Edelgard found herself waking before dawn but she didn't move. She could feel Juliane's breaths were soft, slow, and even. She was still asleep. She wasn't sure what time it was, but it was early. Normally, she would've woken Juliane up when she had trouble sleeping, but she didn't want to bother the woman. This would probably be their last time like this. She just stayed tucked against her and closed her eyes, trying to get herself back to sleep. She was so horribly anxious about everything that was going to happen starting that next night. But there was really nothing she could do about it. The longer she waited, the worse her anxiety would get, so it'd be best to simply start getting on it.
Eventually, dawn broke and Juliane woke up. Though she frowned when she looked at Edelgard. "El... You should have woken me up. You know I'm here for you when you can't sleep."
Edelgard sat up and sighed. "I...didn't want to bother you on what's probably our last night staying together..." She rubbed the back of her neck. She really, really didn't want to be a bother. It'd been several hours with how long she'd waited. She probably should have woken her up, but she just felt bad for doing it for some reason. She normally did, especially if she had nightmares. She had had them, but they were vague and she couldn't remember them clearly. Probably a blessing with how ill at ease she felt. Normally, they stuck with her for the rest of the day afterward.
"Oh El..." Juliane wrapped her arms around Edelgard and rested her head against her shoulder. Edelgard closed her eyes and leaned into the gentle petting that her mother offered. They couldn't stay like this too long because they had to get ready for court that day, but it did feel nice... It wasn't too long after that Juliane looked at her. "Do you want to get ready for the day, honey?"
"I...should skip on our usual morning bath..." She didn't want to go too into details since it felt...odd to talk to the woman about everything she and Hubert would be doing.
Juliane just nodded. "All right. I'll see you in court, then." With that done, Edelgard got dressed and exited the room, feeling a bit empty inside. She would probably never have a bath with the woman again. She knew change would come, but so fast made her feel awful. It almost made her feel sick to her stomach. So much was changing so fast and she hated it. But it was for the Empire's future. She would need to have children so that way House Hresvelg didn't die off. Well. At least not the most direct branch. She had cousins out there somewhere in Adrestia that were her father's siblings' children, yet she didn't know who they were.
She saw some servants skittering around and followed them to a room not too far away. She heard rifling around and poked her head in, only to see Hubert watching several people place things around. She lightly knocked on the door frame and Hubert turned around. The servants froze but he waved his hand at them, telling them to continue. "Please, come in."
Edelgard entered the room which had almost no doubt been her father's. It had lain empty for several years now, so Hubert could take it over. It was strange to see all of his stuff almost completely moved in. But she walked over and he offered her a hand. She put her hand in his and he pulled her close, making her rest her head against his chest. "Good morning. I didn't expect to see you so early." His tone was soft. Normally he wouldn't let anybody see this as it was supposed to just be between them. But he could obviously sense she was ill at ease. He actually held his free hand up and motioned for the servants to leave which they did, the last one closing the door behind him. "What's wrong, my-- Edelgard?"
"Just...everything. It's all changing so very fast. My normal morning routine won't be the same, my nightly routine won't be the same, you'll be entering court as Emperor now... It's all happening so fast. I didn't sleep well last night. I had nightmares, but I don't remember them." It just all kind of came tumbling out and she sighed, feeling her cheeks flush a bit. "Sorry." She tried not to dump literally everything on him, especially first thing in the morning. But she was so off kilter at the moment. Nothing was the same anymore. And it never would be again. She had no idea how to handle so much change at once.
Hubert wrapped his arms around the small of her back and pulled her close. "I'm used to change all the time, but...you're not. I'm sorry this is so hard on you. I'll try to make the transition as easy as I can but...there's only so much I can do. I wish I could help more." His tone remained soft and he kissed her head. It was all so overwhelming. She would be moving into his room. Technically, Juliane should've moved out of her room a few years ago to give it to Edelgard, but with how things were... Well, that hadn't happened. Edelgard was fine with it. She just... All of this was hard.
"I'm glad you're here to help me, Hubert... I really don't know what I'd do without you." She sighed and closed her eyes. She wouldn't be able to handle it without him. If he were distant and cold with her, she would've been left reeling. She wouldn't have survived. She was so glad that he was willing to be at least somewhat open and honest with her. He seemed to be handling things well despite how sudden and jarring they were. He would be by her side through everything which was beyond relieving. He would help her through this like he helped her through so much at Garreg Mach...
"Your praise is too high for me; I'm simply doing what I promised to do." He kissed her head again and held her close.
She shook her head. "This is going way above and beyond, Hubert... It really is..." But she didn't want to argue with him. He was already being good to her by agreeing to this in the first place. She was glad to have him by her side. She was glad to have somebody that was as loyal as he was in her life. She wouldn't have survived Garreg Mach without him. She had barely been holding it together half the time. Being away from Juliane had been horrible on her and he'd provided her with what she needed during.
He didn't say anything and simply continued to hold her for a while, though he did give her a small squeeze. "I probably ought to get ready for court for the day. The new Emperor shouldn't be late, nor should his Empress." She looked up at him and she saw a wicked smile on his face. Despite the general anxiety, she smiled as well. Oh, her advisers were going to hate her decision, but they had given her a month to choose. If not, they would've chosen somebody for her. Which likely would've been Ferdinand or somebody else. Or possibly somebody that would 'keep her in line.' The thought sent a chill down her spine but she stepped out of the room. Thankfully, it didn't take him too long to get ready and he stepped out, offering her his arm.
She wrapped her arms around it and smiled up at him. "The advisers aren't going to be happy," she observed, though it was great amusement. Oh, they were going to regret letting her choose. Even if no love came out of this in the long run, she knew she'd be respected and cared for at the very least. It might seem like a minimum to expect both, but she'd heard of plenty of arranged marriages that were cold and loveless. Since she'd entered court, she'd overheard court ladies talking. Many bemoaned how their husbands didn't show them any kindness and how cold and distant the marriages were. That had been her worst fear honestly... But with Hubert, there was at least warmth and care.
Hubert let out a snort. "Oh, will they ever regret letting me become your husband." He smiled menacingly and she smiled. He would continue to protect her no matter what. She was glad that wouldn't change. She didn't know what she'd do without his protection to be quite frank. Though he wouldn't be able to do a lot of the things he had before... He would have to abide by the court and hand everything off to his mother. That would probably frustrate him after a while, but for now, things were fine.
They entered court and she was right. As soon as he saw the advisers, he ripped into them for pressuring her in the first place and told them that they would have children on their own time and, if anybody disagreed, they would meet with an untimely end. They were left shaking and white by the end of the lashing which left Edelgard smiling internally. She had always hated the advisers weren't much different from the ones that had been her father's. She had cleaned up the court to the best of her ability, but it still remained incredibly corrupt and full of backstabbers. At least Ferdinand was nothing like his wretched villain of a father...
The day was about as droll as any other day in court with Edelgard taking notes to keep up on her memory. It was a lot of mind-numbing proceedings and talk. Though the dynamic had definitely shifted with Hubert in the room acting as Emperor now. People were incredibly hesitant to speak their minds and deferred to him. He didn't say much but his presence had definitely made people far less brazen in their attempts to try to take advantage of Edelgard. She had come to be able to recognise when people were trying to make attempts to use her through veiled words. Well, they were far less brazen about it now. They deferred to Hubert more often than not as he made calls.
After court let out for the day, she wiped her brow and looked at him. "I think we have the upper hand in the court now..." She had support from a man well versed in the Adrestian court woh knew all the tricks nobles would play. Plus, he'd watched people over the past several years since her coronation. He would have picked up on how they tried to use her or gain her favor to use her later. He would not allow that to happen.
"They're terrified. As they ought to be." He folded his arms. "Tch. They ought to have more respect for their Empress. It shouldn't take a member of House Vestra to put them in line. Anyway, enough of that. Let's focus on winding down for the day." Edelgard nodded and headed back to Hubert's room with him, arms wrapped around one of his. There was still time left in the day before dinner, so she had some time to kill.
She looked down once they entered the room and he gently cupped her cheek. "Are you anxious about tonight?" His tone was once again soft and she managed to look up at him, her lip trembling. She was terrified. Even though it would have no contact with anything, it didn't make her less anxious. She had no idea what she was doing with all of this. "How about we go down and see Evelin?"
"Huh?" The sudden change in topic confused her.
"Why don't you change into something a little more amenable to being out with the birds and go down and see her? It's been quite a long while since you've been down to Hele and Ueli's. I don't think they'd mind a visit from us. And I don't think Helen would mind if you shared a meal with them like old times." She was still confused by all of this, but she nodded. He stepped out of the room and she went to the closet, finding that all her clothes had been moved over. She grabbed a shirt and a pair of pants then tugged them on, tucking her falconry bag over her shoulder. It had been far too long since she'd been down to see the royal falconer and his wife. She really missed the days when she'd be able to spend nearly the entire day with them. She missed that freedom...
They headed down to the royal mews where Ueli was working on evening feeding. He blinked when he saw them approach. "Well good evening, El, Hubert! It's been a long minute since we last saw you! How are things?" The man smiled broadly and Edelgard smiled a bit despite herself. She'd basically been accepted into the family with how much time she'd spent with them. She really did miss the days she could see them without any impediment.
"Well... A lot's changed in the past day or so... Hubert's Emperor now. We got married yesterday. We'll have a more public ceremony in a few months, though." Yeah... That was a pretty massive shift.
Ueli looked absolutely gobsmacked. "Well, I can't say I was expectin' to hear that of all things, but, congratulations? You two never stuck me as the lovey dovey type though..."
"It's...purely political." She'd just leave it there. She didn't feel like getting into all of the intricacies of court and issues that brought with it. It was a headache and it'd been pretty traumatising for her to be stuck with those advisers, telling her she had no choice but to get pregnant as soon as possible. At least they weren't in her hair anymore. If they spoke up again, Hubert would put them back in their place. She was infinitely glad for him being by her side. He would protect her from any ill wills and people attempting to harm her or cause her severe trauma.
"Ah, well, I hope things still turn out all right for you guys. El, would you mind helpin' me with this feeding?"
She shook her head and smiled. "Not at all." She was glad she'd overcome her initial trepidation regarding butchering animals... The first time she'd seen the headless quail, she'd practically passed out and had had to go back inside. But, at this point, she could take down prey Evelin hadn't dispatched of herself. She took the bucket from Ueli and started chucking the dispatched birds into the mews. "Would you and Helen mind hosting me and Hubert for a meal tonight?" She hoped it wouldn't be too much of a hassle... She had given them a pretty good raise when she'd become Empress due to all the good they'd done for her after the Crest experiments.
"Not at all! Honestly, Helen's missed havin' you two around. She'll be more than happy to have you two. You mind helpin' with cookin' again?"
Edelgard smiled. "Not at all! I haven't cooked since I was at Garreg Mach." She'd actually learned how to handle spices at the monastery which had been a part of her cooking that lacked while she'd learned under Helen. Spices were just incredibly expensive and not really available to even these well-off commoners... She still hated what the Church stood for and what Rhea did to the people. But after she'd removed the Crest of Flames, she couldn't run on her...not that she'd wanted to start a war in the first place. She really wished she could've burned the Church down but...the logistics were simply too massive for her to deal with.
"I'll go tell her then. And if you wanna grab Evelin for a bit, go ahead once you've finished." Edelgard nodded at Ueli's words and finished up with the feeding, then put the bucket back in its place. She went over to a specific mews and opened the door, taking her falconry glove out. The golden eagle inside tilted her head back and forth a bit but stepped up willingly. Edelgard tied her jesses off to the leash then sat in a chair outside. She stroked Evelin's keel bone and smiled.
"Boy you've gotten fat over the spring. But there are still a few months until we can begin limbering you up for the hunting season..." It was only the Garland Moon. The worst of summer still had yet to hit and they couldn't start cutting back on her food until the Verdant Rain Moon. She was looking forward to the falconry season again even if she couldn't get out as much as she liked. But she would get out for at least a week here or there. She tended to invite Ferdinand and a few others along even if they weren't as interested in the sport as she was. It was just...nice to be surrounded by people that didn't hate her or wouldn't backstab her.
Evelin didn't reply since she was an eagle. All she did was lower her head and Edelgard petted it. She sat out there for a little while, simply telling the bird all her issues and what was bothering her. It was...nice to get to vent a little bit even if it was only to a bird. Not that she didn't appreciate Hubert and Juliane working with and listening to her, but just having a set of non-judgmental ears was nice. She did eventually put the bird back and stuck her glove back in her falconry bag.
She entered the house and walked into the kitchen where she immediately hugged a blonde woman that was a bit taller than her. "El! It's been so long! You need to visit more often!" Helen smiled down at her and Edelgard returned it, though it was more sheepish.
"I've just been so busy with court... Getting down here is hard. Sometimes we go well into the night." She hated those days. They were terrible and she was always exhausted whenever they did so. Thankfully, court had adjourned on time today so she had had this little bit of time to come down and see them.
"Nobles really are pedantic, aren't they?" Helen shook her head and Edelgard nodded her agreement. They really could be pedantic. They deliberated every clause of new laws that were supposed to pass. And it was never for the benefit of the people; it was always for their own gains. Thankfully, Hubert had shut down quite a bit that day so they had gotten out of court at a reasonable time. He was going to be absolutely invaluable to keeping the nobility in check and keeping the court from going too overboard. "Anyway, you remember how to break down a quail?"
Stolen story; please report.
Edelgard nodded, glad to get off the topic. "Of course." With that done, they started getting dinner ready. It felt good to be back in the kitchen. Honestly, she enjoyed the simple cooking that Helen did. She would prefer to have spices, but the simple, homey meals that had dominated around a year of her life were almost nostalgic for her at this point. Most of her breakfasts and dinners were simple since she took them in her room, but lunch was an extravagant affair which frustrated her. She just hated it all so much. The extravagance of the Adrestian Empire drove her insane. There was no need for it other than to impress other nobles. She really hated how much of nobility was simply puffing up chests and showing off wealth.
Eventually, dinner was served and everyone gathered at the table, though Annika was surprised as were her little siblings. "Well good evening, Edelgard! I can't say I expected to see you down here."
"Hubert suggested we come." She still wasn't sure why he'd suggested it, but she wasn't complaining. It was hard to remain too stressed out when she was busy with the birds and talking with the family. Plus, this place just had such good memories attached to it... Not everyday down here had been a good one, but most of them had. She missed the freedom she had had during that time. She could do basically whatever she wanted... She really, really missed those free times... Now all she could do was sit and listen to the stuff court debate pedantic hair-splitting wording on laws while not at all caring about the people who suffered the most.
"Did you enjoy seeing Evelin again?" Annika smiled.
Edelgard nodded and returned the smile. "Yeah, I did. I'm looking forward to the falconry season starting again." It was her one reprieve from court. Unless she got invited out on a hunting expedition with somebody else. She wasn't the most fond of foxing and boar hunting, but she would take any excuse to get away from the castle she could. Her sport hunting was falconry, but that was restricted to the colder seasons so that way life could follow its natural cycles. She really wished they could hawk year round…
"Well, it won't be much longer until we start getting Evelin up to par after her molt. Just another couple of months." Annika smiled again and Edelgard nodded. She wished she could be part of getting her flying fit again... She had really enjoyed working with Romy that first season.
"How's Romy, by the way?" That bird was...getting on in age and she was upset to see her getting so old. She had been the first bird that Edelgard had worked with before Evelin. Normally, an Imperial child flew peregrines before moving onto eagles, but she had been a special case. She had flown a red-tailed buzzard first before going to the royal eagles. It helped that Romy had already been trained by Katinka before.
"We decided to retire her before this season. She's going blind and is having trouble staying up with lure work," Annika told her. Edelgard frowned but nodded. She wasn't too surprised. Katinka had brought the bird before she'd fled during the Insurrection, so Edelgard had only been eight. The bird was over twelve years old. It was sad to see such a valued animal start to lose her life bit by bit. The bird had been good to her while she'd been in training and during her first falconry season. Laid back and very easy to work with to get her flying and hunting. Plus, the sheer amount of quarry she could take…
"That's sad, but it's understandable. At least she'll be able to live out her twilight years in comfort while being well taken care of." Most birds probably didn't even make it to Romy's age. Granted, Evelin's lifespan was much longer than Romy's... Though she was probably getting up in years herself. She had already been Tobias' bird for about ten years before being passed onto Edelgard. And, well, she'd already been flying her for about seven years at this point... Well, she'd missed Garreg Mach's season but the point still stood. Though golden eagles could thankfully live for decades unlike red-tailed buzzards who obviously couldn't.
"We won't let her suffer if we can help it," Ueli reassured her. She was glad. No bird deserved to die a horrible, painful death, though she was pretty sure a lot of them did. She wondered how the bird she'd flown at Garreg Mach was doing, assuming it was still alive... She'd taken it as a family bird when it was just about to fledge then flown it for a season, then released it. She really hoped that it was doing well. Again, assuming it was still alive. Nature was incredibly harsh and unrelenting. Only the fittest seemed to survive…
"So how have things been otherwise?" Edelgard smiled. With that, Ueli started talking with Helen occasionally putting in. A lot had happened since she'd last seen them which was saying something. However, after a bit, Annika smiled shyly.
"I also got married." Edelgard blinked at that but nodded.
"To who?"
"He's a real nice man from down in the city. He don't know anything about birds, but I'm teaching him. He still lives down in the city, but he'll be moving in with us eventually. I hope I can introduce you at some point."
Edelgard smiled and nodded. "I'd love you meet him." Apparently Helen and Ueli's marriage had been similar. She'd not known anything about birds, but she'd taken to it pretty well. Helen had been the one in charge of teaching Edelgard how to make furniture for the birds. She had never really used any of the leatherworking knowledge she'd gained from those sessions, but it was really nice to know how to make things for the birds if something happened in the field. She'd occasionally had to make jesses due to some mishap, but that was as far as it went. She'd never had to make a hood or anything like that by herself.
"Hubert and I are married now too, though it's purely for political reasons." Edelgard rubbed the back of her neck. Might as well get that out of the way. Though they would have to go down to the royal jeweler's one of these days and get rings. She wasn't really looking forward to that. But it would help signify them as married in the eyes of everyone. She had never really been a jewelry person in general, so it would take some time to adapt to.
"Oh, I can't say I was expecting that but, congrats?" Annika looked just as confused as Ueli did on that part. Edelgard shrugged. There was nothing really to be happy about in her mind... It was this or be forced into an arranged marriage. She would rather take her chances with Hubert since she knew there would be at least kindness and respect there. "Well then... If you have time, I can bring him up sometime this weekend."
"We'll see how court goes. It all depends on how damn pedantic they want to get with some of these new laws..." She sighed, shaking her head. Yeah, there was a ton of new legislation that she was having to work her way through, so she might end up having to spend a few nights up late in order to catch up... Though, with Hubert there to help her, it would hopefully go quicker. She really hated being Empress. She found no joy in it. She tried to help the common folk as much as she could, but sometimes, there was only so much she could do... This was all such a headache.
"All right. I don't envy you. I wish you the best, though."
"Thanks." All she could do was get condolences when it came to the court. She had to deal with it. She couldn't just hand her work off to anybody else. She wished one of her cousins could take over the Empire, but that might cause an outbreak of civil war, something she couldn't allow to happen. The other cousins would come crawling out of the woodwork and try to take over House Hresvelg... It was best she keep on being Empress even though she hated literally every moment of it.
Dinner wound down and they started heading back to the castle which made Edelgard's anxiety spike again. She leaned against Hubert a bit, though not enough to impede him as they walked. "I'm sorry, my-- Edelgard," he murmured, wrapping an arm around him. It was late enough that they would need to start getting ready for bed. Which meant taking the first step toward everything.
"It's not your fault." It wasn't. It was those damn advisers' fault... They'd forced her into a marriage before she was ready for one. Though, if she were honest, she very well might have been known as the Spinster Empress, given a choice. House Hresvelg still had living descendants. Her late father had siblings that were still alive with children of their own. They would have a right to rule the Empire as well. But again...she couldn't imagine the toll that would be taken if the court started to fight over who had the most right to take over. She was the undisputed heir apparent so it was best she continue on as things were.
They made their way back to Hubert's room and she got into her dresser, pulling out a nightgown. She sat on the bed and slowly took the braids out of her hair, trying to delay as long as possible. But she knew she couldn't forever. She really didn't want this in the slightest. She didn't want any of this, but she really had no choice. She would have to have children sooner than she would like to... Thankfully Hubert had at least put the advisers in their place, so they wouldn't keep pressuring her for children.
By time she snapped herself out of her thoughts, she didn't see Hubert, figuring he was probably already in the bathroom. She picked her night clothes up and headed through the door that connected his room to the private bath. The inside of the bath was basically the same as Juliane's. It was incredibly opulent with marble everywhere and a massive tub tucked against the wall. She could at least see her shampoos and such had been brought in during the day when they'd been moving her stuff. She knew exactly where she'd sit for this…
However, it was uncomfortably warm for her and she looked at Hubert, earning a frown from him. "What's wrong?"
"The water's too hot; I can tell just from how steamy it is. With my sensitivity to heat..." The removal of the Crest of Flames had helped her immeasurably over the past several years, but her sensitivity to heat remained. That wasn't connected directly to the Crest, so it wasn't like she could magically get back to being used to the Adrestian heat. Honestly, it felt like it'd only gotten worse after spending a year in the more temperate Garreg Mach. She just could not handle the heat after being in the dungeons had sapped her of it.
Hubert nodded and drained a fair bit of the water, helping it feel less steamy and overwhelming. "Would you like to check the temperature then?" She walked over to the faucet where he was and helped him dial it into what would be comfortable for her. She knew he'd keep it in mind in the future. The water was lukewarm at best which probably wasn't going to be the most comfortable for him, but she'd rather not pass out due to overheating. It was just something he'd unfortunately have to endure. For the rest of his life. Unless they decided not to do this long term…
Eventually, though, the tub filled again and she looked down, picking at her dress a bit. She was entirely uncomfortable with this, but she really had no choice. She took a breath in then let it back out and slowly started to disrobe. She kept her gaze plastered to the floor, but she could see Hubert also changing out of his clothes out of the corner of her eye. He kept his back to her, no doubt trying to make this as easy on her as possible.
After she had freed herself from her clothes entirely, she sank down into the water on the bench, knees pulled to her chest. Her breaths were a little shorter and shallower than they'd been than even just a few moments before. She was trying to not lose it completely, but it was hard. She could see Hubert out of the corner of her eye, but she mostly kept her gaze on the water. She wasn't sure where to look. Even now, she felt so incredibly vulnerable even though he was on the other side of the tub. Though she did catch his head turning toward her and he frowned. "Is there anything I can do to help...?"
She shook her head. "I don't think so unfortunately." She really wasn't able to think of anything. She just kind of had to deal with it. She forced it down, trying to ignore her breathing. She got her hair wet and started running through her usual bath routine, trying to ignore the anxiety fluttering in her chest. At least Hubert wasn't really drawing too much attention to anything. They were both just doing what they normally did in the bath, or so she assumed he was doing too.
Though she did look up and saw him with his hair pulled back out of his face and she tilted her head. "It's...weird to see your whole face." She was so used to his bangs covering one eye. It wasn't unwelcome, just...very, very strange. It was long enough to pull back into a short ponytail.
She did see his cheeks flush a tiny bit. "Well, I do need to wash my face too. The hair only gets in the way." She supposed that was entirely fair. He did have pretty clear skin, though she'd never thought about it until now. Apparently he still cared about his appearance to some degree. Almost as if reading her thoughts, he replied again. "It would be unsightly to you if I let myself go entirely. I can't reflect poorly on you." He smiled at her and she felt her own cheeks flush a bit. He really did do basically everything for her. Even down to his appearance. She honestly hadn't realised the lengths he had gone to just so she would look as good as possible.
"Um, thanks," she muttered awkwardly. She wasn't sure how to take any of this. She had known the loyalty of his depths knew no bounds, but she hadn't thought about the smaller things like appearance. He was neatly groomed, of course, but she had really just not expected this. He...He really was pretty sweet. He was scary to most other people, but that softness he showed her... She appreciated it beyond words.
They finished up the bath and he turned his back to her again while they got into their night clothes, then headed back into the bedroom. He flagged down a servant and told them to get some tea for her. After that, he closed the door and offered his hand to her. "Huh?"
"Would you like to dance?" His tone was soft and he offered her a gentle smile. She nodded a bit and he pulled her up off the bed. They fell into an easy rhythm and, with as large as the bedroom was, they had ample room to move. "I know this isn't easy on you, but I'm trying to work with whatever tools I have to do so. I suggested we go down to Ueli's so you could get your mind off it a bit." She blinked and looked up at him but nodded. He really did go above and beyond even if he didn't think so. He could've just left them to sit in the room until it got late enough to get ready for bed, but no, he'd opted to do something he knew would take her mind off everything. She was thankful beyond words.
"Thank you... I really do appreciate it, Hubert. You're so good to me." He was. He really was. She knew he'd been raised to be her vassal, but his loyalty was personal to her. Granted, she still didn't know most of his history and what all he'd done to become so skilled at what he did do. And she doubted he'd ever really tell her. All she had asked of him was to show her his more human side.
"I'm just doing what I have to in order to see you happy and cared for." The arm around her back gently squeezed her and she moved closer to him, resting her head on his chest. He really didn't seem to understand how important he was to her. She would have crumbled long ago without his support or if he'd been cold and distant toward her. She relied on his warmth so much. Even if he only really showed it to her.
"Still... Thank you for everything that you do for me. Dancing like this feels nice..." She did love dancing honestly. She loved being active, though she hated the stuffy parties and balls that the nobility liked to throw. She hated the propriety and everything else. She wished things could be more relaxed like they'd been at Garreg Mach... She missed the monastery to some degree. It had been her last true freedom before becoming Empress.
A knock soon interrupted them and Hubert went to the door, fetching the tea. She settled on the bed while he poured her a mug and handed it to her. She rested against him and nursed the drink sip by sip. "Well... Was that as bad as you'd feared?" he asked quietly, an arm wrapping around her.
She shook her head a bit. "Not really... We were just doing our own thing. I think that helped." They had been nowhere near each other, no chance of touching each other or catching a glance of anything. We.. She had seen Hubert's ass but that was about it. The thought did make her face heat up a bit.
"When you're ready, another step may be helping each other with our hair and such if you'd be willing. But only when you're ready. Just something for consideration." She nodded. Yeah, that probably was a good second step to start with. But she probably needed a few days of doing this first. She had been anxious, but it at least wasn't as bad as she'd feared. Knowing that he wouldn't come near her without her consent was...helping. They were talking about everything and being clear in their communication. Had this been any one lesser, they probably would've just done the deed and gotten it over with, leaving her incredibly traumatised in the process. She still had no real choice here, but there was no need to rush into anything which she was glad for.
"Maybe give me a few days to get used to this at least." That wasn't an unreasonable request. And he had stressed it was just for consideration.
“Of course." He rubbed her shoulder.
They slowly wound down for the rest of the night, her writing the day's events down in her journal and reading a couple chapters of the next book Juliane had given to her. After that, though, they curled up in bed and she fell asleep.
?
Hubert watched as Edelgard fell asleep and it was quickly apparent that it was deep and restful. He was incredibly glad she was comfortable after she'd been so anxious about the bath. He would have to be careful with how they approached this. He did not want to traumatise her whatsoever. They had plenty of time now that he'd shut the advisers up. There was no need to rush into anything she wasn't comfortable with.
But it probably would be on him to be the one to gently nudge things along. There was nothing wrong with making suggestions for her to think about and decide if they were viable or not. He had seen her anxiety while they'd been in the bath. Her movements had been a bit jerky and he'd noticed her breathing had been shallower than normal. Thankfully, she'd been more relaxed after they'd gotten out. He'd stay away from her for a few days, then maybe he could help her with her hair. Juliane had told him her hair and skin routine quite some time ago, so he knew what products to use and when. He would easily be able to help her through it.
They would get through this, no matter how long it took. He would never, ever rush her when she was clearly so prone to anxiety and potential trauma. Even if this process took months, he would stand by her side and help her through it. He hoped his suggestions would never come across as him attempting to force anything with her. He had just thought of a good potential next step. It was still low stress with no sort of sexuality involved. He wasn't sure where to go after that, but maybe he would figure something out.
However, he felt his own eyelids begin to grow heavy and he closed them, holding Edelgard close to his chest. Several nights of no sleep had caught up to him, so he needed to rest now too...
