“Can you imagine that? With dirty, worn-out panties!”

  Martha felt tense, remembering that day, but she pushed it away. They’ve been traveling together for a dozen hours, killing time with flashbacks and other shallow conversations.

  “Ugh, I can kind of imagine that... how did you react to that?”

  “I don’t want to answer that,” she said, slightly blushed.

  “Och, now I’m curious.”

  “It was still my job, you know? I couldn’t retaliate, I had to tolerate it. How would you react, huh?”

  “That’s simple. I’d take mine out and throw it at her! We’d have a panty fight.”

  “Suuure, yeah. I can totally see that.”

  “Well, to be honest. I don’t know. Hmm…”

  Even though they didn’t know each other very well yet, Orion could see a clear improvement in Martha’s state compared to how she had looked when they had met. Her exhausted appearance has been replaced by something a little more lively. Occasionally, a single smile would light up her face, although it didn’t last very long. In Orion’s eyes, it was a huge change, and he no longer thought she was acting.

  Martha, on the other hand, didn’t miss Orion’s moments of strangeness. One moment he would be overly cheerful for no reason, the next his face and demeanor would drain of all emotion, like someone had pulled the plug out of a full sink. She had opened up a bit since the journey began. There were a few moments when she let her guard down, coming closer to him as he looked around for danger, hiding behind the rocks. When she first approached him, she could have sworn that when he turned around and saw how close she was, she saw a brief sign of panic in his eyes.

  After that little incident, Martha realized something. The distance he maintained might not have been just for her. She was a little ashamed that, until now, all she thought about was her feelings. When they met, he made it clear that she had been hurt ‘too’. He even claimed that he had been drowned. Maybe he had been attacked and beaten before that? Although Martha doubted that he had been through something like she had, any encounter with death could leave scars on the psyche. He looked like he was taking it a lot better than she was, but after a longer look, she noticed more instability. As if he had kept it all buried somewhere deep. Until now, they haven’t talked about what they’ve really been through. Martha didn’t want to be nosy, so she simply accepted his weird mood fluctuations. She also didn’t know if she would be able to tell what she had experienced before she woke up here.

  “I feel like my legs are going to get mad at me and walk away from me on their own. How about a rest?” Orion asked.

  “Definitely a good idea. I’m tired too, and you... how long did you walk before you met me?”

  “I think since I woke up here. I mean, I took a few breaks, but nothing too long. How long was it? Hmmm, hmm, hmm… I think I can count.”

  Orion thought for a moment, then continued.

  “I can’t tell the time, but if I’m not mistaken, I walked about 30 kilometers plus a climb every three thousand steps. It’s not really that much, but when I was walking alone, I moved waaay slower.”

  “I think that’s quite a lot, especially considering what we have to walk on. Where do you want to take a break?”

  “I suggest climbing onto some rock shelves. It’ll be safer. Maybe we can find two that are relatively close to each other?”

  “We can fit on one, you know?”

  “Uh,” replied Orion, then he fell silent for a moment. He wasn’t yet comfortable enough to sleep next to another person. Noticing his tension, Martha decided to lighten the mood.

  “Do I smell that bad?”

  “What? Eh, all right, let’s go. I think I can handle it.”

  “Hey...”

  They had to walk a bit more to find the right spot. After a short climb, Martha fell onto a stone, panting. Orion, on the other side, stood for a moment, looking around, but decided to climb to the top and check the surroundings. He announced that he would be back soon, then continued climbing. It was a good idea, as he finally noticed a change in the terrain. They would have to turn a bit, but he could see a far place where the rocks became less dense.

  Orion stayed on top for a moment, wondering what this sight could mean. Although it would take a long time to get there, given the monotony of the place so far, any difference could mean a place worth checking out. He decided to go down to the rock ledge and share his discovery. When he reached their resting place, however, he noticed Martha already asleep. He decided not to wake her. Instead, he would tell her about it later.

  He lay down on the rocks, for a moment looking for the least uncomfortable position, then closed his eyes. Orion was afraid of the nightmares that would haunt him when he fell asleep. He was afraid that at night he would relive this terrible period of his life over and over again. Still, it seemed as if his descent into sleep came instantly. He dreamed of his youth. Those were the days before he even decided to take his quiet approach. A time he could barely remember.

  Even as a child, Orion looked at people differently than his peers. For as long as he could recall, he had this element of cautious approach. He didn’t fully understand it then, but in his eyes, people were too unpredictable. Being with his family was one thing, but sitting in kindergarten surrounded by kids who didn’t think too hard about what they were doing was exhausting for his nerves. He never knew what they would do, and it was overwhelming him. He saw fights over toys and screaming or crying for no reason. Even then, he felt that he was different from children next to him, but after witnessing all their behaviors, a real dislike began to grow within him. His dream changed to the vision of his family. He saw little Robert in it, crying while watching some musical. He always had a feeling they’d get along.

  Orion felt as if it had only been a moment, but he opened his eyes and stretched. He saw Martha sitting on the edge of a rock ledge contemplating. He decided to approach her slightly and also sat on the edge, greeting her.

  “How are you feeling?” he asked.

  “Okay… but you feel it too, right?”

  “Something… kind of… resembling hunger?”

  “Mhm. I’m worried about that feeling. It’s like my whole body’s hungry.”

  “I feel it too, but it’s not too intense yet. How about you?”

  “I can live with it for now. But we don’t know how long it will last.”

  Letting that thought settle, Orion sat in silence for a moment before saying.

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  “Before I went to sleep, I climbed to the top to look around. I saw a place where the rocks are thinning, although it would be a long journey. Maybe we could find something there.”

  “Mhm. Are we going, or do you still want to recover?”

  “It’s alright,” he said. “Before we go down, I’ll go up again to make sure about direction.”

  As he said, so he did. At the top, he looked around for a while, then they came down and went on their way together, and after a while, they started talking.

  “I thought I’d have a much harder time resting, but I fell asleep immediately,” he said. “Maybe it really was the smell.”

  “Ori…”

  “I’m kidding, I’m kidding. Hmm, to think I’m gonna start talking and even joking around myself. Times are changing, aren’t they?”

  “I thought about that earlier. I mean, these… mood fluctuations of yours. They are quite, how shall I say, contrasting?”

  “Sorry, I’m trying to get it under control.”

  “You don’t have to, you know?”

  Orion fell silent, thinking about this. He had been keeping his emotions in check more for himself than for her, still feeling strangely different from his former self. There was a clear reason for his conversion to a Stoic lifestyle, one he had never mentioned to anyone before. He was thinking now that maybe he could open up a little bit and tell Martha about it. Although from the perspective of other people, he didn’t do anything wrong, but in his eyes, it was terrible behavior, and he had been reeling from it for quite some time. He had toned himself down to avoid it in the future.

  Martha still didn’t want to be nosy, but the more time she spent in Orion’s company, the more she was sure that he had buried many things deep inside. She didn’t want to bury her wounds, as they were still very fresh, but she’d already caught herself thinking mostly about herself. So she decided to bring up this subject. It would probably be hard, but talking it out might be helpful. Maybe by getting it all off their chests, they could start healing. Both of them. In her opinion, it wasn’t appropriate to ask right away without giving anything back. So she’d have to start with her own story. But before she started, she decided to get confirmation of her thoughts. She sighed deeply and said.

  “You saw my reaction when we met. You also mentioned that ‘I too’ have been through something. I know we’ve been avoiding this subject, but I think... I think talking about it might help. What do you think?”

  Orion processed the information, then decided that he shouldn’t really have much trouble talking about it. He was focusing more on his change than what he’d been through. He’d had a full year to get used to it, after all. Thinking about it, he caught a thought that he sometimes had since waking up here. Thinking about his return from this place, he sometimes imagined himself walking into his apartment and being greeted by Byton. Yeah, maybe talking about it was a good idea.

  Time passed and they walked in silence. Finally, Orion answered.

  “You’re right. Want me to start?”

  “No. I brought this topic up, and I think I should tell you first.”

  “Before you start. We both know it will be a difficult conversation. Let’s find a safe place first.”

  “Mhm.”

  Trying to lighten the mood with some light-hearted jokes and banter, they looked for a suitable place for another conversation. Soon they found another rock with a protruding ridge on which they could sit and talk. After climbing, they sat down opposite each other.

  “Okay, just remember. If it gets too hard for you, there’s no point in forcing yourself, right?” he said, smiling encouragingly.

  “Mhm. Damn, I already feel like this wasn’t a good idea. But... I want you to know. And I want to know, too.” Martha replied, pausing for a moment to gather her courage. After a moment, she began her story.

  Martha decided to start the story from the beginning. She told him about what it was like for her to come home from work every day. She mentioned that it had been going on for a few years and that she was used to it, then she got to the part about what had happened that horrible day. As she spoke about the kidnapping and what the next two months had been like for her, Orion could see her struggling with each word. She said that she was so objectified that, out of habit, she almost introduced herself to him, as the number they called her room. She told him how she had been drugged all the time and what she had to go through every day while she was there.

  When she finished her story, she couldn’t hold back her tears, but after looking at Orion’s face, her eyes opened wider. Although they didn’t know each other well, they had already had many conversations. Martha expected to see concern and compassion in him. She assumed he would try to comfort her, but instead she saw open hostility in him now.

  “And that’s it? Are you fucking kidding? This sounds like a fucking vacation, you know?” Orion wanted to feel sorry for her. He wanted so badly, even now, fighting to get that feeling in him. But he couldn’t. Instead, he felt like he was boiling inside. He was angry, and there were many reasons for that. As usual, he was angry at the people who had done these things. He was angry at himself for responding the way he had. But most of all, he was angry at her for acting this way, even if she didn’t fully know what was being done to her most of the time. They hadn’t made any special effort to make her suffer. He knew he shouldn’t, but that knowledge didn’t go with his emotions.

  Martha, hearing his words and seeing his reaction, realized that, in reality, there was actually a stranger in front of her. After these conversations, she had formed some opinion on him, but now she felt like she was entirely wrong. Once again, she felt fear and reflexively began to back away, afraid of his reaction.

  “Fuck, fuck!” Orion shouted, gritting his teeth and barely controlling himself. He wasn’t used to dealing with the pent-up emotions that were now boiling inside him. It was only now that he noticed the fear in her eyes, and realized everything he said.

  He got up and backed away to give them some space. Leaning against a rock, he tried to calm the chaos in his head by breathing deeply. His breathing became fast and loud. A long moment passed, and if it wasn’t for the fact that they were now on a small rock shelf, they might have split up, never meeting again.

  It finally dawned on him that he wasn’t the one who mattered at this moment. In front of him sat a terrified woman who had just shared her nightmare, to which he responded, scaring her even more. Orion was ashamed of himself. He had never thought he would react this way, but it had happened, and he would have to live with this memory forever. The weight of it all made him lose control, letting out a flood of tears.

  “I’m so sorry,” he said.

  He lowered himself, sitting down again, and buried his head in his knees, sobbing. “I’m so sorry,” he repeated.

  Martha looked at him in silence, her mind blank. In addition to the usual sounds of this place, she heard sniffling and uncontrolled breathing. They sat like that for a long time. When she finished speaking and heard his reaction, she was initially terrified, but it changed to disbelief and then growing anger. Now, however, having time to think, watching him in this state, something stirred inside her. Finally, she stood up and approached him. Crouching, she put her hand on his head, causing a brief flinch, but nothing more.

  “It’s alright,” she said quietly after a while.

  Her words only made him feel worse. Orion was full of self-hatred at that moment. He hated what he had said, and yet she approached him and put her hand on his head. This touch was hard for him to interpret. At the same time, he was scared, not even noticing her approach, and on the other hand, it was so different from the touches he had gotten used to over the past year. He tried to control his breathing, but it took some time.

  “It’s alright,” she repeated, now sitting down next to him.

  They sat side by side, shoulder to shoulder, accompanied only by the warm breeze and the sounds of this weird place. After fully processing his sudden response and considering his mood swings and momentary panic reactions, she said.

  “I guess I misjudged the situation too. Do you want to talk about it? If it’s too much, you don’t have to.”

  Orion sat still for some time. At some point, he finally started talking. He told her how he was working on the program that ultimately led to his kidnapping. About how when he went to sleep in his own bed, he just woke up somewhere else. About how they showed him what was left of his friend. He told her how they took away everything he was attached to, while making sure he suffered as much as possible just to fulfill an order that was no longer relevant. He spoke at length and spared no detail.

  Martha listened with wide eyes until at one point she hugged him and started sobbing again. They knew from the beginning that this wouldn’t be a short and easy conversation. At one point, Orion finally moved and hesitantly returned the hug. So they cried, holding each other. Time passed, and they shared these moments of sadness together, feeling that they finally had some support in each other.

  It was all very exhausting, although in a very different way than the whole journey. After a few hours, they finally pulled themselves together. Orion once again apologized for his outburst, to which she once again said that everything was alright.

  They were ready to move on. So they got down and started their journey again, this time without the forced distance. They both felt like they finally had someone they could trust.

  They both felt that they were in this situation together.