building honor and responsibility in young men. A lot of folks tended to knock it down, saying anyone could go camping, but there was more to it than that. They taught Isaac how to serve others without expecting anything in return. How to carry out his promises, how to respect everyone regardless of a difference in views. And so much more.

  “Over the years, he and John made more friends in the Boy Scouts, and in school. Isaac was a bit of a... hmm, I don’t have a word for it. We called them nerds. People who were a combination of socially awkward and smart. People who had hobbies revolving around fiction. For Isaac, this was a combination of four things as he grew older. He started to read books about wizards and swords, stories about people going into space to fight aliens. He also enjoyed video games, but what kid his age wouldn't? These were basically simulations where one would play as a character, sometimes in a world like Ravos full of magic and monsters, sometimes as a soldier of Earth, wielding firearms. The third was that he was obsessed with computers. Little machines that could calculate, show images and shows, look up information from anywhere in the world. The crowning achievement of science, in Isaac's mind.

  “And lastly, his last thing that granted him the coveted title of nerd was the Boy Scouts. A righteous organization that elicited mockery from those outside of it. He didn’t really mind, though. He had his friends, and he wasn’t necessarily unpopular even though a few bullies laid into him often. He was awkward, but he didn’t mind that either.”

  Remembering some of the joyous moments, Lios stopped for a moment, tears still streaming but a satisfied smile on his lips.

  “The years passed fast, at least they seemed to. Before long, the boy was fifteen and still in school. Schooling was provided up to the age of eighteen on Earth, with optional additional study. He was a sophomore in high school and had his first crush. It was around then that he realized just what kind of situation John lived in and grew to admire his friend for not letting it get him down. Unfortunately, it was also at this time that he met John’s older sister for the first time. They had been friends for years, but this was the first time he was able to visit his friend’s home.

  The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.

  “So embarrassing, looking back now... It was his first crush, and she was a few years older than him. It didn’t really go anywhere. A few years after having the crush, he confided in his friend, and that was that. He never chased her, which was probably good because she... she turned out not to be a great person. That’s a story for another day.”

  He took a quick moment for a drink, wetting his throat. As he did, he was shaken out of his reverie for a moment and looked at both of his parents’ pensive faces. Only now did he notice his father looking at him with a slight bit of anger, though most had been washed away, and his mother with sorrow. For a moment he considered talking to them about it, but he had asked for no interruptions, and that meant from him as well.

  “So he grew older, as kids do. His siblings and friends grew with them, his brothers moving out to go to college. The house grew lonely without them. He had only John and Zoe after they moved away. The house felt empty despite four people still living there. Then, he too went to college. He moved further away than his siblings had, moving all the way across America to live in Seattle. Think of it like the academy you went to. He stayed in a dorm, partied at night, went to classes hungover. Like a regular student. Then... well then he met his second crush.”

  His parents didn't miss the way Lios glowed when he mentioned her. How his cheeks flushed a little bit, and he looked at the space between them like there was someone sitting in that fourth chair. They didn;t miss how his fist clenched after a moment, resting as it was on the table, as though the memory were painful.

  And it was. For the first time in a decade, he felt again the love he had felt for her during their relationship. For the first time in ages, he could see her clearly again.

  “She was the most beautiful person I’d ever seen...” He slipped up again, his voice cracking as his new skill worked its magic, drawing up far more than just the knowledge of events. “She had glorious green eyes and luxurious blond hair. A pretty face to match. She was in shape; better shape than Isaac. She was on the college tennis team, and she was majoring in physics. Smart, pretty, charismatic and popular. When I - he first saw her, it was in class. Specifically a mathematics course they both needed for their majors. He was going for a software engineering degree, and she was after aerospace engineering, after she got a bachelor’s in physics, that is.

  “They sat beside each other in class. The first few days were some of the awkwardest of Isaac's life. He couldn’t stop himself from admiring, stealing glances of the woman beside him. It took nearly a week before he even managed to talk to her. It wasn’t until the end of the semester, while the pair were studying together, that he asked her on a date.

  “Somehow, despite rejecting plenty of men while she was hanging out with him, she said yes. That was the most nervous he had ever been. He spent a full week planning it, the hopeless na?ve romantic that he was. He took her to a pretty park overlooking the ocean. He didn’t have much money to spend on dates, so he had set up a picnic with candles holding down their picnic blanket.

  “He had even bought a bouquet and some petals that he scattered around. He wanted to make her feel like a princess. The first half of the date went exactly as planned, even despite the jitters Isaac had. They even shared a kiss midway through, having slowly leaned closer to each other until their lips met. It was magical... It was everything he had hoped for.”

  Lios took a long deep breath, pushing back some of the longing he was feeling. Some of the melancholy. This was a happy story, after all. A story about the girl he fell in love with. Gods above and below, I miss her. I forgot how much, but... I miss her so much. The tears still dripped down his face as he steeled himself. The new skill played too much with his emotions, making him feel them in full force, and he simply could not push them away while remembering these events.

  “She was wearing this pretty yellow sundress. Isaac had music playing too, a song called ‘Thinking Out Loud’. The day, the kiss was perfect. Down to the weather, the company, the perfume and the music. Isaac fell in love that day. He never quite fell out of it either.

  “Just a year later the two were still dating, and they moved in together. They studied together, and they enjoyed several hobbies together. Soon enough, Isaac graduated from university. He got a good job in the city and spent the next few years developing code for the company that would eventually hire his girlfriend. They visited his family in Michigan a few times, his parents falling in love with her just the same as he had. Well, in a different way, I suppose.

  “He even bought her a ring. Oh, in this world, when one wanted to get married, they would give a ring to their partner when they proposed. He had bought one, a pretty ring of white gold with a color-shifting gem and studded with diamonds. He had been so ready to spend the rest of his life with her.”

  Another long pause, Lios looking wistfully at his parents, briefly wishing they could have met her. Another sip of his drink to clear his muddling thoughts, and he was ready for the final part of the story.

  “And then, weeks before he intended to propose to her... He died. I don’t know how, but... I died before I had the chance to tell her, to get married and have kids. Then... I was awake again. I met a god. He used a false name, I’m pretty sure, but I was given options. There was only one real choice. The opportunity to be reborn, with most of my memories intact, in a new world. A world of magic and swords. Ravos, as it turns out.”

  He stopped talking, watching his parents carefully as he intentionally went from the third to the first person in the tale. He gulped nervously, frightened at their reactions. Perhaps it wasn’t the best way to tell them everything, but he felt it was better than just stating it matter-of-factly. That he had been reborn, that he had old memories. Yes, it’s better that I gave them context, I think.

  Despite thinking that, he still wrung his hands nervously. He caught the deep inhale and exhale from his father as the man tried to process everything that had just been said to him. He glanced up at his mother, who was staring at him wordlessly, tears in her eyes. He took in the foxes on the floor playing and being adorable, ruining the tense mood. His parents didn’t notice them, though. No, they were stuck in their heads now.

  It took several minutes for one of them to speak. Nobody was moving. The only sounds were from the furry creatures underfoot, and the breathing of three humans as they absorbed the story. Lios looked between the two, twisting his hands around each other. In his past life, he had been fidgety, having more energy than he expended. In this one, much of that was expended by training or working, burned away through physical activity. At this moment though, it felt like a million bees were buzzing through his veins.

  His father was the first to stir. He had been leaning back, taking in his son’s words, but now he leaned forward with a glint in his eyes. It was less the look of a father and more the glare of a warrior. He steepled his hands and leaned on his elbows, taking in the young man before him. “You’re telling me that you were this Isaac? From a different world?”

  Lios’s head snapped to the older man, feeling like the man’s tone was dangerous. “Yes.” That was all he could say.

  “So you’ve, what, been manipulating us? Are you even our son?” The man's normally calm voice broke, growing louder.

  The grown ten-year-old winced at the harsh question. He didn’t avert his gaze, didn’t shy away from it, but he still had a visible reaction.

  “Zeek, that’s enough - “

  “Mom, it’s okay. He’s right to question it. I... I can only answer how I feel on the matter.” Lios began and looked at his father, who indicated for him to go on. “For the first half a year to a year I wasn’t sure. I didn’t know if I could see you as my parents. I was twenty-five when I died. That’s twenty-five years with another family, other loved ones. But as you and Mom doted on me. As you both showed me far more care than I deserved, I found myself wanting to be your son. So, I don’t know if you can consider me one. But I do consider you my Dad. Sure, you're the second one, but you’re the best father I could have asked for. I wouldn’t blame you if you couldn’t see me as your kid anymore. I have more memories as a different person than as your child, after all, but I do see you both as my parents.”

  “That’s easy to say, Lios. Real easy. But I have to ask. What would our son have been like if some god hadn’t forced your soul into this body?” Ezekiel stood then and started to pace. “I can’t... I can’t look at you and keep myself from wondering. Yet, when I look at you, I simply see the boy I raised. But I didn’t raise you, did I? Lucas did. And Skylar, those were the names, yeah?”

  “Yes. Those were my parents' names. And yes, they raised me, but so did you and Mom. You taught me everything I know about this world. You took care of me when I couldn’t take care of myself. So yeah, you raised me too. I’m lucky in that I’ve had two incredible sets of parents.” Lios said calmly, trying to bring his father’s fears and anxiety down. He had no idea what he was doing.

  “Zeek, sit down. Stop pacing.” Elaine half shouted, her own emotions all over the place as well. “Alexilios, do you swear by all that is holy and damned that this story is true?”

  “Of course, Mom. Of course I do. I’d never lie about this.” The boy turned to face his mother, who, having processed, was now looking every bit the joyful and stern mother he had known. She was frowning a bit, but still didn’t look overly upset.

  “Then of course you're my son. You didn’t choose which body you were in; it’s not like you killed someone to take their body.” She stated matter-of-factly, accepting it as a simple truth. “Honey, we could question this for the rest of our lives and find no answers. The simple truth is that we don’t know if the soul that became our son would be the same one without the gods’ intervention. We don’t know if it would be a reincarnation or a new one or one with its memory wiped. It’s likely if Lios wasn’t put in his body our son would be different but the same can be true for any kid.”

  Alexilios was staggered by his mother’s pronouncement. It seemed he wasn’t the only one as Zeek sat back down with a contemplative look. Silence filled the room for a few moments before Lios, wanting to show his own emotion but having run out of words and feeling drained from the confession, got up and half tackled his mother with a hug. All at once, years worth of worries faded. Years of guilt, ages of insecurity. The anxiety of possibly finding somewhere new to live as a ten-year-old. All gone.

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