Chapter One.

  Episode 2 — I have never been so utterly humiliated!

  Day three (or was it the fourth? the fifth?) post-natum.

  Oh, Hippocrates!

  If only you could witness my current state.

  I am bordering on hysteria!

  I am completely disoriented.

  My visual acuity fails me.

  My auditory faculties conspire against me.

  My cerebrum is so underdeveloped that I "short-circuit" every time I attempt to engage in reflection for more than a minute.

  I weep against my volition.

  I grin like a maniac… also against my volition!

  This cursed corporeal frame will be the end of me!

  And I haven't even ascertained my own biological sex!

  I labored under the delusion that I could swiftly adapt to a new linguistic system, at the very least…

  But how profoundly foolish I was.

  Even with my clinical memory, I am ensnared!

  A few days after my emergence into this body… into this world—my hearing finally gained some clarity.

  And…

  And that is the extent of it.

  If previously everything I perceived coalesced into a submerged operetta of continuous melodies without intervals.

  Now… that operetta has simply become more DEFINED!

  That is all.

  Seventy-four years of professional practice and clinical experience… Bah!

  Gargh!

  How this infuriates me… I want my fin—

  No! Absolutely no finger-sucking!

  I am a mature woman.

  Though…

  And I haven't even delved into the specifics regarding the most egregious indignity of my entire existence!

  But first — context!

  Day two after my "new" birth.

  (Or the third? Dammit, I cannot recall.)

  I am surrounded by a multitude of novel, unfamiliar voices… some colossal silhouettes are hovering in my periphery.

  I presume they were my progenitors. Or perhaps nursing staff?

  Stop!

  Enough of this cognitive dissonance.

  Siana,

  Concentrate!

  This novel is published on a different platform. Support the original author by finding the official source.

  Ahem… I recall it as though it transpired yesterday.

  I was recumbent, utterly incapacitated.

  As per usual…

  Endeavoring to statistically analyze the ambient noise.

  I was curious to at least determine my own nomenclature…

  I am, after all, an intellectual!

  Who could have anticipated that deciphering this "code" without a "key" would prove so insurmountable…

  And somehow I just, hm… became fatigued?

  Imagine that…

  I — the preeminent physician in Twaylas!

  The sheer number of anatomies I have operated upon!

  Filigree-precise with a scalpel, like a bee with pollen.

  But the treachery of life… it struck with such vehemence.

  So utterly loathsome!

  I had entirely forgotten that during this period, I am absolutely defenseless against…

  Against…!

  My own peristalsis.

  To put it succinctly — I’ve shit myself.

  God damn my hide!

  Right there in her arms… Lord, take me now!

  And this dark-haired woman, I implore you… forgive me.

  Even though the realization that she is the mother of this body should have alleviated this burden… it did not.

  Well, how could such a thing even occur?

  I merely closed my eyes for a fleeting moment.

  It became so warm… tranquil.

  The next thing I recall — two insolent hands are holding my legs!

  Wide apart!

  OUTRAGEOUS!

  And this lovely, wonderful, beautiful woman… wipes my filthy arse.

  Oh, to hell with it…

  I want to weep; I want to secrete myself away in some dark corner.

  To dash my head against the wall and awaken.

  And not behold this, not perceive this…

  Do you know what it’s like when they wipe your backside with a cotton rag?

  Shitty… hah.

  Shoot me now.

  And I must now resign myself to this?

  For how much longer… three months? Six?

  Hardly… a full eighteen months, if not two years!

  Unless I bring this matter under control…

  Into my own hands, so to speak.

  What hands, Siana?!

  I lift these minuscule, pudgy digits. Five pink little sausages.

  INTO THESE SAUSAGES?!

  Aaargh!

  I cannot endure this…

  I wish to slumber; my eyelids grow heavy…

  Give me something to suckle on, good people.

  ** after a half-hour nap, for which everyone present was profoundly grateful **

  And so… ah-oh…

  Still yawning… I didn’t get enough sleep, it seems.

  This body…

  Gharh, fine.

  What purpose is there in continuing to lament?

  One must engage the intellect… even if it remains in a state of rudimentary development.

  I possess the ultimate cheat code and counselor in the universe — my former life.

  Come now, Siana, you were an eminent physician.

  How many mothers did you guide from inception to fruition?

  A vast multitude, wasn't it?

  Well then, let us utilize the entirety of that accumulated erudition!

  If only for our own benefit.

  I am acutely aware of how arduous it is to raise a child from a clinical perspective… particularly at the very genesis.

  But this is utterly humiliating…

  Oh, to hell with it!

  Who else has been afforded such an empirical opportunity?!

  Oh… I feel a strange sensation.

  Good grief… again?!

  Defecation may have vanquished me today…

  But tomorrow, I shall commence deciphering the linguistic code of this planet!

  I am Siana Sha’Tyes. A brilliant physician.

  If I was capable of synthesizing a "Panacea"…

  Then, goddammit, I can certainly exercise control over my own bowels!

  Then we shall see who prevails… you fatuous new life.