Regardless of quality, going halvsies on a bastard is always at least pretty good. Pizza works much the same way. There exists some platonic ideal of it somewhere, and so long as one doesn’t consume a horrendous mutation crafted by some disrespectful country (such as the Swedish, those savages), it is practically guaranteed to be delicious. Nina’s pizza, though, came dangerously close to the real ideal.

  “Oh, my fuck that is good. How is this even better than before?” Alex moaned as his eyes practically rolled to the back of his head, then quickly scarfed down the double slice serving to protect him from the fortress of a Councillor.

  Goldened cheese cracked apart to sauteed onions and peppers laying atop simply spiced sauce made from essence infused tomatoes. Leavened dough wafted a twinge of centuries old yeast as his teeth broke apart the leopard spotted bottom. A few chews, an explosion of mingling textures and flavours perfectly matched, and a swallow later, and despite having the dish practically three times weekly, Alex still could not believe how delicious the quickly thrown together pizza tasted.

  Ain’t nothing like Nina’s pizza.

  “Being Gold Grade Lich make us stronger,” Nina, still cheesed at Nino but grinning smugly, said. “And ever since secret garden finally the compost cursed bracelet, well, you see in second.”

  “See what?” Alex said with a stuffed mouth. A moment later, the buff hit him.

  [You have ingested an Epic Grade Buff!]

  [Nino’s Pizza Buff – TIME REMAINING – 119:52]

  This is a Unique Epic Grade Buff. Despite Nina seething at Nino for being a melon head, she would never let you or her beloved food down. Her chosen friends must stay protected on their quests. For the remaining time, you receive:

  [+50% Health & Resistances to All Forms of Skills]

  [+Immunity to Link Breaking]

  You also permanently receive:

  [+10% Distributable Permanent Skill Upgrade]

  Only those who are friends with Nino receive this upgrade.

  “That is stronger!” Alex yipped, feeling the unsettling but welcoming fullness of food and beefier health apply to his lithe frame. But something else made him slightly suspicious. “But Link Breaking?” He looked at the old Lich couple and narrowed his eyes. “What do you mean, immunity to Link breaking?”

  Both looked back seriously. Then they looked at each other, and then back to him. Tension built, and Alex felt the gnawing suspicious that he might need to—

  But then both Nino and Nina burst out laughing and holding onto each other for support.

  “What’s so funny? What am I not getting?” Alex tilted his head.

  “We thought about messing with you more, but could not hold it in,” Nino wheezed and wiped a tear from his eye, shaking his head. “We know about the special thing you get. No exactly what, but we guess.”

  That made Alex’s stomach water up and his eyebrows tickle the top of his forehead.

  “You know?” He asked. “What do you mean you know? How…I only got this yesterday morning. What?”

  “Ok, we tell you both since it work on both of you,” Nina calmed herself down and spoke to both him and Francesca. “Mr. Mystical know too these things, not you, but how they work, probably, because he ghost. We tell him to go out and shop or whatever he want while we talk to you. This is serious and your business.”

  Power flowed into Alex’s veins as he tried to stay put and listen up. The Buff was working wonders, but by her manner, it sounded like he was going to learn something very important about the System.

  “You know Title and Skill, si?” Alex and Francesca nodded at Nina. “Everyone know about Familiar…nasty thing. Can force connection and control through System Link,” She gravely looked at both of them. “But there’s many more. Companion Link, give someone or something light connection to see what they might need to develop. Alex have something different with Brody. Like a tying or sort.”

  “How do you even know all this?” Francesca asked.

  “We are Lich,” She nodded her head sideways toward Nino, who was sucking back a scent-less cig. “We have link to each other, and to place. Domain. Ma Francesca, you are family, and Alex, you are friend. But you are also both employee. Is how we send you notification for delivery. That is the link. Understand?”

  The two deliverers hung onto her words.

  “And yesterday morning, Alex, we feel System poke our Link. Like claw, or finger, tickle. It no mean, but it also no nice. It just is. But it poke connection and look and dig in,” She finally focussed in on him alone. “And we think we have feeling what it mean.”

  Alex gulped. He wasn’t worried about telling Nina and Nino about the Title tasks he had to complete, but they both had a hungry look to them, and in that moment, he recognized that their Lichiness was leaking out. That internal desire for them to expand their Domain and influence.

  “What—what do you think it means?” He asked, both excited and scared.

  Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.

  “We no need to know exactly what requirement it want you to fill, and you ask us direct anytime, we will do what we can to help,” Nino finally added. “We will always help you get what you need. We need nothing in return from you. I serious, OK? But…,” Nino leaned in and Alex could see the spark of fire behind his eyes. “You have help us so far, so we ask. Are you willing to help us one more time? As friends.”

  Internally, Alex wheeled. The pair had given Alex the job of a lifetime, propelling his fortunes, opportunities, Skills, everything. Without this job, he didn’t know what he would be doing. There weren’t many options for someone like him without a boatload of attack Skills or the backing of a powerful Clan or family. Why, he’d probably be scrubbing steaming piles of guts in some ghastly meat warehouse or worse, getting caught being a thief. They’d taken him in, protected him when needed. And yet…his stomach tumbled at the prospect. Was it the fact that they were a Lich? Was undead racism filling him slightly, making him want to put a wrench in their quest for power?

  Or am I just afraid of helping them and potentially becoming more? When they get stronger, I get stronger too...

  Mulling it over, which only took a few seconds, the stoned voice of street rat sage past managed to bubble up. Nate Paddy’s voice, that sly devil, echoed in his head.

  “Pick your people and your people will pick you. Fuck everyone else. Gooch forward, for you and for them. Be a shit.”

  Brutally selective tribally altruistic is Nate Patty had described himself. His tribe was new, unlearned street rats. For him, in a twisted world where law was based more off who could blast things to shit than ‘morals’, might as well be a shit. Most of those fancy things called morals were punched down platitudes delivered from cushioned asses and flatulence sommeliers who hadn’t a clue how great they had it. Alex agreed. He’d been alone, save for Emilio, and now he had his tribe just waiting for him to dive in and be a dastardly rat. Undead they might be, but they hadn’t kicked him to the curb or want him to be anything but himself. And isn’t that just what everyone wanted, anyways?

  “I’m in,” He said, his stomach unfurling to glow back to warmth. “What do you need?”

  Energy ripped through him, and he eagerly waited to dive into the portal to get to his delivery. The Lich smiled too-widely before Nina let him know.

  “Perfetto, Alex. And thank you,” she nodded toward the portal. “Deliver to the Councillor, and give him the note. When the time is right, or whenever you need, you tell us what you need, and we will help you, but today…you go to deliver to someone with Link powers, so we protect you with Buff. Also…,” she smiled at Nino. “Today you start help us get on the Council of Toronto.”

  “This is how much I hate tax. We go straight to top.” Nino added.

  “This might be above our pay grade, dude.” Alex said while looking up at the fortress of one of the most powerful people in the region. It had been a thought-filled but unproductive and uninspired ride through the unspace.

  “Title.” Brody, right next to him and with crossed arms in his fashionable sweat suit, said.

  “I mean look, I know that together me and you are actually pretty fricken slick when it comes to deliveries,” he shook his head and huffed. “But a Councillor’s fortress? Helping them get on the Council too? They’re not Dungeons, but these people control the Tax Guild Stone for a reason. And look at this!” Alex shoved out his arms and yelled. “THIS PLACE IS MASSIVE.”

  The word ‘massive’ echoed back.

  “Tittttlesssssss. Check Title.” Brody said again, this time turning to Alex.

  “Yeah, I know you don’t know how it works,” Alex paced in front of the massive place that he was somehow supposed to get into, and deliver a pie and a note within no less.

  “I don’t really pay attention to all the politics, because one, shit is fucked since the System came, if you hadn’t pieced that bit together, and two, what difference does it make?”

  “Is home…must care. You have home, I…nowhere.” Brody answered while tilting his head.

  Alex continued to ramble. “So, when the System came, out popped a bunch of these little Relics called Guild Stones. And keep in mind, there’s like a billion of these fucking things, so no point in keeping track of them. Most of them are useless, but there’s two that are really important,” he held up his finger. “Each region, and it’s not like their evenly placed everywhere, because sometimes these Stones dropped within five miles of each other. And most regions don’t even have all or most of them,”

  He started pacing in front of the sleeping turrets that guarded Keanu Bereave’s fortress.

  “Each region gets at least a Tax Guild Stone and a Clan Guild Stone. Those are the most powerful. Tax Guild…yeah…that’s the big whopper. Basically, whoever controls the Tax Guild Stone controls how much Credits are siphoned from transactions or sales from the Clans, Guilds, even Vendor stones. Basically…they set the money, take the money, and then do what they want with it. You can imagine what kind of shit show that is and was when this puppy first kicked off. And I know...kind of dumb of the System, but that's what it is. How else do different regions control stuff or pay for things collectively? Or at least that's the idea...”

  “TITLESSS!” Brody barked, huffing, trying to get Alex to remember his other two Titles he’d forgotten to look into as he was so wrapped up with a crying girlfriend and a special System Title.

  “Thankfully Toronto has the Council. Just a bunch of super powerful Adventurers who collectively do whatever and control the Tax Guild Stone. But man…there are tons of places where there’s oligarchs, and brutalization, and every shitty shit head owner of the Tax Guild Stone you can bloody well imagine. Least they hire cleaners, and keep things in general order, and pay bounties for monster hordes. I mean, some places are constantly at war, or have people switching that thing all the time,”

  He finally stopped pacing and faced the fortress.

  “And now Nina and Nino want me, which means us, to deliver this,” he lofted the pizza and shook it so that the note taped on top waved. “and this note, to Mr. Shut in.”

  “Titleeeeeeeeessssssss. HOME HERE ME.”

  “Alright, I’m done venting man. Thanks for listening. You’re a real good listener and friend, you know that?” Alex turned and smiled at Brody. “You ready?”

  “Ugh.”

  “I know, but we got this, and don’t worry, we’ll figure out together what you want to help me unlock my Title so tha—”

  “ALEX,” Brody yelled and grabbed him. “ALEX LISTEN.”

  “Dude, we have to get going,” he looked back shocked. “You know how bloody big Pearson airport is? Stupid place for a fortress if you—”

  “TITLES, ALEX,” Brody shook him harder. “TITLES.”

  Alex blinked, looked at the airport fortress where a grumpy Council waited for an un-ordered pizza, and then turned back to Brody.

  “I forgot about my other Titles.”

  Brody nodded. “and home-is here.”

  Alex didn’t understand, instead smiling at his clone. “Yeah, buddy, the homies are here, got that right. Thanks for reminding me. I’ll open them on the way. Let’s go. No fear, Shakespeare!”

  He unlatched his arm from Brody’s grasp, turned, and darted toward Pearson airport as the turrets awoke and fired fifty caliber bullets at nothing but air. Howling and laughing the whole way, Brody huffed and smacked his forehead while watching his only friend in the world dart carelessly into the airport no doubt filled with deathtraps.

  “I’m faster now, sucka! THAT’S A GOOD TITLE.” Alex joked, calling back over the bullet fire.

  Brody took a deep breath and practiced his speech once more before firing off after his friend.

  “Home is here. I want stay here.”

  Brody knew the answer to Alex’s question of “What do you want?”. He, of course, wanted to stay permanently in the real world. Now he just needed to figure out how to make Alex understand.